faithVA
Well-Known Member
You need to try talking her into getting some counseling for herself. She may have to have it anyway to get her kids back. I hope so.
bf molested daughter fo 5 years
- Thread starter Ayesha81
- Start date
You need to try talking her into getting some counseling for herself. She may have to have it anyway to get her kids back. I hope so.
KEWLKAT103
Well-Known Member
I would tell it to her straight. She should not be dealing with that man, other than making sure he stays in jail for as long as possible.
I would also make sure that my children know that I stand for them and won't let someone who hurt them anywhere near them or myself ever again.
I can't even imagine what I would do if someone hurt my children like that, but i for sure would not be crying over them and confused as to how to proceed with the relationship.
I would also make sure that my children know that I stand for them and won't let someone who hurt them anywhere near them or myself ever again.
I can't even imagine what I would do if someone hurt my children like that, but i for sure would not be crying over them and confused as to how to proceed with the relationship.
She wants to know why he did it? Why does she need a reason? He's a monster! Any "good" mother would be filled with so much hatred that she should only fill homicidal thoughts about the man. She doesn't need to forget him, she needs to HATE him. She needs to be ANGRY. And she needs to put her kids first. It's not about moving on, it's about having an attitude that would show that she would defend her children from another monster like him!
Focus on the kids and forget about your cousin. She's warped. She's not a good mother. Don't ever let her convince you of that.
Instead call the girls' social worker and work on getting some supervised visits, or see if you can send some letters, cards, and care packages. They have to feel so lost and abandoned right now. Having some contact with family will help him cope with this nightmarish time.
FelaShrine
Well-Known Member
lol @ "wants to know why he did it"
so the sick monster can then say "well she seduced me" and in typical hoodrat fashion, she will end up blaming her daughter instead cos you def KNOW SHE WOULD
Im utterly disgusted.
so the sick monster can then say "well she seduced me" and in typical hoodrat fashion, she will end up blaming her daughter instead cos you def KNOW SHE WOULD
Im utterly disgusted.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
I guess her Dora the Explorer pajamas was too much to resist *eye roll* Just a pervert!
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssss!
Blackmagic
New Member
The worst is when I hear "She was askin' for it"... I can only sit and stare and think how does a child "Ask for it?"
All I can do is restrain myself from stabbing them in the eye with a sharp object...
yardyspice
Well-Known Member
Your cousin has long known or suspected that he was molesting her daughter and still stayed with him until it was brought into the open so anything she does to try to hold on to this rapist isn't surprising.
Blyss_curls
Well-Known Member
Because he's a pedophile. There is absolutely nothing he can say about the crime he committed that will make any sense to her, because he is sick.
Pedophiles (usually) can't be fixed, or loved better. They are (and always will be) attracted to infants, toddlers, children and/or adolescents. Worst case, pedophiles project their desires onto the child, blaming them for the victimization. Again, nothing about this is reasonable--nor will it make any sense.
For your cousin:
excerpt from:
http://www.criminaljustice.ny.gov/nsor/som_mythsandfacts.htm
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DrC
Well-Known Member
There is nothing you can do. Our family and I found out years ago about my cousin (Gail) and her no good baby father (Brian) was having sex with his own daughter (Kaylie).
Brian's daughter is from a previous relationship. The mother wasn't able to take care of her so my cousin took her in. she would always have problems with Kaylie having a bad attitude and wouldn't talk to her. Well, everything got pieced together when Gail came home early from work one day and found her Brian and Kaylie having sex behind the Christams tree on a palette. Kaylie was under the impression that her father is her boyfriend so when Gail was around she would get upset and defensive.
Police and CPS were involved, took Kaylie home to her biological mother, and Brian was taken to jail.
Brian and Gail are still together last I heard.
Brian's daughter is from a previous relationship. The mother wasn't able to take care of her so my cousin took her in. she would always have problems with Kaylie having a bad attitude and wouldn't talk to her. Well, everything got pieced together when Gail came home early from work one day and found her Brian and Kaylie having sex behind the Christams tree on a palette. Kaylie was under the impression that her father is her boyfriend so when Gail was around she would get upset and defensive.
Police and CPS were involved, took Kaylie home to her biological mother, and Brian was taken to jail.
Brian and Gail are still together last I heard.
SimplyBlessed
Well-Known Member
Disgusting that any woman would choose to be with a man that would hurt their child. I don't have kids, but I have been molested and all I can say is all sympathy should be saved for the children involved. The so-called parents who turn a blind-eye and stay with these "Men" should be ashamed of themselves and have no business parenting any children.
Ayesha81
Well-Known Member
LovelyLouboutin
Well-Known Member
OP parents KILL over situations like this. They don't visit the rapist in jail, play jailbird house, and ask why'd you do it.
If you want to be involved in this situation then you need to make sure all her kids are taken away and she never gets them back. Focus on that and the children so that they heal and don't repeat the actions on someone else.
If you want to be involved in this situation then you need to make sure all her kids are taken away and she never gets them back. Focus on that and the children so that they heal and don't repeat the actions on someone else.
LovelyLouboutin
Well-Known Member
She needs to quit trying to understand. Is understanding going to make it better? NO!
Her head is in the wrong place mannnnn.
DrC
Well-Known Member
I agree. Or she could be one of those women who really wasn't aware yet will hold on to a man no matter what.
You never know. I mean no one knew about him having sex with his daughter, so it can be a possibility.
FlowerHair
Reclaiming my time
Why is she even trying to understand this man, he had sex with her child, that's all there is to understand.
I'm 100% sure she'll take him back from what you have written in this thread.
A man I know of had sex with his own daughter for 5 years (from age 2 to 7) along with other girl children in his life. He had an active sex life with his wife AND he went to hookers on the regular. That's what caused the divorce, the wife didn't even know about the pedophilia then. She only knew about the hookers. So a man can have sex with children along with his wife or girlfriend etc. It doesn't have anything to do with his pedophilia.
But he remarried another woman who had a 7 year old daughter (of course) and she stayed with him even though he went to prison for having sex with his daughter. Some women seem to WANT their kids to be molested.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
Your cousin is stuck. That has nothing to do with it. SMHHHH.
Blyss_curls
Well-Known Member
Her "active" sex life w/this man isn't the issue. That's a myth.
She could have had sex w/him all day, every day, it would not have mattered. This is not about normal adult sexual satisfaction. It's about the fact that pedophiles want to rape children.
http://www.stopitnow.org/faq_why_adults_abuse
Blyss_curls
Well-Known Member
Correction to my earlier post, and that of others....
Saying that an adult "had sex with a child" suggests consent. Which is wrong. A child can not consent to sex. Period. A five year old is going to do what an adult tells them to do.
Adults/pedophiles rape children.
Saying that an adult "had sex with a child" suggests consent. Which is wrong. A child can not consent to sex. Period. A five year old is going to do what an adult tells them to do.
Adults/pedophiles rape children.
Blyss_curls
Well-Known Member
More often than not, it happens to the children of women who were also molested as children--who didn't learn (or ever deal with) what happened to them.
These women never processed the rape/molestation. They never sought help, never learned it wasn't their fault. They also do not learn appropriate boundaries. So they don't know how to protect their children (or themselves) from dating predators. They can't pick up on the tell-tale signs of the kind of dudes who are likely to molest their children (predators).
I agree, some people don't have any business parenting any children.
faithVA
Well-Known Member
OP you are too concerned with your cousin. I hope you will be more concerned with the true victim in this situation which is the little girl. Your cousin is the victim of nothing. Everything that happened, happened to the little girl. You seem to be more concerned with your cousin than her daughter. I understand you care for your cousin, but don't let that get in the way of seeing the facts of this situation. Your cousin needs to get counseling and so does her daughter. You may want to do some reading on the subject as well.
LovelyRo
Well-Known Member
Because that's what pedophiles do!!! He's sick and she needs to realize that!!! It angers me that she isn't more focused on her daughter right now! As a mother, I would feel so guilty for putting my child in that situation... My anger and hurt would be directed at myself and my concern would be for my children and their well being! The sicko would no longer exist to me!!!
There is no answer, and no need for her to talk to him or focus on anything more than her kids.
I knew some girl who got molested by her older cousin as a child... the family pretended it never happened & she still hangs out with him. Her kids fathers uncle molested her baby daddy's mother when she was like 12, that family also pretended it never happened. There is no need for that mess.
Someone who molests children does not need to still be included in their family in any kinda way or catered to, or begged for answers.
yardyspice
Well-Known Member
Really? Then why is she visiting the man who raped her baby girl? She should be trying to buy a gun......
yardyspice
Well-Known Member
I think mothers know but choose to ignore it. I say this because children can't keep secrets -- they may not say anything but their body language gives them away every time.
When the police start charging these "mothers" along with their pedophile boyfriends, they will stop turning a blind eye.
PureSilver
Well-Known Member
And this is why if i am blessed with any child/children and i part ways with the father i will never allow another man into my life till that child becomes an adult say after 21. I am willing to take that vow for the sake and health of my child or children. I am too paranoid about those things and i know i would kill that man myself and then ask God for forgiveness because what he did to OP's cousin for so long is just too horrible a crime.
