The mom seems to like her...I've never heard her say anything negative.
I Know I Am Not Tripping.
- Thread starter syze6
- Start date
The mom seems to like her...I've never heard her say anything negative.
Farida
Well-Known Member
Was it sent via imessage? Because sometimes you can pull up your phone bill and see if someone sent you a text.
All weird all around.
I hope it’s the girlfriend or a spoofer.
But as for him, anyone can delete a text.
Keep your eyes out because it means the gf is cray. She may be suspicious of your friendship and sent that to test you. To see if you would text back “omg I love you too.”
All weird all around.
I hope it’s the girlfriend or a spoofer.
But as for him, anyone can delete a text.
Keep your eyes out because it means the gf is cray. She may be suspicious of your friendship and sent that to test you. To see if you would text back “omg I love you too.”
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
He was shooting his shot.
It's sad that everyone is immediately honing in on the girlfriend. Just because she may not me friendly with you should not automatically implicate her. Your guy friend may or may not have sent it. People do a lot of things that are not usually in their character.
I'm not sure who may have sent that text, but if something similar like that happens again I would just play dumb. Then asses everyones actions and body language, over a period if time before revealing you know.
For now just leave it alone. I do hope your friendship can get back on track.
I'm not sure who may have sent that text, but if something similar like that happens again I would just play dumb. Then asses everyones actions and body language, over a period if time before revealing you know.
For now just leave it alone. I do hope your friendship can get back on track.
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
It sounds the gf is going to get what she wants if she did it.....which is distance between you too. Lol. Hes feeling awkward and maybe mad you would even think he sent that and you're weirded out.....lol.
He knows he sent that
Probably...it's really hard to believe that someone would take the time to spoof and delete a message. Folks have too much time on their hands. What's crazy is everyone knows my phone goes off. So even he knows that my phone is off at 10 toward bedtime. That's why...I would not understand sending it at that, time if he was expecting a response. Idk....maybe it was some drunk stuff. What's even more crazy is he works the night shift. He was at work when I spoke to him. Anyway...I'll see him at the housewarming!
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ava2
Well-Known Member
Probably...it's really hard to believe that someone would take the time to spoof and delete a message. Folks have too much time on their hands. What's crazy is everyone knows my phone goes off. So even he knows that my phone is off at 10 toward bedtime. That's why...I would not understand sending it at that, time if he was expecting a respond. Idk....maybe it was some drunk stuff. What's even more crazy is he works the night shift. He was at work when I spoke to him. Anyway...I'll see him at the housewarming!
He said I "offended him greatly and made him feel uncomfortable."
This right here, is how I KNOW he sent it.
If he didn't send, he didn't send it. Cool. The conversation should have just naturally moved on like "Is Doug coming to the housewarming?". But for him to go out of his way to show you no text messages left his phone and then to flip it, trying to make you seem like you're the one that is 'off' or crazy for RECEIVING the text messages FROM his number.
Yeah, ok.
I don't know what he's trying to pull.
He said I "offended him greatly and made him feel uncomfortable."
This right here, is how I KNOW he sent it.
If he didn't send, he didn't send it. Cool. The conversation should have just naturally moved on like "Is Doug coming to the housewarming?". But for him to go out of his way to show you no text messages left his phone and then to flip it, trying to make you seem like you're the one that is 'off' or crazy for RECEIVING the text messages FROM his number.
Yeah, ok.
I don't know what he's trying to pull.
He would have done good leaving it in his phone in chalking it up to a mistake or something. Even if it's deleted, that wouldn't stop it from being sent. Yeah...he's tripping but it will pass. Back to normal...we will see.
Reinventing21
Spreading my wings
^^^I wondered that too.
I can see why some say he did it due to his reaction. That reaction would make sense if he sent it to you and was later embarrassed, BUT his reaction wouuld also make sense if he meant it for someone else (assuming he didn't use your name specifically).
However, if he was genuinely shocked at that moment you showed him the text, his mind might have considered his girlfriend, in which case he may not have wanted to admit that just then to you.
Either way, I don't think it is bad you confronted it head on, given how much time you have known him.
I can see why some say he did it due to his reaction. That reaction would make sense if he sent it to you and was later embarrassed, BUT his reaction wouuld also make sense if he meant it for someone else (assuming he didn't use your name specifically).
However, if he was genuinely shocked at that moment you showed him the text, his mind might have considered his girlfriend, in which case he may not have wanted to admit that just then to you.
Either way, I don't think it is bad you confronted it head on, given how much time you have known him.
So my friend called me and he still maintains he did not send it.That in all the years he has never stepped to me in that manner. We are family and always have been and that he has never looked at me other than a sister. He said he was surprised that I didn't believe him, because he has never lied to me in all our years. He wouldn't disrespect my marriage and he hoped that was not conveyed to hubby. He was more upset, because he said I should know that of him. I told him he could have had liquid courage, he replied. "At...work?'. 
He understands why I was adamant it was him, because the text was in my phone, but once I saw it was not in his I kept accusing him. Even though he kept telling me he didn't know where it came from. He can't explain it and says it is very strange. I guess it would be hard to defend yourself against a scenario as this. The evidence makes you less convincing as well.
I didn't want to accuse his girlfriend of anything so, I told him he needs to secure his phone from his invisible twin. He paused, then we cracked some jokes and he asked me what time we were coming to the party. All is good...but I'm wondering if it was the gf , how will she act tomorrow. Whatever the case, I won't give it any energy.
He understands why I was adamant it was him, because the text was in my phone, but once I saw it was not in his I kept accusing him. Even though he kept telling me he didn't know where it came from. He can't explain it and says it is very strange. I guess it would be hard to defend yourself against a scenario as this. The evidence makes you less convincing as well.I didn't want to accuse his girlfriend of anything so, I told him he needs to secure his phone from his invisible twin. He paused, then we cracked some jokes and he asked me what time we were coming to the party. All is good...but I'm wondering if it was the gf , how will she act tomorrow. Whatever the case, I won't give it any energy.
GetHappy2014
Well-Known Member
Yep. Girlfriend.So my friend called me and he still maintains he did not send it.That in all the years he has never stepped to me in that manner. We are family and always have been and that he has never looked at me other than a sister. He said he was surprised that I didn't believe him, because he has never lied to me in all our years. He wouldn't disrespect my marriage and he hoped that was not conveyed to hubby. He was more upset, because he said I should know that of him. I told him he could have had liquid courage, he replied. "At...work?'.
I didn't want to accuse his girlfriend of anything so, I told him he needs to secure his phone from his invisible twin. He paused, then we cracked some jokes and he asked me what time we were coming to the party. All is good...but I'm wondering if it was the gf , how will she act tomorrow. Whatever the case, I won't give it any energy.
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tolly
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't have reassured him I didn't tell DH, I am irritated he implied you shouldn't tell your DH no matter how subtle he hinted at it.
i also wouldn't have confronted him, I would have acted as if I didn't see the text, and he would have had to say something which confirms its him, or if he didn't I wouldn't have brought it up with him at all.
I don't know you or him, but my impression is that he sent the message
i also wouldn't have confronted him, I would have acted as if I didn't see the text, and he would have had to say something which confirms its him, or if he didn't I wouldn't have brought it up with him at all.
I don't know you or him, but my impression is that he sent the message
Reinventing21
Spreading my wings
After considering all possibilities, I am inclined to believe it was def the girlfriend.
While it could have been either of them...
I don't believe a male friend would wait years and years to show any sign of attraction. Unintentional signs, or intentional (staring, weird comments, not wanting to be around your guy etc..).
A random, gushing text with no accompanying change of vibe/behaviour is very odd to me. I think it was most likely the gf for based on the information given.
I don't believe a male friend would wait years and years to show any sign of attraction. Unintentional signs, or intentional (staring, weird comments, not wanting to be around your guy etc..).
A random, gushing text with no accompanying change of vibe/behaviour is very odd to me. I think it was most likely the gf for based on the information given.
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
Sounds to me like no one wants to truly get to the bottom of this situation. No one is asking the hard questions or reviewing phone records. Ya'll are more concerned about sweeping this under the rug to maintain a friendship instead of getting to the truth.
Be careful girl. This can come back to bite you down the line.
Be careful girl. This can come back to bite you down the line.
awhyley
Well-Known Member
Yes they would. Plenty dudes out here living in the friend zone, just waiting to strike.
Pat Mahurr
Pun intended
I’m sure it’s titillating to have a mysterious text in your hands, but looking at all the possible outcomes of “getting to the bottom of it,” nothing benefits OP. If OP doesn’t have the tingles for her friend (and I’m assuming she doesn’t, married and all) then yes, she should sweep it under the rug...
...because forgetting it ever happened is kinda what you’re supposed to do when your lifelong friend has a momentary lapse in judgement (if he sent it)
...because minding your own business is what you’re supposed to do when your friend’s gf goes sinister (if she sent it)
...because there’s really nothing to gain by telling your friend “I know you’re in love with me,” only to reject him and embarrass him
... because if he fesses up and says “yes, I’m in love with you” where does OP go from there?
...because as she said, this matter is taking up “energy” which is better used elsewhere.
IMO, OP should treat this like a misaddressed text from a stranger, kiss her DH, and let it go.
...because forgetting it ever happened is kinda what you’re supposed to do when your lifelong friend has a momentary lapse in judgement (if he sent it)
...because minding your own business is what you’re supposed to do when your friend’s gf goes sinister (if she sent it)
...because there’s really nothing to gain by telling your friend “I know you’re in love with me,” only to reject him and embarrass him
... because if he fesses up and says “yes, I’m in love with you” where does OP go from there?
...because as she said, this matter is taking up “energy” which is better used elsewhere.
IMO, OP should treat this like a misaddressed text from a stranger, kiss her DH, and let it go.
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sunnydaze
Well-Known Member
Ol boy is concerned with feeling uncomfortable, but not concerned with who has him out here looking crazy. I mean OP had visual proof of receiving the text, he ain't concerned with finding out who did this?
He lying, he did it.
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
I get what you are saying. For me...I would want to get to the bottom of it, not for the sensationalism of it all, but so I can act accordingly as a very happily married woman who is very protective of how things appear to my husband.
I would need to know if this friend/play brother needs to be demoted to acquaintance based on the outcome of the text investigation.
brownb83
Well-Known Member
Yep and her DH will be suspicious and or angry if he finds this out and it didn’t come from op. I know I would if the shoe was on the other foot.
I
Theresamonet
Well-Known Member
A girlfriend “going sinister” and involving me, makes it my business. If she’d try to destroy a lifelong friendship just because, who knows what else she’s capable of. I wouldn’t want her around my family.
I’m not saying that I think it was the GF, though. I think it was him.
Yeah I know about the friend zone. I can't have male friends because they usually are attracted.
I have never experienced absolutely no signs for years and years though. For my friends who keep friendzone dudes around - you can always tell they are in love/lust by body language and behaviour. The women don't want to talk about it, but they know its there.
Some women may be dumb, or in denial, but most men are very easy to read IME. I don't know if OP has purposefully ignored any weirdness in the past.
Pat Mahurr
Pun intended
I agree with the bolded. Especially since she has had multiple convos with Brother/Friend about the text w/o her DH’s knowledge. Brother/friend repeatedly denies he sent it. If OP keeps pushing him to admit he sent it, it starts to look like she wants it to be true.
Pat Mahurr
Pun intended
I disagree. Let that grown man handle his girlfriend or his unrequited feelings or whatever is going on.
Theresamonet
Well-Known Member
Where in my statement did I say I’d be dealing with her myself? No, he can handle her. And I wouldn’t want her around my family. Those two ideas don’t clash in my mind.
