what would you do?

I came home and told him I was dissapointed. He apologized.,.and said he made an effort and he will do better...He was like I just got you flowers for your birthday a month ago...I didn't want to do the same thing. He said he gave me back the card..because he buys most of his shoes from Ross or marshalls TRANSLATION. HE IS A Cheap. Then he was like I could buy a hat or shirt or something. I'll keep it. Although he apologized....if he don't improve in the love , affection, romance...etc. His time may be up soon. SMH
 
Forgot to mention when I came home. He made me dinner tonight...talking about its not about material things. SMH...That is true...but I told him I'm still a women that likes to be courted. Appreciated...etc. he was like ill work on it.
 
I am a cheap person too, so I am sincerely not trying to throw shade, but how is a gallon of tea trying? How is that even remotely similar to an appropriate gift on Vday?
 
I asked him that too. I was like so my gift was sweet tea? He was like and a card, a balloon and I cooked you dinner. Really?
 
Sorry OP that does not sound like someone who is just cheap. That's a move you would do for a side piece (if they did anything at all). Did you know that he bought his shoes from those places?
 
I know he likes Ross and marshalls but a 50 dollar gift card to footlocker gives you plenty of options. My birthday was in January. He got me a 25 dollar giftcard to trader joes, roses, and cooked dinner. I honestly think its just his cheap character.
 
SeeLexus said:
I know he likes Ross and marshalls but a 50 dollar gift card to footlocker gives you plenty of options. My birthday was in January. He got me a 25 dollar giftcard to trader joes, roses, and cooked dinner. I honestly think its just his cheap character.
Click to expand...

A $50 gift card to footlocker does not give you plenty of options. Shoes for men start off at $160. Also if he has really large feet >12 then it's at least $200.
 
SeeLexus said:
Forgot to mention when I came home. He made me dinner tonight...talking about its not about material things. SMH...That is true...but I told him I'm still a women that likes to be courted. Appreciated...etc. he was like ill work on it.
Click to expand...

I just dumped a guy who sounds just like this.
 
Hmmm, what did he cook for you? Was it a struggle plate? :lachen: or gourmet food?

Unpopular opinion but apart from the returned gift card it sounds like he did put some thought in. I appreciate things like having my dinner made for me after work and the tea may have just been a novelty gift. Valentine's is a bit commercial now..

Just watch like you said you will and if he's truly cheap run for the hills. I do think things like respect and caring for you when you are unwell are more important though.
 
SeeLexus said:
He tied a valentines balloon around a gallon of sweet tea from trader joes. A card
Click to expand...

SeeLexus said:
My birthday was in January. He got me a 25 dollar giftcard to trader joes, roses, and cooked dinner.
Click to expand...


The common element in his gift-giving strategy sounds like Trader Joe's: i.e., he was out shopping for groceries anyway (for dinner) and, while at Trader Joe's, he also picked up your gallon of tea, your flowers (do they sell fresh flowers?), your balloon (?), your gift card (sold at checkout?), and your greeting card.

If this is true, it really sounds like he didn't care to put in much effort - to go out of his way - to plan for your 'special days'.
 
My thought is he gave the gift card back because he saw that it was waaayy better than what he got you :look: He probably did not feel right in taking it.

How is he otherwise in the relationship? If he is great and loving than I would maybe roll with it and encourage better gifts, but is you are having issues with him in other areas as well, I would do some thinking.

I personally feel it is rude to give someone's gift back to them but I also know that men are a different species :lol:
 
I'm surprised to say the least. How do people forget about things like that? Even if its not on your radar, vday stuff is EVERYWHERE. At McDonald's, on advertisements on the sides of buses, on tv, in shop windows, computer ads, iTunes home page, EVERYWHERE. Valentines Day has been occurring steadily on the same date since before he was born. "I forgot" is NOT an excuse. I would forget his birthday and let him know that he needs to get his ish together. I don't need a man to buy me things because I have my own ends. But if he is going to buy me something, don't insult me

ETA: sounds like he didn't forget about the SuperBowl festivities...
 
Iunno, he got you a Trader Joe's gift card for your bday...Are you a Trader Joe's fanatic like I am? Because if the relationship is new then the sweet tea wasn't a bad idea....the balloon made it mad tacky though.

Can he cook? Cus if not TJ's was the perfect place for him to start if he was making a meal from scratch for you.

To me this all depends on how long you've been together. And yes, it is very hard for men to figure it out. They do not think like us. They really don't, so what he got you really all depends on who he is, how long you've been together and how the relationship is actually going.

Lastly, I can't fake it if I don't like a gift especially if it really missed the mark! He seems the same way. Clearly he doesn't like footlocker so it would be easy to say that you dropped the ball too.
Just playing devil's advocate.
Chalk it up and start all over....not "dump" worthy imho.
 
Sorry OP to hear this, I guess just chalk it up to the fact that's a man and you know he's cheap!
Also im not sure if he gave you back the FL GC because he felt bad that his gift for you wasn't as pricey or he actually tried to pass it off like he gave it to you?!
What did he make for dinner?
 
Vegas for Super Bowl weekend. No, I would not call him cheap at all. Cheap men don't fly to Vegas to watch the Super Bowl.



SeeLexus said:
He is pretty cheap. However we just got back from Vegas supervisor weekend. So maybe he needed to wait til payday- which is today. I will update you when I get home if he adds to this or not..I will ask him why did he regift the gift card back to me. Wth?
Click to expand...

SeeLexus said:
Not supervisor...superbowl weekend
Click to expand...
 
I forgot to add in my previous post that he repeated the TJ's theme because you liked it before. Men are such simpletons. But, if you have been together quite some time, then yeah, I think he was definitely being cheap.
My friend received a expensive pink bag, from her beau for xmas once. It looked exactly like the one she carries to work everyday. She was irritated, but she realized he went the easy route "get her what I KNOW" she likes", lol. Last time he got "creative" she didn't like the gift at all. I'm a woman, who loves to give, but I personally hate the politics involved in gift giving. Smh.
 
If you were following "The Rules," you would have dumped him by now. According to the book, if a man does not give you a romantic gift for Valentine's Day, he's not serious about you.
 
LOL @ all the comments about leaving him for not giving you a good gift for Valentines Day....What about the other 364 days in the year? Valentines Day is one day for Pete Sake's! Im not big on gifts I prefer time but you know that he's cheap and he made an effort and acknowledged it. I would let him know I was disappointed and like to be romanced but I wouldn't dump him over that.

Now if he's a bum over other day of the year and just is no good ( i.e no job, never shows affection, or appreciation) then I can say maybe its time to move but Valentines Day is ONE freaking day!
 
He's selfish (in my opinion). He likes to spend money on the things that HE likes to do i.e. Superbowl weekend. Tread lightly.
 
naturalmanenyc said:
Vegas for Super Bowl weekend. No, I would not call him cheap at all. Cheap men don't fly to Vegas to watch the Super Bowl.
Click to expand...

I was just coming to say this. He just does what he wants to do.

I would thank him for the effort and just very nicely explain that holidays are a small way to be demonstrative and you expected something with more thought and personal consideration. I'm so over these men saying they dont do holidays. You can get a bouquet of flowers for 5.99 at Kroger
 
You can do better sweetheart and I say that with lots of e-sisterly love. A man cheap with money is usually cheap with love. :(
 
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