I am Divorcing...

[Browndilocks]

mzcarmelicious07,

Congratulations on your brave decision to put your health and safety first! You are in my prayers. :Rose:

 

[alundra]

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/member.php?u=6351God bless you, mzcaramelicious. You are a brave woman. Please take care.

 

[nicki6]

You have done the right thing. I will pray for you.

 

[baby42]

Stay strong and don't fall for his I'm sorry, you know I love you, I didn't mean to hurt you crap. I'm not sure of the laws in your state but you may want to look into getting an order of protection and keep a paper trail....meaning every time he tries to contact you with threatening phone calls contact the police, file a report. It's time for you to start thinking about your future.

be bless and be careful to who you tell where you work and live

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I'm glad you decided to leave...please make sure you have a close contact that will look for you if something happens...May God be with you...Take care of yourself. I to am divorcing but I left my ex the night he thought about hitting me ....he actually broke my cell phone in front of our 2 year old daughter and she was terrified...I made him leave that same night and he's been history ever since...Although he keeps telling people that we are working on it..."whatever.... in his dreams maybe"....Good luck!

 

[sunnydaze]

This is really a tough situation but no matter what, you cannot allow your heart to be manipulated to the point of taking him back. Being away will help heal your heart.

I have to strongly co-sign at this point. You will almost definitely hear a world of I'm sorries, I love you and the such..and he may actually be sorry, but your lot in life is not to be abused or disrespected by a man who is supposed to love, honor and protect you. Stay strong and know you are doing the right thing.

Just know that as you can see, you are not alone. I for one have been in a similar situation and am now divorcing as well. Although I desperately wanted my marriage to work, I know 100% that this is the best decision I could ever make.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Whew! I couldn't even read your response fully because my heart is aching. I will be praying for you.

 

[klb120475]

I have to strongly co-sign at this point. You will almost definitely hear a world of I'm sorries, I love you and the such..and he may actually be sorry, but your lot in life is not to be abused or disrespected by a man who is supposed to love, honor and protect you. Stay strong and know you are doing the right thing.

Just know that as you can see, you are not alone. I for one have been in a similar situation and am now divorcing as well. Although I desperately wanted my marriage to work, I know 100% that this is the best decision I could ever make.

Co-signing............best decision I ever made too.

 

[alexstin]

I am so sorry. It appeared that you two were very happy. I will pray for you. Take care of yourself. I'm so glad you got the courage to leave,

For the past 5 yrs I have been in an unhealthy relationship...physically and verbally abusive. I did not have the courage to leave and got married as most of you know about 7 months ago. Things became worse and I began fearing my safety even more. I was going to work with bruises more and more and was too stressed out to concentrate at work. I began having stress pains in my body and panic attacks at anytime because I never knew what was going to happen when I went home. I have suggested counseling several times, just separation, prayed, confessed, said "Do you see what you are doing to me???" in the midst of incidents with the response of, "I don't have a problem. Everyone does this..." I also asked his parents for help (who was also our pastors), but he would always lie about what he did and they of course believed him. I have recently and abrubtly left the area (and a GREAT job) because I did not feel safe to stay there with him and didn't have anywhere to go in that area. I am now relocated back to my hometown which is 5 hours away and looking to relocate to the VA/MD area.

Please pray for me. I am hurt, dissappointed, angry, betrayed and list could go on and on and on.

Edited to Add after reading some posts:
Thank you so much ladies for the encouragement.

This situation is so confusing because he never flat out hit me with his fist. I've been pushed, wrestled to the ground, hit up side the head with objects, grabbed up and thrown, kicked, chased, among others, but never flat out punched in the face. And I guess since he didn't hit me with his fist, it was said that he wasn't abusive. The verbal abuse was out of this world. I think that is one reason why I stayed. I started to believe some of things that he screamed two inches from my face every other day.

To my knowledge he did not know about me being on here. I mentioned I checked out hair boards, but that is it.

And to another poster, who mentioned a son, I don't have any children (Thank God!).

 

[CarLiTa]

Wow
I am sorry this happened to you, but it is a great thing that you have decided to move away from him. I wish you good luck in what you do

 

[Nefertiti0906]

I pray that the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind during this time

 

[mshoney2u]

You are in my prayers. I am so sorry that you are going through and have went through this.

 

[KathyMay]

My dear I am praying for you, I was in an abusive relationship about 8 years ago and left the marriage with my son who was one at the time, which was the best I did for the both of us. You are not alone, please know that you are in my prayers.

 

[syze6]

Go ahead and cry it out girl...I too am divorcing. I was going to send you a pm, but decided to just post...ya never know who you may be helping. My husband and I had been together for 8 years, married 5 years. He was an alcoholic, he tried rehab a couple of times but that didn't work. Finally last August I just got tired and told him I wanted a divorced. He started drinking more heavily and became abusive. Domestic violence had never been a problem in our marriage, so this was new to me. I finally had to get an order of protection against him. He violated the order of protection and broke in my house around 2am and tried to kill me by strangling me. I was finally able to get away and I ran a couple of blocks barefooted with just my sleeping shirt and panties on to a friends house and banged on her door until her husband opened it. The police finally came, he's in jail now serving a 2 year sentence for violating the order of protection. This ordeal was the most frightening I've ever had to experience. I began to suffer from deep depression, I was fearful of going to sleep, I was practically a walking zombie. With prayer, and a good spiritual network... I'm just now to the point where I am able to sleep at night. I've been attending a domestic violence support group once a week...that helps A LOT. I also, sought professional counseling and I see a Christian psychiatrist.

MzC....know that I'm praying for you and your safety.


{{HUGS}}...klb

Oh wow...that is terrible. I am so glad you got rid of him! I have 0 tolernace for domestic violence. He has the problem not you and I am gled that you did press charges on that BASTARD!!!! Some women are victims and they don't have the courage once the police come to press charges. "this too shall pass!" God heals all.

 

[UmSumayyah]

I am SO glad you had the courage to leave. He is wrong, everyone does NOT do that. I'm sure all the DC ladies are looking forward to meeting you.

 

[free2bnita]

I'm praying for you as I type. My heart aches for what you've been through. Keep God first. Pray and believe that nothing's impossible for Him. Especially in situations where you think you can't make it. Thank you for sharing.

 

[fallback]

MzC....first here's a (((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))). I am so proud of you for being strong and leaving, that's a very big step. I also want to thank you for sharing your story. There are so many women out here that don't have the courage to leave unhealthy relationships.

I pray that you are kept safe and that you continue on your new journey.

GOD BLESS.:Rose:

 

[blueabyss333]

I am so sorry. It appeared that you two were very happy. I will pray for you. Take care of yourself. I'm so glad you got the courage to leave,

ITA. I hope everything works out for you. I'm sorry to hear this.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

i'm glad you had the strength and courage to leave. i'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Priss Pot]

Oh my goodness; I'm in shock. I just remember how happy you were when you first got married. I remember when you were worried about the fit of the wedding dress, and it ended up being fabulous in the end. I guess I just can't imagine anyone divorcing so soon, but in situations like this, please do what's best for YOU. No one can love you like you can. Take care, and I wish you well.

 

[avyance]

I don't know you, but reading your story, I am just so thankful that you left!!!!! I beieve that you will be okay and God has greater things in store for you!!!!

 

[JewelleNY]

{{{{{{MsCaramelicious}}}}}}

That makes me so sad The sooner you got out the better, I will send up a prayer for you. Just know you are not alone:Rose:

 

[Mom23]

I am glad that you are okay. Please know that we are here for you. I wish you the best with everything. You are such a beautiful girl, I hate to think about what you were going through. ((((((HUGS))))))

 

[thatscuteright]

I am glad that you are okay. Please know that we are here for you. I wish you the best with everything. You are such a beautiful girl, I hate to think about what you were going through. ((((((HUGS))))))

Yes, MOM23 has spoken for me.
I am so sorry my dear.

 

[mzcaramelicious07]

..........

 

[MissJ]

Omg, omg, omg! I remember when you got married. *going back to read rest of post*

 

[MissJ]

You sound like me a few years ago. I would have married the idiot, too, so I really can't say anything. You knew in your heart that his behavior was wrong, because all the while you were telling us about him you never brought this up. I'm glad you finally got the courage to move on. Hopefully, you will learn and grow from this experience as I did with mine.

 

[alexstin]

Yes, I remember that time. I guess I was in denial. I remember this feeling in the pit of my stomach throughout all of the planning and even after saying I do in the pulpit, but didn't have the courage to not go through with it. That verbal abuse is something. I believed what he said...I was nothing, ugly, wouldn't get anybody else or everybody is like this and even worse. He was the first person that I even dated. We were only married for 7 months, but dated for almost 6 years and I saw that angry side of him from the 2nd year on.

Thank you so much ladies for encouragement. I have so many mixed emotions. I don't take marriage lightly and didn't EVER want to be divorced. When I mentioned divorce to him, he didn't apologize for anything, but told me that I am breaking the chains, setting him free, and to take my butt back to my hometown. Was I not worth even trying to keep?

My heart aches for you and what he has put you through. My heart also aches for him because even though he claimed to know the Father it's obvious he didn't have a relationship with Him and is a hurting individual who tried to control his pain by lashing out at the one he should shelter from hurt.

You'll be all the more stronger as God brings you through this. I pray that you allow God to heal your heart from the abuse and the accompanying feelings.

 

[MissJ]

When I mentioned divorce to him, he didn't apologize for anything, but told me that I am breaking the chains, setting him free, and to take my butt back to my hometown. Was I not worth even trying to keep?

He's saying that now, but he'll be begging pretty soon.

 

[sunnydaze]

He's saying that now, but he'll be begging pretty soon.

Yes he will...and he is trying to play mind games with you right now. To make you want to come running back, since he is so willing to let you go. Reverse psychology at its worst. Please don't pay attention to that nor start second guessing yourself.

One thing I did when I knew I was through was tell my family what had been going on. I did that b/c I wanted to be held accountable and I wanted them to know, just in the slim chance I tried to backslide or minimize things later on. Knowing my family, I would have possibly lost my daughter if I went back.