I am Divorcing...

Hil84figer said:
MzC...May God bless you...Thank God for your courage to walk away. Like another poster said, keep in contact with someone so if anything may go wrong they can be alert and help. I pray for your safety and happiness.


See this is what gets me why only 2 years. Violating the protection...What about attempted murder. I am glad you are safe and able to live and tell your story...
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My point exactly!! I was so angry about that! :mad: He was initially charged with aggravated assault and aggravated burglary. The prosecutor asked me what I wanted to happen, becuz often times he gets a lot of women who just say they don't want him in jail, they just want him to leave them alone. I told that prosecutor I was not the one! This man tried to kill me and him getting out on probation and some community service was not gon do it. So, at the hearing my ex agreed to plead guilty to the aggravated burglary charge and that's what he' s serving the 2 years on.
 
MzC: I'm sure his parents were no help because this is obviously where he learned the behavior. I'm so proud of you for leaving. Everything happens for a reason. And while it may seem incredibly difficult right now, it will indeed make you stronger in the end. Don't ever give up on yourself and don't ever go back. He doesn't deserve you. God has something better in store for you.

KLB: I'm proud of you as well, Mama. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Keep God first and you won't go wrong. He'll keep you safe, in one mind, and full of peace.

I'm praying for both of you. Not sure what God's plans are for the two of you but it may be to share your story/counsel women in similar situations.

OT: Good advice GlibGirl.
 
mzcaramelicious07 said:
For the past 5 yrs I have been in an unhealthy relationship...physically and verbally abusive. I did not have the courage to leave and got married as most of you know about 7 months ago. Things became worse and I began fearing my safety even more. I was going to work with bruises more and more and was too stressed out to concentrate at work. I began having stress pains in my body and panic attacks at anytime because I never knew what was going to happen when I went home. I have suggested counseling several times, just separation, prayed, confessed, said "Do you see what you are doing to me???" in the midst of incidents with the response of, "I don't have a problem. Everyone does this..." I also asked his parents for help (who was also our pastors), but he would always lie about what he did and they of course believed him. I have recently and abrubtly left the area (and a GREAT job) because I did not feel safe to stay there with him and didn't have anywhere to go in that area. I am now relocated back to my hometown which is 5 hours away and looking to relocate to the VA/MD area.

Please pray for me. I am hurt, dissappointed, angry, betrayed and list could go on and on and on.
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I'm glad you left a bad scene b/4 it got worst..you were stong enough to leave which is the 1st step, YOU WILL BE FINE!!! You're in my prayers.
 
All of that said, I wonder what else you can do to protect yourself. For instance, did he know you posted on LHCF? We don't want him stalking you on the internet -- you may wish to change your screen name and/or refrain from mentioning your whereabouts.
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I was thinking the same thing. I put nothing past an abuser.
 
All you have to say is"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."Philippians 4:13

I will pray for you.

 
Awww, I am so sorry. You are doing the right thing by leaving an abusive relationship. If you stayed, it could get MUCH worse. I commend you for that and will keep you in my prayers. :)
 
mzcaramelicious07 said:
For the past 5 yrs I have been in an unhealthy relationship...physically and verbally abusive. I did not have the courage to leave and got married as most of you know about 7 months ago. Things became worse and I began fearing my safety even more. I was going to work with bruises more and more and was too stressed out to concentrate at work. I began having stress pains in my body and panic attacks at anytime because I never knew what was going to happen when I went home. I have suggested counseling several times, just separation, prayed, confessed, said "Do you see what you are doing to me???" in the midst of incidents with the response of, "I don't have a problem. Everyone does this..." I also asked his parents for help (who was also our pastors), but he would always lie about what he did and they of course believed him. I have recently and abrubtly left the area (and a GREAT job) because I did not feel safe to stay there with him and didn't have anywhere to go in that area. I am now relocated back to my hometown which is 5 hours away and looking to relocate to the VA/MD area.

Please pray for me. I am hurt, dissappointed, angry, betrayed and list could go on and on and on.
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I am so sorry you are going through this trial. I will definitely be praying for you. I am going through a similar trial w/ my difficult husband. I friend of mine just yesterday invited me over and leant me the book :"A Woman God can Use" by Alice Mathews. One of the chapters a stories is about living w/ a dificult and abusive hubby and how to get through it. Sister just stay in prayer because you will have victory in this God will bring you through this difficult time. God bless sister.
 
OMG, MzC. Your post makes me want to cry. Not many women have the courage to walk away from an abusive situation. You have demonstrated strength that a lot of women wish they had. You will be FINE! I hope that you are with people that love and support you and you always have your cyber sisters here for you whenever you need it. If you have any close friends on the board, make sure that you keep in touch with them and from time to time post so that we know that you are ok! We will be praying for you!

:rosebud:
 
klb120475 said:
Go ahead and cry it out girl...I too am divorcing. I was going to send you a pm, but decided to just post...ya never know who you may be helping. My husband and I had been together for 8 years, married 5 years. He was an alcoholic, he tried rehab a couple of times but that didn't work. Finally last August I just got tired and told him I wanted a divorced. He started drinking more heavily and became abusive. Domestic violence had never been a problem in our marriage, so this was new to me. I finally had to get an order of protection against him. He violated the order of protection and broke in my house around 2am and tried to kill me by strangling me. I was finally able to get away and I ran a couple of blocks barefooted with just my sleeping shirt and panties on to a friends house and banged on her door until her husband opened it. The police finally came, he's in jail now serving a 2 year sentence for violating the order of protection. This ordeal was the most frightening I've ever had to experience. I began to suffer from deep depression, I was fearful of going to sleep, I was practically a walking zombie. With prayer, and a good spiritual network... I'm just now to the point where I am able to sleep at night. I've been attending a domestic violence support group once a week...that helps A LOT. I also, sought professional counseling and I see a Christian psychiatrist.

MzC....know that I'm praying for you and your safety.


{{HUGS}}...klb
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Thank you so much for sharing and I am proud of you for also getting out.
 
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mzcaramelicious07 said:
Thank you so much for sharing and I am proud of you for also getting out. I wish I would have consulted the police on some of the occasions. I was too nice and thought about his future and didn't want that on his record. Wow..I am reading this as I type and can't believe myself. I think I will take your and others advice to get some counseling.
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Stay strong and don't fall for his I'm sorry, you know I love you, I didn't mean to hurt you crap. I'm not sure of the laws in your state but you may want to look into getting an order of protection and keep a paper trail....meaning every time he tries to contact you with threatening phone calls contact the police, file a report. It's time for you to start thinking about your future.
 
Oh wow, MzC, I'm glad you are getting out of this crazy situation.
My prayers are with you, and please, do find a counselor. And always know you are doing the right thing.
 
OMG MzC I am sorry to hear this happened to you :(. I have been exactly where you are, 15 yrs ago. You did the right thing and please please don't go back to him under any circumstances. I am praying for you.
 
MzC...I've been there too. Just know that you did the right thing by getting away from him. Obviously HE doesn't understand that abuse is not a decision, it's a choice. You do not have to put up with abuse from him or anyone else. I am a firm believer that love shouldn't hurt, and if it does, then it's not love. I will keep you in my prayers. Stay strong!!
 
I'm glad that you found the strength to do what is best for you. I will be praying for you too. Take care and keep God close he will make a way for you.
 
Maybe his parents didn't believe you because thats how they act, I don't know, but he had to get that belief from somewhere.

i'm echo what a lot of ladies here have said. I'm glad you're not with him anymore. abuse isn't supposed to happen in a loving relationship.

-A
 
Nazarite27 said:
MzC...I've been there too. Just know that you did the right thing by getting away from him. Obviously HE doesn't understand that abuse is not a decision, it's a choice. You do not have to put up with abuse from him or anyone else. I am a firm believer that love shouldn't hurt, and if it does, then it's not love. I will keep you in my prayers. Stay strong!!
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I agree. Sending prayers your way!!! Q
 
I am praying for you and I am so proud of you for having the courage to leave before things got worse- they always do. God bless you and you are in our thoughts.
 
I understand your pain, though I've never been abused every generation of women in my family have been and more intimately my mother for 11 years of my life. You are an inspiration to the other women here who may be going through the same thing right now. Let God lead you to happiness and leave all the negativity behind you.

Remain encouraged Sistah!
 
I am so proud of you! I know this is really hard for you but you are doing the right thing. And don't let him sweet talk you. He will likely promise, plead and beg just so he can get a chance to hurt you again. I wish you all the best in the world. A new, wonderful life is finally beginning for you.

Btw, do you have family support? I will go back and read through the thread to see if you already said anything about this.

Take care and be strong.
 
JCoily said:
Congratulations on taking your first step into a better life for yourself!

Everything will be ok.

Take care

JC
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Cosigning!! I admire your courage and am keeping you in prayer also!
 
klb120475 said:
Go ahead and cry it out girl...I too am divorcing. I was going to send you a pm, but decided to just post...ya never know who you may be helping. My husband and I had been together for 8 years, married 5 years. He was an alcoholic, he tried rehab a couple of times but that didn't work. Finally last August I just got tired and told him I wanted a divorced. He started drinking more heavily and became abusive. Domestic violence had never been a problem in our marriage, so this was new to me. I finally had to get an order of protection against him. He violated the order of protection and broke in my house around 2am and tried to kill me by strangling me. I was finally able to get away and I ran a couple of blocks barefooted with just my sleeping shirt and panties on to a friends house and banged on her door until her husband opened it. The police finally came, he's in jail now serving a 2 year sentence for violating the order of protection. This ordeal was the most frightening I've ever had to experience. I began to suffer from deep depression, I was fearful of going to sleep, I was practically a walking zombie. With prayer, and a good spiritual network... I'm just now to the point where I am able to sleep at night. I've been attending a domestic violence support group once a week...that helps A LOT. I also, sought professional counseling and I see a Christian psychiatrist.

MzC....know that I'm praying for you and your safety.


{{HUGS}}...klb
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I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing. You are also very brave. I will pray for you and MzC. ((((HUGS))))
 
I cannot imagine how lonely and isolated you might be feeling at this time. My heart goes out to you. This is really a tough situation but no matter what, you cannot allow your heart to be manipulated to the point of taking him back. Being away will help heal your heart. These article will help you understand why you would continue to love and forgive an abuser. Hopefully, it will help you to stay on the course to recovery. I wish you well ((((HUGS)))).

http://www.mental-health-matters.com/ (Very good - it talks about the 20 signs of an abuser (loser))
http://www.drjoecarver.com/3/miscellaneous2.htm (Look under articles for Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser).
 
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