is it just me or do average looking women always have a man?

[celiabug]

i read this somewhere and i dont mean to sound rude but i find it true. i notice that average looking women are ALWAYS the ones getting hit on and the more attractive woman are not and the men that approach more attractive woman are never decent. They are usually the "playa" type.. you know, the ones that holla "aye shawty" and what not. lol cuz i have a lot of good looking friends who are always single and a lot of average looking friends who have a line of men waiting.. am i alone in my observation??

 

[FelaShrine]

average to whom though?

maybe these men dont think they're average?

 

[Lucie]

It might seem like but I think average looking woman might be more confident and approachable than drop-dead-gorgeous women. Often times men think super gorgeous women are already taken and don't even ask them out. Looks can take women but so far. Also, what a man finds beautiful varies. Being attractive/beautiful is what might make a man approach you. But what comes out of your mouth and your actions is what will keep him around.

 

[ThickHair]

Beauty is in the eye of the behold, what you think is a 5, John may think is a 10. Will may think a 2........................Men are strange creatures.

 

[TayMac]

Average to us maybe but men have a different criteria. Why shouldn't average people be in relationships? Are their partners also avg?

Average looking people account for a higher portion of the population so it only makes sense.

 

[natural_one]

It might seem like but I think average looking woman might be more confident and approachable than drop-dead-gorgeous women. Often times men think super gorgeous women are already taken and don't even ask them out. Looks can take women but so far. Also, what a man finds beautiful varies. Being attractive/beautiful is what might make a man approach you. But what comes out of your mouth and your actions is what will keep him around.

This is the reason I hear all the time.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Sociology major checking in!

I sort of agree. I figured it's because the uber-attractive/popular boys/men are used to females throwing themselves at them. Average females may fall into a "package deal" category (ie nice body, ok face wise, awesome personality). Pretty-pretty girls also end up with ok looks/nice guy types. Then there's those studies about attractive people and how they're treated. I can go on and on. And while beauty is in the eye of the beholder, there is definitely a scale. There's also the "line of symmetry", etc etc.

I'm too lazy to dig up studies on relationships to support my theories, so I wont, lol....I'm not in school anymore

 

[pearcey]

Speaking from experience, any woman who would pose such a question may be lacking from poor self esteem or low self image. To think of anyone as "average" implies there is someone "better". God made us all. Our "crowns" are special and none of us should ever question each other's beauty. For the majority, that same man we wonder about is not worthy in the first place and we have to hope he isn't just using any woman for his pent up "release". To reiterate, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...let us all respect that which makes each of us a prize...

 

[MissMasala5]

So a man with an average woman is using her? Are you also speaking from experience with this observation?

 

[SurferBabe]

I knew this topic would bring out the "PC" opinions. OP, I believe there is an evolutionary reason for this but I just don't know what it is. I've noticed that many very attractive women seem to have not-so-great love lives. I think it is the whole package that makes a man fall in love and want to commit. When faced with an incredibly attractive woman, it might be hard for him to focus on any other aspects of her personality/character and therefore he never really falls in love with her.

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

Okay, I never heard the "they assume pretty women are taken" thing. I have heard the "very pretty women are mean" thing but they don't phrase it quite that way. I don't label myself as super pretty but I find myself to be attractive and I've had men be very surprised that I'm so laid back and not high maintenance and they have commented that they thought I'd be "stuck up".

I stopped trying to figure out what men want. I don't think they even know what they want. The only man worth figuring out is the one that YOU want and that wants you.

 

[PinkPeony]

average to whom though?

maybe these men dont think they're average?

Agreed.
I think our perception of average is skewed by the media.
Take a walk around walmart and you'll see average.

 

[Fine 4s]

Okay, I never heard the "they assume pretty women are taken" thing. I have heard the "very pretty women are mean" thing but they don't phrase it quite that way. I don't label myself as super pretty but I find myself to be attractive and I've had men be very surprised that I'm so laid back and not high maintenance and they have commented that they thought I'd be "stuck up".

I stopped trying to figure out what men want. I don't think they even know what they want. The only man worth figuring out is the one that YOU want and that wants you.

letskeepntouch
Not going to lie, I find you very attractive and thought hmmm... Her posts sound like she's a nice person and somehow (no I know why) I didn't expect that. So I second those men's thoughts!

 

[RocStar]

i read this somewhere and i dont mean to sound rude but i find it true. i notice that average looking women are ALWAYS the ones getting hit on and the more attractive woman are not and the men that approach more attractive woman are never decent. They are usually the "playa" type.. you know, the ones that holla "aye shawty" and what not. lol cuz i have a lot of good looking friends who are always single and a lot of average looking friends who have a line of men waiting.. am i alone in my observation??

Where do you be hanging out?

 

[ManeStreet]

theres more "average" people than gorgeous people, maybe thats why.

its like a bell curve. 10% of people fall into unattractive, 80% of people into average & 10% into very attractive. So when you are out you will notice more "average" people paired up because there are more "average"people in the population.

 

[Orchid1992]

Okay, I never heard the "they assume pretty women are taken" thing. I have heard the "very pretty women are mean" thing but they don't phrase it quite that way. I don't label myself as super pretty but I find myself to be attractive and I've had men be very surprised that I'm so laid back and not high maintenance and they have commented that they thought I'd be "stuck up".

I stopped trying to figure out what men want. I don't think they even know what they want. The only man worth figuring out is the one that YOU want and that wants you.

The sheer number of people who think I'm stuck up or high maintenance when they first meet me is appalling.

That being said, OP I've never noticed what you have.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Speaking from experience, any woman who would pose such a question may be lacking from poor self esteem or low self image. To think of anyone as "average" implies there is someone "better". God made us all. Our "crowns" are special and none of us should ever question each other's beauty. For the majority, that same man we wonder about is not worthy in the first place and we have to hope he isn't just using any woman for his pent up "release". To reiterate, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...let us all respect that which makes each of us a prize...

If you pull 10 people off of the street it wouldn't be hard to line them up in the order of what you find attractive. Yes, we definitely all are beautiful on the inside and outside, I believe this. But so is all of God's creation. This does not stop me from being repulsed by roaches .

There is a reason we all look different. Who knows, but I guess so we can be more discriminating in our mates.

I knew this topic would bring out the "PC" opinions. OP, I believe there is an evolutionary reason for this but I just don't know what it is. I've noticed that many very attractive women seem to have not-so-great love lives. I think it is the whole package that makes a man fall in love and want to commit. When faced with an incredibly attractive woman, it might be hard for him to focus on any other aspects of her personality/character and therefore he never really falls in love with her.

Hmm, never thought of it like that...

 

[Dilettante]

Us ugos just learn to develop other traits that keep men interested

In all seriousness, I think there are multiple reasons why this happens (including boring old ratios) and most of them cannot be changed. So it's better to worry about your own personal life than to try and unravel these mysteries of the universe.

 

[Kimbosheart]

We can't agree on the super beauties on this board. Real life is probably the same. I was always told that pretty girls are a dime a dozen. I think there are some good evolutionary, anthropological and sociological reasons. with the exception of what Beyonce allows to be portrayed to the public most pretty women have horrible love lives. Halle, J.Lo, Kim. I think self esteem and socialization play a part in this. For instance girls who may be pretty but that's all their family expected from them so they are annoying to be around for any other reason.


When I have a daughter I'll tell her the same as I was told and to take pride in her looks, personality, education and talents. If she loves herself unconditionally she will have no problem finding a man who wants to do the same.

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

letskeepntouch
Not going to lie, I find you very attractive and thought hmmm... Her posts sound like she's a nice person and somehow (no I know why) I didn't expect that. So I second those men's thoughts!

Thank you for the compliment and the cosign.

 

[Foxglove]

OP where do you fall on the spectrum? Are you above? Below? Are you having a hard time meeting men when you go out with your average looking friends?

 

[RegaLady]

Confidence looks great on everyone-from oogly to average to pretty. I think some "pretty" women rely on looks to make them and never really gain confidence in other areas. Some average women learn to hoan other gifts and just be confortable in their skin and men love it.

 

[mallysmommy]

I stopped trying to figure out what men want. I don't think they even know what they want. The only man worth figuring out is the one that YOU want and that wants you.

this!

idc anymore what men think or want. I'm me. take it or leave it.

i would consider myself "average" looking, meaning im not an ugo but i aint beyonce either. i don't find myself attracting alot of men and the ones i did attract were horrible. (fat, old, broke, kangs/thugs etc) so i guess i would be an exception to the op's theory.

idk

 

[aribell]

I think that there is often a huge gap between what women think is important and what actually is important. Like many things, the way that women compare themselves against other women has everything to do with women making themselves feel better about themselves than with what is actually true. The same phenomenon is observed in threads about overweight women having SOs and DHs.

Anyway, it's very possible that *some* women who are very beautiful learned to rely on that and didn't develop much more, or they also probably get hit on a lot more by men who view them as a sex target even if they're not into them for anything serious. Very few people actually commit to someone because of their looks; that might be a part of the attraction, but being in a relationship is based on other factors.

 

[deltagyrl]

I think that there is often a huge gap between what women think is important and what actually is important. Like many things, the way that women compare themselves against other women has everything to do with women making themselves feel better about themselves than with what is actually true. The same phenomenon is observed in threads about overweight women having SOs and DHs. Women love to play gatekeeper for other women's romantic possibilities, which is just about making sure the pecking order stays in tact.

Anyway, it's very possible that *some* women who are very beautiful learned to rely on that and didn't develop much more, or they also probably get hit on a lot more by men who view them as a sex target even if they're not into them for anything serious. Very few people actually commit to someone because of their looks; that might be a part of the attraction, but being in a relationship is based on other factors.

Men really aren't as stupid as women make them out to be.
Sure, they can be shallow (at times) but, ime, marriage minded men are pretty clear about what qualities matter most when seeking out a mate for the long haul.

 

[dollface0023]

I've wondered this also...and think it is somewhat bs when people say that just because someone is beautiful this automatically means that they are severly lacking other attributes. Also, Ugly woman aren't automatically mensa members or shoe in's for "Saturday night live".

I've fun across many gorgeous woman (with their *ish together) that can't find or hold on to a man for dear life. I've also known of woman who aren't much to look at and don't have anything else to offer but constantly have a man on their arm.

This is just one of those questions that maybe men themselves can answer.

 

[celiabug]

well from what ive been told, im attractive. but honestly it depends on the place too because where i live now in the south, i get more compliments but when i lived in hawaii i got less. could just be different preferences i suppose but ive never been called ugly or anything but still when i go to the mall or to a concert or to the club i hardly ever get hit on. this one white boy told me i look intimidating and one of my friends told me she thought i was mean because i was a pretty girl but im like super nice lol.

 

[LucieLoo12]

I think sometimes, not all, that some beautiful women are looking for the same level of attractiveness they are and wont settle for less. Like my sister, she is beautiful, and I am not saying that because she is my sister. But she has always been expectionally beautiful, well she is single now too . She was engaged at one point in her life, but she has always been extra hard on guys. She wouldn't talk to them if their ears was too big or if they had a big head.ALL the guys she dated has been very attractive, but losers too. She feel like since she is beautiful she won't give a "decent" looking guy a chance. She has passed up alot of great guys because of that. Now average looking girls may not be that caught up in the looks departments. Dont get me wrong, I am not saying we are dating Shreks, but alot of times if the guy is an overall nice guy you wont typically just turned down an "average" looking guy . This is just an observation.

 

[Kimbosheart]

Avg v. Beautiful is very subjective. Ugly v. Beautiful or even Ugly v. Avg is usually easier to agree on.

 

[Oasis]

i don't like the insinuation that average looking women have great personalities, are great cooks, very smart etc. and above average women are just pretty with nothing else to offer. does that make people feel good about themselves?

anyway, the vast majority of the population is average so it only makes sense.