His Xmas gift truly sucked

[yokoyokogirl]

I probably shouldn't complain because "it's the thought that counts" but it seems like no thought was put into the gift at all. A card case for my store cards? Too small to be a wallet (which I needed and wanted), not my style and to mention I already have a card case that works just fine.

I think my reaction was enough to show that I wasn't impressed but I didn't want to be rude. He said "I have to ask what you want for Xmas?!" (Isn't that what most ppl do tho??)

He was really impressed by my gift~~~but how can you express how you feel w/o being selfish or rude?

 

[Afrolatina]

I probably shouldn't complain because "it's the thought that counts" but it seems like no thought was put into the gift at all. A card case for my store cards? Too small to be a wallet (which I needed and wanted), not my style and to mention I already have a card case that works just fine.

I think my reaction was enough to show that I wasn't impressed but I didn't want to be rude. He said "I have to ask what you want for Xmas?!" (Isn't that what most ppl do tho??)

He was really impressed by my gift~~~but how can you express how you feel w/o being selfish or rude?

Wellllll lol I love my hubby with all my heart but for Christmas (we weren't supposed to get each other anything) he bought me a locket which was gold filled and made of brass... fine and dandy right? welll I have metallurgy and he kind of knew but thought brass would be alright because it doesn't have nickel lol so here I am scratching my red neck and the whole nine..

I felt bad, especially because thats the first christmas gift he's ever given (first actual christmas we stayed home together to do our own thing with our daughter)..so I explained to him the situation.. I could tell it upset him but then I thought about it, I want to wear something proudly that he's given me without itching or redness.. So I sat him down again today, explained that I want to have something solid metal that I could pass down to our daughters and asked (instead of the telling I did the first time around) if I had his permission to:
A. Get something else
and
B. If he would pick, out of my selections, something out for me...
he agreed and now i'm going to get something different and it's still as special because he's picking it out..best advice? wait a day or two until it's not fresh on his mind and ask if you can exchange/return it but ONLY if he helps you pick out a comparable gift (because you want something that you can carry/keep with you that will remind you of him all the time). He might not like that you don't like it BUT the consideration that asking him/making him apart of the decision process for the second gift will make him feel like he didn't maybe make the wrong decision, per se BUT that you want something that you can "show off"... also, because he's picking out of several things of your choosing, you're still getting a gift you love
I hope this helps and keep us updated!

 

[Mleah]

He must be dreadfully unimaginative and droll, not into Christmas or not sensitive to your needs. Not to hurt you but he may not be into you as much as you are into him.

 

[mjsliberiangrl]

i've gone through this every year with my so's gifts. i am always disappointed and i try to hide it but, he can tell by my expressions too well.

even if i give him lists, he manages to not be able to find it or pick out the wrong one.
i love him, he's just clueless. i guess i am going to have to face it that i'll never truly be happy with his gifts, in order to stop myself from being disappointed. it sucks bc i put a ton of effort into giftgiving and end up feeling played every year. he is amazing and wonderful to me in every other way.

interested to see others' opinions and tips

 

[Sarophina]

(( Big hugs yokoyokogirl. I would be disappointed as well. I don't think I would care about cost, but I do care about consideration and the thought that went into the gift.

 

[Theo]

yeah i'm a difficult person to shop for and it took my SO awhile to get it.

it took him awhile to get it. i really liked the last gift he got me for my b-day so I'm hoping he gets it now. I won't see him until next week so I don't know what what my xmas gift is.

i didn't really do anything to make him understand. i would just never end up using the gifts he got me, but he ALWAYS would end up using the stuff I got him.... regularly (I'm very good at gift-giving ). Anyways, the whole thing ended up bothering him more than me after awhile, and now he pays attention when I say I like something or want/need something. I don't know if he takes notes or something, but he is really good at remembering the things I like now.

.:shrugs:.

 

[ThickHair]

Did he ask you what you wanted for Christmas?

I have never had a SO that when the holiday's rolled around didn't ask me what I wanted. Plus my birthday and Christmas are 15 days apart.

 

[Transformer]

I got a Blue Ray DVD player---that he bought for himself. He didn't even bother to gift wrap it. He thought it was funny.

 

[TayMac]

Aww..I know how you feel. I'm grateful to receive gifts but I gave my SO what he wanted specifically and he gave me something in the category I asked for but didn't get a nice style.

He did better last year with the boots and GPS...

 

[Transformer]

His birthday is next month and he's getting 15 yards of decorator fabric.

 

[hopeful]

My dh just keeps getting better. I would never have dreamed he would end up being such a good gift giver. I started being very specific and he would give me exactly what I wanted for years. Now he often surprises me with really thoughtful gifts to the point that even if I don't love the gift I can't help but love it because of the thought that went into it.

 

[yokoyokogirl]

He didn't ask me.

When I said something, he said "I have to ask you what you want?" And seemed really insulted.

I don't want to seem selfish but there didn't seem like there was much thought put into it. And we've been dating a year now. Seems like it would be awesome...

 

[Dragone]

Some people are very...boring and utilitarian about their gift-giving. I think I'm this way, I'm always trying to find something 'useful' to gift my friends, not necessarily fun things. Thankfully I have friends who understand, actually one friend gave me Tupperware for Christmas, which is exactly the sort of thing I would want, so I guess I am well matched!

Maybe your SO is the same way? As an oblivious person (in spite of being female, I guess), I rarely notice things like preferences in jewelry, attire, etc so then I'm $h!t out of luck at Christmas if I even wanted to get a person something flashier. I think you should just explain it to him, and if he's being silly about buying what makes you happy (without spending his yearly salary) then he's kind of lame. But I wouldn't write him off immediately.

 

[wednesday]

Awww i feel you. My boyfriend got me a set a pots and some new dishes ( i have been saying i need some for a while...but for Christmas???!!!!!!!!) He was really cute though, he looked so pleased with him self...bless his heart

 

[chelseatiara]

lmao ^^^ bless his heart

 

[coracao]

You should definitely tell him how you feel.

My boyfriend got me a chocolate covered candy apple, and chocolate almond candy. WORST GIFT EVER! I told him it was a horrible gift, it makes me feel like a side chick, and no thought went into it. He said there was thought--he knew I loved chocolate. That's true but I don't like candied apples. We are both a little broke, but he definitely has more money than that.

Talk to him and let him know of your expectations. Your man's gifts weren't quite as terrible. He may do better next time. My man--I need to reevaluate our relationship.

 

[Foxglove]

He may have done a last minute walgreens gift

 

[myronnie]

My boyfriend got me candy flavored lip balm (twizzlers, hershey, etc!) because of how I was obsessing over those soda flavored lip balms one day at Walmart...



It's the thought that counts but a gift card is kinda impersonal unless it's to someplace that he knows you love.

 

[darlingdiva]

He didn't ask me.

When I said something, he said "I have to ask you what you want?" And seemed really insulted.

I don't want to seem selfish but there didn't seem like there was much thought put into it. And we've been dating a year now. Seems like it would be awesome...

After one year, you'd think so. When I read your initial post, I thought you guys had only been dating for a few months.
Maybe he had a problem asking you what you want because he feels like the gift isn't coming from him if he has to ask you.

I don't see anything wrong with SOs or DHs asking the women what they want. My husband asks me & I put my Christmas list on the refrigerator every year. He puts a lot of thought into my gifts, but he still asks me because I'm particular about certain things.

 

[imaccami]

Aren't you living in Japan? Maybe it's hard for him to find something in Japan you would like. IDK, I'm just grasping at straws, I'd feel pretty upset about a card holder too.

I think most men know that they can't go wrong with jewelry...maybe next year you can give some huge hints. Like, "wow, look at this necklace, it's so pretty, much prettier than say...a card holder for example, not that there's anything wrong with a card holder." wink wink That's what I would do, just keep it light hearted so that he can get the point without making a big deal out of it.

 

[yokoyokogirl]

Thanks for all the advice.

Actually he said he thought about it over and over.
He has the same wallet of this particular brand and bought me the card case cause I have a lot of point cards. He said "you can put your point cards in there and its the same brand as mine, so we're like the same team" (like wearing matching shirts, but not cause that would be ghey)

So I guess he did think about it, but I said something and mentioned next time maybe I could give you a hint...

I can only hope it gets better. LOL.

 

[NaturalEnigma]

2 years ago my boyfriend gave me a fake gold bracelet that was already turning colors. Just looking at the bracelet I KNEW he couldn't have brought it. It looked like something he took out of his mother or sister's costume jewelry box. I was so pissed, but I didn't show it. But I'm not good at hiding my emotions, so I probably did show it haha. He didn't have a job at the time, but dang, don't insult me with used cheap jewelry. I would have taken a card over that. And for Christmas I gave him, 2 sweaters which he LOVED and wore immediately after and some Nike slippers that he wanted. Needless to say months later we broke up. OP your gift doesn't sound bad. I would wait for another gift giving event to see what he gives you. Sometimes people don't know how to give good gifts until they see the consideration and though that others put into their gifts, that's when they realize they need to put more work into finding the right gift. I used to give my boyfriend FABULOUS gifts, and over time he got better.