Finances: How much does a man have to bring to the table for marriage?

How much does a potential husband need to pull down?

  • Less than 10K

    Votes: 1 0.7%

  • 10-20K

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • 20-30K

    Votes: 4 2.8%

  • 30-40K

    Votes: 22 15.3%

  • 40-60K

    Votes: 29 20.1%

  • 60-80K

    Votes: 29 20.1%

  • 80-100K

    Votes: 26 18.1%

  • 100-150K

    Votes: 13 9.0%

  • 150-200K

    Votes: 5 3.5%

  • 200K+

    Votes: 15 10.4%
  • Total voters
    144
  • Poll closed .
No range. I would just need him to be able to pay for what he needs to pay for. Income to debt ratio is more important because shoot, I'm living paycheck to paycheck. Help a sista out! LOL
 
You need to have at least 4 year college degree. That is my only absolute requirement. A good income would be at least 50K (maybe 45)
 
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For me salary is not important. Salary means nothing because I have been with men who I would consider very financially secure (wealthy even) and some of them can be tight. One guy's ex left him because he was so mean even though he had a multi million dollar business and a staff of 20+ people. This guy expected his wife pay for half of everything even though she was not wealthy and he knew it before he married her. There are so many issues that can come up in a relationship that salary is not that high up for me. Ambition and being a hard worker is more important to me. So is honesty, integrity and kindness. Also he could be earning 200,000 one year and nothing the next, am I going to leave him then?

A lot of diamonds in the rough will be overlooked/missed if one is to use salary as a criteria. It is best to look at the wider picture.
 
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Just as long as he's debt free, or at least have a plan to be debt free one day soon in our future and actively workin on it, I would be fine with it.
 
1. He must have great credit.
2. At least 1 year of living expenses saved.
3. No credit card debt. (Student loan and mortgage are ok).

I can't pinpoint a specific salary because that would depend on where we live. If it's here in Los Angeles, then it'd have to be at least 30k. As long as he's financially responsible and we share the same goals and views on finances then I'll be satisfied. I just don't want to live paycheck to paycheck and I don't want to our lives to fall apart if one of us loses their job.
 
I do not expect a man to bring any more to the table than what I am bringing. I mean if I am making 80K (I'm not-I'm a broke grad student:lachen:) I won't say that he HAS to make 200K.

I have both credit card debt and educational debt. I would be a hypocrite to say that I will not accept a man who has those things as well.

However, if he is making less than me that is not necessarily a problem either. It depends on what he is doing like other posters have said. If he is doing something that he loves and is good at it I would support him and love him to pieces!
 
In my community a man is supposed to have a house and car ready when he gets married and is supposed to show the prespective Brides parents that he can provide for her. But she is expected to be super educated also. Both people have to bring to the table. Some of the men in my community get married later or they get help from their parents. Even thought to some it is old fashioned but people actually have check marks.

Daughter-Law School, Medical School or college period good school.

The man has to be able to understand that he is not marrying some trick from the street and the family has to make sure that he can provide. In my community some of the families do background checks to make sure the man is not lying.

I know it is kind of a rough tactic but divorce is highly frowned upon and if there is they have to make sure that they daughter is okay after the papers are signed.

In our community the Groom pays for the wedding.
 
But it is getting to be a problem in my community because some of the parents are expecting these men to buy bigger houses and have more lavish weddings.

That is sad
 
I don't really have an exact number in my head. He has to be financially stable, financially responsible, he has to know the difference between budgeting and being cheap and he has to be able to provide the same type of lifestyle I can provide for myself or better. No downgrades over here.
 
I remember in high school, talking with friends about how we wanted rich husbands and all that LOL.

When i started dating my husband, right after i graduated hs, he was a warehouse boy making $175.00 a week!! (Where we live, cost of living is pretty low and we don't have taxes). I was making about $250.

When we got engaged he was making about $220.00 a week, and when we got married he was making about $500-$800 a week working 2 jobs....so he was not rolling in dough at all!! LOL

My dad pretty much paid for most of our wedding, along with my mom and his mother too. Not because we couldnt afford it...We wanted a very small wedding, but everyone else wanted something bigger than what we had in mind.

His paycheck was enough for us though. We managed to buy our own condo, we are able to pay all our bills on time, and i am able to stay home with our son.

He has recently taken a pay cut and is pretty much only working one job but, things are still being paid even though we are left with a little less money after all of it is done. He is REALLY good with money (way better than i am).
 
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Almaz said:
In my community a man is supposed to have a house and car ready when he gets married and is supposed to show the prespective Brides parents that he can provide for her. But she is expected to be super educated also. Both people have to bring to the table. Some of the men in my community get married later or they get help from their parents. Even thought to some it is old fashioned but people actually have check marks.

Daughter-Law School, Medical School or college period good school.

The man has to be able to understand that he is not marrying some trick from the street and the family has to make sure that he can provide. In my community some of the families do background checks to make sure the man is not lying.

I know it is kind of a rough tactic but divorce is highly frowned upon and if there is they have to make sure that they daughter is okay after the papers are signed.

In our community the Groom pays for the wedding.
Click to expand...

where is your community
 
Shirazi-Yemenite Ethiopians-Eritreans Jews. We are in New York and LA. With a small community in Chicago about 300. The rest are either in London, South America and Maiinly Israel Very tight knit community that tends not to marry out.

They have to come to the table prepared. Rooty Poots need not apply and a background and family check will be done.
 
If a brother ain't already together when you get there chances are it may not happen so be careful. A man has to know where he is going and what he is doing. I hate a wishy washy man. Because he will be a wishy washy husband. And all you will have is anxiety wondering is he is he not going to get his act together.
 
i wasn't out for money when i married my man. i think that shouldn't be the main focus when wanting to marry someone. there are men who are hard working and solely works to provide for his family. i've looked past a number on money and focus on whether or not he'd be the one for me mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. with that said...if a man has the qualities one is looking for and no money, in due time money will come.
---plz note i am not strugggling + we travel the world. dh works full time and i'm a stay at home mom who works just as hard at home and living comfortably.
 
I sure did put down 200k+ because I'm a gold digger. Hehehe

I kid I kid.

I believe in being equally yoked spiritually, mentally, and financially. I live a certain lifestyle and for me to marry a man he needs to be able to maintain it or exceed it. I love to travel, invest, art, opera, and other taste that require money. I'm not marrying down economically. If I can do those things now, I should be able to do so once I'm married.

The only exception to that rule I will make is if the guy is a teacher. I love and respect teachers so much and unfortunately good teachers don't get the recognition or the pay they deserve.
 
Besides the essentials. When it comes to his salary, I expect for him to have himself to together (especially pass a certain age like 35). He should own his property, car and make a good salary and is responsible with credit. He should be able to support a family of 3 on his income. I"m not saying I wouldn't contribute or I won't work. But I'm older now and I lived through proverty and struggling and have no desire to do that again with my children.

I would like for him to be educated. An older woman told me once if you got your papers (degrees) make sure he has one too. Because a man doesn't like it when you are better than him in certain areas. In my life experience this was SO true.
 
Financially responsible, earning potential, and making at least what I make. I dont need a man with an ego issue because I make more than he does.
 
He definitely has to earn a good enough income that should we decide that I want to be a stay-at-home wife or mother, I can do that without being in dire straits.

I had a friend who always knew that's what she wanted (wife and/or mother not working outside the home) and guess what? She got exactly that. She had no fear in telling her future husband that this is what she wanted.

Right now, I can say I'd like to work outside the home as long as I don't have children but not too sure once I have children but I would like that option.
 
hairlove said:
He definitely has to earn a good enough income that should we decide that I want to be a stay-at-home wife or mother, I can do that without being in dire straits.

I had a friend who always knew that's what she wanted (wife and/or mother not working outside the home) and guess what? She got exactly that. She had no fear in telling her future husband that this is what she wanted.

Right now, I can say I'd like to work outside the home as long as I don't have children but not too sure once I have children but I would like that option.
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DH and I had this conversation before we got married, and we agreed that at least one of us would be home for the kids, (we didn't want to do daycare or have others raise our kids)--meaning if he worked nights, I would work days and he'd be home during the day, or if he worked days, I'd either work part-time or not at all so that I could be home with the kids. And it's worked out well.
 
~~HoneyComb~~ said:
DH and I had this conversation before we got married, and we agreed that at least one of us would be home for the kids, (we didn't want to do daycare or have others raise our kids)--meaning if he worked nights, I would work days and he'd be home during the day, or if he worked days, I'd either work part-time or not at all so that I could be home with the kids. And it's worked out well.
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That's really awesome! I think it's so important to say how we really feel and what we really want in marriage. Otherwise, we are just fooling each other into unhappiness!
 
hairlove said:
He definitely has to earn a good enough income that should we decide that I want to be a stay-at-home wife or mother, I can do that without being in dire straits.

I had a friend who always knew that's what she wanted (wife and/or mother not working outside the home) and guess what? She got exactly that. She had no fear in telling her future husband that this is what she wanted.

Right now, I can say I'd like to work outside the home as long as I don't have children but not too sure once I have children but I would like that option.
Click to expand...

A young lady told my son exactly those thoughts and it scared the daylights out of him. It's not that he couldn't appreciate the concept, but he didn't like the idea of ONLY a housewife....FOREVER. He said it wasn't exactly intellectually stimulating. No he doesn't want his kids to be in daycare....but for the wife to whilst the day away......no he wasn't down with that!

It causes a lot of pressure on men (and women) to be the only provider. I mean who wouldn't want to be taken care of and never having to work. One co-worker is openly hostile about his wife never working. He "calculated" that if she worked just part time for 5 years --he could retire in 5 years--their kids are 32 and 27!
 
My minimum is that he is financially stable and that he does not expect me to pay for the majority of our expenses (same goes for me). I would want us to at least be able to live on one salary if we so choose and save the other salary.
 
Ebonybee said:
A young lady told my son exactly those thoughts and it scared the daylights out of him. It's not that he couldn't appreciate the concept, but he didn't like the idea of ONLY a housewife....FOREVER. He said it wasn't exactly intellectually stimulating. No he doesn't want his kids to be in daycare....but for the wife to whilst the day away......no he wasn't down with that!
Click to expand...

I don't think housewives do nothing while home...if they do well I can see why you wouldn't want one. X]
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Anyway, I don't have a specific number really, I want to be comfortable, I needn't want for anything but I don't need to be rich. I think he needs to make enough to take care of us/family. I'd like him financially stable and responsible. (That said I know the average student graduates with 20k debt and I'm transferring to a school that is 12k a year...)

Hmm I have no desire to have a job really. Er not in the traditional sense, I love volunteering and doing social work. And my dream is to be a missionary (work in a orphanage/refugee camp) Not sure how much that pays or if at all XD If I don't get married right away after finishing my degree I'll get a job as a teacher but I see myself going oversees and teaching for free... But yeah I want to be a housewife honestly. :/

My brothers say I need to marry rich because they see me being poor in the future. probably...
 
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brg240 said:
I don't think housewives do nothing while home...if they do well I can see why you wouldn't want one. X]
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Anyway, I don't have a specific number really, I want to be comfortable, I needent want for anything but I don't need to be rich. I think he needs to make enough to take care of us/family. I'd like him financially stable and responsible. (That said I know the average student graduates with 20k debt and I'm transferring to a school that is 12k a year...)

Hmm I have no desire to have a job really. Er not in the traditional sense, I love volunteering and doing social work. And my dream is to be a missionary (work in a orphanage/refugee camp) Not sure how much that pays or if at all XD If I don't get married right away after finishing my degree I'll get a job as a teacher but I see myself going oversees and teaching for free... But yeah I want to be a housewife honestly. :/

My brothers say I need to marry rich because they see me being poor in the future. probably...
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Hmmm....I want what you want! I think you should take your brothers' advice.....set marry rich as a goal!
 
Ebonybee said:
A young lady told my son exactly those thoughts and it scared the daylights out of him. It's not that he couldn't appreciate the concept, but he didn't like the idea of ONLY a housewife....FOREVER. He said it wasn't exactly intellectually stimulating. No he doesn't want his kids to be in daycare....but for the wife to whilst the day away......no he wasn't down with that!

It causes a lot of pressure on men (and women) to be the only provider. I mean who wouldn't want to be taken care of and never having to work. One co-worker is openly hostile about his wife never working. He "calculated" that if she worked just part time for 5 years --he could retire in 5 years--their kids are 32 and 27!
Click to expand...

He doesn't seem to be properly informed.
 
Ebonybee said:
A young lady told my son exactly those thoughts and it scared the daylights out of him. It's not that he couldn't appreciate the concept, but he didn't like the idea of ONLY a housewife....FOREVER. He said it wasn't exactly intellectually stimulating. No he doesn't want his kids to be in daycare....but for the wife to whilst the day away......no he wasn't down with that!

It causes a lot of pressure on men (and women) to be the only provider. I mean who wouldn't want to be taken care of and never having to work. One co-worker is openly hostile about his wife never working. He "calculated" that if she worked just part time for 5 years --he could retire in 5 years--their kids are 32 and 27![/quote]

Not all men feel this way, but your son has a right to have those feelings.

As a SAHM for a good part of my marriage, I have not sat at home all day eating bon-bons. I provide a comfortable home for my family, the house is clean, the laundry is done, errands are ran, I've helped with homework and projects, take care of them when they are sick, the list is endless.

I feel because I don't have the stress of a job, only come home to do the same things listed above, it makes for a more peaceful environment at home. My husband can come home from his stressful day and just chill.

Not once has he been irritated during the times when I don't work, I plan on working again, but if I didn't, I know it doesn't bother him. He doesn't feel pressure to be the only one working, because he feel it is his job to be a provider for his family. In the event that he was out of a job, I could easily find work to help out. We've made sacrifices , so that we've always been able to live quite comfortably off of one income.

I feel sorry that your co-worker feels this way, I wonder was this discussed before they got married--whether or not his wife would stay at home.
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