How many LHCF ladies were/are victims of DV?

Were/are u a victim of DV?

  • Yes

    Votes: 95 48.7%

  • No

    Votes: 100 51.3%
  • Total voters
    195
  • Poll closed .
JewelleNY

JewelleNY

Well-Known Member
I just wanted to see how many LHCF ladies have been victims of DV.

I will make the poll anonymous, I think it will be interesting to see the numbers

I'll start.
 
I wasn't directly...but my mom was and alot of times, it would spill over onto me when she wasn't around.

I vowed to never allow myself to be put into a situation like that. In previous relationships, as soon as I would see a red flag didn't matter how small it was...I was out!
 
I was when I was a teenager. The guy I was with was my 1st love and treated me like crap! All of my cousins were telling me to leave (b/c they saw that he was controlling)....I wanted to but I was scared. This guy did it all mentally, physically, and sexually abused me! I kept the abuse from everyone. People thought he was the best guy in the world but he was the devil! It took so long for me to be able to trust and love a man again! Right now I sit and think about how far God have brought me! I have a wonderful fiance', 2 beautiful girls, and all the self-confidence God could give a woman! I look back and wish I would have fought back but I never did! I think that if I saw him today I would want to go a round with him b/c a sister got heart now! If I was to give advice to women in abusive relationships I would say these 2 simple things "LOVE DOES NOT HURT" and "DONT BE EMBARRASSED TO GET HELP"!!!
 
I'm learning to admit that screaming and hollering is domestic violence too! Just 'cause a punch wasn't thrown doesn't mean no VIOLENCE has occurred.

She says, "Amen!" as she sits in her OWN, new, albeit little apartment with abundant peace.

Namaste,

LL
 
LovinLocks said:
I'm learning to admit that screaming and hollering is domestic violence too! Just 'cause a punch wasn't thrown doesn't mean no VIOLENCE has occurred.

She says, "Amen!" as she sits in her OWN, new, albeit little apartment with abundant peace.

Namaste,

LL
Click to expand...

That was beautiful in it's own way.
 
Wow, 51%??

That's farking heartbreaking. Much love, peace, strength and support to those still in the situations, and big ups to those who have managed to free themselves and their children from violence....
 
I was.

When I was 16 I dated a man 4 years older than me. Gave this guy my virginity, months later he became abusive physically, mentally, verbally and sexually. He got me pregnant and then dumped me, and then begged for me to come back when I wasn't any longer.

The only good that ever came out of that year of my life was meeting his best friend. He saw what was going on, and decided to take me under his wing. He took care of me while I was preggo and was there for me in EVERY way that his friend wasn't. Feelings eventually developed but we didn't get too far back then because despite his friend's actions towards me, he didn't want to do something shady.

Fast forward by 7 years, and that man is in neither one of our lives, and we're giving ourselves the chance we never had. :yep:

Worst time of my life, but I'm no longer a victim, and have since learned to love myself so that I can in turn be loved. But my experience is one of the reasons why my goal later on in life is to open up a counseling center for teenage girls who fall victims to abuse.
 
The hard part about abuse is that when it is physical, most folks will go to the ends of the world to kick the man's ***. Yet, when it is just mental, folks don't know how to react. Mental is also harder to pinpoint bc when does it go from simple criticism to abuse. I was criticized by my ex and I would dish it as he dole it but once it became this mental game to him, I bounced. I had to for my freaking sanity. But the point at which it became abusive....I'm not sure.

Does anyone know or have some "scholarly" references on mental abuse? I'd be interested in reading it.
 
My mom was by my dad, it's a big fear for me to end up with someone like him. I once dated a guy that got violent with me because I didnt want to have sex with him, he threw me around a room, when he looked away I threw his TV down and ran out of there in my socks (he had one of those houses where u have to take ur shoes off). I've never seen him again.
 
Princess Tam Tam said:
My mom was with her second husband.

She doesn't feel it was DV because she fought back all the time. :rolleyes: :nono: :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Interesting you mentioned that... I was sitting here wondering if it counted too! I was in a relationship once where the gentleman struck me (significantly too) and I got up and beat his a$$. I was a tiny thing (at the time) and have no idea how I did it but he was injured significantly enough to have to leave the scene in an ambulance and I left in the police car. Fancy that :ohwell: So I am not sure if it counts as DV. But yes, these numbers do not surprise me a bit.

ETA: Just realizing that I called that butthead a "gentleman"...ROFL. Indeed!
 
Last edited:
InvisibleLee said:
Interesting you mentioned that... I was sitting here wondering if it counted too! I was in a relationship once where the gentleman struck me (significantly too) and I got up and beat his a$$. I was a tiny thing (at the time) and have no idea how I did it but he was injured significantly enough to have to leave the scene in an ambulance and I left in the police car. Fancy that :ohwell: So I am not sure if it counts as DV. But yes, these numbers do not surprise me a bit.

ETA: Just realizing that I called that butthead a "gentleman"...ROFL. Indeed!
Click to expand...

Looking for the "high five" siggy:look:. I know violence is wrong but I couldn't help but smile after reading your post. I'm glad you got away safely.

When I was a little girl my father hit my mother by accident. We were all just playing around. Anyway, her lip started bleeding. My father just looked at her and said go clean yourself up. He did not apologize and was not sorry at all. I think I was maybe 5 or 6 but from that day forward I promised myself that I would never be in a relationship with a man who hit me. It's funny how things stick with you and affect you throughout your life.
 
LovinLocks said:
I'm learning to admit that screaming and hollering is domestic violence too! Just 'cause a punch wasn't thrown doesn't mean no VIOLENCE has occurred.

She says, "Amen!" as she sits in her OWN, new, albeit little apartment with abundant peace.

Namaste,

LL
Click to expand...

I remember my apartment :grin:! It was a peace I had never known.

I was but I never will be again
 
Last edited:
LovinLocks said:
I'm learning to admit that screaming and hollering is domestic violence too! Just 'cause a punch wasn't thrown doesn't mean no VIOLENCE has occurred.

She says, "Amen!" as she sits in her OWN, new, albeit little apartment with abundant peace.

Namaste,

LL
Click to expand...

Preach.

That sums it up perfectly for me.

I've been through it, and am not ashamed in the least to talk about it. I have had quite a few women pm me and say they have been/are going through something similar and it helps to know I am not alone, or that I can help someone else.
 
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