I know a secret (Please advise)

[ThickHair]

I know a secret (Please advise) Update 5\22\08

I have this guy who I am friends with and we have been friends for a while. We dated in high school and we are now in out late 30's. I went to a party over his house and ran into his cousin who is dating this girl who I knew in middle school. She didn't recognize more or rather she didn't acknowledge knowing me. His cousin introduced us and all. Problem is (it's a doozy), when were were in 8th grade, she and her 19 year old boyfriend killed her mother. As in stabbed her, rolled her up in a carpet and tried to get rid of the body because her mother didn't want them together. Do I inform my friend to inform his cousin that this woman committed this crime as a teen? I can't just say, "Tell X to stay away from that broad she is crazy". You know I will be labeled a hater.

What is a sista to do???

Needless to say I was shocked and a stomach ache came on all of a sudden and I went outside to get some air. I guess she was released when she was 21 or something. 8th grade you are all of 13 or so.

ETA: She does not go by the same name. She has a new first and last name, but I know it is her because of this scar under her eye. We were in homeroom with each other for 3 years. It is her. CRAZY, I tell ya.

UPDATE: 5\22\08
Well, she told him. They had been dating longer then I was aware. She did remember me. He said he was cool with it since she did it when she was younger and served her time. He said she expresses regret because she doesn't have any immediate family. No siblings and she never knew her father.

He wants to marry her since she was so honest with him and she is expecting their child in 6 months and she is working on getting her other children, yes, I said children returned to her.

My thing is, she didn't have any children in middle school. What the heck did she do after being released that she lost her kids? BTW I don't know how many are in question. He just said her children.

Not trying to call her a ho or anything, but I never realize or saw that he had "Captain Save a Ho" tendencies. Like I said, I was friends with his cousin.

 

[Lucie]

Why do I wish you had a sick, twisted sense of humor but know you are being honest?

Given her past I'd hate for her to find out what you said. Maybe you could send the dude she is a dating, a note from a mailbox not in your immediate area and tell him what you told us.

I know young love is real but how do you go along with a man and kill your mother? WTF?

 

[Kiadodie]

OMG erplexed..that's so crazy. Ummmm...I would stay out of it only cause Lawd knows what she might do to you..you know? That's just so scary. Anyone that can kill their own mother is liable to do ANYTHING.

Why did they let her out so early, cause she was she was under 18 when she committed the murder?? erplexed

 

[GeorginaSparks]

I would do it anonymously

 

[imstush]

I would do it anonymously

see I feel like the "girl" would still have an idea. It wouldn't take brain surgery since she just saw you at the party and now her SO knows.

WOW...damn google should be mandatory prior to entering into a relationship.

 

[Laginappe]

She was 13 and apparently served her time.

What she did was horrific, but the system is supposed to rehab people like her into functioning members of society.

It's not your place to tell.

 

[ThickHair]

Why did they let her out so early, cause she was she was under 18 when she committed the murder?? erplexed

I guess that is why, maybe it was played up as a in the heat of the moment thing or her adult boyfriend influenced her. I did some research online and I found a little blip in our local newspaper and he received life and it said she received 15-20 years but she was tried as a juvenile. So I was in 8th grade in 84, so it has been over 20 years if she served her full sentence.

It's not like I can walk up to her and ask her "So when where you released?".

 

[tarheelgurl]

I would set it so that he finds out seemingly on his own. That's murder. She killed someone. I think he has a right to know. But then again, maybe she has already told him.

 

[discobiscuits]

if the story was in the news, you can get a copy of the article and give it to him (i like the anonymous idea). i'm kinda torn between you should tell and you should stay out of it.

if it were me, i would want to know about the person i'm dealing with and i would be very grateful for a heads up before i became a victim or something.

also, just because she was under 18 does not mean her name is secret. if she was tried as an adult, her name can be announced.

try to find a news article and run it past ur high school friend and let him tell his cousin.

 

[Theo]

I agree with giving the high school article to your friend. He can tell his cousin. And keep your doors locked. erplexed

 

[Honey6928215]

OH BOY! Let's just pray that she doesn't recognize you but I have a feeling that she does. As for telling it, I wouldn't say a word to him directly because your name may slip out and like someone stated there is no need telling what she is capable of. But I would wait a while until things settle then I would suggest your friend's cousin to make Google his bestfriend by checking out this girl.

Don't make it obvious, but casually start a conversation about checking backgrounds of people they are dating. I don't know it may not be a great idea but this is a tough one. But like someone said he probably knows then nine times out of ten they don't.

 

[tilati]

see I feel like the "girl" would still have an idea. It wouldn't take brain surgery since she just saw you at the party and now her SO knows.

WOW...damn google should be mandatory prior to entering into a relationship.

ITA... this whole story is crazy, sorry I have no advice OP

 

[trini_rican]

OMG erplexed..that's so crazy. Ummmm...I would stay out of it only cause Lawd knows what she might do to you..you know? That's just so scary. Anyone that can kill their own mother is liable to do ANYTHING.

Why did they let her out so early, cause she was she was under 18 when she committed the murder?? erplexed

my thoughts exactly! And what if she did know you but didn't acknowledge the fact and then her man switches out and is like - I don't want to date you anymore. You think she won't know why or who influenced the decision. Proceed with caution.

 

[itismehmmkay]

I guess that is why, maybe it was played up as a in the heat of the moment thing or her adult boyfriend influenced her. I did some research online and I found a little blip in our local newspaper and he received life and it said she received 15-20 years but she was tried as a juvenile. So I was in 8th grade in 84, so it has been over 20 years if she served her full sentence.

It's not like I can walk up to her and ask her "So when where you released?".

Damn!
First of all: homegirl did recognize you. Second of all, if she changed her name and other info, a background check may not pick her up (Damn, that **** is scary! ). I think you should at least tell your friend or something

 

[Keen]

I'd stay out of it, especially since you don't know whether she got rehabilitated or if prison got her hard. Wait a few months, maybe things won't work out. By that time she may not guess it was you.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

wow. crazy story. i would make it a point to do research for my own safety and be on the look out.

i'm pretty sure she didn't tell her new boyfriend/friend what happened

 

[weaveadiva]

girl leave it alone!

 

[Duchesse]

That is the craziest ish I have ever heard! erplexed

Sadly, at that age, the mind can do some insane things. A friend of mine, who is still very dear to my heart, went through a very crazy period during the 7th-8th grade..I'm talkin bout bringing a gun to school and plotting a kidnap/rape of another classmate. Now that is obviously crazy, but this was over 10 years ago and she is a completely different person now, a very loveable person.

Because people can and DO change, I wouldn't mention her past to your friend. She did her time, and positively went through some extreme counseling, who knows what went on in her family to make her do such a detestable thing. I'm sure she has her many demons still, and may just be trying to start a new life, bury her past. But then again, i wouldn't want to date someone who killed their parent as an adolescent..i dunno..that is some crazy ish!

 

[janiebaby]

I'd plant the article somewhere and find it with him

 

[ThickHair]

I decided I am going to mind my own business. I just wanted to get folks opinion. Its sounds like a Lifetime movie I swear. If he ends up dead I am going to feel terrible, but I just won't think like that.

If I was raw like that I would have told him and posted her name to this forum, but I hope and pray that she is rehabilitated. Please send a prayer up for him, lord help him if he makes her angry.

 

[Honey6928215]

ThickHair, it seems in situations like this you have to get on your knees and pray to God for his safety.

 

[SisterGirl*]

I have this guy who I am friends with and we have been friends for a while. We dated in high school and we are now in out late 30's. I went to a party over his house and ran into his cousin who is dating this girl who I knew in middle school. She didn't recognize more or rather she didn't acknowledge knowing me. His cousin introduced us and all. Problem is (it's a doozy), when were were in 8th grade, she and her 19 year old boyfriend killed her mother. As in stabbed her, rolled her up in a carpet and tried to get rid of the body because her mother didn't want them together. Do I inform my friend to inform his cousin that this woman committed this crime as a teen? I can't just say, "Tell X to stay away from that broad she is crazy". You know I will be labeled a hater.

What is a sista to do???

Needless to say I was shocked and a stomach ache came on all of a sudden and I went outside to get some air. I guess she was released when she was 21 or something. 8th grade you are all of 13 or so.

ETA: She does not go by the same name. She has a new first and last name, but I know it is her because of this scar under her eye. We were in homeroom with each other for 3 years. It is her. CRAZY, I tell ya.

This didn't happen in NJ did it?

 

[Laginappe]

I decided I am going to mind my own business. I just wanted to get folks opinion. Its ounds like a Lifetime movie I swear. If he ends up dead I am going to feel terrible, but I just won't think like that.

If I was raw like that I would have told him and posted her name to this forum, but I hope and pray that she is rehabilitated. Please send a prayer up for him, lord him if he makes her angry.

Do you react to things now the same way you did when you were 13?

 

[PeopleTalkDaily]

I am glad u decided to mind your business.
She knows who u are so it will come right back to you..

***that's brutal what she did*****

 

[drasgrl]

Yeah I would stay out of it too. Who's to say she hasn't told him already?

 

[Lady Esquire]

OMG. That is some craziness. Wow, she killed her very own mother? Whoa, she is a scary one. If you tell, do it anonymously and wait a few days to take the suspicion off of yourself.

 

[kayte]

I have trouble with something like this being posted for an opinion on a public board......I saw the word ..secret..and regretfully read
through...

I would ask you...if this is real..and I hope it's not....but if it is ...
there must be someone you can trust more than
unknown people on an...internet forum

 

[NeeSee]

Wow!!!!!!!:

 

[ThickHair]

This didn't happen in NJ did it?

No, in PA.

 

[ThickHair]

I have trouble with something like this being posted for an opinion on a public board......I saw the word ..secret..and regretfully read
through...

I would ask you...if this is real..and I hope it's not....but if it is ...
there must be someone you can trust more than
unknown people on an...internet forum

Yes, it is real. I really don't want to get myself into a mess that I shouldn't be involved in. If it was my brother then I would have told him without hesitation, but I am removed from this situation.

I didn't want to bring it up to my friends because that is something very heavy to hold if you know someone. B\C if she is rehabilitated then cool, but I would have messed up someone reputation that wasn't called for. Butting into their business when it really wasn't called for. Since I have matured I have learned to mull things over and go over all the possible outcomes instead of blurting out things without thinking. I wanted to tell my friend but I had no idea how it would turn out, so I have kept it to myself. So I will take another posters advice and turn it over to the Lord.

Sometimes grown ups have to make grown up decisions. I did stuff at 13, none of which resulted in the death of a parent, but I would not want anyone to throw up stuff that happened in 1984 into my face today in 2008. Especially if I have learned and grown from it.

You can choose to believe my story or not, but it is the truth. I have read more far out stuff on this website so, believe me anything is possible and it is not something that happens once every blue moon. Plenty kids are in the news with regards to killing their parent for reasons known or unknown. So if the select make the news think about the one's who don't make the news.