In love with a Liar.....Need Help

[princessnad]

You should be careful of men who blame the past women in their lives for all their faults. Whether it is true or not, it always sets off red flags for me.

First, his ex-wife cheated. Then the mother of his son "took him" for child support (or whatever the other reasons are that he doesn't take care of his kid). Making excuses and blaming other people is a sign that you don't take responsibility for your actions. He can use this pity party to get you to eventually start feeling sympathy for him and who knows, he may eventually manipulate you into doing all sorts of favors for him/ start taking care of him and being super woman.

All of that may seem like a stretch, but when thinking about your potential mate, it is a serious issue which shouldn't be taken lightly. Beware of character flaws and make sure that you would be able to live with the worst case scenario. If not, get out.

 

[keisha31]

Thank you ladies for your input and support.

I haven't talk to him like I normally do. I have been showing some distance. I wish he would of been honest. He still hasn't seen his son yet. And you're so right if I ended up being pregnant by him. I would probably be in the same boat. My heart reaches out to the women that he put this through. Because I have been in the same shoes with my daughter's father. I will let you know what happens next.

 

[Poohbear]

Okay ladies I just wanted add one more thing. He has his daughter full-time. He was married before and divorced. But I guess the agreement is that he has her full-time. The mother cheated and he divorced her. But he is really good to his daughter. Now does that make you a good father because you take care of one and not the other. I feel that he is not stepping up to plate when it comes to his son.

Keisha, it's making me sad to read your post.

From woman to woman: For your own physical, mental, and emotional safety...

LEAVE THIS BOY ALONE!​

Pray that you break all these unhealthy soul ties with this boy and be free. He has hurt you before he will hurt you again. It doesn't matter if he's there for his son or not. You may say that you love him, but it sounds like you are more infactuated with him for some reason. He doesn't sound like a good friend if he is a liar and if you have to snoop to find out information about him. Stop making excuses for him and his red flags of deceit.

And please take another read at Laginappe's advice.

 

[Afrikaisi]

Hi Keisha

All this advice is not worth a hill of beans. You will do what you want to do. We have all given you sound advice. Your "friend" seems to have way too much going on to start a new relationship (do you really want to deal with more drama in your life). Trust me I have seen this happen to often, you will be hurt. But sometimes we need to learn on our own. I do hope that maybe you will pray on this one and ask God for help to stick to your gut feeling. (Ladies, our gut is always right!)

I know sometimes as women our heart goes out and we want to save the world, but Keisha that is not your job. Your job is to raise your own child, and live as happy as you can. Please try your best to stay away from him. If he calls keep your conversations short and sweet. If he wants to stop by come up with something else to do. Join an organization, start going to the gym. Do anything you can to keep your mind off of him and his excess baggage. HE IS NOT THE ONE, so why waste your time?