caribeandiva
Human being
Thoughts?
Really, you think she's below average looking? I think she's an average looking woman. I watched the video and I understood what she was saying. I guess I don't understand why all these people are talking about "pretty privilege" like it's something that just started.I did not watch the whole video but I’m still going to share what I think.
It is true that attractive people are treated better.
The woman in the video is below average looking. This means that bars and other venues where men are specifically looking to pick up women are not going to be her best bet because there will always be a lot of women who are more attractive than her there. These places aren’t good bets for finding a husband anyway as it is harder to screen out the trash. I have never met a man that I could be serious about in a bar or club, even though plenty of men hit on me.
She needs to find hobbies and activities that include a lot of men and show up looking her cutest and being friendly on a regular basis. She might meet a guy who wants to date her after getting to know her better. You don’t have to be attractive to get married.
I thought she said that her only dates have been with white men?I like her mannerism. She’s frank, pragmatic, and authentic, which is quite refreshing. I wonder what she wanted to gain from posting this video and what she wants long-term.
If I was her close friend and she asked for my input, I’d say: You are actually quite pretty, sis. Pretty skin, nice lips, and big doe eyes (check out a video of her without glasses). Ditch the headband wig and that particular type of glasses or actually just get some contacts. And losing about 10 lbs. would upgrade her look even more.
I’d advise her to reconsider dating exclusively Black, if that’s what she’s doing. There is no other community in which frumpiness poses such an obstacle to getting married so increase your pool and your chances. Leave the West Coast and come get you a nice Midwestern Brad or Jamal if you find one at your local multicultural church or at the gym. If she stays focused, she could be married in about two years, tops.
I’d advise her to reconsider dating exclusively Black, if that’s what she’s doing. There is no other community in which frumpiness poses such an obstacle to getting married so increase your pool and your chances. Leave the West Coast and come get you a nice Midwestern Brad or Jamal if you find one at your local multicultural church or at the gym. If she stays focused, she could be married in about two years, tops.
Yep she did say that in the follow up video:I thought she said that her only dates have been with white men?
-She doesn’t think she’s ugly just not pretty.What are the cliff notes? She doesn't think she's pretty?
Yep she did say that in the follow up video:
I’m glad you said something about those frames and wigs. She may need to adjust her potential mate qualifications as well. I don’t think men don’t approach this woman. I think it has a lot to do with who she is attracted to and they might not be attracted to her.I like her mannerism. She’s frank, pragmatic, and authentic, which is quite refreshing. I wonder what she wanted to gain from posting this video and what she wants long-term.
If I was her close friend and she asked for my input, I’d say: You are actually quite pretty, sis. Pretty skin, nice lips, and big doe eyes (check out a video of her without glasses). Ditch the headband wig and that particular type of glasses or actually just get some contacts. And losing about 10 lbs. would upgrade her look even more.
I’d advise her to reconsider dating exclusively Black, if that’s what she’s doing. There is no other community in which frumpiness poses such an obstacle to getting married so increase your pool and your chances. Leave the West Coast and come get you a nice Midwestern Brad or Jamal if you find one at your local multicultural church or at the gym. If she stays focused, she could be married in about two years, tops.
^ This! The dude that's picking up women in the club isn't going to be there to pick up her. That's not who that guy is looking for. She probably needs to branch out to slightly older, less extroverted men.I’m glad you said something about those frames and wigs. She may need to adjust her potential mate qualifications as well. I don’t think men don’t approach this woman. I think it has a lot to do with who she is attracted to and they might not be attracted to her.
Brad wouldn’t date her, but Peter would.
One thing that I've noticed, as someone who's had pretty privilege up until I got really fat ( now I have the lesser fat pretty privilege ), is that a lot of unpretty people are super shallow. They hyper-focus on physical appearance and don't realize that personality and charisma is it's own secret sauce.
Lol I didn’t know there were levels to it. I like that, so Brad is an extra fine white man, but Peter is regular degular? Lol.I’m glad you said something about those frames and wigs. She may need to adjust her potential mate qualifications as well. I don’t think men don’t approach this woman. I think it has a lot to do with who she is attracted to and they might not be attracted to her.
Brad wouldn’t date her, but Peter would.
So since she’s not the main character in a romance novel she is never going to marry or have children? The chubby but cute sidekick always gets married in those too.She doesn’t want to just get to know a man at church, find they have things in common and develop a relationship. She wants a man to see her and find her irresistible, and sweep her off her feet. This is what she thinks is happening to pretty girls, and she feels cheated.
So… Y’all don’t like headband wigs? Or just not hers?
Lol! Generally speaking, it is a bit of a corny look to me when you leave absolutely no hairline showing. The girlies on YouTube style them up and get real cute (I’ll add some pics) when they start pushing them back to show some hairline, changing out the black fabric headband for something cuter, and add cute makeup for an overall glam effect...but honestly, I don’t see that much effort in real life. Typically, it just ends up looking like folks took that wig out the Amazon package and slapped it on. No effort at shaping, fluffing, nothing.So… Y’all don’t like headband wigs? Or just not hers?
A whole lot of women make the mistake of pulling a wig out of a bag and plopping it on their head with nary a tweak to frame it to their face. Some (not most) people can carry that look off, she's one who cannot.So… Y’all don’t like headband wigs? Or just not hers?
Love your post.I have been in this woman's shoes and I feel her pain. I have lived in LA for nearly all of my adult life. I met my first fiancé in college which was by far the easiest place for a fat average black chick to find a man in these LA streets. Unfortunately, he passed before the wedding and it took me over a decade and thousands of dollars in image consulting and date coaching fees to where I wanted to be.
Little black girls who actually listened to folks tell them "to keep they head in a book and don't worry bout no boys" are done a terrible disservice because by the time your head is removed from the books a lot of us find out we have limited interpersonal skills that transfer to dating or the ability to self assess at the dating level. Attracting men is not an intuitive skill to every woman no matter how many times the coquettish unicorns preach from high above how easy it is.
I had to pay someone to tell me to go expose my breasts to a complete stranger at a lingerie shop to be fitted properly for bras and then buy dresses and blouses with necklines that showed my newly raised and spotlighted cleavage. There's a lot of other things that I learned that paid off but I will tell you that whilst still very fat, emphasizing my boobs got me more attention from men than I had the entirety of my adult life at that point. I'm not talking about just dudes standing outside the liquor store neither. Men I had known for years started acting differently around me. That's why I sometimes said here that men may not even notice you have a head if they like what they see below the neck because trust my face didn't suddenly become prettier. I didn't know the power of a sundress until I was 35.
Also, when I say show cleavage I'm not talking about walking around fully exposed. Part of not worrying about boys was wearing baggy clothes to cover enormous breasts to hide my blessings.
I mention this to say, look at the neckline of the shirts she wore in the thumbnails in her videos until about 2 weeks ago. People are starting to give her advice but it takes a minute to self correct years of conditioning. She probably wears the natural type wigs because people give black women hell about wearing straight styles but here's a secret, straight styles may look better on people for reasons that have all to do with European standards of beauty. If makeup can take you from this to this then ball out at Sephora and get it done regardless of people talking about wizardry and being fair to men and what not.
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Pretty privilege is real and it's unfair so some of us got to cheat our way to it and that's perfectly fine as far as i'm concerned.