Should married people have "curfews"?

[reallynow]

I will say no. Spouses should be grown (and considerate) enough to just call if they plan on being out late. That said, if my SO didn't call, he'd get the third degree. Just tell me so I don't worry is all I ask.

-A

The bolded is my take. When we first got married I had to "train" him to call in if he was going to be late, I do the same. Keep in mind this is more of a 3-4 times a year occurance. If either one of us was going out more frequently then it might be more of an issue.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

If a married person is out with friends, does their spouse have a right to expect them to come home at a certain time, like before 12 am?

All opinions, married and single, are welcome!


ETA: Here's the situation...

Ok, so you know I'm home with my kids all day every day. My therapist told me I don't spend enough time away, and she was right, because I have don't trust anyone with my kids.

So my best friends and I started doing dinners on Monday nights. I'm sometimes out pretty late (11pm or so), but the kids go to sleep early and I always make dinner before I leave.

So, I'm telling another friend about this, and she says, "You stay out pretty late. You must think you're single!" in a joking way. So, she then tells me that she thinks I should be home earlier.

I feel like this...I'm don't get out much, so when I do get out, I think I should have a little leeway. Plus, I'm a grown woman and not doing anything sordid.

Anyway, turns out, my dh sort of agrees with my friend.

I believe that two married people should be able to still be themselves and still respect their spouse at the same time. The vows didn't say till mid night or we part.

Now, this leads to the word respect. Which in this scenario involves two people determining the disrespect threshold. There is no such time that is universal to all marriages. When we lived in my home state, there were times where I came home at 3am. Let 5 married women get in the same room with one another swapping war stories, please I could be ALL night! My husband knew that I was being me and he allowed me that, which made me love him more. I did provide contact information and cell phone with me for him to call me at anytime to tell me to get the heck home. He never did such and never has. He trust me. Now, if I was doing such EVERY WEEKEND and the communication lines were blocked in the interim, then okay that's disrespect IMO.

My husband is a home body, but if he does go some where and is out late, he knows the the communication lines must be open and answered. When I say come home, that means come home. Plain and simple. I do the same. Do I call him? No. Does he call me to say babe I'm here now or Okay Baby I'm leaving now and should be home in such in such hour? Yes.

But again, its up to the couple to set a reasonable disrespect threshold in this area.

That's my 2 cents.

 

[frankie]

No curfew. But, an understanding that you'll call when you'll be late, so they don't worry, sounds appropriate. My married friends can hang out as long as my single friends, they just call and check in, whereas the single ones don't.