I saw my ex hugged up with his new boo

[filthyfresh]

I was beginning to think I was the last of a dying breed..LOL!

Girl, me too. I don't do that sex after we breakup. I don't call my exes up crying about how I miss them. I mean I get sad or whatever, but you cry and dry your tears & keep it moving. My SO thinks I'm so mean for not speaking to my exes or the way I break up with people (we were friends before we got together). But I'm like, would you rather I kept in contact with them and were all friendly? He was like... I said, well okay then, hush! LOL.

 

[TCatt86]

The game he is trying to play is no different than what many men do when trying to have their cake and eat it too. Im just not sure why you held on to hopes that things would work out when you knew he was sleeping with this chick and lying to you about it.

Nonetheless, glad you peeped game and are moving on. Good luck to you.

No once I found out about the chick I was through. It all happened the same day. I found out about her that morning before work and saw them when I got off. The reason I was so upset was because I went out there to get my thoughts together and I find them there. That's why I was so upset. In hindsight I think they may have been messing, but honestly before that I thought he wasn't messing with anyone. At least that's what he told me But people lie.

 

[TCatt86]

Girl, me too. I don't do that sex after we breakup. I don't call my exes up crying about how I miss them. I mean I get sad or whatever, but you cry and dry your tears & keep it moving. My SO thinks I'm so mean for not speaking to my exes or the way I break up with people (we were friends before we got together). But I'm like, would you rather I kept in contact with them and were all friendly? He was like... I said, well okay then, hush! LOL.

I used to be like that, I don't do friends with exes. I see I should have stuck with what I was doing, but oh well you live and you learn.

 

[Covergirl5906]

I'm the type that when a guy breaks up with me and insists he means it, I cease ALL contact with him. Meaning he doesn't get to spend the night at my house because he's too drunk to drive. I'll put him up in a cab and send him on his way. Meaning I don't return his calls; I erase any messages he leaves on my machine or voicemail without listening to them and I'm not home if he decides to stop by and 'chat'. And if he sees me out in the street I MIGHT say hello and keep on walking, or I'll not speak at all.

If I see him cuddled up next to a new chick, I keep it moving. If he sees me, I don't make eye contact or acknowledge him. I don't go over and start being 'friendly' because I really don't want or need to get to know his new chick better and it just adds salt to the wound, kwim? More importantly, I want to get the message that I'm as done with him as he says he is with me and it doesn't matter who he f**ks, even if I idea of him being with someone else still hurts.

When I see any of his friends and they ask about us, I dismiss the subject and talk about something else, and/or I don't ask about him at all.

And if by chance dude didn't mean it when he said he wanted to break up? We can talk about it....whenever I decide to take some time out of moving with my life to even care.

I don't play.

WELL SAID!!!

 

[Covergirl5906]

your ex sounds trifling. I say good riddance (sp?)

yes you two are no longer together but you broke up TWO WEEKS AGO, of course it's still gonna hurt to see them together, because more than likely he was dealing with her before ya'll ended things.

I would ignore all his texts and calls.

And she wants to fight you? Are ya'll in high school or something? Please. She needs to get a grip. She needs to fight her new man cuz he obviously aint no good.

I TOTALLY AGREE

 

[Whimsy]

Why doesn't she want to fight him?

cuz that would make a lil more sense.

 

[SilentRuby]

I'm the type that when a guy breaks up with me and insists he means it, I cease ALL contact with him. Meaning he doesn't get to spend the night at my house because he's too drunk to drive. I'll put him up in a cab and send him on his way. Meaning I don't return his calls; I erase any messages he leaves on my machine or voicemail without listening to them and I'm not home if he decides to stop by and 'chat'. And if he sees me out in the street I MIGHT say hello and keep on walking, or I'll not speak at all.

If I see him cuddled up next to a new chick, I keep it moving. If he sees me, I don't make eye contact or acknowledge him. I don't go over and start being 'friendly' because I really don't want or need to get to know his new chick better and it just adds salt to the wound, kwim? More importantly, I want to get the message that I'm as done with him as he says he is with me and it doesn't matter who he f**ks, even if I idea of him being with someone else still hurts.

When I see any of his friends and they ask about us, I dismiss the subject and talk about something else, and/or I don't ask about him at all.

And if by chance dude didn't mean it when he said he wanted to break up? We can talk about it....whenever I decide to take some time out of moving with my life to even care.

Love this part!

I don't play.

This is me to the TEE!!! Always been called and been known to be a cold-hearted ***** (when it comes to things like that, I pretty much don't know you after the fact) I figure that's what you get when you **** up.. They always try to come back...ALWAYS!!

 

[Reslnt1]

Yes, you were wrong to walk over there....you knew from the messages that he had someone else and common sense told you that this was her. You knew that you didnt like the fact that he had moved on so why get up close and personal???....

The man has very right to be dating and sleeping with someone else anytime after your relationship has ended, there's no specific time delay in when someone should move on to another

You said that he was drunk when he said those things so why would you take him seriously.....

and how was he disrespecting you by being with his new woman???
You might have ruined his date....but its still bothering you, while he on the other hand is uhhhhh...doing his thing.....

 

[LBoogie]

I don't know why I'm writing this I guess just to vent. My ex and I recently broke up. Like two weeks ago. Well Sunday he spent the night at my house because he was too drunk to drive home, no we did not have sex. He hasn't touched me since we broke up. Something in my spirit told me to look through his text, which I thought I would never do. I found out he started having sex with someone else. I mean I know we aren't together, but that hurt me to the core just because it was so fast. Anyway, when I get off work I go home and change then head out to get a daiquiri and something in my heart told me to not go home but go on the riverfront. Earlier that day he told me that she wanted to talk, so low and behold I see him and her laying on a damn blanket all comfy cozy. I bugged out, I didn't know what to do, I had gone out there to clear my head and work through him moving on so fast and here he is with the chick. Well me being me, I go over there to be "friendly" and say hey. When he saw me coming he got up quick and stopped me before I got to where they were sitting. We got in a little fuss nothing major and I told him to come get the rest of his ish. Now he's telling me I caused drama and the chick wants to fight me.

My question is was I wrong for walking over there? And what would you ladies have done in the situation? I know we were broken up, but I just couldn't let him disrespect me like that by laying on some chick in my face after we broke up only two weeks ago and after he was at my house talking about how he loved me and how I was so good to him., and yes he knew I was there and didn't change his positioning. And this negro had the nerve to send me a text talking about Good Morning Boo. Umm no TCatt don't get down like that no more.

Honestly i don't care, because he ruined my day and I got to ruin his little date.

Hoe snap!!!

Waaaiiit, I got a text from an ex sunday at 2am asking if he could crash at MY place. lmao

I dont live there anymore and have moved on and am getting married in MAY.

Too Ironic, and you're in the DC area??

Im sending you a PM. lmao

If we're talking about the same guy...HE DID YOU A FAVOR!!!

 

[TCatt86]

Yes, you were wrong to walk over there....you knew from the messages that he had someone else and common sense told you that this was her. You knew that you didnt like the fact that he had moved on so why get up close and personal???....

The man has very right to be dating and sleeping with someone else anytime after your relationship has ended, there's no specific time delay in when someone should move on to another

You said that he was drunk when he said those things so why would you take him seriously.....

and how was he disrespecting you by being with his new woman???
You might have ruined his date....but its still bothering you, while he on the other hand is uhhhhh...doing his thing.....

He sure does have every right to move on and sleep with someone else, but he shouldn't lie about it. And whether he did his thing later or not is his business. But I'm sorry that day I wasn't going to see him hugged up with a chick and not approach him. Had I known about her prior to that day, I wouldn't have been bothered. I know I'm going to see them together at least twice this week and it's whatever. He and his new boo aren't going to stop my fun.
ETA: I have decided to empower myself per the women's empowerment challenge, so I will be finding new places to go out. I will avoid places I know he goes, just to have a real clean break. At least for now, when summer hits, I like to be up in this spot so it may change.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Girl, me too. I don't do that sex after we breakup. I don't call my exes up crying about how I miss them. I mean I get sad or whatever, but you cry and dry your tears & keep it moving. My SO thinks I'm so mean for not speaking to my exes or the way I break up with people (we were friends before we got together). But I'm like, would you rather I kept in contact with them and were all friendly? He was like... I said, well okay then, hush! LOL.

Ugh! ITA! I'm so over the "Let's be friends" mess. If you did me dirty in a relationship, then NO, we are not about to be friends or anything else. No, I don't wanna have coffee with you, and I don't want you forwarding me emails or calling me to "catch up". SCRAM! I have enough friends without adding lackluster men to the stable. They kill me with that!

OP, I can understand where you're coming from, but I think this should be sobering for you. You're not going to be back with him and this is confirmation of why you shouldn't. I wouldn't waste another minute thinking about the situation. It's time to shift the focus to you and your future. Besides, like a PP said, they ALWAYS come back...just make sure you're fabulous and happy so he can see just how stupid he was!

 

[AllAboutMoi]

She wants to fight you? What is she 13 years old? Sounds like it is in your best interest for that to be over.

 

[TCatt86]

She wants to fight you? What is she 13 years old? Sounds like it is in your best interest for that to be over.

Yeah I still don't get that. I pose no threat to her because I refuse to talk to him or respond to his text since that day, so hopefully there will be no drama. I'm out of the picture so she should be fine.

 

[sunnydaze]

Yeah I still don't get that. I pose no threat to her because I refuse to talk to him or respond to his text since that day, so hopefully there will be no drama. I'm out of the picture so she should be fine.

Interesting that he had any reason to tell you that at allerplexed..looks like he likes the drama too!

 

[antoine]

I was beginning to think I was the last of a dying breed..LOL!

Not a dying breed...i'm the same way. Sometimes they have to see and feel what it really means to be cut off. A lot of my female friends keep their ex's around for whatever reason and then get their feelings hurt. Most guys dont know what cut off really means and today I find it's just a convenient way of keeping you around for convenience - while keeping you confused and in the "friend zone." You'll also be surprised at how fast you get on with your life this way

 

[sky_blu]

And he was probably dealing with her before you guys broke up!

Sounds like it to me, which is why you were upset when you seen them. Guys move on fast but not that damn fast.

 

[sexyeyes3616]

Well my ex who really dogged me the out is married now and I am assuming happily married. I sure hope I never happen to see him and his wife. I don't know how that would effect me.

 

[SunySydeofLyfe]

You have to be in control of what you are thinking. Your thoughts are your own....If it were me in that situation and almost any (cause I dont think my ish stank) I decide what I want to cloud my mind....for example in that situation I would have thought...that chic aint me and that ***** cant and wont ever be happy cause she aint and cant be me...I wouldnt give a ish if I say they arses running thru a patch of daisys....My mantra is always the same....I REFUSE.....I refuse to think that he doesnt dream about me at night (cause I know I am a good woman, he is the idiot)...I refuse to believe whatever.....

All I am saying is dont drive yourself crazy....control your thoughts.....

 

[TCatt86]

You have to be in control of what you are thinking. Your thoughts are your own....If it were me in that situation and almost any (cause I dont think my ish stank) I decide what I want to cloud my mind....for example in that situation I would have thought...that chic aint me and that ***** cant and wont ever be happy cause she aint and cant be me...I wouldnt give a ish if I say they arses running thru a patch of daisys....My mantra is always the same....I REFUSE.....I refuse to think that he doesnt dream about me at night (cause I know I am a good woman, he is the idiot)...I refuse to believe whatever.....
All I am saying is dont drive yourself crazy....control your thoughts.....

Ok. I feel you!!I was so surprised to see this thread back up. lol!!! Thanks for the advice, I am over it, got a new man and broke up with him since then.

 

[TCatt86]

Well my ex who really dogged me the out is married now and I am assuming happily married. I sure hope I never happen to see him and his wife. I don't know how that would effect me.

Well I saw him once after that at a club with his girlfriend and she looked at me like she wanted to punch me. I just went to the bar got a drink, talked to a couple people and left. It wasn't that big of a deal. If you see your ex with his wife it will probably effect you less than you think. Because I just knew if I saw him out with her again I would run up to him and cuss him out and I didn't.