Well folks, I'm starting over. I'm Refocusing and getting back on track; striving hard not to let distractions or temptations get me off track again. I prayed alot over my actions/decisions and now I'm ready to act on it. I was going strong for about 4 years and then I allowed the possibility of "true love" to get me off track by putting aside the promise I made to myself and God,
. 6 months later, yet another disappointment in the love department but worst of all I gave up what was important to me along the way. (As unpopular and uncommon as it may be nowadays, I do believe that someone who truly loves me would be willing to wait for me sexually if that is my wish.)
Unfortuantely, what's done is done, but the bright side is that I'm getting back in the race and I'm going to try hard to stay on course. I took time to reflect on the things that I allowed to happen that eventually got me off course; so I am learning from those things. And I also realize that I need to pray more and read my Bible more; keep the roots that I'm trying to stand on as strong and healthy as possible.
I thought I had my feelings and desires under control since I had made it to 4 years, but I soon realized, you're never fully prepared and you never have things fully under control at all times, it's very easy to eventually get worn down and then you can easily break if I dont take firm measures for myself. Especially being in my thirties I'm like a walking flame of fire on most given days,
. So I definately need to build a stronger support system to help me stay focused and content this time around. More prayer, wiser choice of circle of friends, more Bible reading, more activities that pamper me physically and emotionally, more outdoor activities whether it be solo or with DD and did I say prayer, lol!!!
anywhoo, I'll let you all know how it goes!
I'll try to check in more often.
Celibacy! Take 2!