makeupvixen
Well-Known Member
Oh and I cosign with Mai tai, who gives a hot damn let ppl talk
It has nothing to do with being insecure.
It has nothing to do with being insecure.
Ok, sorry, I don't get the dating politics of the States.
No offence!
Ok, sorry, I don't get the dating politics of the States.
No offence!
@Nefertiti- your post made me laugh and no I wouldn't create any tacky scenes, lol. I definitely wouldn't want anyone to do that to me. Honestly because he was my first bf, I would be lying if I said I didnt feel a little something but I am the one who ended the relationship and Lord knows years later I still have no desire to repeat it ever, ever again. As for him, he has thrown a few hints that he still has feelings but I never entertain his signals & turn down any invites to dinner or hanging out. Whenever I see him I always make sure it's in a group setting with our mutual friends so he doesn't get any misleading ideas or false hopes.
ETA: the throwing hints from him and invite to dinner happened before the new gf not recently.
^^^ Seriously an exgf planning a party for a dude who has a gf? How does exgf know that current gf isn't planning something? All these folks that you may see at the party you can't meet or see any other way? Just asking.
Thank you so much ladies for all of your responses. I too agree that having the surprise b-day party at his house is a bit strange but knowing him he'll just be excited to see all of this support for him. Also, if you all think simply attending is strange, I was originally asked to help with the actual planning because I know him so well but I declined. As you can tell it's a tricky situation since the opinions from you all of what I should or shouldn't do are almost split down the middle! I'm not 100% decided on what I'll do and I'll probably just do what I feel as the time of the party approaches. Part of me feels like I'm making this situation into a bigger deal than what it probably is. My friends who will be there are like my brothers and sisters and we haven't hung out since before the holidays so I'm moreso looking forward to just getting out, having fun and catching up with them vs. coming and being concerned with the new gf the entire night. A couple of my friends who will be there just got engaged, my ex's sister from out of town had a baby that she's been wanting me to meet for a while and all around the night will be filled with catching up with good company. Oh and my girlfriend has guy friends that will also be attending and I'm all for meeting a new potential!
Also my ex is still cool with his high school sweetheart (she's a cool aquaintance of mine) and they actually hung out "one-on-one" a week ago. In addition, the new girlfriend has never met my girl who is planning this party for him, so if anything I would think she would be more interested in who she is or even the high school sweetheart who will be at the party too. With this in mind, showing up to the party to show support and enjoy myself with my friends even if for a few minutes shouldn't be much of an issue. I would say hello to him, enjoy myself with everyone, and say goodbye when it's time to go. I'm definitely not a person into staring, flirting, or hovering over anyone with a significant other BUT please believe as Afrolatina mentioned, my fashionista game shall be on point right along with a huge fresh twist-out on my natural hair! I know the Cardinal Rule-never look a hot shabby mess in front of your ex!
You all have given so much helpful advice so of course I'll be back later in the weekend with an update as to whether or not I went and how the night played out. Thanks again and stay tuned..
Well I went to the surprise b-day party and had a wonderful time. Now the shock of the night was his girlfriend wasn't there. I have no clue what happened and I didn't ask any questions. He had fun though and really appreciated the support from everyone present. Thanks ladies for all of the advice and glad it turned out to be a fun drama free night.
All I say is put yourself in the new GF's shoes.
Not only would I NOT go, but I'd also not care about what anyone else thought. I guess once I'm done with a dude I'm done. Why be concerned with how you look to them anyway? You have to be yourself and do what makes you feel at ease. They're obviously not concerned with how they look from the outside looking in.
I'm sorry but a chick throwin a party for a dude at his house and she's not his woman gets the side eye from me. I know you mentioned the childhood friend part etc, but that alone just doesn't look right from the outside. Secondly with all of his exes around and female friends and childhood friends etc., it just comes off as a type of incestuous clique, where everybody is so "cool" that it's dysfunctional.
If these are your real friends, there will be plenty of other gatherings that won't impose unwelcomed closeness for you.
Well I went to the surprise b-day party and had a wonderful time. Now the shock of the night was his girlfriend wasn't there. I have no clue what happened and I didn't ask any questions. He had fun though and really appreciated the support from everyone present. Thanks ladies for all of the advice and glad it turned out to be a fun drama free night.