He Did Not Contact Me For Mother's Day

[ForestRose]

I understand what you're saying but I don't think it's a big deal. I'm sure he cares about you either way.

You're not a mother figure to him so I don't think he has a duty to say anything. Yes it would've been nice but it's not necessary.

 

[mrselle]

Talk to him about it. Maybe the day isn't a big deal for him and he didn't think about whether or not the day is a big deal for you. Maybe the day is a constant reminder that his biological mother is deceased and his aunt doesn't live close by, so he doesn't think much about the day. Not everything is a a slight or a case of someone being inconsiderate. Some people just simply don't think.

 

[beingofserenity]

The only person I wished happy mother's day to was my mother.

 

[Thump]

It's personal preference on this one. If being acknowledged on these holidays mean something to you let him know...if not, KIM.

It mos def means something to me....

I agree with this part. It does not mean that much to me either as long a my daughter acknowledges it and my lil harem.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

It doesn't cost anything except a few breaths to say "Happy Mothers Day". It's crazy as hell to me how many times I saw this same situation go down on Facebook yesterday from women in relationships with men who couldn't be bothered. When I was growing up every woman who looked old enough to have children was wished a Happy Mothers Day on general principle whether stranger or family by both men and women.

People who care about each other observe niceties to make the other person feel special or appreciated. If the man you are dating didn't wish you a Happy Mothers Day knowing good and cotdayum well you have a child(ren) then he's a savage and doesn't deserve further access to your time or vagina. If it was me, I would ask him why he didn't say anything and THEE only right answer is that something traumatic happened to him or a loved one on that holiday. Any other answer means he's trash and should be discarded.

I have not been in the habit of telling women to leave men but I'm starting to notice that these dudes are getting more and more out of pocket with micro-aggressions and disrespect very early on when they are supposed to still be on their best behavior which leads me to believe it's only down hill from where these women are finding themselves in their relationships.

 

[LiftedUp]

I understand how you feel and I think that you should talk to him about it.

It's only until last year I've wished person outside of my mother, grandmother and bf's mother "Happy Mother's Day". And that's like 2 extra ppl - my friends . Father's day is even worse.

If the father of my child didn't send me greetings though!

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

It doesn't cost anything except a few breaths to say "Happy Mothers Day". It's crazy as hell to me how many times I saw this same situation go down on Facebook yesterday from women in relationships with men who couldn't be bothered. When I was growing up every woman who looked old enough to have children was wished a Happy Mothers Day on general principle whether stranger or family by both men and women.

People who care about each other observe niceties to make the other person feel special or appreciated. If the man you are dating didn't wish you a Happy Mothers Day knowing good and cotdayum well you have a child(ren) then he's a savage and doesn't deserve further access to your time or vagina. If it was me, I would ask him why he didn't say anything and THEE only right answer is that something traumatic happened to him or a loved one on that holiday. Any other answer means he's trash and should be discarded.

I have not been in the habit of telling women to leave men but I'm starting to notice that these dudes are getting more and more out of pocket with micro-aggressions and disrespect very early on when they are supposed to still be on their best behavior which leads me to believe it's only down hill from where these women are finding themselves in their relationships.

Am I missing something?
Is this cultural?
She's not his mother. Why would he wish her happy mother's day?
Happy mother's day is an empty wish when you're not a mother figure to that particular person. It's not like merry Christmas or happy new year.
Its a way of saying thank you for birthing me or my kids.

It's really not that deep to me. But by all means if it's an issue for you bring it up. Just take the view that not everyone celebrates it the way you do

 

[LiftedUp]

When I was growing up every woman who looked old enough to have children was wished a Happy Mothers Day on general principle whether stranger or family by both men and women.

One person did this to me this year. I was not amused. But I knew she was being nice so....

 

[tibb1908]

It's a courtesy. I think he could have at least said HMD. If it was your B-Day would you have expected an acknowledgment even if it was a week after meeting him?

 

[FearlessNik]

Am I missing something?
Is this cultural?
She's not his mother. Why would he wish her happy mother's day?
Happy mother's day is an empty wish when you're not a mother figure to that particular person. It's not like merry Christmas or happy new year.
Its a way of saying thank you for birthing me or my kids.

It's really not that deep to me. But by all means if it's an issue for you bring it up. Just take the view that not everyone celebrates it the way you do

This definitely isn't a cultural thing over here. But some women (not the OP, just women in general) take Mother's and Father's day too far (especially the Father's Day foolishness). IA with the bolded of what you mentioned. Not every Mother deserves to be celebrated (same way with some Dads). But within blood family it should be celebrated.

 

[Thump]

It doesn't cost anything except a few breaths to say "Happy Mothers Day". It's crazy as hell to me how many times I saw this same situation go down on Facebook yesterday from women in relationships with men who couldn't be bothered. When I was growing up every woman who looked old enough to have children was wished a Happy Mothers Day on general principle whether stranger or family by both men and women.

People who care about each other observe niceties to make the other person feel special or appreciated. If the man you are dating didn't wish you a Happy Mothers Day knowing good and cotdayum well you have a child(ren) then he's a savage and doesn't deserve further access to your time or vagina. If it was me, I would ask him why he didn't say anything and THEE only right answer is that something traumatic happened to him or a loved one on that holiday. Any other answer means he's trash and should be discarded.

I have not been in the habit of telling women to leave men but I'm starting to notice that these dudes are getting more and more out of pocket with micro-aggressions and disrespect very early on when they are supposed to still be on their best behavior which leads me to believe it's only down hill from where these women are finding themselves in their relationships.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Am I missing something?
Is this cultural?
She's not his mother. Why would he wish her happy mother's day?
Happy mother's day is an empty wish when you're not a mother figure to that particular person. It's not like merry Christmas or happy new year.
Its a way of saying thank you for birthing me or my kids.

It's really not that deep to me. But by all means if it's an issue for you bring it up. Just take the view that not everyone celebrates it the way you do

@The bolded, because it's a nice thing to say/do for a woman he's establishing a relationship with.

I don't know if it's cultural or regional. I grew up in Detroit and it would be quite a statement to avoid offering a happy mothers day to someone. Along the lines of a woman being such a bad mother the well wish isn't deserved. It's the one day a year women get a pat on the back for motherhood and to just be like "well you ain't my mama so here's some dust, keep the change."

That said, it's just my way of thinking that I don't have to be somebody's parent to wish them a happy birthday, therefore I don't need to be someone's child to wish them a happy mothers or fathers day. I say happy fathers day to my brothers without having kids by them (shudder ). I also say it to male friends and acquaintances with children. If I can extend that courtesy to strangers then without a doubt I would certainly wish someone who I was romantically involved with the same courtesy.

I'm not asking anybody to agree with me, I'm just saying, I think you should say and do nice things for people on national holidays, especially when it doesn't cost you anything to do so.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

One person did this to me this year. I was not amused. But I knew she was being nice so....

Girl, I been getting it since I was 20. I say thank you because I know it's well intended.

 

[hopeful]

It literally takes less than 5 seconds to say Happy Mother's Day or Hope you have a Happy Mother's Day. I agree with @Crackers Phinn 1,000%.

 

[sunnieb]

Let him know how you feel and see how he reacts. He can't read your mind. Don't pout and say nothing's wrong. Tell him.

Since you describe him as a guy you just 'seeing', that says the relationship is still pretty new. This is the time to set boundaries and expectations.

He's either going to take your feelings into consideration or not.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Let him know how you feel and see how he reacts. He can't read your mind. Don't pout and say nothing's wrong. Tell him.

Since you describe him as a guy you just 'seeing', that says the relationship is still pretty new. This is the time to set boundaries and expectations.

He's either going to take your feelings into consideration or not.

Agreed, communicate first.

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

my husband's father died a couple years ago. Dh is usually very sad on father's day.

i would say communicate tactfully....tread lightly...this may be a touchy subject for him.

 

[ForestRose]

Am I missing something?
Is this cultural?
She's not his mother. Why would he wish her happy mother's day?
Happy mother's day is an empty wish when you're not a mother figure to that particular person. It's not like merry Christmas or happy new year.
Its a way of saying thank you for birthing me or my kids.

It's really not that deep to me. But by all means if it's an issue for you bring it up. Just take the view that not everyone celebrates it the way you do

I was wondering the same. I wasn't raised to say Happy Mother's Day to every mother I knew and I've never done it before either. Other than my mother, I only say it to my grandparents and god mother. No one else. I've never heard of people saying it to every mother they know personally. That's news to me.

 

[toaster]

@PrettyBrownEyes if you don't mind (and if you choose to talk to him about it) will you tell us what he says?

I'm curious about his reasoning and how you two choose to resolve the issue.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Do people only say happy fathers day to their own fathers?

 

[moneychaser]

Yes you should feel some kind of way. I had former male coworkers even texting me tonwish me a happy Mother's Day!

 

[JerriBlank]

I dunno. I would find it a little strange, random people on the street will tell you happy mother's day, so I would assume a guy I am dating would as well. But I am particular about those types of things.

This. My ex husband found a way to get a signed Mother's Day card to me. My kids are not his. I would be upset if the person that I'm intimate with ignored me on Mother's Day. Coworkers messaged me thru Slack too. He could have sent a text.

 

[JerriBlank]

It doesn't cost anything except a few breaths to say "Happy Mothers Day". It's crazy as hell to me how many times I saw this same situation go down on Facebook yesterday from women in relationships with men who couldn't be bothered. When I was growing up every woman who looked old enough to have children was wished a Happy Mothers Day on general principle whether stranger or family by both men and women.

People who care about each other observe niceties to make the other person feel special or appreciated. If the man you are dating didn't wish you a Happy Mothers Day knowing good and cotdayum well you have a child(ren) then he's a savage and doesn't deserve further access to your time or vagina. If it was me, I would ask him why he didn't say anything and THEE only right answer is that something traumatic happened to him or a loved one on that holiday. Any other answer means he's trash and should be discarded.

I have not been in the habit of telling women to leave men but I'm starting to notice that these dudes are getting more and more out of pocket with micro-aggressions and disrespect very early on when they are supposed to still be on their best behavior which leads me to believe it's only down hill from where these women are finding themselves in their relationships.

This to . I had an awful fight with SO. I was hysterical. Still got my gifts from him. His whole family too. I hate to make excuses for men. It takes no effort to acknowledge someone thru text. Yeah, we're getting played out here.

 

[sunnieb]

I see where this is going.

However, when a grown woman says she is just seeing somebody, that tells me it's not a serious relationship yet or it's very early in the relationship. Boundaries haven't been set. OP could be different, IJS.

Some posters are describing relationships that are well established. The man knows the deal. That's why I wanted to know if she let him know it was a big deal to her. If he ignored her feelings then.....

For me, it's my birthday. That day is a national holiday in this household!

Dh has known that since 1989. I don't play when it comes to celebrating the day I was born.

 

[Mai Tai]

He doesn't know something like this is upsetting to you unless you've communicated it to him. While I expect a man that you are seriously dating to treat you to every social grace and nicety there is, at the end of the day, he is human and really may not have know that a "Happy Mother's Day" from HIM would have meant something to you...especially with the fact that his own mother died at a young age. I do not believe in the "he should just know" school of thought when it applies to little nuances like this.

He can't read your mind, nor can he predict your moods especially with the relationship being super new. Be in your feelings but gently tell him how you feel, listen to his reasoning, and if you can forgive this, be sure to watch his behavior in the future to gauge whether he makes things like this important to him.

 

[ladysaraii]

Do people only say happy fathers day to their own fathers?

Yep. That's it.

My pregnant sister got mad that I didn't say HMD. I told her 1, the kid wasn't here and 2, she wasn't my mom.

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

Yes I only say hmd to my mom and mil and hfd to my dad and husband, (fil passed away a couple of years ago) this may indeed be cultural.

Eta add in laws

 

[FemmeFatale]

I said Happy Mother's day to my mom, SO's mom, bestie, cousin who just had twins and my sister. He got my mom and his mom a gift and I did the same.

I am team communicate before jumping to conclusions and writing people off.

 

[LdyKamz]

I just don't understand? Even if it's a guy you're just seeing. If he sends a good morning or any kind of greeting on mother's day why not say happy mothers day? On mother's day? At the very least it's part of the conversation on that day knowing you have children so why not say it. It's so odd. OP did you speak to him at all yesterday?

 

[ForestRose]

He doesn't know something like this is upsetting to you unless you've communicated to him. While I expect a man that you are seriously dating to treat you to every social grace and nicety there is, at the end of the day, he is human and really may not have know that a "Happy Mother's Day" from HIM would have meant something to you...especially with the fact that his own mother died at a young age. I do not believe in the "he should just know" school of thought when it applies to little nuances like this.

He can't read your mind, nor can he predict your moods especially with the relationship being super new. Be in your feelings but gently tell him how you feel, listen to his reasoning, and if you can forgive this, be sure to watch his behavior in the future to gauge whether he makes things like this important to him.

but how would the OP do that though. If they are just seeing each other then making him aware of something that some of us consider pretty minor could turn him off.
If a guy I was seeing mentioned about me saying happy Father's Day to him then I'd be a bit standoff-ish after. Honestly I wouldn't like it.