Husband and our jobless issues

[longhairlover]

My husband was laid off last summer from a large insurance company I call them the anti christ, he was the only one laid off and since then his job search along with mine has been a nightmare. However he gets interviews weekly I don't.

He's gotten interviews but no offers, I told him to change up his job search and maybe put less focus on the corporate world since it's a mess and I feel like they are saving the good jobs for their own.

So my hubby's old co-worker has started a green company and my hubby is obsessed with doing sales with this dude, now my husband has told me time and time again that sales jobs are crap and he's not a good salesman, now all of a sudden he wants to do sales for this dude, at first the guy was offering him no sort of stipend nothing just work for free and if you sell i'll give you 2.5% commissions. Hello he's a married f-ing ! man, I have thyroid disease, he has asthma we need benefits!!!!!!! he needs a real paying job!!!!

So this husband of mine was going back and forth with the guy and now the guy is offering a $400 stipend every 2 weeks which he is going to tax!!!! no benefits nothing.

I keep telling my husband don't do it, that he's better off going to home depot or some local place to get f/t work and I think they offer benefits, he's like "that's not gonna happen, i'm gonna do what I want to do!" so i'm ready to go stay with my mother until he comes back to planet earth. (I would go to home depot and try to get work or a local store but I messed my lower back up yrs ago training & pursuing a professional dance career )

It's furiating he is so stuck on this corporate dream of being some CEO or some top mogul when it's hard doing these things and even harder being African American and a darn male,

I tell him it's all good to have dreams but for now we need something with benefits and steady pay not wasting time and having someone use you (his friend).

His other friend was out of work and is newly married and he kept on looking and eventually he found something a real job, he didn't go a make up a job that was practically free work!!!!

i'm so mad right now! i'm applying for work all over and all sorts of positions but still no interviews, my resume is the same format he uses (I created it) but he gets interviews weekly just no offers yet. I feel like this is my bad luck phase in life!

What would you ladies do in this situation? he's not taking my advice, I feel his associate is just using him because my hubby's desperate, after taxes are taken out of a $400 stipend paid bi-weekly he might as well just hand out free newspapers for work.

i'm just so angry because a marriage is supposed to be about talking to each other and making decisions together, but right now he's on some "I do what I want!" ish!

 

[longhairlover]

Oh and to save money we moved to a cheaper apt, which is filled with crazies and trash, the chick next door i'm trying to keep from strangling, we have been here a yr and she has consistently slammed her door when she sees me and all times of the night disturbing us.

We also need to move badly.

 

[Jazala]

I understand your frustration, however given the choice between working as a store clerk and working commission sales job, I would chose the sales job too. With the clerk job they rarely give enough hours to provide benefits and the pay will be as low as the stipend your husband was offered. With the sales job his earning potential is limitless. Sounds like he is really motivated to do the sales job so why not let him try it out? He can still look for other work in the meantime.

 

[southerncitygirl]

If he's not good at sales why would he bother doing this job? If he takes it he'd better keep on looking in cases it backfires. Most comapnies set sales goals and if you can't keep up they lay you off. I suggest looking for a part time job in the meantime, check out idealist.org and keep your search very broad. they list jobs in the non-profit sector and many of them pay well whether full or part time and some of the pt jobs have benefits, too. i'm sorry you're so frustrated ....even with your living situation you need some peace of mind. Take a yoga class many have community classes that you can pay as you wish so if you have less than 5 bucks then thats what you pay. your hubby needs to consider whats best not just for him but for the both of you. He should write everything off as an deduction if he takes this job from clothing to meals as long as they relate to him working. I wish you well, everything will be fine.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

I understand your frustration, however given the choice between working as a store clerk and working commission sales job, I would chose the sales job too. With the clerk job they rarely give enough hours to provide benefits and the pay will be as low as the stipend your husband was offered. With the sales job his earning potential is limitless. Sounds like he is really motivated to do the sales job so why not let him try it out? He can still look for other work in the meantime.

Plus, if and when the economy improves, that sales job is going to look a lot better on his resume than a sales clerk position in retail. This is one of the reasons I took the job I have now instead of something that is a little more stable. I can put my current job on my resume as actually related to my field.

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

He may want to try these sites: www.greatinsurancejobs.com and www.indeed.com (searches both company and job sites at the same time; one stop shop type of thing). Overall I think you should stick it out with your husband for at least the next three months. Give things a chance to workout be it with this job or another he finds. If you guys are on medications, you may want to contact the manufacture of those medications to see if they can help (usually for up to 3 months to year) free of charge.

 

[Mrs. N Lugo]

Hugs to you and your DH. Things will get better. Does your state have free healthcare for low income families? Maybe you guys can apply for that while he is working the sales job.

 

[longhairlover]

your right, I have never really worked in stores so I thought it'd be easy to get full time hours. but I guess they would try to find a way to only give p/t hours.

I'm just like he's so motivated to work with his friend but other sales jobs have contacted him for products he knows inside and out....insurance.

And then I understand his friend is trying to do everything by the books but taxing him and making him a w2 worker will affect his unemployment which right now is paying the rent.

In my gut I just feel like this is going to turn into a disaster and $400 every 2 weeks plus taxes being witheld erplexed.

I thought his friend would pay him off the books .

I understand your frustration, however given the choice between working as a store clerk and working commission sales job, I would chose the sales job too. With the clerk job they rarely give enough hours to provide benefits and the pay will be as low as the stipend your husband was offered. With the sales job his earning potential is limitless. Sounds like he is really motivated to do the sales job so why not let him try it out? He can still look for other work in the meantime.

 

[longhairlover]

for some reason he feels like this is a product he can sell, and he's going off on what his friend made doing it part time.

it's a green company that his old coworker started, the business focuses on turbines wind something. and alledgedly the friend is telling my hubby that ALOT of inquiries are coming in about the product.

but i'm the type where I want to see reports financial statements just proof that this is such a great idea that people are interested in.

I feel like because it's his "friend" he wants to work for him.

the friend was also telling my hubby that other people he's had work for him haven't been able to make the same sales he's been able to make, and I wonder why? the friend claims he's made a million $$$ in sales last yr doing it part time then how come the other employees haven't done as well.

I don't trust anyone, and I feel like his buddy is using him and ear @@##! him to get him in (if that makes sense).

he's still going to look for work.

and your right what about sales goals?

I think since my husband is friends with this guy he hasn't asked him any of the important questions that should be asked for any sales job


thx for the site i'm going to check it out for myself too.
I work out, i'm trying to make sure I stay healthy even with thyroid issues but stress doesn't help, and I have my own stress from my job search which is going nowhere and he is being selfish and thinking as if he's 21 and fresh out of college with no responsibilities.

If he's not good at sales why would he bother doing this job? If he takes it he'd better keep on looking in cases it backfires. Most comapnies set sales goals and if you can't keep up they lay you off. I suggest looking for a part time job in the meantime, check out idealist.org and keep your search very broad. they list jobs in the non-profit sector and many of them pay well whether full or part time and some of the pt jobs have benefits, too. i'm sorry you're so frustrated ....even with your living situation you need some peace of mind. Take a yoga class many have community classes that you can pay as you wish so if you have less than 5 bucks then thats what you pay. your hubby needs to consider whats best not just for him but for the both of you. He should write everything off as an deduction if he takes this job from clothing to meals as long as they relate to him working. I wish you well, everything will be fine.

 

[longhairlover]

true about retail on the resume will be a big thumbs down, he was a marketing analyst but did more reporting and number crunching. he's only had one sales job and that was out of college, all of his other stuff has been in insurance but more on the financial side of it not sales based, of course i'll keep this thread updated on what happens with his "sales" and if it leads to $$$$.

Plus, if and when the economy improves, that sales job is going to look a lot better on his resume than a sales clerk position in retail. This is one of the reasons I took the job I have now instead of something that is a little more stable. I can put my current job on my resume as actually related to my field.

 

[longhairlover]

he's on those sites daily, we are on every site possible, he's getting interviews just no offers as of yet.

once out meds run out I will definitely take your advice and contact the manufacturers, I had no idea they did that, this is my first time having any health issues, I found out about my hyperthyroid last year it just was like out of nowhere.

I stick by him and i'm very supportive, but I get frustrated i'm not perfect, and he normally analyzes things thoroughly before jumping in. just because it's your friend doesn't mean you trust it.

He hasn't really asked the guy anything, like "do I have a sales goal?" and whatever else you would ask in regards to a sales job.

He may want to try these sites: www.greatinsurancejobs.com and www.indeed.com (searches both company and job sites at the same time; one stop shop type of thing). Overall I think you should stick it out with your husband for at least the next three months. Give things a chance to workout be it with this job or another he finds. If you guys are on medications, you may want to contact the manufacture of those medications to see if they can help (usually for up to 3 months to year) free of charge.

 

[longhairlover]

thx for your blessings.
they probably do have free health insurance, we still have enough meds from when he was working and we had benefits and was doing the mail order thing. i'm really a new yorker so I know nothing about what nj offers, my mom is a court officer out here now and I had her ask about other programs but our unemployment causes us to "earn too much monthly" aint that something?

BUT I haven't had my blood checked like I am supposed to every 3 months to make sure my thyroid levels are stable, they were when I last went last winter

it's like when everything fell apart with the finance industry I had to be diagnosed with a disease that keeps you in the dr.s office every 3 months.

his asthma and allergies are stable, it's my thyroid crap that i'm worried about but just try to ignore it, I take my meds I don't feel too bad so I "guess" i'm ok for now. I pray that God will keep me healthy until I find something or he finds something perm.

Hugs to you and your DH. Things will get better. Does your state have free healthcare for low income families? Maybe you guys can apply for that while he is working the sales job.

 

[longhairlover]

thank you ladies for your advice and kind words, I know I can always come to my sisters on lhcf when I need support and advice.

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

he's on those sites daily, we are on every site possible, he's getting interviews just no offers as of yet.

once out meds run out I will definitely take your advice and contact the manufacturers, I had no idea they did that, this is my first time having any health issues, I found out about my hyperthyroid last year it just was like out of nowhere.

Hope it works out for you. A friend of a friend has a parent who needs anti-rejection meds and they are getting them free for the next year because they can't afford it. I was shocked to learn how much the meds cost-- $15,000 A YEAR!!!

Best of luck to you and your husband!

 

[jada1111]

If he's not good at sales why would he bother doing this job? If he takes it he'd better keep on looking in cases it backfires. Most comapnies set sales goals and if you can't keep up they lay you off. I suggest looking for a part time job in the meantime, check out idealist.org and keep your search very broad. they list jobs in the non-profit sector and many of them pay well whether full or part time and some of the pt jobs have benefits, too. i'm sorry you're so frustrated ....even with your living situation you need some peace of mind. Take a yoga class many have community classes that you can pay as you wish so if you have less than 5 bucks then thats what you pay. your hubby needs to consider whats best not just for him but for the both of you.

This is what I need to take a yoga class. I'm not in a good mental place right now.

I have no advice for the OP, except that your husband feels desperate and is trying to do anything he can to put food on the table.

For what it's worth, I agree with you. His friend's "opportunity" is a scam. He'll see that for himself after a few weeks.

 

[longhairlover]

yeah it's a mess, meds cost so much it's ridiculous even the generic are costly when you don't have benefits, and i'm trying to keep from getting depressed, i've always been healthy, active and thin, I started to bloat around my stomach which use to always be flat and then a pot belly, at first I was like it's age, but i'm not a big eater all this time it was the thyroid slowly destroying me @#@##$%$$!!!!

this is why all my life I was always scared to end up sick because then your dependant and if you are ever unemployed your ish out of luck!

Hope it works out for you. A friend of a friend has a parent who needs anti-rejection meds and they are getting them free for the next year because they can't afford it. I was shocked to learn how much the meds cost-- $15,000 A YEAR!!!

Best of luck to you and your husband!

 

[longhairlover]

@bold, this is just how I feel in my gut, like you said he will see, he's a hard headed Libra (disclaimer: sorry to any libras out there but ya'll know how ya'll are lmao).

So I guess he has to do this and see for himself.
I feel that a friend will pay you off the books if they know your getting unemployment and every dollar counts. He said he went to the guys office it's downtown manhattan and looks official. i'm like so! I don't care if Trump was sitting in the waiting area lmao!

but i'm gonna sit back and hopefully it will work out or he will get an offer from one of these interviews.

I do the workouts that are free on exercisetv. And I have a treadmill so sometimes i'll run, it does make me feel better.

check out exercise tv, they have great workouts and yoga too they have free full videos, you can do on your computer.

I know what your saying about not being in the right mental place, I feel that way but you gotta fight it.

and he is desperate like a crack head right now, he's use to being out the house everyday, i'm desperate too but i'm not making up work.

This is what I need to take a yoga class. I'm not in a good mental place right now.

I have no advice for the OP, except that your husband feels desperate and is trying to do anything he can to put food on the table.

For what it's worth, I agree with you. His friend's "opportunity" is a scam. He'll see that for himself after a few weeks.

 

[sky_blu]

Only read one response but I'd suck it up and support my husband. In this day and age with jobs sparingly there, I would let him try something new if he's motivated to do it. If it doesnt work out he can go to Home Depot or go to Home Depot and sell on the side.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I wouldn't wait UNTIL you run out of meds to contact the manufacturer and start looking into medical assistance stuff. Usually there is 50 billion sheets of paperwork and it's not like you ask Monday, and get your pills Tuesday. Ask NOW before you run out of meds and have your thyroid go crazy on you. That way you can hopefully not have a gap where you were off the medicine and have to start it back up.

Try calling New Jersey Family Care. You may not qualify for that program but ASK THEM where else you should be applying, they may have a list of programs and phone numbers for you to try.

I share your reservations about your DH's new job. The friend sounds like a user. However, retail jobs are hard to come by these days, and the hours they give are way too few with almost NO benefits. Plus the hours are so irregular and crazy that it makes interviewing for jobs all but impossible. It's not like he would be working M-F, 9am-5pm. Every single week his schedule would change and it is a very stressful life.

Plus it looks awful on a resume as opposed to this sales job. Even if it is an awful job it sounds better than being unemployed or being a clerk at the hardware store.

 

[jada1111]

@bold, this is just how I feel in my gut, like you said he will see, he's a hard headed Libra (disclaimer: sorry to any libras out there but ya'll know how ya'll are lmao).

So I guess he has to do this and see for himself.
I feel that a friend will pay you off the books if they know your getting unemployment and every dollar counts. He said he went to the guys office it's downtown manhattan and looks official. i'm like so! I don't care if Trump was sitting in the waiting area lmao!

but i'm gonna sit back and hopefully it will work out or he will get an offer from one of these interviews.

I do the workouts that are free on exercisetv. And I have a treadmill so sometimes i'll run, it does make me feel better.

check out exercise tv, they have great workouts and yoga too they have free full videos, you can do on your computer.

I know what your saying about not being in the right mental place, I feel that way but you gotta fight it.

and he is desperate like a crack head right now, he's use to being out the house everyday, i'm desperate too but i'm not making up work.

Thanks for the exercisetv tip. I was thinking about taking a class to get the form down before doing it at home.

I kinda disagree about having retail clerk on the resume, but to be honest, millions of americans have been out of work for more than two years. He doesn't have to put ANYTHING down to fill that space if he doesn't want to. Many employers will understand.

Also, his friend probably doesn't want to play the tax game with the state and feds at this juncture, because too much crap is going down. I can understand that. Doesn't matter anyway, because your husband will see that it's bullcrap. Your friend probably made his "millions" from bringing in people like your husband who are making the real sales. I doubt it though.

 

[Shoediva]

I agree with you OP. DH is not thinking overall how this "alleged new found opportunity" is going to effect you both. Sounds, like he hasn't thought about how working for his friend is going to decrease his UI benefits. Which inturn will have an effect on household expenses. Unless his friend has a signed contract agreement with a company. I would not be supporting this idea. If he had regular job and this opportunity came along as something he could do p/t until it got off the ground and he could perhaps be a partner or be offered a position, then perhaps I would be more supportive. But that isnt the case.

Nowadays when you have familiy members with health issues. Benefits are are more important than any thing else.

Google the pharmaceutical company that makes your meds and you can usually find information on their website on how to apply for meds when you cant pay.

 

[longhairlover]

I can't 100% suck it up, when this could also affect his unemployment since his friend is going to put him on the books.

And I said earlier I stick by him, his career advanced because of me pushing him and supporting him, but I can't support everything when something to me seems a bit shady and unproductive.

Only read one response but I'd suck it up and support my husband. In this day and age with jobs sparingly there, I would let him try something new if he's motivated to do it. If it doesnt work out he can go to Home Depot or go to Home Depot and sell on the side.

 

[longhairlover]

see I know i'm not crazy the way I feel,
i'm just like if his friend is "helping" then why not pay him off the books friends do that for each other especially since it's not alot of money, and taxation is my career transition field (still cant find a job with it) so the amount he would be paying him bi-weekly would not amount to anything serious.

if this were a real job with a company that has been around for a while and has a good reputation then I would not have anything to say, and I told him do it part time but he insists on doing this 5 days a week.

he doesn't want to take my advice and I haven't steered him wrong yet with his career and advice.

I agree with you OP. DH is not thinking overall how this "alleged new found opportunity" is going to effect you both. Sounds, like he hasn't thought about how working for his friend is going to decrease his UI benefits. Which inturn will have an effect on household expenses. Unless his friend has a signed contract agreement with a company. I would not be supporting this idea. If he had regular job and this opportunity came along as something he could do p/t until it got off the ground and he could perhaps be a partner or be offered a position, then perhaps I would be more supportive. But that isnt the case.

Nowadays when you have familiy members with health issues. Benefits are are more important than any thing else.

Google the pharmaceutical company that makes your meds and you can usually find information on their website on how to apply for meds when you cant pay.

 

[longhairlover]

your right about the job market being bad and employers should know that.

it's crazy because normally I can find seasonal tax work but nothing this season, my last job was last tax season

and employers do try to play me and ask "so what have you been doing since your last job?" ummmmmm looking for work wtf!

I just feel like when you are AA things are 10x's harder even when you have the education and the experience. My first name is russian so I get calls, but once I call the person back and they can tell i'm not russian they hit me with "i'll pass your resume around" and I never hear back from them and I have the fortune 500 work experience education blah blah still not helping during these times.

so he is afraid of having the space gap on his resume because for us we are being judged even though its in everyones face the economy is bad.

I told my hubby ask to see his 1st yr financial reporting I want to see proof of this 1milli in sales. He can be very gullable and at times believes whatever a person tells him, i'm the skeptic.

Thanks for the exercisetv tip. I was thinking about taking a class to get the form down before doing it at home.

I kinda disagree about having retail clerk on the resume, but to be honest, millions of americans have been out of work for more than two years. He doesn't have to put ANYTHING down to fill that space if he doesn't want to. Many employers will understand.

Also, his friend probably doesn't want to play the tax game with the state and feds at this juncture, because too much crap is going down. I can understand that. Doesn't matter anyway, because your husband will see that it's bullcrap. Your friend probably made his "millions" from bringing in people like your husband who are making the real sales. I doubt it though.

 

[longhairlover]

thank you LadyP,

I just feel like we have become such losers and that we will never get on our feet again, it's soooooo aggravating I just want to scream!then where I live doesn't help me feel any better it just adds to the stress

Oh and I just had to put out 3grand because my car decided to break down. My money stashed is for emergencies like rent, but then if I don't have a car I can't interview if it's for stuff in nj can't win.

I know so many other people are going through this but I feel like it's just us that's jobless and hates where we live, when we first got married we had a beautiful brand new apt and I had a good job he had a good job then things went downhill, the landlord went up on the rent by $200 from 1200 to 1400 and then he moved in some wte trash that were noisey and we have not been able to find a comparable apt since.

it's just everything, and I don't want the hubby to waste his time, he wants to dedicate 5 days a week 40hrs to this instead of p/t like I thought he'd do.

your right about the retail, I forgot how they work it's hard to get f/t hrs.

I wouldn't wait UNTIL you run out of meds to contact the manufacturer and start looking into medical assistance stuff. Usually there is 50 billion sheets of paperwork and it's not like you ask Monday, and get your pills Tuesday. Ask NOW before you run out of meds and have your thyroid go crazy on you. That way you can hopefully not have a gap where you were off the medicine and have to start it back up.

Try calling New Jersey Family Care. You may not qualify for that program but ASK THEM where else you should be applying, they may have a list of programs and phone numbers for you to try.

I share your reservations about your DH's new job. The friend sounds like a user. However, retail jobs are hard to come by these days, and the hours they give are way too few with almost NO benefits. Plus the hours are so irregular and crazy that it makes interviewing for jobs all but impossible. It's not like he would be working M-F, 9am-5pm. Every single week his schedule would change and it is a very stressful life.

Plus it looks awful on a resume as opposed to this sales job. Even if it is an awful job it sounds better than being unemployed or being a clerk at the hardware store.

 

[Lucie]

I wish you and your husband all the best. I lost my temp job a week ago. I have been temping for two years and it is frustrating to be someplace news every 3-4 months. Like an orphan. But, you and your DH will get through this. I know he said he is not into selling but he probably just wants to do whatever he can to make things work. I will keep you both in my prayers. ((( HUGS ))) You always have LHCF girl!!!

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Hey Longhair...I gotta quick question.

With his friend paying him on the books, how will this play with him collecting unemployment? For example, if he applies for an extension of benefits, they will see that he had a job.... I'm not being nosey, I'm just askin...

 

[longhairlover]

awww thank you Lucie, I wish I could find temp work, my resume has been sent all over, I feel like i'm jinxed, in 2007 I quit this job at a financial firm and since then I haven't been able to find a real job, I just find it weird. And my job search has been bad way before the financial crisis.

I need the prayers

I wish you and your husband all the best. I lost my temp job a week ago. I have been temping for two years and it is frustrating to be someplace news every 3-4 months. Like an orphan. But, you and your DH will get through this. I know he said he is not into selling but he probably just wants to do whatever he can to make things work. I will keep you both in my prayers. ((( HUGS ))) You always have LHCF girl!!!

 

[darlingdiva]

Oh and to save money we moved to a cheaper apt, which is filled with crazies and trash, the chick next door i'm trying to keep from strangling, we have been here a yr and she has consistently slammed her door when she sees me and all times of the night disturbing us.

We also need to move badly.

I just mentally cursed her out for you!!!!

I'm half and half on your situation. I totally agree w/ you that it's a scam, but the other part of me says support him while encouraging him to look for something else on the side.

I don't know what else to say, but I want to extend a big ((((HUG)))) to you.

 

[longhairlover]

he wants to do this job full time m-f 40 hrs so it will most likely cause him to lose his benefits because weekly they want to know have you returned to work full time regardless if the jobs pays $2 an hr lol, now if he does it part time then they will just cut the amount he gets weekly maybe by half.

your not being nosey

Hey Longhair...I gotta quick question.

With his friend paying him on the books, how will this play with him collecting unemployment? For example, if he applies for an extension of benefits, they will see that he had a job.... I'm not being nosey, I'm just askin...