"I think my boyfriend is gay."
- Thread starter song_of_serenity
- Start date
gabulldawg
Well-Known Member
Not sure how that works, either. Yeah I will leave it alone from now on.
Detroit2Dallas
New Member
who are you?
lol, u pop up out of nowhere to stan? ur a non 
factor but thanks. Go clear out YOUR drawer for your mans manties boo.
Last edited:
who are you?
True, I am probably a non-factor. I post a little, lurk a lot. But you are famous, you have **** all over this board, and your posts are like stink bombs going off in any thread. You are indeed, conspicuous.
MsBoinglicious
Well-Known Member
I can see how she could be confused. Just like that lil poor white girl on 'The Real World Vegas' who found out her roommate/boyfriend did gay p*rn!
She was mad and broke up with him but she still has feelings for him (obviously because when Cooke hooked up/kissed him she freaked out). And they were only in the house for what 1 maybe 2 months. So a 4 year relationship may be hard for her to let go.
But tell her she gone have to Lehhh gooo! Better now than later when she has to explain to the kids why daddy is living with "Uncle Mike" now lol...its not funny but damn! That's messed up!
She was mad and broke up with him but she still has feelings for him (obviously because when Cooke hooked up/kissed him she freaked out). And they were only in the house for what 1 maybe 2 months. So a 4 year relationship may be hard for her to let go.
But tell her she gone have to Lehhh gooo! Better now than later when she has to explain to the kids why daddy is living with "Uncle Mike" now lol...its not funny but damn! That's messed up!
Detroit2Dallas
New Member
I mean your on my behind like I am, so thanks. I'll make a mental note.... maybe you can change your name to ND's #1 Stan and I'll send you a signed photo
Last edited:
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Tell your friend to...
Why does she need to ask questions that she already has answers to? She knows the deal. She "thinks" her boyfriend is gay? Yeah right! She KNOWS he's gay! I hope she doesn't stay for the sake of the 4 years of whatever they had going on.
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
I mean your on my behind like I am, so thanks. I'll make a mental note.... maybe you can change your name to ND's #1 Stan and I'll send you a signed photo
NaturalDetroit,
Here's a photo that may work for ya, except it has "Fan" instead of "Stan", and it has "Sioux" above the "ND"...
Y'all mean to tell me all of y'all in here have never been in a relationship where you have been disillusioned by the person because you loved them and wanted to believe the best possible scenario? Come on now, lets not act new, like everyone goes Angela Bassett when they first find out some news. It took time to get in a relationship and start falling in love, so why should it not take time to get out.
SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
I hope she confronts that m-f'er by asking how many men he's slept with, as someone else suggested.
I recently walked away from a 4 year relationship. It's not that hard. There's a lot more life ahead to live, with someone who is not gay, fully discloses himself, and who really loves you.
I recently walked away from a 4 year relationship. It's not that hard. There's a lot more life ahead to live, with someone who is not gay, fully discloses himself, and who really loves you.
bajandoc86
Lipstick Lover
Just because it was easy for YOU, does NOT mean it will be easy for her. You are 2 totally different people, with different experiences, personalities etc. Thus to say you were able to do it without a backward glance, has no bearing on how she will handle this.
'Tis All.
now why . . .
Now OP, what explanation for all that pr0n does your friend have? Cuz I am pretty good at wrangling alternative scenarios, but this one is a head-scratcher. I mean, how is she justifying this to herself?
Detroit2Dallas
New Member
SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
So what are you saying? The alternative is far better? Her staying with a down-low man who fantasizes about inserting his appendage into another man's anus is a much easier decision?
Leaving is not easy, but considering the consequences, it will not be that hard to move on!
Please.
she does not need to stay, but I need folk to be real. How many of yall have been in 4 year relationships where you just up and left without as much as a text message? The chick was thinking about wedding dresses last Tuesday and now she is faced with this. She does not need to stay, but she should get her ducks in a row before leaving and get some sense of closure.
I am very happy that we do have a lot of Ms. Perfects here who don't have issues like leaving a relationship. I know I'm not one of them, sometimes I hung on unnecessarily. Eventually I learned.
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
Please don't fight, I don't want the thread closed...no matter how "stupid' you think it is, not everything is as easy as it is on the outside looking in.
We haven't spoken today and she's still listed as "in a relationship" with the guy. :/ I won't bring up anything if she's not bringing it to me so...we'll see.
We haven't spoken today and she's still listed as "in a relationship" with the guy. :/ I won't bring up anything if she's not bringing it to me so...we'll see.
HAIRapy
SuperDuper Member
That's pure craziness!! If it were me, I'd have one question "Do you need any trashbags to pack your **** in? He'd be outta my house, pronto. I understand loving someone, but she better learn to love herself more than that closet homo. Every sign imaginable is there, what more do you have to ask? Let me guess, he was holding the gay porn for his boy.... *********
SerenavanderWoodsen
SkinnyMe
Oy vey. That is insane! I can say with 100% assuredness that if I found "evidence" like that I would be running so fast and hard you'd see smoke behind me lol. Well, first I'd be running to a clinic for std testing. I have a serious paranoia about such things. I don't think she needs any more proof than that to be gone. There really can not be much of an explanation other than this man being bi or gay. I would definitely confront him first but I'd be so afraid for my health and just so ashamed.
I certainly hope she isn't pretending she didn't find anything. I'm trying to imagine what a possible explanation could be from his side but there is none except that he is gay...
I certainly hope she isn't pretending she didn't find anything. I'm trying to imagine what a possible explanation could be from his side but there is none except that he is gay...
She should go get tested and get an exit plan together. Once she has her mind made up to leave, then she should tell him why.
I think asking a bunch of questions or following him around will just end up in a confrontation that could cause a lot of stress. And, honestly, does she want to know the answers???? Seeing the gay porn on his computer was probably hard enough emotionally.
As far as the wedding, she does not owe anyone an explanation. Engagements break off all the time and people forget all about it. Also, just my opinion, but she should be careful who else she tells. The more people who know the details, the harder it will be to forget. Encourage her to seek help if she falls into depression after the break-up.
I think asking a bunch of questions or following him around will just end up in a confrontation that could cause a lot of stress. And, honestly, does she want to know the answers???? Seeing the gay porn on his computer was probably hard enough emotionally.
As far as the wedding, she does not owe anyone an explanation. Engagements break off all the time and people forget all about it. Also, just my opinion, but she should be careful who else she tells. The more people who know the details, the harder it will be to forget. Encourage her to seek help if she falls into depression after the break-up.
NOEChic
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
appplecidder
New Member
Omg that man likes penis he is dl and got a boo on the side. chile I don't even watch that muchh gay porn.. I told my homegurl I thought her man was suspect she did not believe me. She say they have to much sex but to me he has to many feminine tendencies not saying straight men can't have feminine actions. I am a gay male and I clocks t
Sent from my MB200 using Long Hair Care Forum App
Sent from my MB200 using Long Hair Care Forum App
NOEChic
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
yeahisaidit
Well-Known Member
*Marks my spot. Oh and thanks NaturalDetroit for saying what I was feeling.
Terry McMillan said that was one of her first signals that her husband was gay. I think she said she found it in the trunk and he claimed that it belonged to a friend & she moved on from it. If your friend confronts the guy about it, he will probably try to explain it away & we as women sometimes believe what we want to believe to keep the fantasy alive. If your friend wants to check it out, it's in the McMillan's divorce pleadings at TheSmokingGun.com
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
I can't witchall today. Why, why, why are we mad at NaturalDetroit? Because, in accordance with the culture of the board, she is well within her rights to laugh (uproariously ) at questions with super-obvious answers. So why, in this case, is it different? Is it because people are scared this might happen to them?
Also, I forgot who said it, my bad, but is this really an "issue" in the black community? Like, for real? This can't be life.
) at questions with super-obvious answers. So why, in this case, is it different? Is it because people are scared this might happen to them? Also, I forgot who said it, my bad, but is this really an "issue" in the black community? Like, for real? This can't be life.
Valerie
Well-Known Member
Are you really not understanding the type of bond that can be created between two people in a long-term committed relationship?erplexed If it's a good relationship it's often hard to forget the person, let alone just pick up and walk away. Low self-esteem or self-worth isn't always the reason why someone has a hard time leaving.
OP already said her friend thought he was the one, thought that they were going to get married and have a future together. How do you go from loving someone and planning your future with him to walking away point blank with no discussion or anything? Then let's not forget the denial. You sound like a crazy person. Have you ever been in a long-term (serious/good) relationship?
And to the bolded I seriously hope you don't, at least not on this board, because the "advice" I give will be just as rude and nonsensical as yours.
At the end of the day, his lifestyle will killl her. How many black women are not dying from their men's lifestyle. Black women have the highest proportion of AIDS, HIV. I'm not saying that in life that we do not have challenges, but why is black women's life is full of drama and this drama will lead to her death. She needs to love herself more, worship God more instead of worshiping this man and God will give her the strength, we can make all the excuses in the world, this man is a walking death and if she continues with him, she will die, she cannot change him, she needs to change herself, love God, herself more and leave him and heal herself and believe that there are better men out there. There is too much talk there is not enough, there is better than that and she needs to learn she deserves better and he is not better, it doesn't matter, how kind he was or is, he is death and she will die if she stays with him.
She needs to ask herself, how much money will she have to spend on her AIDs medication and what happens when her health insurance runs out. It is the 20% 80% again. 20% of your life is worth more than 80%
"I invested four years of my life", she should be thanking Jesus, that she found out before she is married. No man is worth that! and get herself tested. This man is trying to kill her.
Similar threads
