How easy it is for a chocolate sister to get a chocolate guy

[zailless]

This is the reverse of how easy it is for chocolate sisters to get a white guy.

I was watching TI's video and i thought why didnt he just use pure white women, instead of these gorgeous mixed girls. Are black men even looking for a normal looking black girl anymore? I doubt it. The video didnt even look like a rap video. i am not knocking the artist, I barely know him or the name of the song, i am just using it as an example.

I think black men's tastes have changed and its all because of these influences. maybe people are going for more universal appeal in general. what do you think

 

[Ms Red]

After reading Kanye's ignorant comment about wanting "mutts," I think that maybe you're right. Maybe some Black men have been brainwashed just like the rest of the world into accepting the media's image of what beauty is.

 

[zailless]

After reading Kanye's ignorant comment about wanting "mutts," I think that maybe you're right. Maybe some Black men have been brainwashed just like the rest of the world into accepting the media's image of what beauty is.

what is mutts.

 

[Meinzzfuture]

Why are we constantly focusing on who rappers use in their videos. As we've seen the women they have at home don't even look like half of these girls. I guarantee you chocolate guys talk to chocolate girls. If they don't where you're at, I suggest relocating to Brooklyn.

 

[Ariana4000]

Yeah, they do in DC anyway.

 

[Siren]

what is mutts.

A disrespectful term for mixed women.

 

[ms jadu]

Seems like it is slim-to-none here in Florida. Most AA men have such negative things to say about AA women. It is almost a rarity to me to see a young black couple. People are too consumed with wanting "pretty babies" or "gaining that higher society status symbol", whatever the hell that means.

Most AA men I come across will only date AA female if she has long hair or is light-skinned. It seems like they are interested in anything non-black or non-female.lol.I long for a time when I will see beautiful black couples, beautiful black families, and beautiful black communities again.** sigh**

 

[Nightingale]

Not easy at all. I'm stereotyped and insulted more from my "brothas" than any other race. I'm not the "typical" black girl because I speak and act "white" whatever that ish means. Then I get the you're cute for a dark girl as if all dark girls are ugly, followed by the "your hair is like mexicans" nonsense. I thought I was over this light skinned/dark skinned, good hair/bad hair thing, but I'm becoming more resentful of our men. Dark girls are viewed as nothing special, rowdy, troublesome, ghetto, unwanted. I'm so sick of it. I'm tired of being made to feel as if I'm a second class citizen. Why are black women at the bottom of the social ladder? Why must I prove myself to be good enough for our men? I'm not doing it, forget them!

 

[tuffCOOKiE]

Not easy at all. I'm stereotyped and insulted more from my "brothas" than any other race. I'm not the "typical" black girl because I speak and act "white" whatever that ish means. Then I get the you're cute for a dark girl as of all dark girls are ugly, followed by the "your hair is like mexicans" nonsense. I thought I was over this light skinned/dark skinned, good hair/bad hair thing, but I'm becoming more resentful of our men. Dark girls are viewed as nothing special, rowdy, troublesome, ghetto, unwanted. I'm so sick of it. I'm tired of being made to feel as if I'm a second class citizen. Why are black women at the bottom of the social ladder? Why must I prove myself to be good enough for our men? I'm not doing it, forget them!

I totally feel you on that. I mean, I'm not really resentful because there are other options out there. I don't discriminate by race either. Its just sad that some men just don't prefer dark skinned women w/ kinky hair.

What kills me the most is when I'm out on a date with a white guy and bump into a friend that I KNOW has only dated other exotic races and looks at me like: 'Oh, you gave up on us?!'

puh leese.

In my heart though, I would love to marry a haitian black dude. But only God knows.

 

[firecracker]

Calling all cars, calling all cars beware of the chocolate man!

Well damn da ladies of LHCF don't like no, don't want no chocolate man I guess . Chile had this been a thread about the wyte man you woulda gotten a load of responses within seconds .

I guess da wyte man is da prize :crazy: :fart: (don't count me cuz I date'm all)

 

[Dee-Licious]

We can easily get chocolate men; it just depends on what kind of chocolate man you want. It's easy to get a no-good, cheating, non-working, lazy man because he might think you're willing to take care of him. It's harder to get a hard-working, honest, goal-oriented chocolate man because the "diamond" is always harder to find.

It's all about your standards regardless of if you are light or dark skinned. If you are willing to settle you'll find a man easier. If you want the right man it'll be harder.

This is the reverse of how easy it is for chocolate sisters to get a white guy.

I was watching TI's video and i thought why didnt he just use pure white women, instead of these gorgeous mixed girls. Are black men even looking for a normal looking black girl anymore? I doubt it. The video didnt even look like a rap video. i am not knocking the artist, I barely know him or the name of the song, i am just using it as an example.

I think black men's tastes have changed and its all because of these influences. maybe people are going for more universal appeal in general. what do you think

 

[CandiceC]

We can easily get chocolate men; it just depends on what kind of chocolate man you want. It's easy to get a no-good, cheating, non-working, lazy man because he might think you're willing to take care of him. It's harder to get a hard-working, honest, goal-oriented chocolate man because the "diamond" is always harder to find.

It's all about your standards regardless of if you are light or dark skinned. If you are willing to settle you'll find a man easier. If you want the right man it'll be harder.

I agree with this.

 

[firecracker]

We can easily get chocolate men; it just depends on what kind of chocolate man you want. It's easy to get a no-good, cheating, non-working, lazy man because he might think you're willing to take care of him. It's harder to get a hard-working, honest, goal-oriented chocolate man because the "diamond" is always harder to find.

It's all about your standards regardless of if you are light or dark skinned. If you are willing to settle you'll find a man easier. If you want the right man it'll be harder.

Hey I think your on point oncetagain.

 

[Hil84figer]

That reminds me of the time I working as a teller and one female customer said I was pretty darkie. I was so shocked. I laughed it off. You know the I cant believe laugh. I wondered whether I should i be flattered she said pretty but angry when she said darkie or implied dark skin people can't be cute.

Not easy at all. I'm stereotyped and insulted more from my "brothas" than any other race. I'm not the "typical" black girl because I speak and act "white" whatever that ish means. Then I get the you're cute for a dark girl as if all dark girls are ugly, followed by the "your hair is like mexicans" nonsense. I thought I was over this light skinned/dark skinned, good hair/bad hair thing, but I'm becoming more resentful of our men. Dark girls are viewed as nothing special, rowdy, troublesome, ghetto, unwanted. I'm so sick of it. I'm tired of being made to feel as if I'm a second class citizen. Why are black women at the bottom of the social ladder? Why must I prove myself to be good enough for our men? I'm not doing it, forget them!

 

[Dee-Licious]

That reminds me of the time I working as a teller and one female customer said I was pretty darkie. I was so shocked. I laughed it off. You know the I cant believe laugh. I wondered whether I should i be flattered she said pretty but angry when she said darkie or implied dark skin people can't be cute.

I'll never forget when a dude said I didn't sound dark on the phone. I was like what the hell... his explanation is that my voice was soft. The things people say.

 

[mimi]

I don't if it's just me, but I don't think Florida is the best place for 100% black women to meet brotha's. I think I need to move up further north.

 

[cocoberry10]

Interesting thread (sorry for bumping so many old threads)

 

[PeopleTalkDaily]

This is a good thread..

As a dark skin girl I have mostly attracted light skin dudes...
I know BK is not bias at all on the types of women that is dated which is why i am packing my bags and moving as of yesterday

 

[Pat Mahurr]

Hey! Dark skinned girl married to dark skinned guy signing in!

Seven years and going strong.

We've got a dark skinnedededed daughter, too!

Before me, my DH dated women of every color. If he had met a woman w/polka dot skin, he woulda tried to get with her. Such a slut.

(I had dated men of different races, too, but not just to sample the flavors. It was for research purposes. )

I think that when people click, they just click. Color may have something to do with attraction, but nothing to do with longevity and true love. Find someone who loves you, loves himself, treats you well, and has character. Then fall in love with his skin -- whatever the color is. Better yet, let HIM find YOU.

 

[glamazon386]

This is the reverse of how easy it is for chocolate sisters to get a white guy.

I was watching TI's video and i thought why didnt he just use pure white women, instead of these gorgeous mixed girls. Are black men even looking for a normal looking black girl anymore? I doubt it. The video didnt even look like a rap video. i am not knocking the artist, I barely know him or the name of the song, i am just using it as an example.

I think black men's tastes have changed and its all because of these influences. maybe people are going for more universal appeal in general. what do you think

I've dated plenty dark skinned guys. But I have dated more light skinned guys than dark. I attract them more often.

 

[cocoberry10]

I’ve dated both equally (light and dark men) and honestly don’t have a preference for either. However, for some reason I always attract the pretty boys (and that’s okay with me). Whether dark-skinned or light-skinned, I usually attract a man that’s bald or with a close-crop haircut (I guess a Ceasar), really smooth skin/complexion, and beautiful teeth and features that dresses more “preppy” or conservative. I don’t usually attract the more freestyle guys (i.e. ones with long afros, twists, etc.) and long beards/mustaches. And I wouldn’t be opposed to dating them. I’ve only dated one guy with locks, and his were extremely neat and other than his “locks” he was a pretty boy too.

 

[Naturallong81]

i think it depends on where you are. in Miami i gonna have to say most of the video girls are Spanish. i asked my male cousin who's from Canada why he dates white women, he told me that's what he grew up around. I'm sure if i had lived where he was from my tastes would be different. People who hate sisters are being ignorant and they got issues that we shouldn't be concerned with. But i think the majority of men like beautiful women. Go to a mainly 'white' club and those boys in there will hit on you same as in the 'black' club.

 

[caltron]

Well I'm a chocolate girl and a good 80% of the black guys who approach me are dark or chocolate--and I get a lot of guys approaching me so it's not just a fluke. I was teased as a kid over my complexion, but now I get lots of compliments from guys over it. They're always screaming out things like "Dark and Lovely!!!" That NEVER happened as I was growing up. I've lived all over the country and it's the same everywhere for me.

You really can't generalize on topics like this. For instance, I know that there are black men out there who only want light skinned or non black women. But those types steer clear of me because they are too busy hollering at the light skinned chicks. But based on my experience, all I know is that I get a lot of chocolate brothers, so if I wanted to, I could just put on blinders and pretend that all's well and colorism in the AA community is dead.

One of my best friends is light skinned, and she gets really upset because she thinks that most black men want light skinned or white women, because the ones that approach her tell her that's what they like. She can't stand it when she sees a black man with a white woman.

I think that there are a good many black men for whom color is not an issue and a smaller, but more vocal, number for who it is.

 

[Shardonay11]

After reading Kanye's ignorant comment about wanting "mutts," I think that maybe you're right. Maybe some Black men have been brainwashed just like the rest of the world into accepting the media's image of what beauty is.

yeah right he may have said that, but look who he's about to marry a beauiful brown/chocolate sister. They can't fight it, they try but they cant fight us girl.

 

[cocoberry10]

yeah right he may have said that, but look who he's about to marry a beauiful brown/chocolate sister. They can't fight it, they try but they cant fight us girl.

Kanye’s fiance looks mixed. At least in the pic I saw of her. She looks about Halle’s complexion and yes she is a beautiful girl! But she does still look Black. I think he’s a little nut job anyway!

 

[cocoberry10]

Well I'm a chocolate girl and a good 80% of the black guys who approach me are dark or chocolate--and I get a lot of guys approaching me so it's not just a fluke. I was teased as a kid over my complexion, but now I get lots of compliments from guys over it. They're always screaming out things like "Dark and Lovely!!!" That NEVER happened as I was growing up. I've lived all over the country and it's the same everywhere for me.

You really can't generalize on topics like this. For instance, I know that there are black men out there who only want light skinned or non black women. But those types steer clear of me because they are too busy hollering at the light skinned chicks. But based on my experience, all I know is that I get a lot of chocolate brothers, so if I wanted to, I could just put on blinders and pretend that all's well and colorism in the AA community is dead.

One of my best friends is light skinned, and she gets really upset because she thinks that most black men want light skinned or white women, because the ones that approach her tell her that's what they like. She can't stand it when she sees a black man with a white woman.

I think that there are a good many black men for whom color is not an issue and a smaller, but more vocal, number for who it is.

Reading your post makes me happy, especially the bolded part. I think there are a lot of Black women suffering (both dark and light) for the reasons you stated, and I hope this helps them!

 

[Much2much41]

I'm dark brown, and I've dated both very light and very dark (one was so dark he had a "blue" hue, but he was FIONE!!!!). I don't know if it's easier or not, but my sister is very dark, and mainly attracted light men. She's married to a light caramel brother.

 

[firecracker]

Why are we constantly focusing on who rappers use in their videos. As we've seen the women they have at home don't even look like half of these girls. I guarantee you chocolate guys talk to chocolate girls.

girl say it all again! great advice on moving to change/alter dating dynamics.

 

[cocoberry10]

Why are we constantly focusing on who rappers use in their videos. As we've seen the women they have at home don't even look like half of these girls. I guarantee you chocolate guys talk to chocolate girls. If they don't where you're at, I suggest relocating to Brooklyn.

girl say it all again! great advice on moving to change/alter dating dynamics.

I agree with both of you, but I think that some (maybe even many) men are influenced by what they see on tv. So, some guys will not date chocolate women, b/c they don't see those women represented by the media. Men who are wholly influenced by the media aren't the type of men I like to date anyway. I like a man with his own opinion, whether that opinion is popular or not!

 

[sowhut]

I've dated plenty dark skinned guys. But I have dated more light skinned guys than dark. I attract them more often.

I find that so interesting. My brother is very light and he prefers to date girls that medium brown to dark skinned.