Has anyone ever done a year of celibacy?

[ebonylocs]

It's just so funny to me to see people talking about sex like it's one of the five essential food groups or something. Where do you ladies meet so many men you actually want to have sex with? Because for me that is few and far between.

 

[Renewed1]

Sho nuff is, but I'm getting an annulment and figure that in a year, I'm going to f*** myself to death (in marriage).

Girl bye!! It's been a little over 5 years for me. My future hubby is going to be scared of me on our wedding night.

Especially, when I see the :superbanana: I'll be :flyingwit he'll be like :crazy: I think you broke it.

LOL!!

 

[Katherina]

I am. It's especially difficult during and near ovulation. I think I'm going to wait until marriage or until very near marriage to have sex. I'm not doing it for religious reasons. I just know myself pretty well and I think it's in my best interest to abstain.

This is not enjoyable. But I'm okay

Not on purpose!

Sometimes you just look at the calendar and add up the months and think erplexed no wonder I'm so moody!!!!!

Bahaha!

 

[UrbainChic]

I have not had sex in a year and a half and i dont plan on it untill i am in a relationship but i don't look at it as some vow of celibacy.

y'all act like its some sort of big deal to not have sex with people you aren't commited to. I LOVE sex. I want nothing more than someone to pounce on every day. I am constantly approached by several men and could have "colored" with several of them several times in the past few weeks. Just because I said no, or avoid it does not mean its a vow of celibacy.

I want it to be enjoyable, its most enjoyable in a relationship, and I know myself and know i get caught up in what ifs when sex is involved with casual dating. The longer I go, the less likely I am to be more casual about it because I've waited this long for relationship sex, why have all that buildup for casual sex. I've done it, and its always better when you're in love.

Swearing off sex is not a part of it, but I wouldn't say its not a choice. I mean If you are halfway attractive you can find someone interested in coloring casually. There is always a choice in the matter. Just make sure you're happy with your choices before during and after, whether its been one week or one year.

 

[softblackcotton]

as a virgin, this sounds horrible.

I know, I'm one too. You can't miss what you never had. When the first guy I ever went out on a date with found out I was a virgin he said he would break me in for the next guy. I ran away from him like I was on fire. These men out here make it very easy to stay a virgin. At least we are saving ourselves the heartache amongst other crap.

 

[complexsimplicity]

I know, I'm one too. You can't miss what you never had. When the first guy I ever went out on a date with found out I was a virgin he said he would break me in for the next guy. I ran away from him like I was on fire. These men out here make it very easy to stay a virgin. At least we are saving ourselves the heartache amongst other crap.

Wow. So this guy outright told you that he'd take your virginity and then wouldn't even stick around after. "...for the next guy." What a joke!
​

 

[Afrolinda]

I did it, more than one year though. I had fun and I really liked it and now I am in a relationship again.

 

[OhmyKimB]

My grades were never higher than when I was boning this one guy on a regular basis. I was so focused. It was a lot easier to stick with a pattern/routine

This I do agree with this though.....I had amazing grades and I was working out regularly

 

[Katherina]

I have not had sex in a year and a half and i dont plan on it untill i am in a relationship but i don't look at it as some vow of celibacy.

y'all act like its some sort of big deal to not have sex with people you aren't commited to. I LOVE sex. I want nothing more than someone to pounce on every day. I am constantly approached by several men and could have "colored" with several of them several times in the past few weeks. Just because I said no, or avoid it does not mean its a vow of celibacy.

I want it to be enjoyable, its most enjoyable in a relationship, and I know myself and know i get caught up in what ifs when sex is involved with casual dating. The longer I go, the less likely I am to be more casual about it because I've waited this long for relationship sex, why have all that buildup for casual sex. I've done it, and its always better when you're in love.

Swearing off sex is not a part of it, but I wouldn't say its not a choice. I mean If you are halfway attractive you can find someone interested in coloring casually. There is always a choice in the matter. Just make sure you're happy with your choices before during and after, whether its been one week or one year.

Blue: Everyone is different though / not like you. Many people enjoy sex without the relationship title, and to take a vow of celibacy for whatever reason is a big deal to them.

Red: I agree with what you said. I know a lot of people who trip themselves up by doing what someone else thinks they should do (I have).

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

8 years.....

 

[mischka]

It's just so funny to me to see people talking about sex like it's one of the five essential food groups or something. Where do you ladies meet so many men you actually want to have sex with? Because for me that is few and far between.

i met like three last night.

 

[ebonylocs]

i met like three last night.

It's probably partly due to personal attractiveness and level of interaction with men. E.g. say women on average are attracted to about 5% of the men that approach them. Woman A gets approached by 300 men per year, and Woman B gets approached by 10. Woman B could wait 2 years before being approached by one man she finds attractive, while woman A will be approached by 15 men per year that she finds attractive. And then of course, going out more often will increase the number of men who approach. It's partly just a numbers game.

 

[Renewed1]

8 years.....

You win girl.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

You win girl.

by winning I also lost my situation changed as of I think september of last year but up until that point it was a long 8 years. Almost a decade of my young life wasted in that regard.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Celibate since 2006.I did it at first bc it was a bad breakup and the whole trying to be a good christian woman then I was in school and didnt want to be the school hoe now its just bc its safer,I dont want to be anyone's baby mama and Im not seen as attractive to the nice opposite sex.]I also feel so perplexed by it since I claim Im a christian but I think about it all the time I was looking at a dude friday and all I could do was

I hope to marry one day and make my hubby want to do ot all the time since I would be so demanding.

 

[Goombay_Summer]

I inadvertently fell into celibacy the last year of my marriage, stupidly during my divorce I still considered myself very much married and felt that it would be analogous to committing adultery.

Year 2, I discovered that it was much easier for me to think about my relationships rationally and systematically when my judgment was not being cloudy by my head that was not being banged into a headboard and I was not experiencing "Le Petit Mort".

That brought me to year 3 of celibacy when I made a commitment in church in front of a very large assemble of hundreds of people that I would not have sex again until I was married.

Year 4, I unabashedly admit that I almost became a registered sex offender when a handsome model moved next door.

Year 5, currently on a steady course to year 6 sadly I have discovered that I still miss sex as the desert misses the rain but I know that the likelihood still exists that that one day the rain will come and my arid land will be transformed into a lush and fertile paradise.

 

[Kalani]

^^^ That sleazy squirrel in your siggy!

 

[LongCurlz]

TMI......Its like Niagra falls down there ....3 months at the most...i love men cant help it

 

[UrbainChic]

Blue: Everyone is different though / not like you. Many people enjoy sex without the relationship title, and to take a vow of celibacy for whatever reason is a big deal to them.

Red: I agree with what you said. I know a lot of people who trip themselves up by doing what someone else thinks they should do (I have).

Re Blue: I understand that. (BTW I enjoy it no matter what, I just recognize that I enjoy one even more than the other) what I meant by my statement is more that not having sex has as much importance as you actually put on it. if you work yourself up too much you can make it a bigger challenge than it really is. (the whole psych yourself out type of thing) It should be taken one day at a time. that was what i meant to articulate with my anecdote about never making an actual vow, but letting the year and a half go by.

Trust me some days I am ready to hump doorknobs, or anything that looks remotely male! The goal of someone special is easier to keep in mind even when a very fine smooth talking Mr.Oh-So-Wrong comes along. I feel a bigger urge and more pressure (from myself) when I think about how much time has passed because i actually do feel like its one of the food groups and essential to survival and i start to think as though i am starving and should just eat anything.

I just dont like this idea of it not being a choice just because there was no vow of celibacy, which many of the posters sound like they believe. As if not having sex means you make a vow of celibacy,or you literally cannot find someone to sleep with you.... there is always a choice,(Eg. I would love to be having sex right now, but not with that guy (for whatever reason) it doesnt have to be all or nothing or a dramatic proclamation of swearing off sex vs sex all day everyday. There is lots in between and the in between approach can work for your personal benefit too. This thread is very black and white with almost no accounting for the grey!!!



I hope that clarifies what i was trying to articulate before.

 

[Incognitus]

It has been SEVERAL months for me (so far), and not necessarily by choice. I just got out of a relationship and I've decided to try celibacy long term. At the very least, until the end of the year. That will bring me to the 1-year mark.

 

[Jas123]

Yes...please I want to know this. I am celi now and I want to know...umm...well......does it hurt after a long time...does it get tight again? Do you dry up? I am really curious...I dont want to dry up...thats my greatest asset...

well as i'm still celibate i can't answer the other questions but @ the bolded i can assure you, you don't dry up... @ least i haven't... i just think about certain things/acts/men etc.. and i'm running to the bathroom, so i'm assuming when i get the actual thing... oh lord!

 

[Incognitus]

Celibate since 2006.I did it at first bc it was a bad breakup and the whole trying to be a good christian woman then I was in school and didnt want to be the school hoe now its just bc its safer,I dont want to be anyone's baby mama and Im not seen as attractive to the nice opposite sex.]I also feel so perplexed by it since I claim Im a christian but I think about it all the time I was looking at a dude friday and all I could do was

I hope to marry one day and make my hubby want to do ot all the time since I would be so demanding.

What in tarnation?!? I just caught that small phrase. What the heck lady! Dear, why do you feel this way? I've seen your pics in your album and you're a pretty girl. The way you talk, someone would think you looked like Shanaynay or something.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I have not had sex in a year and a half and i dont plan on it untill i am in a relationship but i don't look at it as some vow of celibacy.

y'all act like its some sort of big deal to not have sex with people you aren't commited to. I LOVE sex. I want nothing more than someone to pounce on every day. I am constantly approached by several men and could have "colored" with several of them several times in the past few weeks. Just because I said no, or avoid it does not mean its a vow of celibacy.

I want it to be enjoyable, its most enjoyable in a relationship, and I know myself and know i get caught up in what ifs when sex is involved with casual dating. The longer I go, the less likely I am to be more casual about it because I've waited this long for relationship sex, why have all that buildup for casual sex. I've done it, and its always better when you're in love.

Swearing off sex is not a part of it, but I wouldn't say its not a choice. I mean If you are halfway attractive you can find someone interested in coloring casually. There is always a choice in the matter. Just make sure you're happy with your choices before during and after, whether its been one week or one year.

WOW, this is exactly how I feel word for word!

 

[BlueEra]

I've done it before and lasted 2 1/2 years. It wasn't hard but it had its rough spots.

I'm currently celibate now and I have no urge or desire to do ANYTHING at all, which is fine with me because for the past 6 years I feel like I've been taken for granted by the men I've allowed in my world, and I don't want that to happen again. After my last breakup I became numb and just finally realized I was TIRED of being treated a certain way and being in a streak of bad relationships. So now I am taking the time to get to know myself and what I want. I need to see the value in ME before I let another man try to price out my worth in his life.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

i met like three last night.

Girl, where you stay? I gotta come visit.

 

[ZapMami]

It's been seven months for me. And I'm going to keep at it...at least until I am in a committed relationship.

 

[Successfulmiss]

Bumping this ish!!!!!!!!! Great thread!

 

[ebonylocs]

Yes...please I want to know this. I am celi now and I want to know...umm...well......does it hurt after a long time...does it get tight again? Do you dry up? I am really curious...I dont want to dry up...

Nah, you don't dry up. My "juiciness" was praised and exalted after a 5 year break. So, yeah.

 

[nappystorm]

Nah, you don't dry up. My "juiciness" was praised and exalted after a 5 year break. So, yeah.

....

 

[Incognitus]

^^ rofl