How to date a white man

[BroadstreetBully]

You know Almaz, I thought this at first too, but I'm wondering if this is a way for WHITE MEN to meet black women. Yeah, they'll be presenters and speakers, etc., but I'm quite sure there'll be some white dudes looking to date their preference.

I've lived in LA for a few years now and I can honestly say that the black population isn't very high. The blacks who have lived here since forever live in their OWN neighborhoods and don't like white folks. They just don't. So any white man that wants to date a bw will have to deal with one that's not from LA.

I don't mind the seminar. It's in Culver City not too far from me. I won't be attending though. Like others have said, you don't need a "class" on how to date a white dude. They're just like every other man with some slight cultural differences.

If a white AMERICAN man is interested in forming a relationship with a black woman then he's already aware of how some people will "think" even his own family.

I find that more minority families are accepting of these relationships than white ones.

I've seen many interracial couplings in LA, so it's not a big thing here or I think ANYWHERE anymore.

Of course! According to the website, the owner of the venue alone has 20 friends (white males) attending. I can see this becoming a love connection because how often can a non-black man find a significant amount of black women open to IR in one place? Those men are jumping on this with the quickness. Every lady in that piece will probably leave boo'ed up.

 

[jada1111]

Of course! According to the website, the owner of the venue alone has 20 friends (white males) attending. I can see this becoming a love connection because how often can a non-black man find a significant amount of black women open to IR in one place? Those men are jumping on this with the quickness. Every lady in that piece will probably leave boo'ed up.

LOL! Hopefully, they all look like their photos.

Hmmm, maybe I should go. LOL!

Nah, I'm not that desperate for a white dude (actually ANY dude). I like being by myself for now. Gives me a chance to think and reflect about things.

 

[BlackHairDiva]

I'm stunned they ,blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com ,are located in toronto canada. Now Im curious....what the heck is going on.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I have nothing against interracial dating. You love who you love.

However, something doesnt sit right with me regarding a number BW-WM relationship sites that I've come across. Idk if it's the delivery or just the sudden surge of a million and one black women creating these sites, specifically blogs. They are everywhere in such a way that it makes the whole thing seem fad-ish.

I do think many women need to expand their mate preferences to include non-blacks, but idk, sometimes it feels like it's being forced down BW's throats in a "**** black men and chase down a white man." IMO, women shouldnt chase men and most men have agreed with me that aggressively pressed women is not only a turn-off, but also emasculating. Regardless if a woman agrees or disagrees with men usually having such sentiments, men will be men--black, white or other. So telling women to hunt a mate--not being the act of open & proactive putting yourself in real life situations for men to find you-- is the worst advice ever.

 

[DarkVictory]

Wow. I mad I know of some of the people on that flyer from my days in LA.

Yup! Funny how L.A. is a small town in certain ways - even for us barnacles on the @$$ of the entertainment biz.

Back on topic: agreeing with those who say this seminar is a way to gather men who are looking with ladies open to the idea of IR dating, kind of like ladies' night at the bar. Given the population statistics here, any BW who wants to date a White, Asian or Latino guy can probably find one.

 

[mw138]

This is a bunch of BS.

 

[Transformer]

Interracial Dating: The Black Girl’s Guide?

Posted by drdarnise on Sunday, August 2, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I went to an interesting event today here in Los Angeles. A friend of mine hosted an event called Free Your MInd: The Black Girl’s Guide to Interracial Dating. Her intent was to introduce Black women to broadening their dating circle. Citing census data that reports higher numbers of Black women than Black men, my friend’s event let Black women know that it is ok to date non-Black men to ensure that they have a solid chance of finding loving companionship and marriage.

The event drew over 100 Black women to a local restaurant who came to hear a panel of diverse men talk about their experiences of interracial dating and their appreciation for Black women. As a relationship mentor, myself, I was intrigued at both the number of women showing up and their reasons. For many years Black women have stated a desire to remain “loyal” to Black men, so for many Black women attending an event like this one took a lot.

The event affirmed “love without boundaries.” Of course, some controversies around the historical issues of Black women and White men were raised and addressed, and the hostility that Black men report receiving from Black women when they date interracially.

All in all an intersting event, and a telling one for me as I continue to help women attract their perfect mate. A lot of times the perfect mate doesn’t come in the expected package. The question is, will you be ready when “the one” comes along and he or she is different than what you had always imagined? Will you be able to Free Your Mind?

 

[JollyGal]

I don't see anything wrong with this workshop. A similar workshop was recorded on youtube...I need to find the video. They spoke to black females and non black males. It was very interesting.

I don't find it offensive either. There are many women out there who are stuck when it comes to dating and are looking to date outside of their race. Workshops like this help them and give them confidence. Too many women are trapped in the 'loyalty' mentality of waiting for their black man to come along and sweep them off their feet when there is possibly a non black man who is just as great and will love her too.

The pictures are all real. They are real life people who sent their pictures to the blogs listed...and the panel are real people.

It's niche but I like the idea

 

[Arcadian]

Dating white men is hard?




:endworld:





*leaves thread*


-A

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I don't see anything wrong with this workshop. A similar workshop was recorded on youtube...I need to find the video. They spoke to black females and non black males. It was very interesting.

I don't find it offensive either. There are many women out there who are stuck when it comes to dating and are looking to date outside of their race. Workshops like this help them and give them confidence. Too many women are trapped in the 'loyalty' mentality of waiting for their black man to come along and sweep them off their feet when there is possibly a non black man who is just as great and will love her too.

The pictures are all real. They are real life people who sent their pictures to the blogs listed...and the panel are real people.

It's niche but I like the idea

You know, I didn't even consider this, you make a good point. There are probably black women who are really curious about interracial dating but are unsure about where to start. They are caught up in thinking they must stay loyal to black men because that's a black woman's only option. We don't see a lot of examples of BW/WM couples like we see BM/WW couples, and a black woman who is curious but cautious could benefit from the opportunity to meet other black women who have gone that route or who are interesting in going that route. If it's not something she can talk to her girlfriends about, she can at least meet other women who can relate. Nice to know it went well.

 

[jada1111]

You know, I didn't even consider this, you make a good point. There are probably black women who are really curious about interracial dating but are unsure about where to start. They are caught up in thinking they must stay loyal to black men because that's a black woman's only option. We don't see a lot of examples of BW/WM couples like we see BM/WW couples, and a black woman who is curious but cautious could benefit from the opportunity to meet other black women who have gone that route or who are interesting in going that route. If it's not something she can talk to her girlfriends about, she can at least meet other women who can relate. Nice to know it went well.

Sticking with a black men for all eternity was NEVER her only option. It's something she CHOSE to do. Men of other races have ALWAYS been interested in us and not just for sex either.

It may have been like that once (with the white american man) along time ago, but it's changing now, especially with older white men who don't give a damn what anybody says or thinks.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Sticking with a black men for all eternity was NEVER her only option. It's something she CHOSE to do. Men of other races have ALWAYS been interested in us and not just for sex either.

It may have been like that once (with the white american man) along time ago, but it's changing now, especially with older white men who don't give a damn what anybody says or thinks.

Oh I agree with you. I think that within a certain age group and depending on their upbringing (geography, socioeconomic background, etc), some black women wouldn't usually consider interracial dating as an option. They always envisioned having a black family, so this really is something new that takes a bit of adjusting and education on the subject. Now I grew up in a diverse setting so it was easier for me have an open mind, but it's not like that for a good amount of black women.

 

[Ozma]

According to this ezine http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/
it was standing-room only and was covered on NPR. I might have to check out the Atlanta seminar

 

[UmSumayyah]

Dating white men is hard?




:endworld:





*leaves thread*


-A

It does seem a little strange, but then different people have different needs. I was flipping thru a class catalog and was amazed at a beginner's cooking class. The copy asked "tired of eating ready made meals?" I'm thinking, who can't cook basic things? And can't you just pick up a cookbook, rather than pay $85 and drive to the local high school at 6:00 on Tuesday?

But I'm sure more than a few people will sign up for that class and pay good money for something I consider ridiculously easy.

 

[growth2come]

How to date a white man?? This is silly...what next...how to date black men that like white women?...How to date to and keep a man?...For goodness sake!

 

[ThePerfectScore]

This is so sad... you date a white man the same way you date a black man.... this is so pathetic

 

[BroadstreetBully]

There are a few pics up at http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/

Something about that first picture....

But anyway, if some sistas left this feeling empowered, that's all right with me. Good to see us looking out for ourselves for once.

 

[Jas123]

i just heard she will be featured on npr today... i'm definitely going to listen, i think it's kind of funny... but i guess she just wants to let us know there is more out there and not to limit ourselves

 

[JollyGal]

You know, I didn't even consider this, you make a good point. There are probably black women who are really curious about interracial dating but are unsure about where to start. They are caught up in thinking they must stay loyal to black men because that's a black woman's only option. We don't see a lot of examples of BW/WM couples like we see BM/WW couples, and a black woman who is curious but cautious could benefit from the opportunity to meet other black women who have gone that route or who are interesting in going that route. If it's not something she can talk to her girlfriends about, she can at least meet other women who can relate. Nice to know it went well.

It's all about human connection/ sister connection. If other black women come to the workshop then it's very unlikely anyone will feel lonely. I date outside of my race and it's hard to talk to some of my girlfriends let alone strangers. This workshop is brilliant and although we don't need it...I wish we had one in London.
I find black women are more likely to get verbal abuse for dating out as opposed to black men. More workshops please!!!

 

[inspiration150]

I think the workshop is great. I just don't like the name. " How to date a white man" I would have preferred "how to date ir" or "dating ir" or something like that. It makes it seem like its just white men. I think some woman need help getting comfortable with the idea of ir. But I don't know if I would feel comfortable going into the room with a banner waving " How to date a white man" Like I am only looking for a certain race again. "Like girl I am going to snag me a white man..." I don't think it shows openness to love in other cultures. Just the white man. I have no prob with IR dating. I am doing it myself now. The title justs goes to the wm. If I was really up to love in other cultures, I would want a diversity. Not showing I am looking for love with the white man. But I am looking for love period. I saw they had other races in the poster, but the title suggests its geared to white men. The title seems like some bw are desperate for a wm.

 

[TrueBeliever]

I have always been of the mindset that men should do the pursuing...that, if anything, it's men who should attend a seminar on how to pursue a woman. Not the other way around.
You got women lined up trying to see how they can snag a white man, like it is the white man that is the prize and not the woman.
I don't like this role reversal. A man will not prize something/someone he didn't have to work for and be proud to have won.

That's what's off for me about this.

 

[Bunny77]

I think the workshop is great. I just don't like the name. " How to date a white man" I would have preferred "how to date ir" or "dating ir" or something like that. It makes it seem like its just white men. I think some woman need help getting comfortable with the idea of ir. But I don't know if I would feel comfortable going into the room with a banner waving " How to date a white man" Like I am only looking for a certain race again. "Like girl I am going to snag me a white man..." I don't think it shows openness to love in other cultures. Just the white man. I have no prob with IR dating. I am doing it myself now. The title justs goes to the wm. If I was really up to love in other cultures, I would want a diversity. Not showing I am looking for love with the white man. But I am looking for love period. I saw they had other races in the poster, but the title suggests its geared to white men. The title seems like some bw are desperate for a wm.

It wasn't called "How to Date a White Man."

That's what the person who started the thread called it.

The name of the seminar was "Free Your Mind, the Black Girl's Guide to Interracial Dating."

If you read the flyer, you will never see the words "white men" mentioned. You'll see it talking about "non-blacks" or "men of other races," but there was nothing in it that said, "Here is how you get a white man."

 

[FluffyRed]

Wow! NPR Is covering this right now!

 

[TrueBeliever]

There are already comments on the npr.org site. This one really got on my nerves. I suspect is a black guy who didn't like what he read.

Keith Turner (Bricks) wrote:

I think people should date whom ever they like to date or love. I don't think that you should allow the ignorance of others to limit your life. A more important observation that I had about this featured report was that the creator of the seminar (Ms. Weaver) is still a 'Ms.' This could be for a lot of reasons but the bottom line is she has chosen to date any (and potentially) all men available regardless of race, ethinicity, creed, etc., but yet she is still 'Single.' Maybe a crusade of self evaluation and improvement would be more valuable than a campaign to diversify the types of men that 'Black' women are dating. Often, we need to be the change that we want to see. Improve your personal flaws, and maybe the dating seen changes for the better for all. There are a lot of topics that I think deserve more energy and commitment than a seminar on how and why Black woman should consider dating non-Black men. Just my thoughts.

 

[andromeda]

There are already comments on the npr.org site. This one really got on my nerves. I suspect is a black guy who didn't like what he read.

Keith Turner (Bricks) wrote:

I think people should date whom ever they like to date or love. I don't think that you should allow the ignorance of others to limit your life. A more important observation that I had about this featured report was that the creator of the seminar (Ms. Weaver) is still a 'Ms.' This could be for a lot of reasons but the bottom line is she has chosen to date any (and potentially) all men available regardless of race, ethinicity, creed, etc., but yet she is still 'Single.' Maybe a crusade of self evaluation and improvement would be more valuable than a campaign to diversify the types of men that 'Black' women are dating. Often, we need to be the change that we want to see. Improve your personal flaws, and maybe the dating seen changes for the better for all. There are a lot of topics that I think deserve more energy and commitment than a seminar on how and why Black woman should consider dating non-Black men. Just my thoughts.

I always hate arguments that are predicated on a superficial concept of "either/or" and mutual exclusivity. Attending this conference does not mean one isn't aware of and working on their personal flaws. Holding this conference is not stating that introspection or, for that matter, world peace aren't more deserving of our energy.

 

[Raspberry]

I caught just a little bit of the NPR report on this but I couldn't bring myself to listen to the whole thing.. yes must admit, the idea of this topic being nationally broadcasted embarrasses me. I'll listen to it though

 

[Bunny77]

I caught just a little bit of the NPR report on this but I couldn't bring myself to listen to the whole thing.. yes must admit, the idea of this topic being nationally broadcasted embarrasses me. I'll listen to it though

I didn't listen. Don't know if I can, for the exact same reason.

All y'all on this board know that I'm 1000000% pro-interracial dating and all, and I'm not really against the seminar in theory. As I mentioned in an earlier post, black folks have seminars/discussion groups about everything else (including dating), so why not have one on interracial dating for black women/

But hmmm... the national attention to this just kinda doesn't sit right with me... maybe because I feel that the more that "mainstream" outlets broadcast the low rate of marriage among black women, the less desirable we appear... and then if we're perceived as needing to go to seminars to "learn" how to date non-black men, I dunno... it makes us come off as a bit mindless... like why are we the only ones who have to be "told" to date out... everyone else just does it, you know?

So I feel ya.

 

[FluffyRed]

I am also embarrassed a little by this, and it seems silly.

But I think about this article by an author named Debra Dickerson, I think, called "I want you to want me."

Lots of white men and lots of black women think the other is not interested.

Everyone is now on notice. Get in where you fit in.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I agree with you ladies, it's nice to see black women try to support one another, but the amount of media attention on this issue does cause some embarrassment. I just chalk it up to the fact that we are the least likely to date out while having a shortage of marriageable black men. We are in a unique position, holding a lot of the black wealth, being more educated than black men, etc... It is still kinda embarrassing, but black women who are interested in dating IR but still unsure sometimes need a little push.

For black women who have been around few non-black men, they don't know the first thing about interracial dating or what issues they will face in the IR dating world. Don't believe the hype, non-black women have been buying books, holding private meetings, etc... on how to snag a certain type of man. They aren't all that knowledgeable on the dating world--and if this is one way to get some dialogue going with black women, and focusing on ourselves for once, I say let it be.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Here's the article from npr.org

For many black women in America, finding love has become a serious issue.
Census data show that roughly 40 percent of black adult women in the U.S. have never been married. That's nearly twice the percentage of white women.
One entrepreneur in Los Angeles is fighting the odds. Her mission: move black women from no man's land to a diverse dating world.
Black Girl's Guide To Interracial Dating
More than 100 black women pack a small Italian restaurant near West Los Angeles. It's standing-room only. They're not there for the food; they're there for a seminar called "Free Your Mind: The Black Girl's Guide to Interracial Dating."

Fleace Weaver, an L.A. socialite and the organizer of the night's event, got the idea after noticing that many of her black friends had it all — a career, house, independence — but no man.
Weaver is black. She dates men of all colors — black, white, brown — and wants more black women to do the same. "I am an international lover. All right; I am an equal opportunity lover," Weaver says. "That means I love who is good to me. I don't want anybody just because they're a certain color."


Some black professional women say it's harder to find a black man at their same education and income level. You can see the trend on college campuses. According to the Department of Education, in the fall of 2007, 64 percent of black students enrolled in college were women.
But Weaver argues that Mr. Right doesn't have to be Mr. Black. "There's no reason for us to believe we have to be alone. The only thing that's keeping us from finding someone is that we limit ourselves," Weaver says.


Crossing Racial Lines For Love
Interracial dating is a sensitive issue in the black community. Blacks have a brutal history with race relations; some blacks see dating outside the race as betraying the culture.
Still, more black men are thinking outside the%