"If she's not married then she's available"

[jada1111]

This is what a guy said to me yesterday.

He said most of his friends (and him included) believe that if a woman isn't MARRIED, then she's available. He basically said the same thing Steve Harvey and all those other so-called relationship experts have said "If he really loves you, then he'll make you his WIFE."

Mind you, he's WHITE and in his forties.

 

[BlkHoneyLuv2U]

Yep I've heard this before but here its called being an as muchright woman or a an as muchright man. If he/she's single I got as much right to her/him as you do kinda mentality.

 

[Maracujá]

I don't know about this.

 

[jada1111]

Yep I've heard this before but here its called being an as muchright woman or a an as muchright man. If he/she's single I got as much right to her/him as you do kinda mentality.

LOL That's funny.

Well my friend says it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend or longterm partner, as far as their concerned she's "gettable".

 

[butterfly_wings]

Yeah someone said this to me, I was not impressed!!

It depends on the person a how you present yourself, some married people are still 'gettable'!

If you've been dating someone for 2 months and you both view yourselves as committed/not gettable then that's all that matters.

 

[TayMac]

I guess it's kinda true but I respect boundaries.

 

[Ramya]

This is what I go by. I'm single until married. But I also understand that everybody doesn't go by what I believe so I save myself the trouble and just keep it moving.

 

[kurlybella]

hmmm, there is a grey area here. a wo/man dating for a few months and just now falling in love/getting to know each other...as much as i believe that if he wants you he'll make you his, i also don't believe this happens overnight. but i'm talking reg. dating/courting time, not that, "i've had a fiance for 10 years," stuff.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Yeah, I've heard this for years. If she's not married, she's pretty much fair game.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I totally agree with your friend! Women put so much into relationships with men who aren't willing to commit to them. If he's not willing to commit after about a year (and you're both grown, out of school, and with a job) then he's probably hoping for something better to come along or just not really crazy about you. That's my opinion. Men do what we allow them to do, and your friend is right- if she's not married, she's single.

 

[Aviah]

I wonder if this "rule" applies to the said man's long term girlfriend/fiance (if he has/had one)

 

[honeybuni84]

I thought we stopped listening to Steve Harvey for relationship advice?

 

[aribell]

Yeah, I tend to agree.

 

[JustKiya]

I tend to agree.

If more women made it clear that she wasn't off the market until she had a ring on her finger, I betcha more men would be stepping up to solidify their 'good' thing before she bounces.

 

[itismehmmkay]

Someone has told me something about if they file "single" on their taxes, then they're single.

I don't get down like that, but I do know that men tend to pull for you more when they know you have an SO...just listen to these songs talking about pulling somebody else's girl.

 

[jada1111]

I wonder if this "rule" applies to the said man's long term girlfriend/fiance (if he has/had one)

Yep. Even his. It's supposedly up to the "woman" to set the guy straight, then if he doesn't listen then the bf has to step to him to make it more "clear".

LOL! Crazy Long Island white boys!

 

[jada1111]

I thought we stopped listening to Steve Harvey for relationship advice?

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I agree

The 'chase' doesn't end once we're exclusive. You haven't really 'caught' me until you put the ring on my finger.

 

[BlkHoneyLuv2U]

Yep. Even his. It's supposedly up to the "woman" to set the guy straight, then if he doesn't listen then the bf has to step to him to make it more "clear".

LOL! Crazy Long Island white boys!

to comment on the bolded; my grandmother used to say its a man's right/job to ask and a woman's right/job to say no......

 

[nappystorm]

While I don't go after men who have gfs, fiances, or whatever, I have the same mentality.*IMHO* It doesn't count unless he's married (and not even then if he's trife or incarcerated).

 

[nappystorm]

I thought we stopped listening to Steve Harvey for relationship advice?

OT: Why? I think his advice is right on. I couldn't quite get with the "introduce the kids to your man early on" but it made sense after he elaborated.

 

[chokolate miss]

Hmmm, I agree...clearly.

So basically, if a person is not bound to another by legal documentation and/or God others can try and mack on them (couldn't think of a better word).

How exactly does this rule play out? Can she see other people during the relationship with her SO. I mean can she go out on dates and such?

 

[jada1111]

Hmmm, I agree...clearly.

So basically, if a person is not bound to another by legal documentation and/or God others can try and mack on them (couldn't think of a better word).

How exactly does this rule play out? Can she see other people during the relationship with her SO. I mean can she go out on dates and such?

It's literally up to HER what she wants to do. If she loves her man enough to whether she wants a committed thing she could say no, but if they've been bf/gf for awhile with no wedding in sight then why should she deny herself what could be her Mr. Right?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Lots of people think this way. Once DH and I were married he heard lots of comments about being "off the market". Apparently having a girlfriend/boyfriend and even fiancé is not an issue to some people. The relationship is not serious in the minds of some until the person is married.