How long do you wait before giving it up?

Kinkyhairlady

Kinkyhairlady

Well-Known Member
I know this is a personal question so answer how you please. What is an appropriate amount of time to make a man wait? I personally think a year is good but I'm just super paranoid so I want to make sure it's the right person before going there. I ask this question because my close male friend just started dating this girl 3 weeks ago and he said he's already slept with her and I was disgusted. I personally think any women who spreads her legs so soon after meeting a man is easy. Not necessarily a hoe but just easy to get to bed and men should be cautious. My friend agreed she did give it up easy but he likes her. He did admit that he is going to be careful because it was too easy to get her into bed. So my question is how soon is to soon?
 
i agree with 1 year. I don't get how men reason. She's easy cuz she had sex with YOU after 3 weeks. What does that say about u as a man, if you are willing to have sex with someone after 3 weeks. SMH:nono:
 
Kurlee said:
i agree with 1 year. I don't get how men reason. She's easy cuz she had sex with YOU after 3 weeks. What does that say about u as a man, if you are willing to have sex with someone after 3 weeks. SMH:nono:
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He said he puts every women through a test, he seduces them and sees how far he can get. If they agree he goes with it. Funny his ex made him wait 2 years and he used to call me complaining every week but she was a classy women and he even says he's yet to meet another woman like her.
 
Kinkyhairlady said:
He said he puts every women through a test, he seduces them and sees how far he can get. If they agree he goes with it. Funny his ex made him wait 2 years and he used to call me complaining every week but she was a classy women and he even says he's yet to meet another woman like her.
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Why is she his ex?
 
Kinkyhairlady said:
He said he puts every women through a test, he seduces them and sees how far he can get. If they agree he goes with it. Funny his ex made him wait 2 years and he used to call me complaining every week but she was a classy women and he even says he's yet to meet another woman like her.
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See, ish like this right here makes me wanna punch some men in their throats.

But umm, I'm not touching the rest of this thread. :look:
 
ThickHair said:
Why is she his ex?
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Cause he is a darn fool, he called off their wedding 1 month prior cause he got cold feet. She sued him and he well has been dating a bunch women but nothing stable, still regrets his decision. He says he likes this new girl but she really seems easy and in a hurry to me. I don't trust her motives but that is another story.
 
MzLady78 said:
See, ish like this right here makes me wanna punch some men in their throats.

But umm, I'm not touching the rest of this thread. :look:
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:yep: why start a potential relationship that way? And how hypocritical is that? And the only thing you learned about the woman is that she was horny as hell. THAT'S IT.
 
I was about to respond to your OP by supporting your friend lol, but then you added the info about the 'test' OMG major sideeye. Your friend sounds like a jerk, no offense :look: So he makes them horny as f*** and it's their job to be like no, stop, behave? OMG...

Anyway, I think 1 year is majorly excessive :look: TWO years?! :lol: Maybe if it was the first time having sex ever (i.e virgin)...I guess lol. But umm to answer your question, personally I think whenever both parties are ready is fine. Unless he's a jerk like your friend who bases the time she 'holds out' to her being a slut hoebag smh. But if the person just likes guys like that, then I'll say 3 months lol.

(I mean seriously why she gotta be an unclassy heaux? Maybe she really likes him, feels a connection, and is ready to have sex?? Is she banging dope boys on the side or getting trains ran on her or something? Where is the heaux behavior? smh. And then like wtf: He takes them to his lair and hornifies the crap outta them expecting them to "hold out"?! wtf is wrong with him? :nono: I'm sorry, it's too early for this crap :lol: )
 
MzLady78 said:
See, ish like this right here makes me wanna punch some men in their throats.

But umm, I'm not touching the rest of this thread. :look:
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But seroiousky I think every man does it. I am celibate now and dating has become a challenge because though i tell these guys I am not trying to go there they still try everything they can to get me to sleep with them. I admit certain touches may make me weak in the knees but I know it is not worth me giving it up to someone who most likely does not deserve it. Men will try you however way they can, it is up to the woman to stop him.
 
Kinkyhairlady said:
But seroiousky I think every man does it. I am celibate now and dating has become a challenge because though i tell these guys I am not trying to go there they still try everything they can to get me to sleep with them. I admit certain touches may make me weak in the knees but I know it is not worth me giving it up to someone who most likely does not deserve it. Men will try you however way they can, it is up to the woman to stop him.
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I wholeheartedly disagree. Not every man does that asinine crap :mad:
 
qchelle said:
I wholeheartedly disagree. Not every man does that asinine crap :mad:
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Yeah not every man but most. Men think about sex every day, several times a day. It should not be shocking if they are with a women who they find attractive and are dating that they may want to go there. Especially when you start kissing of course they will try.

Eta: the ironic part about this is that if a man does not make a move on you,

a) you may think he is not that into you,

b) you are not attractive enough so he is not turn on

c) he might be gay

So really as much as we want to deny men do try to seduce us when given the opportunity it happens all the time.
 
If a guy you just started dating wants to do it within 3 weeks then what does that make him? Easy too right? I would say that if a guy and a girl are exclusive and in a relationship then it doesn't matter how long you wait but if y'all are just dating and not completely together then you shouldn't have sex at all. And holding out for a year seems crazy. I don't know one man who will wait a year for a women and if he does, I wouldn't be surprised if he's doing it with someone else on the side
 
Hey....do what u do. If Ur grown and wanna wait 4 weeks or 4 months it doesn't matter to me. I don't judge based on the time frame unless Ur doing it to fill an emotional void. good luck if thats the case lol. Other than that...do what u do

Sent from my ADR6350 using ADR6350
 
Kinkyhairlady said:
Cause he is a darn fool, he called off their wedding 1 month prior cause he got cold feet. She sued him and he well has been dating a bunch women but nothing stable, still regrets his decision. He says he likes this new girl but she really seems easy and in a hurry to me. I don't trust her motives but that is another story.
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Then I would take everything that he has to say about women, relationships and sex with a grain of salt. He is not right himself.
 
After marriage, I guess I'm becoming comfortable with the possibilty that I may be single for an indefinite amount of time (read: forever). Sex is a commodity that many women use to get/maintain a relationship in this day and age.
 
I don't think there is a set period to make a man wait - if the time is right and you feel like you can trust the man then do it. Also do it if you sleep with the dude on the first night or within a short amount of time and can still hold your head up high after that. I know people who waited for a long time and the relationships still failed and I also know of people who slept with each other very early on and are happily married. There is no set formula for this kind of thing - just be smart and use protection (unless you are saving yourself for marriage that is).
 
Unless both of you are abstaining for religious reasons I don't think there's a set amount of time. I know folks who hit it early on, got married, and stayed married, and folks who waited until after marriage and ended up getting divorced within a couple of years.

It's about exercising your own judgment and discernment regarding the man and the relationship.
 
Sounds like your friend is into playing games. Those are the worst type of dudes. As for how soon to hold on to it. That's up to the person. I would advise at least waiting a few weeks though. I waited until I was engaged for marriage though.
 
Kinkyhairlady said:
He said he puts every women through a test, he seduces them and sees how far he can get. If they agree he goes with it. Funny his ex made him wait 2 years and he used to call me complaining every week but she was a classy women and he even says he's yet to meet another woman like her.
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really? fa real tho. she made him wait two years, maybe true, but i doubt very seriously if he waited. he was gettin it in elsewhere.

so lemme ask u this. so because she allegedly made him wait two years, that made her classy?


He says he likes this new girl but she really seems easy and in a hurry to me. I don't trust her motives but that is another story.

really now. lemme find out u got something for ole boy because in your initial post you said that you were disgusted because he slept with her after knowing her for three weeks. then you said your friend agreed, but he really likes her, which leads me to believe that you like him.

why are you so "disgusted" that she phucked him afta three weeks and why you don't trust her motives...i'm not understanding ...what does she givin up her puddi to your good friend have to do with YOU?

just because you hold out for a long time doesn't mean he is going to respect you any more than if you screwed him after knowing him for three weeks.

so you wait and give it up after let's say a year. then he drops you. then whatchu gonna do. are u still gonna be classy and keep it movin?
 
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I don't think you can put a time on it. Like someone else mentioned: when the two adults are ready. Personally I give any guy who's putting a woman through a test to see if she'll pass the side eye. Seriously: if you don't want a serious monogamous relationship, be upfront about it. If you do, act like it. But don't give us this bs about "testing" women. smdh
 
Your friend is ridiculous, and I can't even apologize for saying that...he puts them through a "test"? And who the hell is he? The Wizard of Oz? What gives him the right to "test" somebody? Girl, I can't...I just can't.

If I could meet this poor girl, I would tell her to run, because any man that intentionally seduces you, sleeps with you and then judges you and allows another friend of his to judge you? That's not okay...and since this test is so damn important, then why doesn't he stop once he "decides" these women will have sex with him?
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
really? fa real tho. she made him wait two years, maybe true, but i doubt very seriously if he waited. he was gettin it in elsewhere.

so lemme ask u this. so because she allegedly made him wait two years, that made her classy?


He says he likes this new girl but she really seems easy and in a hurry to me. I don't trust her motives but that is another story.

really now. lemme find out u got something for ole boy because in your initial post you said that you were disgusted because he slept with her after knowing her for three weeks. then you said your friend agreed, but he really likes her, which leads me to believe that you like him.

why are you so "disgusted" that she phucked him afta three weeks and why you don't trust her motives...i'm not understanding ...what does she givin up her puddi to your good friend have to do with YOU?

just because you hold out for a long time doesn't mean he is going to respect you any more than if you screwed him after knowing him for three weeks.

so you wait and give it up after let's say a year. then he drops you. then whatchu gonna do. are u still gonna be classy and keep it movin?
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Thank you! Op your friend is an a***hole IMO. This is one of the worst type of men to deal with :nono: He sets her up, then judges her. You think she's easy for real :nono:
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
really? fa real tho. she made him wait two years, maybe true, but i doubt very seriously if he waited. he was gettin it in elsewhere.

so lemme ask u this. so because she allegedly made him wait two years, that made her classy?


He says he likes this new girl but she really seems easy and in a hurry to me. I don't trust her motives but that is another story.

really now. lemme find out u got something for ole boy because in your initial post you said that you were disgusted because he slept with her after knowing her for three weeks. then you said your friend agreed, but he really likes her, which leads me to believe that you like him.

why are you so "disgusted" that she phucked him afta three weeks and why you don't trust her motives...i'm not understanding ...what does she givin up her puddi to your good friend have to do with YOU?

just because you hold out for a long time doesn't mean he is going to respect you any more than if you screwed him after knowing him for three weeks.

so you wait and give it up after let's say a year. then he drops you. then whatchu gonna do. are u still gonna be classy and keep it movin?
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Yes he waited for for 2 years because they both were virgins and he is not a player so I know he was faithful. I've known him since I was 8 and I have never had feelings for him in that way.

I am disgusted because I don't see how anyone can sleep with someone so soon. There are too many STDs out there to just be so loose. I have lectured him a million times but he still is testing these women. He was with his ex for 7 yrs and when they broke up, the following year he's just been dating numerous women and sleeping with them. His ex was classy not because she made him wait but she is a classy and respectable women overall. Men are going to be men and though I am disgusted with both I just wish the girl had held out a bit longer, what is the rush when it comes to sex. I don't get it.
 
Kinkyhairlady said:
Yes he waited for for 2 years because they both were virgins and he is not a player so I know he was faithful. I've known him since I was 8 and I have never had feelings for him in that way.

I am disgusted because I don't see how anyone can sleep with someone so soon. There are too many STDs out there to just be so loose. I have lectured him a million times but he still is testing these women. He was with his ex for 7 yrs and when they broke up, the following year he's just been dating numerous women and sleeping with them. His ex was classy not because she made him wait but she is a classy and respectable women overall. Men are going to be men and though I am disgusted with both I just wish the girl had held out a bit longer, what is the rush when it comes to sex. I don't get it.
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I'm not really understanding why you're so invested in their sex lives, though. :perplexed

You have your 1 year waiting period and I can respect that. But I feel like you're making assumptions about this chick because she didn't wait what you consider an acceptable amount of time and that's not cool.
 
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Kinkyhairlady said:
I am disgusted because I don't see how anyone can sleep with someone so soon. There are too many STDs out there to just be so loose.
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Hitting it after 1 night or 1 year, you can still get a STD. It is really the roll of the dice and if the other person is being honest. So waiting or not waiting eh. Your boy is still "extra".
 
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