Zane version??? Can I get that?? I've got some late night entertaining to tend to and this will get the party started right!!!
Thanks Brooklyn and that's exactly why I need to get out of law enforcement. Everytime it came to cuffing a sister I just wanted to take her out back and say run chile run, git outta hea and don't come back.
But when it came to locking up the pedophiles and bank fraud folks, who were all white males by the way. I was like I'ma about to throw you in this cell and throw this key in the ocean. Good luck on finding it.
I have had to put some fine brothers away. Mostly due to credit card jobs. I was like....dang why...just tell me why?
Oh Lawd....can someone please tell me why my 20 year old daughter and her best friend who are both juniors in college just hacked my computer and.....read...everything about....everything.
They have both been bugging me all day to let them read and I was not even trying to hear that. So Mr. Lover Lover calls and I leave my computer in my office after carefully shutting it down. I go into my bedroom to have a private conversation with him and give him some ear candy.
I come out and her and the friend are both going up the stairs. I sit back down and he and I cam up. He had just gotten home from work and was about to hit the shower. So I'm telling him how my day went and that yeah I miss him. That I've decided to finally take my writing seriously and yada yada yada. He's like baby I got your back 250%.
So I'm telling him look I'm not trying to be like Terry McMillan. I don't believe in divorce, maybe lead poisioning, but not divorce.
Well they come back downstairs and I introduced him to the friend. He's says hello and it's nice to meet you. So her and my daughter keep giggling. But hey they are college students and both newly minted Deltas, so I'm used to their mindless chatter and giggling. Then the friend comes over to the cam and says, "Hello Mr. XXX, I've heard a lot about you. I mean ALOT about you". Way in the distance I think I hear my daughter saying did anyone see a coke can, I thought I just had one.
They keep laughing and I'm not really paying attention to them anymore. Then I hear my daughter say to the friend. Well like when we did the history fair project in the 10th grade and researched about how in back in Harlem, white women were getting raped. And everyone was afraid to go there.
Here's my dumb double dumb butt. "What did you say?" So the friend repeats her part. And I'm like "for real that reallly happened OMG I just wrote about that. But I made it up. I mean seriously I made it up right off the top of my head."
So the friend says, who didn't know about the high crime rate in Harlem. Now I'm just freaking out. I'm like what am I channeling or something. Because I write in the moment, just as I think of it.
My daughter is like yeah mom whatever, just like you thought Tyler Perry had gotten a hold of your story. (Meet The Browns is almost parallel to a story I wrote called "She was running again"). So I go to the text of the Zane version to prove it and show them that one little paragraph.
They are both like non-plussed. So he's still on the phone like read me what you wrote. No way man. Forget about that. So then I start picking up on little things they were saying like singing the song "Flashlight".
Then I ask the friend a question and she's like I'm hungry Ms. A are you cooking? I'm like nope ya'll own your own. I got writing to do. And she says "awww come on juicy" make us dinner.
I look at my daughter and she is turning bright red laughing. It suddenly dawns on me what has happened. The both take off running and I chase them through the house with a shoe. I was mortified. He's laughing and like see I told you to stop leaving that computer up.
They eventually tell me they read everything. Pt. 1 and Pt. 2. Went through the thread read the episodes...everything. They kept telling me it was no big deal and that I should not be embarassed, but dang my own daughter. The the friend tells her well now you know where you got it from and that she should write her a story. I would kill her dead.
Then the friend comes over to the cam and says, "Hello Mr. XXX, I've heard a lot about you. I mean ALOT about you". Way in the distance I think I hear my daughter saying did anyone see a coke can, I thought I just had one.
They keep laughing and I'm not really paying attention to them anymore. Then I hear my daughter say to the friend. Well like when we did the history fair project in the 10th grade and researched about how in back in Harlem, white women were getting raped. And everyone was afraid to go there.
Here's my dumb double dumb butt. "What did you say?" So the friend repeats her part. And I'm like "for real that reallly happened OMG I just wrote about that. But I made it up. I mean seriously I made it up right off the top of my head."
I got writing to do. And she says "awww come on juicy" make us dinner.
I look at my daughter and she is turning bright red laughing. It suddenly dawns on me what has happened. The both take off running and I chase them through the house with a shoe. I was mortified. He's laughing and like see I told you to stop leaving that computer up.
They eventually tell me they read everything. Pt. 1 and Pt. 2. Went through the thread read the episodes...everything. They kept telling me it was no big deal and that I should not be embarassed, but dang my own daughter. The the friend tells her well now you know where you got it from and that she should write her a story. I would kill her dead.
Ok, Now part of me wants to say that's what you get "Getting all these Grown Women Steamy, not working, leave Choir Rehearsal to come find out all about you and Mr. Man" but you know I can understand your embarrassment.. However, She's 20 and I am sure it will be ok..You are a very smart woman. You know your Daughter knows what her Momma is working with.. Well maybe not everything, but she knows now... Anyway, I think it will all be fine.. Forget Terry McMillian.. We got ElizaBlue in the House.. I am more than overjoyed for you..
This is too funny..
Uhh, Someone PLEASE send me the Zane, uncut version as well! I LOVE reading and Eliza is a writer!
PLEASE SEND A PM!
Ok, Now part of me wants to say that's what you get "Getting all these Grown Women Steamy, not working, leave Choir Rehearsal to come find out all about you and Mr. Man" but you know I can understand your embarrassment.. However, She's 20 and I am sure it will be ok..You are a very smart woman. You know your Daughter knows what her Momma is working with.. Well maybe not everything, but she knows now... Anyway, I think it will all be fine.. Forget Terry McMillian.. We got ElizaBlue in the House.. I am more than overjoyed for you..
This is too funny..
Loved this post!
I read the two entries and tips and let me say, I needs to get home with a quickness.
I have to admit that I recently started reading my first Zane novel, which I got bored with *Addicted* or maybe it wasn't fast enough, but I have to say, your vivid recollection to details is WAY BETTER THAN Zane. Your genre style has a smokey mellowness that is sultry hot. Even with the tempature in the 90s you had all of us wanting to get all sweaty with our own loves.
All I can say, I am enjoying the ride.
Well now...that's what I'm talkin' 'bout. M-O Women unite !
Thanks, EB! Whew!
My bff and I refer to big one's as "20 oz. Coke bottles" or just plain "20 ounces", so your Coke can reference had me rolling!