Give it up or not?

[IONENABILLION]

Here's my dilemma:

A couple of weeks ago my ex boyfriend and I got back on good terms. I agreed to go out on a date with him. Then the next day I backed out because of my insecurity issues concerning my looks. Now, when this happened he got real mad at me because he was really was trying to get together with me. The next day I talked to him and he invited me on a ski trip and I told him that I would tell him the next day. The next day I called him and I told him I would go and he was being snappy and short with his answers. I asked him what was the deal. And he said that I was playing games (when I canceled the date) and he was going to start treating me like the rest of his chicks and he tried to make me jealous by saying he was gone invite some girl that I'm going to call Ashley. After I hung up on him, I was real heated but I thought about what he said and he was right, I was playing games when I shouldn't have been. So, basically I called him up and apologize but at that point I felt like he was basically out of my grasp. And I still feel that way. A few days ago he came over my house to collect a down payment for the ski trip and he apologized for trying to make me jealous when he said he was gone invite Ashley. As he put it he was "just trying to get some p**** lined up". So, I forgave him. So, the other day he comes over and basically tells me that he might not be able to go on the ski trip because when Ashley was over his house other girls were blowing up his phone and they got into it. Not only that but she found the flyer to the ski trip and Ashley said she was going to be blowing up his phone that whole weekend. So, he asked me did I have anybody I could invite (no because I have no friends) because it has to be two people to a room unless you pay the full price. So, I basically told him that I won't go if it's gone mess things up between him and Ashley and that I just wanted my down payment back. And he said no I really want you to go blah blah blah. Alright, so we came to conclusion that I was going to invite one of my male coworkers that I had previously told my ex that I was attracted to. He told me how to bring up the ski trip to the guy and he wanted me to call him the next day for some pointers on how to approach him / So, Like a hour later I texted and told him that I chickened out and that I wasn't going to approach the guy. So, he basically said that we was going to room together. Now, here's the problem. I want to get back with him right, but at the same time I don't want him to just f**k me and leave me especially when I know he's talking to other girls. He said he wouldn't do that too me but I don't want to find out the hard way. Since, were rooming together I know he's going to expect sex (hes already said it "I know I'm gone have sex with you") but I haven't validated anything. Should I sex with him or not? I am ready to have sex and I am really curious because he claims he's so good in bed and that's what the girls say. I don't want to lose him but at the time I don't want to give it up and get played. Also, he rarely calls me and the times he came to my house he purposely kept his distance and he said he did that because I'm not his girl for him to be all hugging up on me. So, that got me thinking? Why should I have sex with somebody that doesn't even want to sit near me or rarely calls me? I know part of this is my fault. By the way I'm 22 and a virgin.

 

[LunadeMiel]

This whole situation is a HAM....
1. This guy has a girlfriend
2. He is talking to other girls
3. He is an a$$hole
I could go on and on...
And
Why are considering sleeping with him...?
Child stay your butt home...

 

[MzLady78]

This whole situation is a HAM....
1. This guy has a girlfriend
2. He is talking to other girls
3. He is an a$$hole
I could go on and on...
And
Who are considering sleeping with him...
Child stay your butt home...

Okay!

Girl, there is no dilemma here. Keep.it.moving.

 

[crlsweetie912]

Here's my dilemma:

A couple of weeks ago my ex boyfriend and I got back on good terms. I agreed to go out on a date with him. Then the next day I backed out because of my insecurity issues concerning my looks. Now, when this happened he got real mad at me because he was really was trying to get together with me. The next day I talked to him and he invited me on a ski trip and I told him that I would tell him the next day. The next day I called him and I told him I would go and he was being snappy and short with his answers. I asked him what was the deal. And he said that I was playing games (when I canceled the date) and he was going to start treating me like the rest of his chicks and he tried to make me jealous by saying he was gone invite some girl that I'm going to call Ashley. After I hung up on him, I was real heated but I thought about what he said and he was right, I was playing games when I shouldn't have been. So, basically I called him up and apologize but at that point I felt like he was basically out of my grasp. And I still feel that way. A few days ago he came over my house to collect a down payment for the ski trip and he apologized for trying to make me jealous when he said he was gone invite Ashley. As he put it he was "just trying to get some p**** lined up". So, I forgave him. So, the other day he comes over and basically tells me that he might not be able to go on the ski trip because when Ashley was over his house other girls were blowing up his phone and they got into it. Not only that but she found the flyer to the ski trip and Ashley said she was going to be blowing up his phone that whole weekend. So, he asked me did I have anybody I could invite (no because I have no friends) because it has to be two people to a room unless you pay the full price. So, I basically told him that I won't go if it's gone mess things up between him and Ashley and that I just wanted my down payment back. And he said no I really want you to go blah blah blah. Alright, so we came to conclusion that I was going to invite one of my male coworkers that I had previously told my ex that I was attracted to. He told me how to bring up the ski trip to the guy and he wanted me to call him the next day for some pointers on how to approach him / So, Like a hour later I texted and told him that I chickened out and that I wasn't going to approach the guy. So, he basically said that we was going to room together. Now, here's the problem. I want to get back with him right, but at the same time I don't want him to just f**k me and leave me especially when I know he's talking to other girls. He said he wouldn't do that too me but I don't want to find out the hard way. Since, were rooming together I know he's going to expect sex (hes already said it "I know I'm gone have sex with you") but I haven't validated anything. Should I sex with him or not? I am ready to have sex and I am really curious because he claims he's so good in bed and that's what the girls say. I don't want to lose him but at the time I don't want to give it up and get played. Also, he rarely calls me and the times he came to my house he purposely kept his distance and he said he did that because I'm not his girl for him to be all hugging up on me. So, that got me thinking? Why should I have sex with somebody that doesn't even want to sit near me or rarely calls me? I know part of this is my fault. By the way I'm 22 and a virgin.

If you have sex with him you will only be young, dumb and full of c**. DON'T DO IT!
Why in the world would you even CONSIDER something like this? He was with this girl Ashley, who he wants to take on the trip too. Asking if there's someone else you can bring on the trip. Talking to other girls beside's Ashley.

Girl, if you do it, don't come around here crying talking about "he just hit it and quit it!" You know the ladies here will say "I told you so".
If your only objective is to have a wet tail, then go for it. But it seems like you are catching feelings if you are even considering getting into this mess.
Please don't do this.

PS: all this is said in love. Trying to keep you from making the biggest mistake of your life.

 

[itismehmmkay]

Interesting/puzzling citations:

As he put it he was "just trying to get some p**** lined up". So, I forgave him.
Since, were rooming together I know he's going to expect sex
By the way I'm 22 and a virgin

erplexed

:::sigh::::
Sounds like you may do what you want to do. But I'd advise you not to.
And why are ya'll rooming together?

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I say loose out on your money and keep your virginity. RUN girl!!

 

[ThickHair]

Take the "L" with your money. He seems very jerky and why do you want to be bothered with him.

BTW Most guys who brag on their d!ck usually are lame. When a man is good in bed, he doesn't have to TELL you.

 

[lexi08]

No way leave this man alone ASAP. He is not worth it.

 

[IONENABILLION]

Interesting/puzzling citations:

As he put it he was "just trying to get some p**** lined up". So, I forgave him.
Since, were rooming together I know he's going to expect sex
By the way I'm 22 and a virgin

erplexed

:::sigh::::
Sounds like you may do what you want to do. But I'd advise you not to.
And why are ya'll rooming together?

We were supposed to room together on the ski trip b/c its two people to a room and he invited and he's the only person I knowon this trip.

 

[spelmanlocks]

Be done with him. He sounds like he is confused and immature. If he really wanted to be with just you, he would have let the other girl know what was up from the get go as a matter of fact he wouldn't have even been talking to another girl. Seems like he is just looking to get laid on this trip be it with you or the other girl.

 

[locabouthair]

hold up. he rarely calls you and doesnt even want to hug you and you are wondering if you should sleep with him??

PLEASE DONT DO IT.

You probably have people getting on you about being a virgin at 22 but bump what anyone thinks, ignore the peer pressure, if there's any, and wait for someone who will treat you like they want to be with you. This guy sounds all he wants is some butt.

plus he sleeps with other chicks, you dont even know what he might have

 

[Ramya]

So let me get this straight...

he was going to start treating me like the rest of his chicks and he tried to make me jealous by saying he was gone invite some girl that I'm going to call Ashley.

As he put it he was "just trying to get some p**** lined up". So, I forgave him.

He's inviting another girl so that he can have sex with her "if" you don't go. If you go he is still expecting sex though you are not togther and he doesn't even sit near you let alone call you.

So, the other day he comes over and basically tells me that he might not be able to go on the ski trip because when Ashley was over his house other girls were blowing up his phone and they got into it.

Now, when this happened he got real mad at me because he was really was trying to get together with me.

So he's really trying to get with you but he's spending time with Ashley and "getting into it with her" over OTHER females calling him? Sounds like he's trying to get with Ashley.

So, I basically told him that I won't go if it's gone mess things up between him and Ashley and that I just wanted my down payment back. And he said no I really want you to go blah blah blah. Alright, so we came to conclusion that I was going to invite one of my male coworkers that I had previously told my ex that I was attracted to. He told me how to bring up the ski trip to the guy and he wanted me to call him the next day for some pointers on how to approach him

Why are you even entertaining this BS from your ex? He wants you to bring another male so that you can go on the trip. but he plans to room with and sleep with Ashley and then sneak around and sleep with you too? Don't go OP. He's full of sh**. You will be kicking yourself for going. He's using you. Why do you even want him back? He's made it clear that he has OTHER women and has very little if any respect for you. He just wants to close the deal. (have sex with you).

Go and make some friends. He is not your friend.

 

[luvn_life]

TAKE THIS FROM SOMEONE WHO IS ALSO RIDING ON THE V SQUAD... DONT DO IT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING THIS LONG. YOU NEED TO WAIT UNTIL SOMEBODY RIGHT FOR YOU COMES ALONG. TRUST... I KNOW IT GETS TOUGH SOMETIMES, BUT YOU ARE DEFINITELY GONNA REGRET THIS. ANYONE WHO SAYS " I KNOW I'M GONNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU" GETS AN AUTOMATIC DISMISSAL. SORRY BUT HE'S A BUSTER AND GET YOUR MONEY BACK AND IF HE SAYS YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BACK, COUNT IT AS MONEY LOST BUT YOU DO NOT WANNA DO THIS... TRUST!!!

 

[crlsweetie912]

TAKE THIS FROM SOMEONE WHO IS ALSO RIDING ON THE V SQUAD... DONT DO IT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING THIS LONG. YOU NEED TO WAIT UNTIL SOMEBODY RIGHT FOR YOU COMES ALONG. TRUST... I KNOW IT GETS TOUGH SOMETIMES, BUT YOU ARE DEFINITELY GONNA REGRET THIS. ANYONE WHO SAYS " I KNOW I'M GONNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU" GETS AN AUTOMATIC DISMISSAL. SORRY BUT HE'S A BUSTER AND GET YOUR MONEY BACK AND IF HE SAYS YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BACK, COUNT IT AS MONEY LOST BUT YOU DO NOT WANNA DO THIS... TRUST!!!

PREACH!

 

[ElizaBlue]

Here's my dilemma:

.... Now, here's the problem. I want to get back with him right, but at the same time I don't want him to just f**k me and leave me especially when I know he's talking to other girls. He said he wouldn't do that too me but I don't want to find out the hard way. Since, were rooming together I know he's going to expect sex (hes already said it "I know I'm gone have sex with you") but I haven't validated anything. Should I sex with him or not? I am ready to have sex and I am really curious because he claims he's so good in bed and that's what the girls say. I don't want to lose him but at the time I don't want to give it up and get played. Also, he rarely calls me and the times he came to my house he purposely kept his distance and he said he did that because I'm not his girl for him to be all hugging up on me. So, that got me thinking? Why should I have sex with somebody that doesn't even want to sit near me or rarely calls me? I know part of this is my fault. By the way I'm 22 and a virgin.

You don't have him. No one does. I hope you get your money back. Cause the cost of this trip could be well....priceless.

 

[tiara76]

I usually write long posts, just get to typing away..this one will be short

If you are saving your virginity for personal reasons and waiting to share your body with someone you have a special connection with who will appreciate you as a person as well then this guy you are talking about

IS NOT HIM

 

[sexyeyes3616]

You have waited this long to have sex. Don't loose your virginity to someone who to me has no desire to commit to you and looks like they are playing games. If you sleep with him you will regret that you did.

 

[jturner7156]

My, my. my. 1st red flag...you are asking other people should you have sex someone. Now, if we were to tell you, give him some, who would you blame on a possible pregnancy or STD. 2nd Red Flag..he doesn't feel the same way about you...go ahead and say it out loud to yourself, so you can hear it. Please keep your virginity...it's precious and don't let nobody else tell you otherwise, get your money back and please close the door to this relationship...NOW before you get hurt, again!

 

[Cien]

Give it up or not?

-------
no...no..no..no...NO...NO..NO..NO!!!!!!!!!!


Please don't do this with this guy!

You are worth SO much more!!

Your moniker is 'One in a Billion'.

You didn't create that for nothing.......so act as if you ARE one in a billion, and save yourself some heartache, and save your virginity for a man who is worth it.

 

[NYAmicas]

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!
OP, the whole time I was reading your post I was going, WTF!?
See the above in red! You're bored? Need friends? Log on to here! Surf facebook! Read a book! Hang out with people at your job!
Dont set yourself up for failure-YOU DONT HAVE TO!
C'mon now, you know that dude is bad news, stop making excuses for him! I dont care what "level" he seems to be on because from what you described it would be scum.
Would you want a guy like that with your daughter if you had one? It's very obvious that he is not into you-actions speak louder than words. Please follow the advice that was posted thus far.

 

[lizjoseph]

Ask yourself this "If I sleep with him then ________" What happens next? Will you two be BF/ GF? Will Ashley and all the other girls stop blowing up his phone? Will he become a one woman man over night just because you slept with him? And who are these other girls? Is he sleeping with them too? What is he telling them that keeps them around? Probably the same stuff he is telling you. I don't think you have answers to any of these questions and these are things that YOU NEED TO KNOW! He already told you that he doesn't really give a damn about you or anyone else by his actions as well as his blatant statement that "he is just trying to lined up p**y" for that weekend. Seriously?!?! You want to sleep with him just to make sure he meets his p**y quota for the weekend to keep him happy? Do you really want to be that person? What about you and you being happy? I HIGHLY DOUBT he is the man of your dreams. If you do it, you will wake up in a world of regret. Again I ask you, you sleep with him and then what?

 

[LivingDoll]

Girl you really know the answer...you don't need us to tell you.

 

[kweenameena]

Are we getting punked?erplexed

 

[Rapunzel*]

no please dont do it
your worth so much more, leave him alone all the signs are right in your face

 

[IONENABILLION]

Ask yourself this "If I sleep with him then ________" What happens next? Will you two be BF/ GF? Will Ashley and all the other girls stop blowing up his phone? Will he become a one woman man over night just because you slept with him? And who are these other girls? Is he sleeping with them too? What is he telling them that keeps them around? Probably the same stuff he is telling you. I don't think you have answers to any of these questions and these are things that YOU NEED TO KNOW! He already told you that he doesn't really give a damn about you or anyone else by his actions as well as his blatant statement that "he is just trying to lined up p**y" for that weekend. Seriously?!?! You want to sleep with him just to make sure he meets his p**y quota for the weekend to keep him happy? Do you really want to be that person? What about you and you being happy? I HIGHLY DOUBT he is the man of your dreams. If you do it, you will wake up in a world of regret. Again I ask you, you sleep with him and then what?

Your right. But I figured if I slept with him then he would think I was serious about getting back together with him and not just playing games and he would leave the rest of his FWB's or whatever alone. Not too long ago I thought about it and I think the main reason why he started disrespecting me and taking me for granted b/c he khows I don't have any options (men) and I have no friends so I mainly go to work and come home and spend most of my free time on the Internet. I don't think it had anything to do with me calling off our date because he cooked for some girl on their first date (never cooked for me) and she never showed up and he was still trying to get at her after she she stood him up. Also, I lamented to my ex on many occasions about why men never approach me or look at me and maybe that subconsciously turned him off because he knew no one else wants me and he knew he could have me if he wanted to. So, I basically made myself to available.

 

[Bunny77]

Your right. But I figured if I slept with him then he would think I was serious about getting back together with him and not just playing games and he would leave the rest of his FWB's or whatever alone. Not too long ago I thought about it and I think the main reason why he started disrespecting me and taking me for granted b/c he khows I don't have any options (men) and I have no friends so I mainly go to work and come home and spend most of my free time on the Internet. I don't think it had anything to do with me calling off our date because he cooked for some girl on their first date (never cooked for me) and she never showed up and he was still trying to get at her after she she stood him up. Also, I lamented to my ex on many occasions about why men never approach me or look at me and maybe that subconsciously turned him off because he knew no one else wants me and he knew he could have me if he wanted to. So, I basically made myself to available.

Please get over to the "Rules" thread as soon as possible and start learning and understanding the way men think. I'm sorry, but if you are still believing that having sex with a man will make him want you, you are going to have a long hard road ahead of you in life with your relationships and you will always be getting hurt.

Get off the Internet, make some friends (male and female) and stop talking to this man. Also get some counseling to work on your self-esteem because if you are walking around thinking and telling people that nobody wants you, that's a serious issue.

This man is an ex, but maybe he shouldn't have been a BF in the first place the way he's sounding. What is it saying about YOU that you want to be with this dude? He goes after other women but uses you as a doormat and you want to be with him? Seriously?

Again, what is this entire thread saying about YOU?

 

[crlsweetie912]

Your right. But I figured if I slept with him then he would think I was serious about getting back together with him and not just playing games and he would leave the rest of his FWB's or whatever alone. Not too long ago I thought about it and I think the main reason why he started disrespecting me and taking me for granted b/c he khows I don't have any options (men) and I have no friends so I mainly go to work and come home and spend most of my free time on the Internet. I don't think it had anything to do with me calling off our date because he cooked for some girl on their first date (never cooked for me) and she never showed up and he was still trying to get at her after she she stood him up. Also, I lamented to my ex on many occasions about why men never approach me or look at me and maybe that subconsciously turned him off because he knew no one else wants me and he knew he could have me if he wanted to. So, I basically made myself to available.

And this is somebody you want to give up the panties for? SMH....

 

[sexyeyes3616]

A guy like that wouldn't get my time let alone get a chance to sleep with me.

 

[MzLady78]

Please get over to the "Rules" thread as soon as possible and start learning and understanding the way men think. I'm sorry, but if you are still believing that having sex with a man will make him want you, you are going to have a long hard road ahead of you in life with your relationships and you will always be getting hurt.

Get off the Internet, make some friends (male and female) and stop talking to this man. Also get some counseling to work on your self-esteem because if you are walking around thinking and telling people that nobody wants you, that's a serious issue.

This man is an ex, but maybe he shouldn't have been a BF in the first place the way he's sounding. What is it saying about YOU that you want to be with this dude? He goes after other women but uses you as a doormat and you want to be with him? Seriously?

Again, what is this entire thread saying about YOU?

I'll make it easy, you don't even have to look for it.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=289227

 

[Minx]

Oh, baby, I am so sorry to hear all this.
If you are a woman of faith, get somewhere and PRAY!
Seriously.

Do all you can to get away from him NOW!

I know it ain't easy.
I know what it feels like, wanting a man so bad that you almost can't stand it.
I know what it feels like, being mind screwed aka "manipulated".
I know what it feels like, to settle because you think you have no other options.
I know what it feels like to put your heart AND YOUR BODY on the line for a man, trying to please him.

And I know what it feels like to be heart broken and disillusioned from being used, abused, and discarded....you end up looking around wondering what the hell just happened?

Honey,
Please, save yourself from all that drama.
This boy, and yes I say "boy", because he is behaving like one, is just taking you for a ride.
He is a low-life, I mean, level to the ground, just like my ex.
(See I can say this about your "boy" because I had one just like him.)

Thanks to my ex, I can spot a bullsh***ter from a mile away.
And recogonize their stuff for what it is......games and b.s.

May I speak the truth in love?
HE DOES NOT WANT YOU.
and guess what?
You are not losing anything because HE HAS NOTHING TO OFFER,except maybe his ding-a-ling.
And if you take him up on that, you not only lose something sacred, your virginity, but you also forfeight the blessing that you have......peace of mind from having a pristine clean body, free from disease and infection.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you did not mention that he has shared the results of any recent STD testing with you, and ain't no telling what all he has laid down with, Mr. "gotta line me up some p**** for the weekend", therefore you, my dear, don't know what you may get up with!

Do yourself a favor: save your body, your heart, and your esteem, by deleting him from your life.

And most of all protect your health and please, please, by all means, continue to protect your virtue/virginity!
That is something once gone, can never be replaced.
Is he deserving of that?

Think about it.

dk