I don’t have pretty privilege and that sucks

[qchelle]

Purple font?

not at all. I really do like her!

 

[Shiks]

They also don't think it "should take all of that." (I think thats this girl's problem).

This is the issue. In what other facet of life would this be considered normal??We all need to put some effort in everything.

 

[awhyley]

It's been a year and she's back recapping and doubling down.

 

[naijamerican]

I have mixed feelings about this new video. She raises a lot of excellent points. She articulates a lot of things that I’ve observed. But I’m struggling with her sense of inevitability that things can change for her and her lack of perceived agency in pursuing the type of relationship she wants. It also saddens me that she has so deeply internalized the message that she’s not pretty and appears to be sticking to it — although again, she’s drawing upon a body of evidence that is based on her personal experiences, and I have no right to judge her perspective.

 

[Plushottie]

This video hit me hard and it brought up points many turn a blind eye to because they don’t understand or choose to be ignorant on as they enjoy the accessibility. I don’t think she said she felt she was ugly but the energy met by society pushes such. I’m the stereotypical not pretty by society but I know society isn’t bright always and the status of beauty has been big business for centuries. Men are desired for money and women for their beauty heck as we are on a hair board as hair for women is her glory.
I am though of the notion maybe love or even a fun time isn’t in my cards but will give one more try soon.

 

[MamaBear2012]

I feel bad for her. And I think I've mentioned this before, but her examples always seem really childish to me. And I don't mean that in a snotty way, I mean the way she talks about the women with this privilege, it seems like something a 19 year old would say, not an almost 40 year old. It's always about, "And there are women who are getting flown out to different places," and "Some women get to be in the VIP section of the club," and what she said in this video, "You do get access to those social spaces." It always seems to go back to that. She and I are around the same age. I think her perspective is interesting.

 

[naijamerican]

This video hit me hard and it brought up points many turn a blind eye to because they don’t understand or choose to be ignorant on as they enjoy the accessibility. I don’t think she said she felt she was ugly but the energy met by society pushes such. I’m the stereotypical not pretty by society but I know society isn’t bright always and the status of beauty has been big business for centuries. Men are desired for money and women for their beauty heck as we are on a hair board as hair for women is her glory.
I am though of the notion maybe love or even a fun time isn’t in my cards but will give one more try soon.

@Plushottie, I’m a perfect stranger so please feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt, but the pictures you’ve shared for your profile always make me say, “wow, she is so pretty!” I’m not just saying that to be nice. I mean it sincerely, fully recognizing that we live in a society with a very limited conception of what constitutes external beauty and how easy it is to internalize negative messages. You are beautiful, period. Do not let this raggedy hellscape of a world tell you otherwise. I have hope that love is in the cards for you. I’m not even going to entertain the idea that you’re only meant to have fun times, which is why I jumped straight to love.

I feel bad for her. And I think I've mentioned this before, but her examples always seem really childish to me. And I don't mean that in a snotty way, I mean the way she talks about the women with this privilege, it seems like something a 19 year old would say, not an almost 40 year old. It's always about, "And there are women who are getting flown out to different places," and "Some women get to be in the VIP section of the club," and what she said in this video, "You do get access to those social spaces." It always seems to go back to that. She and I are around the same age. I think her perspective is interesting.

@MamaBear2012, you touched on some of the misgivings that I had that I was struggling to put into words. She is hyper-articulate and aware, but yeah, her examples seemed kind of…immature? Elementary? I think she’s right when she says that conventional beauty opens the door for opportunities to be flewed out. But is she complaining that that opportunity never came to her? I do think she made a good point about getting access to certain social spaces, but this preoccupation with what a perceived lack of beauty can’t get her speaks to some of her priorities. I hope I’m making sense here.

I did feel bad when she said that she’s rarely, if not ever, the plus one or the one that a partner wants to show off to his friends. It’s such a nice feeling when your partner is proud to be seen with you wants to show you off to the world. I would love for her to experience that.

 

[Plushottie]

@Plushottie, I’m a perfect stranger so please feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt, but the pictures you’ve shared for your profile always make me say, “wow, she is so pretty!” I’m not just saying that to be nice. I mean it sincerely, fully recognizing that we live in a society with a very limited conception of what constitutes external beauty and how easy it is to internalize negative messages. You are beautiful, period. Do not let this raggedy hellscape of a world tell you otherwise. I have hope that love is in the cards for you. I’m not even going to entertain the idea that you’re only meant to have fun times, which is why I jumped straight to love.

@MamaBear2012, you touched on some of the misgivings that I had that I was struggling to put into words. She is hyper-articulate and aware, but yeah, her examples seemed kind of…immature? Elementary? I think she’s right when she says that conventional beauty opens the door for opportunities to be flewed out. But is she complaining that that opportunity never came to her? I do think she made a good point about getting access to certain social spaces, but this preoccupation with what a perceived lack of beauty can’t get her speaks to some of her priorities. I hope I’m making sense here.

I did feel bad when she said that she’s rarely, if not ever, the plus one or the one that a partner wants to show off to his friends. It’s such a nice feeling when your partner is proud to be seen with you wants to show you off to the world. I would love for her to experience that.

I thank you for this. This is the thing I have a issue with weight should weigh less but and I mean a huge but I know I’m fine as heck like look at the material lol. Taken years to develop such. The things she called out are simple because that’s all one constantly sees. I got flewed out and was in vip. There’s more to life but I get if you never get to play in those games it hits.
I felt convicted recently on love like I gave up because it hurt to keep getting duds, the heart and ego can only take so much. But I’m going to try again as a video said in another thread you can be the perfect package but at the wrong address

 

[caribeandiva]

I’m a perfect stranger so please feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt, but the pictures you’ve shared for your profile always make me say, “wow, she is so pretty!” I’m not just saying that to be nice. I mean it sincerely, fully recognizing that we live in a society with a very limited conception of what constitutes external beauty and how easy it is to internalize negative messages. You are beautiful, period. Do not let this raggedy hellscape of a world tell you otherwise. I have hope that love is in the cards for you. I’m not even going to entertain the idea that you’re only meant to have fun times, which is why I jumped straight to love.

I second that @Plushottie i always think: “wow, she’s so pretty!” Whenever I see your avatar. Love is DEFINITELY in the cards for you. Sooner than you think probably.

 

[caribeandiva]

I do think she made a good point about getting access to certain social spaces, but this preoccupation with what a perceived lack of beauty can’t get her speaks to some of her priorities. I hope I’m making sense here.

You make perfect sense! She’s so preoccupied with what she thinks she lacks that she doesn’t make the most of what she does have. I really think her biggest problem isn’t her looks but her negativity and personality. If she worked on those AND put more effort into her appearance, she’d be unstoppable.

 

[awhyley]

I'm in agreement with who says that @Plushottie is a hottie! You have beautiful skin and features.

You make perfect sense! She’s so preoccupied with what she thinks she lacks that she doesn’t make the most of what she does have. I really think her biggest problem isn’t her looks but her negativity and personality. If she worked on those AND put more effort into her appearance, she’d be unstoppable.

Back to the vid, this all day!!! She needs to turn her frown upside down. I'm annoyed at how she decided to dress for the video because she clearly didn't highlight any of her best features. She did tons better in this thumbnail for a video she posted today. It's like she did it on pursue, just to justify her stance.

 

[DVAntDany]

*Warning* This is long but I gave it some thought.​

I listened to her first vid while driving home after work yesterday evening. There are things I agree with and others I don't. I don't want to invalidate her experience, but I think she needs to reevaluate her level of pretty privilege. I say this because I've said some of the same things she has said many times in my life, but I wasn't being objective. I'm definitely not the prettiest out there. Also, I will never be a 10, but I do get some of those pretty privilege perks. The problem is she wants level 10 privilege. That takes more than just looks.

I have a feeling she is disregarding any attention from unattractive men. I bet she fails to mention the old man with the missing tooth who opens the door for her all the time. Nor will she mention the awkward guy at the fast food joint that she probably frequents who gives her extra food and condiments. She wants the generous and successful 6 figure earning handsome man to ogle over her without her putting out that same type of BDE. One doesn’t have to care about a man’s personal finances when it come to pretty privilege. We have all witnessed a guy spend his last dime and then borrow from his friends to impress a girl. So who really cares if all you want are the benefits?

Once she started comparing herself to Lori Harvey, I spazzed out. All Steph can see is that Lori is pretty, but she has completely disregarded the fact that Lori has a strategy. Who is to say that Lori consciously knows she has one, but we can see she is following in her mother's footsteps. Lori's mother has taught her well. Stephco doesn't even mention any words of wisdom from her mother but only speaks of her father treating her well. Regardless of all that Stephco has said, she simply doesn't know how to navigate the world of pretty privilege.

For starters, Steph is flawed in her idea of a transactional relationship. I don't think she really knows what a gold digger is. After years of looking into the art of gold digging/leveling up/being a jet set babe, it turns out it is not about some evil woman taking stuff from men in exchange for sex. The goal is for the female to procure as many things of value in exchange for her time and energy spent while not engaging in coitus. Once the female has sex, she can loose her leverage. Supposedly, the female only has sex when she thinks she has been sufficiently paid and willing to cut her losses if things go south. Usually, this leaves the man feeling that he has invested too much to want to easily loose her. This is even a situation that could lead to marriage.

Technically, all relationships are transactional. Its just a matter of what you are giving to get. In situationships, women typically give their time and energy to be paid with sex by a man. Prostitutes provide sex and are paid with money. How can one say that being paid with thing of value in exchange for being arm candy is beneath her? Hmm, I wonder if Lori would agree?

Secondly, Steph doesn't value looking elevated where it counts. We can see she understands the basic concept of why to dress up. So it makes no sense that in her real everyday life, she chooses not to put in the effort. That one time at a restaurant for her bday or when she went out with a friend many moons ago does not increase her odds of looking like a women who cares about her appearance. The illusion of caring make others believe a person cares about the aspects of their lives. Appearing high maintenance can be a good thing. It can weed out men who can't afford or don't believe in going out of their way for women. It's also a numbers game. The more opportunities she has to been seen looking pretty, increases her chances of experiencing pretty privilege in real life. She also needs to expand her venue options. There are so many other places than clubs, bars and restaurants to be seen. Some of them might actually have her being the prettiest there if she is worried about competition.

Lastly, Steph is delusional to think that having pretty privilege is not an option for her. She just doesn't know how to activate hers. Hear me out. That level up advice that can sound like buffoonery has many gems within it. Well, right before Covid, cancer and gluttony entered my life, I decided to try out that "level up" stuff. I had an interest in that type of info for years but never tried my hand at it. So I did a bit of an experiment by engaging in leveling-up type of activity. The results proved to me that "pretty privilege" isn't exclusively an inherent talent/gift but can also be a learned skill.

The Level Up Experiment

My issue at the time was that I only experienced average pretty privilege. I wanted that fantasy level pretty privilege that women who I felt were just as attractive as I am get all of the time. I couldn't understand how they easily had men paying their bills, buying them cars and wanting to provide for women who may or may not want them. I was like what the heck is wrong with me? So I decided to do a social experiment. Who doesn't love a good experiment? I took an amalgamation of various gurus advices and selected two men who had an interest in me and weren't bums. With Guy 1, I played coy games with. With Guy 2, I was completely honest with him. I straight up told him that I had never lived that type of lifestyle and I want to experience it for once.

The experiment started when Guy 1 kept asking me out on a date but it conflicted with my part time side job. The days I worked were his only days available. He was really pressuring me to go out with him. Eventually, I told him the only way I could go on a date with him is if I quit my side job. I went for broke and jokingly asked if he would take care of me if I quit. He asked me how much I made a month doing it. I was honest and said $1000. He told me to go ahead and quit and that he got me. Then I told him I would hold him to his word and we scheduled a date.

Little did he know, I had plans on quitting that job. I felt this weird burnt out feeling and had already found people to replace me. So for the 3 months that I dealt with him, he paid me my money every month. I had so much fun, but I laid that girly act on thick. I applied the rules of training men to treat me in the way I wanted to be treated. It was interesting allowing my self to be a damsel in distress and allowing others to help me. I didn't even have seggs with him yet I got whatever I said I wanted from him within reason. He was so attentive and I had never been treated that way before. BUT I never really let anyone treat me like that because Im more of a get'er done person.

Then Guy 2, I was really chill with. We started hanging out a lot doing platonic stuff as well as going on fancy dates. I had a chance to know him as a real person. He was utterly flawed but nevertheless a good guy. Even though I didn't go into details about Guy 1 with him, I talked about my ideas of leveling up. He said he wanted to contribute and "flewed" me out to go on a trip for one of my friend's bday weekend. This guy saw me dolled up as well as looking like utter crap. I never had seggs with him either.

While we were out together, what surprised me was that the level of treatment from others was based on how I was dressed. When I looked crappy, the wait staff would ask if we were on separate tickets from the jump. When I looked dresser, they would try to make him spend extra and at the end give him the ticket facedown.

After that bdaytrip, the tired/burnt out feeling took over. Later, I would find out that was a symptom of cancer. As of now, I've devolved into a fat slob who lacks any will power nor motivation. I'm saying all of this to let you know that I started experiencing overt pretty privilege when I gave real effort into releasing my unique version of a girly persona. It was still me but with my girly aspects amplified. I noticed that men and women alike treated me much better. I don't know how many times women would tell the cashier that they would pay for my items while I was dressed up. You know how when you are in the drive through at Starbucks and the person in front of you chooses to be nice and pays for your stuff in advance. Imagine having that all the time no matter where you go.

It didn't just come to me through osmosis though. I did put in the effort with looks but also personality and definitely a strategy. I also interacted with more elevated people in more elevated areas. The biggest thing I noticed is that I couldn't be afraid to ask for what I wanted. The worse that could happen was being told no... or a lie. Luckily, men came through for little ol' me. It showed me that I had been interacting with men incorrectly to get the experiences that I wanted.

I could have easily said that Steph was so right if I had not tried it for myself. So for 3 months, I made it my part time job to experience pretty privilege. I took advantage of all opportunities that were given to me. It definitely was work. Its just not in my blood to be that way 24/7 though. I like not given any Fs. Even if it were possible, Im never going to be on Lori Harvey's level. My youth has passed me, but more importantly I lack the resources and counsel. That doesn't mean Im going to die alone and only have bums wanting me to take care of them because I'm not on her level. Best believe, I will be tailoring the info I learned for when I get off my hiatus from life.

Steph is currently in a pity party victim mode. I do not doubt the things she is experiencing are real, but that can be changed. I also do not feel she has given it any real effort. I believe she is misguided in what she thinks it takes to have pretty privilege for someone with her mindset. I do believe it is very much possible for her reach a higher level of treatment from men. I would love for her to document a journey of her trying to achieve pretty privilege and witness as it improves. I would hope she uses advice outside of her own though.

 

[Plushottie]

*Warning* This is long but I gave it some thought.​

I listened to her first vid while driving home after work yesterday evening. There are things I agree with and others I don't. I don't want to invalidate her experience, but I think she needs to reevaluate her level of pretty privilege. I say this because I've said some of the same things she has said many times in my life, but I wasn't being objective. I'm definitely not the prettiest out there. Also, I will never be a 10, but I do get some of those pretty privilege perks. The problem is she wants level 10 privilege. That takes more than just looks.

I have a feeling she is disregarding any attention from unattractive men. I bet she fails to mention the old man with the missing tooth who opens the door for her all the time. Nor will she mention the awkward guy at the fast food joint that she probably frequents who gives her extra food and condiments. She wants the generous and successful 6 figure earning handsome man to ogle over her without her putting out that same type of BDE. One doesn’t have to care about a man’s personal finances when it come to pretty privilege. We have all witnessed a guy spend his last dime and then borrow from his friends to impress a girl. So who really cares if all you want are the benefits?

Once she started comparing herself to Lori Harvey, I spazzed out. All Steph can see is that Lori is pretty, but she has completely disregarded the fact that Lori has a strategy. Who is to say that Lori consciously knows she has one, but we can see she is following in her mother's footsteps. Lori's mother has taught her well. Stephco doesn't even mention any words of wisdom from her mother but only speaks of her father treating her well. Regardless of all that Stephco has said, she simply doesn't know how to navigate the world of pretty privilege.

For starters, Steph is flawed in her idea of a transactional relationship. I don't think she really knows what a gold digger is. After years of looking into the art of gold digging/leveling up/being a jet set babe, it turns out it is not about some evil woman taking stuff from men in exchange for sex. The goal is for the female to procure as many things of value in exchange for her time and energy spent while not engaging in coitus. Once the female has sex, she can loose her leverage. Supposedly, the female only has sex when she thinks she has been sufficiently paid and willing to cut her losses if things go south. Usually, this leaves the man feeling that he has invested too much to want to easily loose her. This is even a situation that could lead to marriage.

Technically, all relationships are transactional. Its just a matter of what you are giving to get. In situationships, women typically give their time and energy to be paid with sex by a man. Prostitutes provide sex and are paid with money. How can one say that being paid with thing of value in exchange for being arm candy is beneath her? Hmm, I wonder if Lori would agree?

Secondly, Steph doesn't value looking elevated where it counts. We can see she understands the basic concept of why to dress up. So it makes no sense that in her real everyday life, she chooses not to put in the effort. That one time at a restaurant for her bday or when she went out with a friend many moons ago does not increase her odds of looking like a women who cares about her appearance. The illusion of caring make others believe a person cares about the aspects of their lives. Appearing high maintenance can be a good thing. It can weed out men who can't afford or don't believe in going out of their way for women. It's also a numbers game. The more opportunities she has to been seen looking pretty, increases her chances of experiencing pretty privilege in real life. She also needs to expand her venue options. There are so many other places than clubs, bars and restaurants to be seen. Some of them might actually have her being the prettiest there if she is worried about competition.

Lastly, Steph is delusional to think that having pretty privilege is not an option for her. She just doesn't know how to activate hers. Hear me out. That level up advice that can sound like buffoonery has many gems within it. Well, right before Covid, cancer and gluttony entered my life, I decided to try out that "level up" stuff. I had an interest in that type of info for years but never tried my hand at it. So I did a bit of an experiment by engaging in leveling-up type of activity. The results proved to me that "pretty privilege" isn't exclusively an inherent talent/gift but can also be a learned skill.

The Level Up Experiment

My issue at the time was that I only experienced average pretty privilege. I wanted that fantasy level pretty privilege that women who I felt were just as attractive as I am get all of the time. I couldn't understand how they easily had men paying their bills, buying them cars and wanting to provide for women who may or may not want them. I was like what the heck is wrong with me? So I decided to do a social experiment. Who doesn't love a good experiment? I took an amalgamation of various gurus advices and selected two men who had an interest in me and weren't bums. With Guy 1, I played coy games with. With Guy 2, I was completely honest with him. I straight up told him that I had never lived that type of lifestyle and I want to experience it for once.

The experiment started when Guy 1 kept asking me out on a date but it conflicted with my part time side job. The days I worked were his only days available. He was really pressuring me to go out with him. Eventually, I told him the only way I could go on a date with him is if I quit my side job. I went for broke and jokingly asked if he would take care of me if I quit. He asked me how much I made a month doing it. I was honest and said $1000. He told me to go ahead and quit and that he got me. Then I told him I would hold him to his word and we scheduled a date.

Little did he know, I had plans on quitting that job. I felt this weird burnt out feeling and had already found people to replace me. So for the 3 months that I dealt with him, he paid me my money every month. I had so much fun, but I laid that girly act on thick. I applied the rules of training men to treat me in the way I wanted to be treated. It was interesting allowing my self to be a damsel in distress and allowing others to help me. I didn't even have seggs with him yet I got whatever I said I wanted from him within reason. He was so attentive and I had never been treated that way before. BUT I never really let anyone treat me like that because Im more of a get'er done person.

Then Guy 2, I was really chill with. We started hanging out a lot doing platonic stuff as well as going on fancy dates. I had a chance to know him as a real person. He was utterly flawed but nevertheless a good guy. Even though I didn't go into details about Guy 1 with him, I talked about my ideas of leveling up. He said he wanted to contribute and "flewed" me out to go on a trip for one of my friend's bday weekend. This guy saw me dolled up as well as looking like utter crap. I never had seggs with him either.

While we were out together, what surprised me was that the level of treatment from others was based on how I was dressed. When I looked crappy, the wait staff would ask if we were on separate tickets from the jump. When I looked dresser, they would try to make him spend extra and at the end give him the ticket facedown.

After that bdaytrip, the tired/burnt out feeling took over. Later, I would find out that was a symptom of cancer. As of now, I've devolved into a fat slob who lacks any will power nor motivation. I'm saying all of this to let you know that I started experiencing overt pretty privilege when I gave real effort into releasing my unique version of a girly persona. It was still me but with my girly aspects amplified. I noticed that men and women alike treated me much better. I don't know how many times women would tell the cashier that they would pay for my items while I was dressed up. You know how when you are in the drive through at Starbucks and the person in front of you chooses to be nice and pays for your stuff in advance. Imagine having that all the time no matter where you go.

It didn't just come to me through osmosis though. I did put in the effort with looks but also personality and definitely a strategy. I also interacted with more elevated people in more elevated areas. The biggest thing I noticed is that I couldn't be afraid to ask for what I wanted. The worse that could happen was being told no... or a lie. Luckily, men came through for little ol' me. It showed me that I had been interacting with men incorrectly to get the experiences that I wanted.

I could have easily said that Steph was so right if I had not tried it for myself. So for 3 months, I made it my part time job to experience pretty privilege. I took advantage of all opportunities that were given to me. It definitely was work. Its just not in my blood to be that way 24/7 though. I like not given any Fs. Even if it were possible, Im never going to be on Lori Harvey's level. My youth has passed me, but more importantly I lack the resources and counsel. That doesn't mean Im going to die alone and only have bums wanting me to take care of them because I'm not on her level. Best believe, I will be tailoring the info I learned for when I get off my hiatus from life.

Steph is currently in a pity party victim mode. I do not doubt the things she is experiencing are real, but that can be changed. I also do not feel she has given it any real effort. I believe she is misguided in what she thinks it takes to have pretty privilege for someone with her mindset. I do believe it is very much possible for her reach a higher level of treatment from men. I would love for her to document a journey of her trying to achieve pretty privilege and witness as it improves. I would hope she uses advice outside of her own though.

This was a post. I have to say please don’t call yourself a fat slob esp if you have cancer. I would love to talk to this girl because I feel the experience maybe valid but there is more. In the update video she brings up the undesirable men ones with no standards so it feels extra gross.
Tapping into one’s beauty isn’t easy esp if you have tried and failed. Being pretty is easy to me yet I know my hurdle. Definitely agree with the more you fix up the better you are treated a sad but reality.

 

[Evolving78]

I'm in agreement with who says that @Plushottie is a hottie! You have beautiful skin and features.



Back to the vid, this all day!!! She needs to turn her frown upside down. I'm annoyed at how she decided to dress for the video because she clearly didn't highlight any of her best features. She did tons better in this thumbnail for a video she posted today. It's like she did it on pursue, just to justify her stance.

View attachment 482657

She is trolling again.

 

[DVAntDany]

This was a post. I have to say please don’t call yourself a fat slob esp if you have cancer. I would love to talk to this girl because I feel the experience maybe valid but there is more. In the update video she brings up the undesirable men ones with no standards so it feels extra gross.
Tapping into one’s beauty isn’t easy esp if you have tried and failed. Being pretty is easy to me yet I know my hurdle. Definitely agree with the more you fix up the better you are treated a sad but reality.

Lol, I’m just calling a spade a spade. I don’t have cancer. I had cancer. I’m not currently weak but instead weak willed. Let’s just say that weird tired feeling never left and it’s driving me crazy.

I didn’t get very far into the second vid posted. Please don’t make me have to watch it. I beg of you. Is she still conflating pretty privilege with finding a “good man” and her lacking in interpersonal skills? What were her thoughts on the “pretty” lady having to screen and advocate for her own self in relationships?

The effort it takes to be seen as beautiful can sometimes seem unnecessarily tedious and almost unnatural. In a way too long post, I was trying to point out that she does not have to reinvent the wheel to figure out how to tap into it. There are playbooks and blueprints laying all over the place. She might as well pick up a manual because she is not mechanically inclined.

 

[Plushottie]

Lol, I’m just calling a spade a spade. I don’t have cancer. I had cancer. I’m not currently weak but instead weak willed. Let’s just say that weird tired feeling never left and it’s driving me crazy.

I didn’t get very far into the second vid posted. Please don’t make me have to watch it. I beg of you. Is she still conflating pretty privilege with finding a “good man” and her lacking in interpersonal skills? What were her thoughts on the “pretty” lady having to screen and advocate for her own self in relationships?

The effort it takes to be seen as beautiful can sometimes seem unnecessarily tedious and almost unnatural. In a way too long post, I was trying to point out that she does not have to reinvent the wheel to figure out how to tap into it. There are playbooks and blueprints laying all over the place. She might as well pick up a manual because she is not mechanically inclined.

I am waking up reading this and the ending made me cackle. It’s a weird thing at times we can adopt beliefs that don’t help us because of experiences that have been horrible and sometimes it compounded with the reality of the world.

I can’t invalidate her experience heck I have been told I shouldn’t have expectations because I’m what isn’t hot by society yet I know I’m cute. It’s knowing what society may think and then what you believe about you. She may meet someone but I feel it will be with regrets.

 

[Kitamita]

*Warning* This is long but I gave it some thought.​

I listened to her first vid while driving home after work yesterday evening. There are things I agree with and others I don't. I don't want to invalidate her experience, but I think she needs to reevaluate her level of pretty privilege. I say this because I've said some of the same things she has said many times in my life, but I wasn't being objective. I'm definitely not the prettiest out there. Also, I will never be a 10, but I do get some of those pretty privilege perks. The problem is she wants level 10 privilege. That takes more than just looks.

I have a feeling she is disregarding any attention from unattractive men. I bet she fails to mention the old man with the missing tooth who opens the door for her all the time. Nor will she mention the awkward guy at the fast food joint that she probably frequents who gives her extra food and condiments. She wants the generous and successful 6 figure earning handsome man to ogle over her without her putting out that same type of BDE. One doesn’t have to care about a man’s personal finances when it come to pretty privilege. We have all witnessed a guy spend his last dime and then borrow from his friends to impress a girl. So who really cares if all you want are the benefits?

Once she started comparing herself to Lori Harvey, I spazzed out. All Steph can see is that Lori is pretty, but she has completely disregarded the fact that Lori has a strategy. Who is to say that Lori consciously knows she has one, but we can see she is following in her mother's footsteps. Lori's mother has taught her well. Stephco doesn't even mention any words of wisdom from her mother but only speaks of her father treating her well. Regardless of all that Stephco has said, she simply doesn't know how to navigate the world of pretty privilege.

For starters, Steph is flawed in her idea of a transactional relationship. I don't think she really knows what a gold digger is. After years of looking into the art of gold digging/leveling up/being a jet set babe, it turns out it is not about some evil woman taking stuff from men in exchange for sex. The goal is for the female to procure as many things of value in exchange for her time and energy spent while not engaging in coitus. Once the female has sex, she can loose her leverage. Supposedly, the female only has sex when she thinks she has been sufficiently paid and willing to cut her losses if things go south. Usually, this leaves the man feeling that he has invested too much to want to easily loose her. This is even a situation that could lead to marriage.

Technically, all relationships are transactional. Its just a matter of what you are giving to get. In situationships, women typically give their time and energy to be paid with sex by a man. Prostitutes provide sex and are paid with money. How can one say that being paid with thing of value in exchange for being arm candy is beneath her? Hmm, I wonder if Lori would agree?

Secondly, Steph doesn't value looking elevated where it counts. We can see she understands the basic concept of why to dress up. So it makes no sense that in her real everyday life, she chooses not to put in the effort. That one time at a restaurant for her bday or when she went out with a friend many moons ago does not increase her odds of looking like a women who cares about her appearance. The illusion of caring make others believe a person cares about the aspects of their lives. Appearing high maintenance can be a good thing. It can weed out men who can't afford or don't believe in going out of their way for women. It's also a numbers game. The more opportunities she has to been seen looking pretty, increases her chances of experiencing pretty privilege in real life. She also needs to expand her venue options. There are so many other places than clubs, bars and restaurants to be seen. Some of them might actually have her being the prettiest there if she is worried about competition.

Lastly, Steph is delusional to think that having pretty privilege is not an option for her. She just doesn't know how to activate hers. Hear me out. That level up advice that can sound like buffoonery has many gems within it. Well, right before Covid, cancer and gluttony entered my life, I decided to try out that "level up" stuff. I had an interest in that type of info for years but never tried my hand at it. So I did a bit of an experiment by engaging in leveling-up type of activity. The results proved to me that "pretty privilege" isn't exclusively an inherent talent/gift but can also be a learned skill.

The Level Up Experiment

My issue at the time was that I only experienced average pretty privilege. I wanted that fantasy level pretty privilege that women who I felt were just as attractive as I am get all of the time. I couldn't understand how they easily had men paying their bills, buying them cars and wanting to provide for women who may or may not want them. I was like what the heck is wrong with me? So I decided to do a social experiment. Who doesn't love a good experiment? I took an amalgamation of various gurus advices and selected two men who had an interest in me and weren't bums. With Guy 1, I played coy games with. With Guy 2, I was completely honest with him. I straight up told him that I had never lived that type of lifestyle and I want to experience it for once.

The experiment started when Guy 1 kept asking me out on a date but it conflicted with my part time side job. The days I worked were his only days available. He was really pressuring me to go out with him. Eventually, I told him the only way I could go on a date with him is if I quit my side job. I went for broke and jokingly asked if he would take care of me if I quit. He asked me how much I made a month doing it. I was honest and said $1000. He told me to go ahead and quit and that he got me. Then I told him I would hold him to his word and we scheduled a date.

Little did he know, I had plans on quitting that job. I felt this weird burnt out feeling and had already found people to replace me. So for the 3 months that I dealt with him, he paid me my money every month. I had so much fun, but I laid that girly act on thick. I applied the rules of training men to treat me in the way I wanted to be treated. It was interesting allowing my self to be a damsel in distress and allowing others to help me. I didn't even have seggs with him yet I got whatever I said I wanted from him within reason. He was so attentive and I had never been treated that way before. BUT I never really let anyone treat me like that because Im more of a get'er done person.

Then Guy 2, I was really chill with. We started hanging out a lot doing platonic stuff as well as going on fancy dates. I had a chance to know him as a real person. He was utterly flawed but nevertheless a good guy. Even though I didn't go into details about Guy 1 with him, I talked about my ideas of leveling up. He said he wanted to contribute and "flewed" me out to go on a trip for one of my friend's bday weekend. This guy saw me dolled up as well as looking like utter crap. I never had seggs with him either.

While we were out together, what surprised me was that the level of treatment from others was based on how I was dressed. When I looked crappy, the wait staff would ask if we were on separate tickets from the jump. When I looked dresser, they would try to make him spend extra and at the end give him the ticket facedown.

After that bdaytrip, the tired/burnt out feeling took over. Later, I would find out that was a symptom of cancer. As of now, I've devolved into a fat slob who lacks any will power nor motivation. I'm saying all of this to let you know that I started experiencing overt pretty privilege when I gave real effort into releasing my unique version of a girly persona. It was still me but with my girly aspects amplified. I noticed that men and women alike treated me much better. I don't know how many times women would tell the cashier that they would pay for my items while I was dressed up. You know how when you are in the drive through at Starbucks and the person in front of you chooses to be nice and pays for your stuff in advance. Imagine having that all the time no matter where you go.

It didn't just come to me through osmosis though. I did put in the effort with looks but also personality and definitely a strategy. I also interacted with more elevated people in more elevated areas. The biggest thing I noticed is that I couldn't be afraid to ask for what I wanted. The worse that could happen was being told no... or a lie. Luckily, men came through for little ol' me. It showed me that I had been interacting with men incorrectly to get the experiences that I wanted.

I could have easily said that Steph was so right if I had not tried it for myself. So for 3 months, I made it my part time job to experience pretty privilege. I took advantage of all opportunities that were given to me. It definitely was work. Its just not in my blood to be that way 24/7 though. I like not given any Fs. Even if it were possible, Im never going to be on Lori Harvey's level. My youth has passed me, but more importantly I lack the resources and counsel. That doesn't mean Im going to die alone and only have bums wanting me to take care of them because I'm not on her level. Best believe, I will be tailoring the info I learned for when I get off my hiatus from life.

Steph is currently in a pity party victim mode. I do not doubt the things she is experiencing are real, but that can be changed. I also do not feel she has given it any real effort. I believe she is misguided in what she thinks it takes to have pretty privilege for someone with her mindset. I do believe it is very much possible for her reach a higher level of treatment from men. I would love for her to document a journey of her trying to achieve pretty privilege and witness as it improves. I would hope she uses advice outside of her own though.

I agree she is focusing too much on her outward appearance. I think she is cute. But charisma plays a huge part in the attraction and the longevity of keeping attention. Thank you for sharing your The Level Up Experiment. It was nice to see how you were able to make it work for you by maybe stepping outside your usual mode of how perceive we should act vs what gets results. Sometimes we have to get out of our own way. Any tips or recs on what helped you would be appreciated.

 

[DVAntDany]

I agree she is focusing too much on her outward appearance. I think she is cute. But charisma plays a huge part in the attraction and the longevity of keeping attention. Thank you for sharing your The Level Up Experiment. It was nice to see how you were able to make it work for you by maybe stepping outside your usual mode of how perceive we should act vs what gets results. Sometimes we have to get out of our own way. Any tips or recs on what helped you would be appreciated.

I'm so F'in long winded, but no stones were left unturned... I think. So I'm going to put this into two parts. Part 1 Is explaining my understanding of the basic mentality that goes into selecting a partner via Leveling Up. Without this foundation, I don't feel any tip I'd give would make sense in the scheme of things. Part 2 shows a hypothetical example of what I mean by doing it from my perspective with tips.

Part 1​

I'm no expert. Lol I just wanted the spoiled girlfriend treatment without anything serious. From what I can tell, you have two ways of approaching it. Way #1 is becoming your best self and seeing what comes your way. This way is like a box of chocolates and you never really know whatcha gonna get. Improve your looks, your attitude or whatever aspects of your life that you want to upgrade. You are sure to get better than what you currently got. Way #2 is tailoring yourself to become what your target wants. This is equivalent to dressing for the job or becoming his fantasy girl. You can always transition from Way#1 into Way#2. It is simply a mental shift.

Way #2 produces the most predictable outcome and gives the highest chances of you getting what you want. A target is equivalent to a goal. So you find a target and reverse engineer what makes it tick. It's similar to having a goal and breaking down the steps that will lead you to achieving it. Everything you do is based on what you want. Way #1 you are the goal. Way #2 the person or persons are your goal. From here, you can tailor as you see fit.

Let's say you choose Way #2. Then it deviates into 2 more branches to consider. Option A. Do you want to attract guys who will mesh well with your current personality and body features? Option B. Do you want to pull out different aspects of your personality and style to fit a particular guy? An example of option A is being a naturally spontaneous and adventurous person. You should go for guys who wants this type of woman. Basically, you are becoming the yin to his yang. Obviously, you would already have a type of guy in mind. Then you could weed out men until you find the guy who is stuck in a routine and maybe bored. You get to be the person who helps him break free from the monotony of his life by being more of yourself. Option B will have you holding back who you are naturally to instead provide him the aspect of your personality that he needs/wants. You are putting on a facade or becoming an actress. This is no different than dressing up to get him and then becoming a bum once you have him. You made him think he was getting a girly girl. You start messing up when you can't keep up with the charades.

All of this can be done intuitively and most people do without any thought to it. You could also do the whole Robert Greene Art of Seduction calculations which is much more complex and sophisticated. Either way, you are focusing on his love language and the voids in his life. Just make it make sense for you.

 

[DVAntDany]

Part 2​

So let's use me as a hypothetic example of doing Way #2 Option A. This means I'm actively finding men who like me as is. They don't have to know that I'm the predator. My target/goal is to have an African American bf who treats me very generously. I want to point out the outcome of that statement would be the same even if I said I want a rando Black guy to give me money and buy big ticket items. It doesn't matter which one I choose. Don't get caught up in semantics.

Now let's look at my negatives vs positives. Let's also pretend I'm back in shape and give a damn about how I look. My flatter than flat butt can be seen as a handicap. Most black men will overlook me even if they think that my face and the rest of my body are cute. My personality is often not stereotypically Black enough either. Then there is the fact that I don't care for being docile or vulnerable. Fortunately, darker Black guys often seem to be obsessed with skin color. They are more so willing to accept the flat butt in order to have a supposed lighter complected female. I could be upset that I'm being perceived as a bootleg "preference" because I'm missing the fine features and white privilege running through my veins. Instead, I have to use that to my advantage. The positives are that I can be outgoing, nonjudgmental and impish. Here is some advice. Don't take what men do or don't like about you personally. Use whatever you have to your advantage. Play off of that.

Say I upgrade my looks in general and highlight my positive physical features. I put myself in places where higher caliber men can see me often. Various men will approach me. Im just dangling bate. I'm not trying to catch the first fish that comes my way. If I want a continuous stream of income or care to not drain a poor bloke, I only look at those who can afford me. I then sift through them to find chocolate ones who think my face can compensate for my lack of a rear.

Out of this lot, I find the ones who like my friendly personality (positive #1). I'm not naturally the va-va-voom seductress. For men outside of the South, they aren't necessarily use to people "speaking" out of manners. If I happen to walk by and we make eye contact, I'm going to smile and say a few pleasantries. I'm going to do it whether its perceived as flirting or not. I can butter it up if I want to by sounding extra sweet, giving direct eye contact and flashing a full smile. This usually cause men to want to engage in a full on conversation vs walk on by. This technically isn't what I consider flirting. I'm a bit more blunt/direct in my approach and a man will have no doubts. I'm just being nice and people aren't use to people simply being nice.

With the next positive, I can make him feel comfortable by my nonjudgmental attitude (positive #2). I don't shame people for their interests. Since I have varied interests, I can speak a little something on most subjects. If not, I love to learn. This can give him the illusion that he is speaking with a kindred spirit or an opportunity to show off his expertise.

I also have to test out how much of myself I can be as well as if he is telling me the truth. Lets say the dude says he is a veterinarian. Somewhere along our discussion, the subject matter shifts from real horses to iron horses. Maybe I make a punny joke saying," Oh so you are a doctor of everything now, Mr. Ferroequinologist?" If it goes over his head that I'm jokingly calling him a train doctor, then I have to question if he is lying to me about his profession. There is a certain knowledge I'd expect from a doctor (i.e. latin) in comparison to a pulpwood contractor. If the joke lands, he might divulge that he has always loved trains since he was a kid. He might even tell me he has a model train set and can never find the time to work on it. I can't afford to make it look like I think his interest is antiquated or boring. This testing is necessary because some men lie. They pretend to be what they aren't and to know what they don't. I also have an option to play up or down my smarts. I'm trying to be myself. Why fake being a ditz?

In this judge-free relationship, I continue to work with my positives. I allow him to embrace his naughty side (positive#3) by doing something he doesn't get in his regular life. That something could be extreme or minor. So in my hypothetical case, I'd encourage him to play hooky later on. We've been on a couple dates and this time I'm the one treating. I'm going to make him make time for trains —his unfulfilled hobby while also having a fun experience with me. Railroad museum it is. I could easily start having him associating me with guilty pleasures like that Pavloanian dog experiment. It costs me nothing to go to a train museum, but it makes me look thoughtful and invested.

The ride doesn't stop here. Pun intended. At some point early on, I have to put him in positions where he can show me that he is generous. A meal isn't it. I can make him think it is his idea or outright ask for it. However, I can't demand it nor beg for it. I don't have to be conning, but it helps. I personally don't like lying but I’ll shut my mouth if need be. In real life it’s easier to choose people I know without a doubt like me. It's not hard to get what you want from someone who wants you.

So lets get back to the hypothetical date. This is where the sly level up stuff can come into play. It is up to you if you care about ethics. This is one way to test how generous he is if hasnt I could conveniently "loose" a pair of earring or sunglasses on the train. I'd just go to the bathroom, take off one of my earrings and say that it went missing or do something more elaborate. I could say I lost a pair of Tiffany earrings and they were gifted to me by my now dead grandmother. There is no way he is every going to find my "lost" earring no matter how hard he tries. LOL If he has the cash and is generous, he should feel compelled to replace the item for me. I wouldn't expect a regular degular him to replace $2000 earrings on the spot. I'd use lower priced ones like $300 and under. So I could have spent $40 on the date but end with $260 more. More importantly, I found out that he is a generous.

If he is generous, the style in which he pays you is up to him. Some guys will give you the cash to replace it. Others might ask you to pull up the website on your phone and pay for you on the spot to replace it. The nearest Tiffany & Co is 3 to 4 hrs away from me. There is no going to the store. He might even get it himself on his own time. Quite a few of those level up women return gifts for cash or get store credit to later get things they can resell. These women also invest the cash back into the game.

If he is not a white knight who rescues a damsel in distress, I only invested $40. This is the vetting you do from the beginning whether you choose an actual relationship or not. He has to show generosity from the beginning. The game will tell you to drop him no matter how nice he is. Remember my goal/target was a generous man and I can't forget that.

It either you or its him. If its you, It's hard to break first impression if he didn't think you were worth it. Sadly, men choose to be chivalrous to women they think deserve it. For example, we can delusionally excuse Black men for not opening doors for random women. We can say they just didn't learn manners growing up in a single parent home with no man around. Nope, that same type of man will run and break his neck to open a door for a woman if her looks are desirable to him. If it its him, its hard to teach an old dog new tricks. You also don't know what is going on with his finances. Whatever the reason may be is not your problem. Move on. If you are that concerned, then figure out what he wants and become it.

See, looks are just the price of admission aka bait. I would still have to provide something else to reel him in. Because I'm providing him something he can't normally do for whatever circumstances, he is willing to pay the price. This is why he is not paying for vagina. He is simply paying for a service that's attached to a vagina. That service could be anything like quality time or a pretty chic on his arm.

There is an additional way of doing this too. If you aren't providing for a current need, you can create a need. I don't like this character nor movie but Nikki in the movie I Think I Love My Wife created a need. She put doubt in his head and made him think he was missing out on something. She then marketed herself as a solution for his new problem that she created.

There are a few other caveats. You can’t go backwards. You must demand he give the same respect that he gave you from the beginning. If he opened your car door and pulled out your chair the first time, don’t ever let him stop. Train him to know it’s not reserved for only special occasions. If you are always punctual, don’t accept his tardiness. Leave when you said you would. Don’t wait. You’ll soon find out that he will make an effort to be on time for you even if he is late with everybody else. Reward good behavior only.

Also, don’t let stuff slide. Be firm in your standards. If his card door accidentally hits your vehicles and puts the tiniest little almost invisible scratch, don’t shrug it off. Make it an issue. File that insurance claim or hand him that estimate. If he accidentally spills wine on your blouse, make him pay for dry cleaning. You have to also be willing to walk away and mean it.

If you follow the level up teachings, you'll soon find out its work. I'm not saying that most of the stuff is finessing or mental gymnastics, but its choosing your words and actions carefully. Maybe at some point it becomes second nature, but I didn't do it long enough to find out. You'll also find that each man is different and you have to act accordingly. The biggest thing they don't tell is that you have to look at the long game. You probably aren't going to get more than a full stomach and full gas tank at your first meeting. It is what it is.

Also, don't forget this is everything being filtered through my brain about info from a few years back. You may interpret the level up teachings completely differently. Most importantly, I learned that it is easy to get lost in the sauce if you don't have a goal to focus on. However, that doesn't mean you can't love him too. It is all in your head whether you choose to think you are in a romantically hypergamous relationship or think you harpooned yourself a whale. I hope this made sense for you.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I feel bad for her. And I think I've mentioned this before, but her examples always seem really childish to me. And I don't mean that in a snotty way, I mean the way she talks about the women with this privilege, it seems like something a 19 year old would say, not an almost 40 year old. It's always about, "And there are women who are getting flown out to different places," and "Some women get to be in the VIP section of the club," and what she said in this video, "You do get access to those social spaces." It always seems to go back to that. She and I are around the same age. I think her perspective is interesting.

As soon as she realizes that the bolded doesn't mean you've hit some jackpot or "level.....

I know of women who get "flewed out" and what they have to do sometimes in exchange is not for the weak. Some don't have to exchange anything---but who determined getting access to certain spaces means you've hit some hierarchy in life? Most black women (pretty or otherwise and in between) are flying themselves out, finding their own happiness. I've been married 15 years and I still have to determine, carve out, define and seek to attain my own happiness. It didn't come as soon as I signed my marriage license or when we had kids. Its something I set out to find INTENTIONALLY. Not through my partner or my children or friends.

There is a sadness about her that rings true for me when I meet people who will get more and more things in life and will never ever fill that hole. Utter sadness for her is all I feel. My mother is one. So trust me, there are millions out there like her who just don't have a platform.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

You make perfect sense! She’s so preoccupied with what she thinks she lacks that she doesn’t make the most of what she does have. I really think her biggest problem isn’t her looks but her negativity and personality. If she worked on those AND put more effort into her appearance, she’d be unstoppable.

My oldest is almost 9, and I'm teaching her this NOW.
Cause focusing on this for 30-40 years of your life changes your brain chemistry and its hard to pull back and unlearn these things once you're her age.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

*Warning* This is long but I gave it some thought.​

I listened to her first vid while driving home after work yesterday evening. There are things I agree with and others I don't. I don't want to invalidate her experience, but I think she needs to reevaluate her level of pretty privilege. I say this because I've said some of the same things she has said many times in my life, but I wasn't being objective. I'm definitely not the prettiest out there. Also, I will never be a 10, but I do get some of those pretty privilege perks. The problem is she wants level 10 privilege. That takes more than just looks.

I have a feeling she is disregarding any attention from unattractive men. I bet she fails to mention the old man with the missing tooth who opens the door for her all the time. Nor will she mention the awkward guy at the fast food joint that she probably frequents who gives her extra food and condiments. She wants the generous and successful 6 figure earning handsome man to ogle over her without her putting out that same type of BDE. One doesn’t have to care about a man’s personal finances when it come to pretty privilege. We have all witnessed a guy spend his last dime and then borrow from his friends to impress a girl. So who really cares if all you want are the benefits?

Once she started comparing herself to Lori Harvey, I spazzed out. All Steph can see is that Lori is pretty, but she has completely disregarded the fact that Lori has a strategy. Who is to say that Lori consciously knows she has one, but we can see she is following in her mother's footsteps. Lori's mother has taught her well. Stephco doesn't even mention any words of wisdom from her mother but only speaks of her father treating her well. Regardless of all that Stephco has said, she simply doesn't know how to navigate the world of pretty privilege.

For starters, Steph is flawed in her idea of a transactional relationship. I don't think she really knows what a gold digger is. After years of looking into the art of gold digging/leveling up/being a jet set babe, it turns out it is not about some evil woman taking stuff from men in exchange for sex. The goal is for the female to procure as many things of value in exchange for her time and energy spent while not engaging in coitus. Once the female has sex, she can loose her leverage. Supposedly, the female only has sex when she thinks she has been sufficiently paid and willing to cut her losses if things go south. Usually, this leaves the man feeling that he has invested too much to want to easily loose her. This is even a situation that could lead to marriage.

Technically, all relationships are transactional. Its just a matter of what you are giving to get. In situationships, women typically give their time and energy to be paid with sex by a man. Prostitutes provide sex and are paid with money. How can one say that being paid with thing of value in exchange for being arm candy is beneath her? Hmm, I wonder if Lori would agree?

Secondly, Steph doesn't value looking elevated where it counts. We can see she understands the basic concept of why to dress up. So it makes no sense that in her real everyday life, she chooses not to put in the effort. That one time at a restaurant for her bday or when she went out with a friend many moons ago does not increase her odds of looking like a women who cares about her appearance. The illusion of caring make others believe a person cares about the aspects of their lives. Appearing high maintenance can be a good thing. It can weed out men who can't afford or don't believe in going out of their way for women. It's also a numbers game. The more opportunities she has to been seen looking pretty, increases her chances of experiencing pretty privilege in real life. She also needs to expand her venue options. There are so many other places than clubs, bars and restaurants to be seen. Some of them might actually have her being the prettiest there if she is worried about competition.

Lastly, Steph is delusional to think that having pretty privilege is not an option for her. She just doesn't know how to activate hers. Hear me out. That level up advice that can sound like buffoonery has many gems within it. Well, right before Covid, cancer and gluttony entered my life, I decided to try out that "level up" stuff. I had an interest in that type of info for years but never tried my hand at it. So I did a bit of an experiment by engaging in leveling-up type of activity. The results proved to me that "pretty privilege" isn't exclusively an inherent talent/gift but can also be a learned skill.

The Level Up Experiment

My issue at the time was that I only experienced average pretty privilege. I wanted that fantasy level pretty privilege that women who I felt were just as attractive as I am get all of the time. I couldn't understand how they easily had men paying their bills, buying them cars and wanting to provide for women who may or may not want them. I was like what the heck is wrong with me? So I decided to do a social experiment. Who doesn't love a good experiment? I took an amalgamation of various gurus advices and selected two men who had an interest in me and weren't bums. With Guy 1, I played coy games with. With Guy 2, I was completely honest with him. I straight up told him that I had never lived that type of lifestyle and I want to experience it for once.

The experiment started when Guy 1 kept asking me out on a date but it conflicted with my part time side job. The days I worked were his only days available. He was really pressuring me to go out with him. Eventually, I told him the only way I could go on a date with him is if I quit my side job. I went for broke and jokingly asked if he would take care of me if I quit. He asked me how much I made a month doing it. I was honest and said $1000. He told me to go ahead and quit and that he got me. Then I told him I would hold him to his word and we scheduled a date.

Little did he know, I had plans on quitting that job. I felt this weird burnt out feeling and had already found people to replace me. So for the 3 months that I dealt with him, he paid me my money every month. I had so much fun, but I laid that girly act on thick. I applied the rules of training men to treat me in the way I wanted to be treated. It was interesting allowing my self to be a damsel in distress and allowing others to help me. I didn't even have seggs with him yet I got whatever I said I wanted from him within reason. He was so attentive and I had never been treated that way before. BUT I never really let anyone treat me like that because Im more of a get'er done person.

Then Guy 2, I was really chill with. We started hanging out a lot doing platonic stuff as well as going on fancy dates. I had a chance to know him as a real person. He was utterly flawed but nevertheless a good guy. Even though I didn't go into details about Guy 1 with him, I talked about my ideas of leveling up. He said he wanted to contribute and "flewed" me out to go on a trip for one of my friend's bday weekend. This guy saw me dolled up as well as looking like utter crap. I never had seggs with him either.

While we were out together, what surprised me was that the level of treatment from others was based on how I was dressed. When I looked crappy, the wait staff would ask if we were on separate tickets from the jump. When I looked dresser, they would try to make him spend extra and at the end give him the ticket facedown.

After that bdaytrip, the tired/burnt out feeling took over. Later, I would find out that was a symptom of cancer. As of now, I've devolved into a fat slob who lacks any will power nor motivation. I'm saying all of this to let you know that I started experiencing overt pretty privilege when I gave real effort into releasing my unique version of a girly persona. It was still me but with my girly aspects amplified. I noticed that men and women alike treated me much better. I don't know how many times women would tell the cashier that they would pay for my items while I was dressed up. You know how when you are in the drive through at Starbucks and the person in front of you chooses to be nice and pays for your stuff in advance. Imagine having that all the time no matter where you go.

It didn't just come to me through osmosis though. I did put in the effort with looks but also personality and definitely a strategy. I also interacted with more elevated people in more elevated areas. The biggest thing I noticed is that I couldn't be afraid to ask for what I wanted. The worse that could happen was being told no... or a lie. Luckily, men came through for little ol' me. It showed me that I had been interacting with men incorrectly to get the experiences that I wanted.

I could have easily said that Steph was so right if I had not tried it for myself. So for 3 months, I made it my part time job to experience pretty privilege. I took advantage of all opportunities that were given to me. It definitely was work. Its just not in my blood to be that way 24/7 though. I like not given any Fs. Even if it were possible, Im never going to be on Lori Harvey's level. My youth has passed me, but more importantly I lack the resources and counsel. That doesn't mean Im going to die alone and only have bums wanting me to take care of them because I'm not on her level. Best believe, I will be tailoring the info I learned for when I get off my hiatus from life.

Steph is currently in a pity party victim mode. I do not doubt the things she is experiencing are real, but that can be changed. I also do not feel she has given it any real effort. I believe she is misguided in what she thinks it takes to have pretty privilege for someone with her mindset. I do believe it is very much possible for her reach a higher level of treatment from men. I would love for her to document a journey of her trying to achieve pretty privilege and witness as it improves. I would hope she uses advice outside of her own though.

What a great and thoughtful post.

I think Steph feels like she shouldn't HAVE to do all of that to be accepted by others. So there is a disconnect IMO. She wants access but doesn't want to do the work on herself, for herself at a minimum. She to me, falls into the camp of women who feel like their personality and intellect should be enough. For many men, it is. I don't think that's the kind of man she wants to chase her though. So again, there is a huge disconnect.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Lol, I’m just calling a spade a spade. I don’t have cancer. I had cancer. I’m not currently weak but instead weak willed. Let’s just say that weird tired feeling never left and it’s driving me crazy.

I didn’t get very far into the second vid posted. Please don’t make me have to watch it. I beg of you. Is she still conflating pretty privilege with finding a “good man” and her lacking in interpersonal skills? What were her thoughts on the “pretty” lady having to screen and advocate for her own self in relationships?

The effort it takes to be seen as beautiful can sometimes seem unnecessarily tedious and almost unnatural. In a way too long post, I was trying to point out that she does not have to reinvent the wheel to figure out how to tap into it. There are playbooks and blueprints laying all over the place. She might as well pick up a manual because she is not mechanically inclined.

Bingo.

 

[ckisland]

What a great and thoughtful post.

I think Steph feels like she shouldn't HAVE to do all of that to be accepted by others. So there is a disconnect IMO. She wants access but doesn't want to do the work on herself, for herself at a minimum. She to me, falls into the camp of women who feel like their personality and intellect should be enough. For many men, it is. I don't think that's the kind of man she wants to chase her though. So again, there is a huge disconnect.

This all day!! She wants to live on a pedestal but she doesn't want to do what it takes to get there. She has this incorrect impression that other women aren't putting in work to get that "access." They don't work to keep their bodies tight and their faces beat and their clothes fitting just right. They come out of the womb fully assembled LOL!!

 

[awhyley]

Part 2​

The ride doesn't stop here. Pun intended. At some point early on, I have to put him in positions where he can show me that he is generous. A meal isn't it. I can make him think it is his idea or outright ask for it. However, I can't demand it nor beg for it. I don't have to be conning, but it helps. I personally don't like lying but I’ll shut my mouth if need be. In real life it’s easier to choose people I know without a doubt like me. It's not hard to get what you want from someone who wants you.

So lets get back to the hypothetical date. This is where the sly level up stuff can come into play. It is up to you if you care about ethics. This is one way to test how generous he is if hasnt I could conveniently "loose" a pair of earring or sunglasses on the train. I'd just go to the bathroom, take off one of my earrings and say that it went missing or do something more elaborate. I could say I lost a pair of Tiffany earrings and they were gifted to me by my now dead grandmother. There is no way he is every going to find my "lost" earring no matter how hard he tries. LOL If he has the cash and is generous, he should feel compelled to replace the item for me. I wouldn't expect a regular degular him to replace $2000 earrings on the spot. I'd use lower priced ones like $300 and under. So I could have spent $40 on the date but end with $260 more. More importantly, I found out that he is a generous.

If he is generous, the style in which he pays you is up to him. Some guys will give you the cash to replace it. Others might ask you to pull up the website on your phone and pay for you on the spot to replace it. The nearest Tiffany & Co is 3 to 4 hrs away from me. There is no going to the store. He might even get it himself on his own time. Quite a few of those level up women return gifts for cash or get store credit to later get things they can resell. These women also invest the cash back into the game.

If he is not a white knight who rescues a damsel in distress, I only invested $40. This is the vetting you do from the beginning whether you choose an actual relationship or not. He has to show generosity from the beginning. The game will tell you to drop him no matter how nice he is. Remember my goal/target was a generous man and I can't forget that.

@DVAntDany, much thanks for the amazing tips. Although there are tons of nuggets in here, but I wanted to quote this, because even if generousity isn't the goal, this should be noted by all women who want/need to avoid cheap, stingy men.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

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[awhyley]

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What happened??? Your bump was good timing. Just noticed that she posted another video about the original video, which recently hit 1mil views.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

What happened??? Your bump was good timing. Just noticed that she posted another video about the original video, which recently hit 1mil views.

I had posted that she sounds a tiny little bit like a female incel but I erased it.
She has a huge hole that cannot be filled.
But someone upthread mentioned she has a schtick. So maybe that's what this is.
Ion. I praise her transparency but my brain wiring makes her hard to follow. She is all over the place.

 

[Plushottie]

I had posted that she sounds a tiny little bit like a female incel but I erased it.
She has a huge hole that cannot be filled.
But someone upthread mentioned she has a schtick. So maybe that's what this is.
Ion. I praise her transparency but my brain wiring makes her hard to follow. She is all over the place.

Woo too the bolded. It’s so layered but can see this. It’s done in so many groups when you don’t get desired results you move into a voluntary oppression.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Woo too the bolded. It’s so layered but can see this. It’s done in so many groups when you don’t get desired results you move into a voluntary oppression.

I was looking for a way to say it.
To the underlined: This last video is her saying she didn't like the fallout (results/responses) she got about the original video. I just want her to find joy and happiness but its not happening through YT. Even though she has likely made some hefty coin in the last year. She is also upset that other YTers and then people supposedly in her circle didn't even acknowledge her existence and/or what she is doing on YT. So all that to the bolded as well.