Girlfriend Refused To Be Exclusive Until Her Boyfriend Proposed

[dancinstallion]

You can work with 6"; this dudes nose is probably longer than his penis.

I got that now so i can work with that. But in houston there are some mega anacondas. So that is what i was talking about. They were so big that my cousin moved here from ohio to chase them.

 

[MissNina]

No thanks. That picture disappointed me on so many levels. Joy kill.

 

[mstar]

Nothing wrong this man's looks. He's just average looking like 85% of the men in this world. So long as he is meeting all her core needs and she's ok with his face in the morning with his morning breathe and eye boogers, she has done ok for herself. There are not that many extremely attractive men to go around for all the women that want them. Many of them are as dumb as a box of rocks anyway.

Right. Black women stay worried about the wrong things.

Anyway, her method is solid...it's the exact same thing I tell my single friends: don't be a girlfriend. Having that mentality will change your entire energy, the men will feel the shift in you, and they'll come chasing.

But then you need to have the right emotional energy to sustain the relationship. There's a relationship guru named Rori Raye whose advice I take as gospel...she is so spot on about everything. I bought her entire program, and it changed all of my relationships for the better. She says the same thing about not being a girlfriend.

 

[ladysaraii]

Here's what I never understood about not being a girlfriend. I get the concept, but I do believe that a couple needs some time one on one to see if they work.

Ex. If I'm dating guys a, b, and c, then I'm getting need filled from all of them. How am I truly able to see if guy a can take care of them if there are other guys filling them same function?

I don't know. Maybe I need more info on this. Bc it sounds good, but I always thought the relationship was the foundation you'd be taking into marriage.

 

[mstar]

Here's what I never understood about not being a girlfriend. I get the concept, but I do believe that a couple needs some time one on one to see if they work.

Ex. If I'm dating guys a, b, and c, then I'm getting need filled from all of them. How am I truly able to see if guy a can take care of them if there are other guys filling them same function?

I don't know. Maybe I need more info on this. Bc it sounds good, but I always thought the relationship was the foundation you'd be taking into marriage.

You go by feel. When it feels right, you'll know.

Also, tbh many men are going to drop out of this competition...of the ones who are serious and stick around, you'll be able to discern who deserves to win. There will often be one clear winner who stands out above the rest.

You'll be spending plenty of time with each of them to be able to tell what each of their strengths are, but because you're still dating, no one guy will get all of your time and attention exclusively. That's actually attractive to a man. Most of us make the mistake of giving our all to a man, and it usually doesn't pay off in the end. No man should get your all until there's a ring on your finger...and even after marriage, it's wise to always retain a little bit of mystique.

Also, I'm of the opinion that there is no such thing as having too many needs filled! I would just roll with it and have fun.

 

[ladysaraii]

You go by feel. When it feels right, you'll know.

Also, tbh many men are going to drop out of this competition...of the ones who are serious and stick around, you'll be able to discern who deserves to win. There will often be one clear winner who stands out above the rest.

You'll be spending plenty of time with each of them to be able to tell what each of their strengths are, but because you're still dating, no one guy will get all of your time and attention exclusively. That's actually attractive to a man. Most of us make the mistake of giving our all to a man, and it usually doesn't pay off in the end. No man should get your all until there's a ring on your finger...and even after marriage, it's wise to always retain a little bit of mystique.

Also, I'm of the opinion that there is no such thing as having too many needs filled! I would just roll with it and have fun.

Thanks for explaining. I looked up rori and came across some articles, including one contrasting her and Katarina Phang (who I've read before). I'll have to read more of her stuff.

 

[mstar]

Thanks for explaining. I looked up rori and came across some articles, including one contrasting her and Katarina Phang (who I've read before). I'll have to read more of her stuff.

I haven't heard of Katarina Phang...is she worth reading?

What Rori has to say about healing oneself from the inside is actually really deep once you get all the way into her full material. I consider it some of the best money I've ever spent.

 

[ladysaraii]

I haven't heard of Katarina Phang...is she worth reading?

What Rori has to say about healing oneself from the inside is actually really deep once you get all the way into her full material. I consider it some of the best money I've ever spent.

I haven't read Kat's book, but I've gaff and liked a few of her articles. She was recommended by some people on this forum.

This is the article she wrote about how her method differs from Rori.

http://katarinaphang.com/how-my-method-differs-to-rori-rayes/

I'd love to know what you think. I may end up getting her book.

At the end of the day, I think some of these methods appeal to different personalities. I like to take what resonates with me.

 

[dancinstallion]

Back to the OP. I like her approach. What worked for her may not work for so many women. Also when a man knows then he will propose and I don't believe it takes 3 years either. Within that first year you both should know. Her husband took that same amount of time 9 months.

I advocate for women to date around. But there is nothing wrong if you find a man that you like and you want to be exclusive. Especially if this man is the only one worth dating at that time. These girlfriends need to know when to end a relationship or give an ultimative if your expecting to get married. Let him know.

Sometimes you don't know someone until you have lived with them. So do you wait until he proposes and you move in together to find out this may not work out? Or do you move in after the wedding?

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Right. Black women stay worried about the wrong things.

Anyway, her method is solid...it's the exact same thing I tell my single friends: don't be a girlfriend. Having that mentality will change your entire energy, the men will feel the shift in you, and they'll come chasing.

But then you need to have the right emotional energy to sustain the relationship. There's a relationship guru named Rori Raye whose advice I take as gospel...she is so spot on about everything. I bought her entire program, and it changed all of my relationships for the better. She says the same thing about not being a girlfriend.

Initially I thought her newsletter was crazy. But then it worked! She and Christian Carter.

 

[Chocolate_Silk]

I'm childish, I took my like back when I saw how ugly her husband is.

you are myyyyyyy kind of petty lmao

 

[prettyinpurple]

It would take a lot of money for me to go here. Like I would need to know that my great grandchildren would be wealthy. He looks like a toe. Her options must've been limited.

I am noticing a lot of the Peter Griffin looking white men are coming to the women of color now. At least 3 women, all of color on my FB timeline popped up with the fat whites. I wonder if its becoming a thing like big white women and black men?

A man with a face that looks like a toe.

Peter Griffin husbands.

Y'all are killing me.

 

[dancinstallion]

How do y'all know this dude is poor? I don't see an Indian girl getting with a poor white guy when she has options back in India, in NY, plus in the UK probably for an Indian dude who is doing well for himself. Indian girls have options that a lot of Black girls do not in the form of arranged marriages. They have mothers, aunts, sisters, cousins and whatnot looking out for good men to marry their single women...and when they come across one, they are quick to put their girl on to dude. Black girls...most are rolling solo in the dating world and at some point, they are competing with sisters, aunts, and whoever to get an eligible bachelor. Not even a rich one...just a decent bachelor lol. I think Dude has more money than his looks portray.

Plus, too many Black women focus on looks. They are quick to reproduce for a dude because he is cute without thinking about what else he has to offer. So their kids are cute but not smart. Kids that they are raising on their own or with the help of their elderly mama/papa, etc. because their cutie is more into creating spawns than creating families. Not to say that a man can't look good and be smart but most are not questioning a guy's intellect when focusing on his looks. Most white/Indian girls don't care....or at least they don't prioritize looks. Their kids are raised in homes with generational wealth to help them financially, with school legacy for their kid's educational future, and with social networks for their kid to get ahead in a career. Meanwhile some of us are just proud that Missy and Junior inherited good looks. SMH

Dude is okay looking. Ole girl made a good decision for herself and got what she wanted.

You make valid points. The type of black homes you are referring to dont make eduacation a priority, so the cute and the ugly kids arent smart. Those same women produce to quickly with men period. So it is not about his looks they are just happy they have man.

You cant compare Indian homes with black homes because of the culture differences. Blacks arent into arranged marriages but I do know a few well to do blacks that will set their kids/relatives/friends up with someone they think is best for them.

Looks are still on my check off list it isnt must have but it is still on the list.
A guy has to be attractive to me. Not fine or gorgeous but nice looking or average. because after an argument an ugly man can NOT just roll over on me and color. Naw, you pissed me off and you're ugly. Boy bye.

the OP's husband is not cute and he looks out of shape. I'm good I would stay single.

 

[kblc06]

He ugly and poor. Pick a struggle. I'm not dating or marrying someone who looks like that unless my grandchildren are going to pick which philanthropical endeavor they want to pursue as a career.

Pippa's dude looks like Smeagol but has 3 billion dollars, he has the right to be ugly. This dude is ugly, a time suck and has short pockets. You can find a cute/average dude whose nose doesn't look like it belongs to my vibrator.

I literally had to take this comment and lay it on the altar! Why are you like dis ?!

 

[Reinventing21]

He looks Amerasian/Eurasian

 

[mstar]

Initially I thought her newsletter was crazy. But then it worked! She and Christian Carter.

I have gone through her Commitment Blueprint program, and I was shocked that every single thing happened in the exact order and the exact way that she said it would...it was like magic. She had The Queen's Code lady (Allison?) participating in that workshop as well. Her Lovescripts also work on men exactly like she says they will.

I tried to share her methods with a perpetually single ex-gf of mine, but - much like the beginning of this thread, LOL - she was hung up on Rori's hair and wardrobe. I was like, but Rori is happily married and has found the key to happiness both inside and outside. I'm following her programs and reaching deeper levels of commitment from men I'm married to and not married to (yes, the methods work on all men), and having my dreams fulfilled. While you sit here alone, broke, and sexually frustrated...but worried about ol girl's frizzy hair. Again, BW too often stay focused on the wrong things when it comes to relationships.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I have gone through her Commitment Blueprint program, and I was shocked that every single thing happened in the exact order and the exact way that she said it would...it was like magic. She had The Queen's Code lady (Allison?) participating in that workshop as well. Her Lovescripts also work on men exactly like she says they will.

I tried to share her methods with a perpetually single ex-gf of mine, but - much like the beginning of this thread, LOL - she was hung up on Rori's hair and wardrobe. I was like, but Rori is happily married and has found the key to happiness both inside and outside. I'm following her programs and reaching deeper levels of commitment from men I'm married to and not married to (yes, the methods work on all men), and having my dreams fulfilled. While you sit here alone, broke, and sexually frustrated...but worried about ol girl's frizzy hair. Again, BW too often stay focused on the wrong things when it comes to relationships.

Sure did!
And it all made sense after I started doing what she said.
I think she's way better than the men love witches authors that seem to be so popular.

 

[intellectualuva]

Interesting thread....They are equally yoked and I bet he worships her.

Really going to check out this rori person, though. Lol.

 

[IslandMummy]

I literally had to take this comment and lay it on the altar! Why are you like dis ?!

The lord knows my heart

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Here's what I never understood about not being a girlfriend. I get the concept, but I do believe that a couple needs some time one on one to see if they work.

Ex. If I'm dating guys a, b, and c, then I'm getting need filled from all of them. How am I truly able to see if guy a can take care of them if there are other guys filling them same function?

I don't know. Maybe I need more info on this. Bc it sounds good, but I always thought the relationship was the foundation you'd be taking into marriage.

This is fine when you're younger. I think when you aren't playing games it's

You go by feel. When it feels right, you'll know.

Also, tbh many men are going to drop out of this competition...of the ones who are serious and stick around, you'll be able to discern who deserves to win. There will often be one clear winner who stands out above the rest.

You'll be spending plenty of time with each of them to be able to tell what each of their strengths are, but because you're still dating, no one guy will get all of your time and attention exclusively. That's actually attractive to a man. Most of us make the mistake of giving our all to a man, and it usually doesn't pay off in the end. No man should get your all until there's a ring on your finger...and even after marriage, it's wise to always retain a little bit of mystique.

Also, I'm of the opinion that there is no such thing as having too many needs filled! I would just roll with it and have fun.

See you are right. It is different depending on the situation. Like if you're in college sure have a boyfriend, you will probably marry him after four years anyways lol. That's different than say, four years at age 33 (and now you're 37)

 

[SurferBabe]

I'm reading one of Rori's articles now and I like what she has to say so far. It is solid advice. I guess what's missing is a worthy prospect which won't be happening until I escape this hell hole city when this contract is up. I'm perfectly fine with waiting. I'm all for any advice that encourages women to just be and let the man take the reins.

 

[mstar]

I'm reading one of Rori's articles now and I like what she has to say so far. It is solid advice. I guess what's missing is a worthy prospect which won't be happening until I escape this hell hole city when this contract is up. I'm perfectly fine with waiting. I'm all for any advice that encourages women to just be and let the man take the reins.

You're supposed to keep dating anyway. Every man who shows up in your life is an opportunity, an invitation to practice the skills she's teaching about keeping your heart open and leading with your feelings. It does take practice, so I see the value in her advice...

Also, always dating and being open to new men changes your energy from "this city is a hellhole and I can't wait to get out of here," to something a little softer, more positive, and more approachable...which makes it possible for the one eligible man in that city to find you. Kwim?

 

[SurferBabe]

You're supposed to keep dating anyway. Every man who shows up in your life is an opportunity, an invitation to practice the skills she's teaching about keeping your heart open and leading with your feelings. It does take practice, so I see the value in her advice...

Also, always dating and being open to new men changes your energy from "this city is a hellhole and I can't wait to get out of here," to something a little softer, more positive, and more approachable...which makes it possible for the one eligible man in that city to find you. Kwim?

Wow, you just made me realize a major roadblock in my dating life. I could be actively dating but I choose not to because I don't feel it with anyone I meet. The kicker is that when I'm not feeling the guy, he chases more. It makes sense. I guess what she teaches comes naturally to us when we're not smitten.

Where's your book?

 

[sheanu]

I am surprised she is Indian. They don't come off as this in charge.

In my experience they can be pretty aggressive but I guess it varies.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

well not everyone can make sandwiches for a ring chile

I wonder if they ever got married. I was so disgusted by that story, I didn't even bother to keep track.

As for the story in the OP, it's great advice. I've heard that many times before. I just think many women are too afraid to risk it. But that should show them he's not willing to work for them

 

[intellectualuva]

I wonder if they ever got married. I was so disgusted by that story, I didn't even bother to keep track.

As for the story in the OP, it's great advice. I've heard that many times before. I just think many women are too afraid to risk it. But that should show them he's not willing to work for them

They definitely got.married because I saw the pictures of them on a boat or something and the mother looking over it. Lol

 

[tru4reele]

Yall going in. Dang

 

[LadyPBC]

So I have a few more questions and I'm definitely interested in reading more from Rori and Katarina. So:

• are we intimately involved with the many men we are dating? (I can't do that)
• are we inviting them into our personal space (homes etc.)?

I have spent my whole life focusing on one guy at a time and expecting the same. This will be a difficult transition for me.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

So I have a few more questions and I'm definitely interested in reading more from Rori and Katarina. So:

• are we intimately involved with the many men we are dating? (I can't do that)
• are we inviting them into our personal space (homes etc.)?

I have spent my whole life focusing on one guy at a time and expecting the same. This will be a difficult transition for me.

No. That's not safe.
She's (Rori) talking about emotional intimacy not physical.

 

[Mai Tai]

In comparison with Indian men, she may have hit jackpot.

@Topsido

I have a really good friend (gorgeous black woman) who is dating an Indian man and I promise you he looks like Rick Fox with the salt & pepper hair and all. Dude is super fine and well dressed. With that said...I do realize that that he is a rarity.