Help! Dating Advice For Those That Are Not Physically Attractive

[NOEChic]

You stay being the opposite of everything in every thread and you make sure we know it too.

Ma'am I am not the opposite in every thread. I don't even go in every thread and post lol.

 

[NOEChic]

No one NEEDS to wax their pubes but no one goes crazy when people suggest they should.

eyeliner though? crazy talk

No one goes crazy when people say they don't either.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I don't give a hot damn who wears make up and who doesn'terplexed. I think the original point is being lost though. The examples in the OP were women who are really struggling to attract men.

If you can attract even though you wear no make up, or wear sweatpants everyday. I believe it. I've seen popular women of all different looks. However, these women in the example are not popular. This leads to suggestions of trying to smile more, rethinking the wardrobe, experimenting with make up ect.. All we know is whatever they are doing at the moment is not working.

If happy with themselves women can do whatever the heck they want. However, if a woman is sad and lonely for years I think at least a little personal experimentation with physical things (weight/fitness included) as well as inner confidence are all reasonable suggestions.

Well the consensus seems to be ... It's according to "dey man"....

I think many women tend not to see the bias of their lifelong interactions with men and personal circles. If you don't wear make up you will find many of the men that gravitate towards you state they prefer less/no make up. If you wear make up it's the same, you will mostly attract men that like your presentation (and sometimes have a preference for trophy types). Its really that simple.

If I could have £1 for every man I've met who says he prefers dark hair/dark eyes and blondes are boring I'd be rich by now. Still I see attractive blonde women dripping with offers The men that love them don't approach me mostly and the men that really love dark don't approach them mostly.

 

[nlamr2013]

How is that the same? If you don't shave or wax, that's between you and your man. I couldn't care less and wouldn't spend 3 pgs on a forum trying to convince you otherwise, by attacking your self esteem.

I didn't intend to attack you apologies if you felt I did. Buut you definitely tracked women who wear makeup and said why can't they be happy with themselves and not wear it. Imo they're both cosmetics are not necessary and uhm people not removing hair from them legs and pits is not between you and so. we all gotta see that

 

[NOEChic]

I didn't intend to attack you apologies if you felt I did. Buut you definitely tracked women who wear makeup and said why can't they be happy with themselves and not wear it. Imo they're both cosmetics are not necessary and uhm people not removing hair from them legs and pits is not between you and so. we all gotta see that

I attack second not first. And not everyone wears shorts, skirts, capris, sleeveless or tank tops. So you don't have to see it lol. I know when I am slacking on my legs (my shower is too small, I have to go into my guest bathroom to do it and the time I can go between changes depending on if I waxed or shaved and by the time I remember I am already in the shower) then I make sure I don't wear shorts to pt lol.

This reminds me I have to wax this weekend. Ugh that's gonna hurt lol.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

What about just being personally self confident, and self-satisfied? I, personally, don't rely on what men's opinions are....I have to do what feels right for me. And men are so easy, it doesn't even make sense to use what they like as a guide...men like what you tell them to like.

Regarding the OP, I agree....if you need it, get it! I don't care what "it" is...makeup, plastics, a gym membership...whatever. If you're sitting there miserable, and griping about it...do whatever you need to do to feel better about yourself. The only things anyone "needs" is happiness, and confidence. Do what you need to do, to get that for yourself.

 

[Saga]

here we go again with the makeup thing. I know PLENTY of men who don't like women to wear makeup and I know PLENTY of women who are married and don't wear makeup. I don't wear makeup and my ex-husband nor my current minded at all and rather I didn't wear makeup.

Darling, make-up was only ONE suggestion, out of many possible other factors that women adjust to flatter themselves more.

You are not less than a woman without it.
You are not more of a woman by wearing it.

HOWEVER, it cannot be denied that make-up CAN help people's self-esteem if used in a way that it does not become a crutch for the woman and what defines her as a person.

Many things were mentioned that these "unattractive" women may have to change. Wardrobe, self-confidence, being less desperate, exercise, diet, etc.

Truthfully, this is just one man's opinion. We don't even know if HE is attractive. We have no idea how attractive/unattractive these ladies are. Also, what is appealing to one may not be appealing to another. There are too many uncommon denominators to figure out what the root cause really is. Perhaps these ladies are all looking in the wrong places, we don't even know how many ladies it is!


Just because I wear make-up doesn't automatically mean I am unhappy with how I look barefaced.
Just because I walk out my door barefaced doesn't mean I'm not put together.

However, I do feel like make-up is just as much a part of "dressing up" as high heels, skirts, and a popping hair style are. When I get glam, I go IN. I do the whole 10 yards, and that includes beating my face.

Do women HAVE to wear heels? No. How about jewlery and fancy purses? I'm sure there have been plenty of women who pulled a man without all the extra.


BUT all make-up is is another accessory, just like wigs, weaves, gems, stones, and all these other things.


Now can ya'll clam the fluff down and go back to discussing the actual topic?

 

[barbiesocialite]

Just because I wear make-up doesn't automatically mean I am unhappy with how I look barefaced.
Just because I walk out my door barefaced doesn't mean I'm not put together.

 

[Curly1908]

Nobody needs makeup. Yet everybody looks better with it.

Makeup is ubiquitous in all cultures as a mark of beauty, femininity, class, etc.

And "I don't know how to apply it" is not a valid excuse for not wearing it. Learn.

You know why I rarely listen to the anti makeup brigade? Because they ALWAYS reveal that they have a certain feature (perfectly smooth skin, arched brows, long lashes) naturally and don't "need" makeup. That lets me know they'd wear it in a heartbeat if their natural features were average.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

That just lets you know they're delusional, boo. Have you ever checked out the photos of the anti-makeup brigade? Child...

Jennifer Hudson looks better than most barefaced women. And even she looks better with it.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Nobody needs makeup. Yet everybody looks better with it.

Makeup is ubiquitous in all cultures as a mark of beauty, femininity, class, etc.

And "I don't know how to apply it" is not a valid excuse for not wearing it. Learn.



That just lets you know their delusional, boo. Have you ever checked out the photos of the anti-makeup brigade? Child...

Jennifer Hudson looks better than most barefaced women. And even she looks better with it.

Curly1908 lawd why did you have to use that pic of J.Hud as an example, you couldnt use Beyonce or Megan Goode.

 

[cami88]

Nobody needs makeup. Yet everybody looks better with it.

Makeup is ubiquitous in all cultures as a mark of beauty, femininity, class, etc.


And "I don't know how to apply it" is not a valid excuse for not wearing it. Learn.



That just lets you know their delusional, boo. Have you ever checked out the photos of the anti-makeup brigade? Child...

Jennifer Hudson looks better than most barefaced women. And even she looks better with it.

Now why did you have to use this picture of Jennifer?

 

[yardyspice]

I thought this thread would have been about dating advice but I like the makeup turn. As I have told many women who don't wear makeup regularly IRL, when you are looking for a mate, you have to show you are available and makeup is a great way to do it.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

...and what's he like?

Right! That goes for any conversation where women cite a man's opinion

You stay being the opposite of everything in every thread and you make sure we know it too.

So...I've noticed this as well...


In general, I don't care what people do when it comes to makeup. I don't necessarily think a woman will look less put together without makeup, but when in doubt, blush it out As for the OP, I agree that a woman who is "average" by society's standards can push herself into knockout (or at least the knockout at your average workplace or school ) with some effort, but the guy writing the letter seems like a D-bag for being ever so concerned about it.

NOE Chic, I was trying to roll with you, because I'm all about to each his own as long as I look as pretty as possible myself but when you started listing the acnes and the unibrows and the criss-cross lashes I was like *iphone emojicon buckeye face* Not that anything is wrong with any of those things, you just caught me offguard. lol

Barbie was about to make me mad at my SO and he hasn't even done anything wrong yet , talking about men go for low hanging fruit

And this is OT, but as for waking up pretty, I feel like that happens the most consistently when I'm alone. At SO's house I wake up looking like a bulgy eyed demon IDK if that's Murphy's Law or because I'm getting older. Goodbye

 

[FelaShrine]

*sucks teeth*

and where the hell have you been?

mellie fans leaving me to battle on my lonesome

 

[yardyspice]

*sucks teeth*

and where the hell have you been?

mellie fans leaving me to battle on my lonesome

Not that anything is wrong with any of those things

Inchhigh Stop lying

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

I took a sabbatical I really don't get what people don't see in Mellie

yardyspice

 

[Curly1908]

Curly1908 lawd why did you have to use that pic of J.Hud as an example, you couldnt use Beyonce or Megan Goode.

Because most Black women don't look like Beyonce or Megan Goode or Barbiesocialite (especially barefaced) . And still ain't gonna look like like them with makeup.

Most Black women, however, do look average without makeup (like J. Hud does) so her beautiful results with makeup are attainable for them.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

hmm... i'm split. make up to me is kinda like stilettos. its a dress up thing. if i'm wearing nice clothes i wear make up. this is at least once a week for church. if i'm wearing jeans and a tee shirt i go out bare faced. i admit that i put in more effort when i was trying to attract the opposite sex but even then i only wore make up maybe 20% of the time. there is no reason not to put on a dusting of foundation, mascara and lip gloss everyday. for me the reason i don't do it is laziness i admit it

 

[runwaydream]

I agree with the mindset of men not knowing what they want /really like. My bf now told me earlier on how he HATES when a woman wears makeup. The other day he was telling me how attractive he thought I was. I raised an eyebrow bc my hair was tied up, I had an old baggy shirt on from my HS band tshirt on and scrub bottoms. He then goes on to let me know that he's so attracted to me when I'm dressed down, that I couldn't even begin to fathom how attracted he was to me when I was all done up. I wanted to go you mean when I'm all done up wearing a full face of the makeup you claim to hate? don't listen to men ya'll, they'll have you walking around looking homely while eyeing that chick who is looking the way he CLAIMS he hates

 

[Curly1908]

As women, we can listen to whatever bullshyt advice that Steve Harvey, our pastors, CNN, etc. give about dating or you can listen to the superficial (yet real) advice of this article. The majority of men don't care about our education, our salaries, our spirituality, etc. The primary thing that attracts them is our *drum roll* physical attractiveness. And if one is having trouble dating then adjusting one's physical attractiveness via weight loss/gain, makeup, hair styling, etc. makes the most sense.

Also, you have to think of what kind of man you're wanting to attract. *zips lips*

vs.

 

[Priss Pot]

*sucks teeth*

and where the hell have you been?

mellie fans leaving me to battle on my lonesome

I guess I should remember to post in the Scandal thread. Everyone is so "Olitz ", but I am not a fan of their relationship.

I'm so ready for this Thursday. I'm ready for Mellie to officially ring the alarm. Let the world know about your husband! I have a feeling that they're gonna find a way to stop her from doing the press conference somehow . I hope that they don't, I want Olitz to be exposed. I need Mellie to win.

 

[FelaShrine]

I will be very disappointed if she backs down

He might get one of the older kids to do talk to her. conniving eyebrowless bastid

 

[OhTall1]

Truthfully, this is just one man's opinion. We don't even know if HE is attractive. We have no idea how attractive/unattractive these ladies are. Also, what is appealing to one may not be appealing to another. There are too many uncommon denominators to figure out what the root cause really is. Perhaps these ladies are all looking in the wrong places, we don't even know how many ladies it is!

That was my initial read. In one place he says these women aren't attractive, and in another he says that they aren't attractive to him, which is an entirely different discussion IMO.

 

[EverythingOldIsNew]

#teamkillmillie

 

[curlycoquette]

Why???

Do men really do this? I'm kinda curious - like do they go for low-hanging fruit because the threat of competition (and a blow to their ego) is lower?

I can't agree with Barbie on that one at all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

You mean like how women who enhance their beauty get ahead in the workplace faster than women who don't? And are perceived to be more professional?

Ummmm never seen that but ok.

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
Exhibit D
Exhibit E
Exhibit F
Exhibit G

I have an exhibit for every letter of the alphabet, but I'll chill.

 

[Priss Pot]

I will be very disappointed if she backs down

He might get one of the older kids to do talk to her. conniving eyebrowless bastid

I know right. I have a feeling that they're gonna try to cut her some type of deal (maybe a political deal or something that will benefit her future), and her opportunist arse might take it. Don't fall for it Mellie!

 

[SuchaLady]

How I miss this one? Lol

 

[Brwnbeauti]

You mean like how women who enhance their beauty get ahead in the workplace faster than women who don't? And are perceived to be more professional?

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

It's a fact that more attractive people get better jobs.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF

 

[Zaynab]

Im floored that those against makeup believe it is because "they don't need it".

I would say more, but I don't want to get banned.

They do need it. They are seriously kidding themselves.

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue

 

[gabulldawg]

Ooooohhhh a makeup debate!!! y'all know how I feel.