First date and the guy didn't even offer to pay...

Chiba_revolution

Chiba_revolution

New Member
I'm not sure what's wrong with me so I'll try to explain. I met this guy he's cute, funny and we share similar interests. We met at a club and have been txting everyday for a month untill we went on our first date on Friday.

We went to the cinema, pub and even Mcdonalds :lachen:
But not once did he offer to pay for anything he didn't even buy me a drink. I dunno...I was expected to be spoiled a bit. And another thing it's like I'm doing most of the chasing, I had to arrange the first date, I had to tell him how I feel first and even had to start asking him about a second date.

I don't get it, he says he really really likes me but it feels like I'm doing everything. I've even told him about this and he still thinks that I am going to arrange the second date.

Is he not that interested? Shy? Clueless? Immature? Opinions please he's making me mad. And I'm I wrong to feel a little resentful that he didn't even pay for anything?

**He did walk me home though**

This thread is now a year old, everything active now in this thread is an update. I am not longer having the same problem but thank you!
 
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So stop doing everything. Go on enjoying your life. If he really really likes you, he'll start doing something.
 
Maybe he saw it as two friends getting together as opposed to a date.

You two might have two different views of your relationship, he see's you just as a friend and you see him as interest.

I say, make yourself available to another man who is willing to do what you want him to do!
 
Next. :look:

It could just be that he's inexperienced and doesn't know that he's supposed to take the reigns.
 
Chiba_revolution said:
I'm not sure what's wrong with me so I'll try to explain. I met this guy he's cute, funny and we share similar interests. We met at a club and have been txting everyday for a month untill we went on our first date on Friday.

We went to the cinema, pub and even Mcdonalds :lachen:
But not once did he offer to pay for anything he didn't even buy me a drink. I dunno...I was expected to be spoiled a bit. And another thing it's like I'm doing most of the chasing, I had to arrange the first date, I had to tell him how I feel first and even had to start asking him about a second date.

I don't get it, he says he really really likes me but it feels like I'm doing everything. I've even told him about this and he still thinks that I am going to arrange the second date.

Is he not that interested? Shy? Clueless? Immature? Opinions please he's making me mad. And I'm I wrong to feel a little resentful that he didn't even pay for anything?

**He did walk me home though**
Click to expand...

Sounds like you are doing everything all wrong. My biggest advice to you is "stop being the man in this relationship". Stop chasing this guy and you will save yourself a lot of headache. Let him chase you. Stop texting him so much, stop talking to him all the time. STOP MAKING HIM A PRORITY when you aren't.
 
Why'd ya'll wait a month? :ohwell:
And was it officially said and set that this was a date? If not, then perhaps he's someone you can keep as a strictly platonic friend to go to the cinema, pub, and Mcs again. If you think you'll have a problem not sleeping w/ him, then yeah...ignore him.

ETA: I just read the part abot you chasing him. Sounds like you're too much into him. Yeah, just leave him alone.
 
Yes girl read the rues, and you would have left this loser alone at the Mikcey Dee's... He is just not into you, like you want him to be...

Actions speak LOUDER than words....
 
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We have a "rules" thread you may want to look at.
Click to expand...

You don't have to be rude.



I waited a month because it was the Christmas Break and we both went to different cities to spend time with our families for three weeks.
 
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I don't think she is trying o be rude... Just pointing you to a place that you may be able to find A LOT of answers ....

How old are you may I ask? Because, walking someone home should be a given not something extra... :perplexed

Chiba_revolution said:
You don't have to be rude.



I waited a month because it was the Christmas Break and we both went to different cities to spend time with our families for three weeks.
Click to expand...
 
How old are you may I ask? Because, walking someone home should be a given not something extra...
Click to expand...

Am 21, I added that extra because that's the only thing I was happy with. But he's 25.
 
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Whoa Chica, pump the brakes.... I am not gonna assume any further, because I can already tell by your responses....

Here is the Link to The Rules, a thread that MANY ladies who visit this forum has touched base in, and offered their opinions and so forth...

Happy dating!!!
 
Chiba_revolution said:
I found it rude, I obviously didn't see the thread. I wanted some advice , if you don't want to answer fine, I didn't expect that.
Click to expand...

Chiba: I think that was her answer. That "Rules" thread really does have some great info specifically focused on your situation. I, too, think it would be a great idea to check it out :yep: Maybe someone will bump it.
 
Chiba: I think that was her answer. That "Rules" thread really does have some great info specifically focused on your situation. I, too, think it would be a great idea to check it out Maybe someone will bump it.
Click to expand...
..Okay :) I will I assumed she was ignoring what I wrote

Whoa Chica, pump the brakes.... I am not gonna assume any further, because I can already tell by your responses....
Click to expand...

Whoah! assume what?
 
Op you asked, we all answered to help. I think you are putting your anger/unhappiness, if you will, in the wrong place. No one is being rude, just trying to give you a nudge in a good direction.

Good luck :yep: :)
 
Chiba_revolution said:
You don't have to be rude.

I waited a month because it was the Christmas Break and we both went to different cities to spend time with our families for three weeks.
Click to expand...

It was not meant to be rude. I am not here to make fun of younger women.

We have a lot of topics regarding the idea of chasing vs. not chasing men in this forum, and the Rules is a good background to the philosophy espoused by many of the women here.

Through about 20 threads and over years talking to women IRL, I have not known anyone who has had success chasing/pursuing men. We have gone over this in every possible way. The book The Rules has given me a way to check myself over the years when I have been tempted to chase.

Good luck.
 
Chiba_revolution said:
Okay!
I'm joining the "Rules" Thread

**closes thread**

You chat I won't reply lol I've got my answer
Click to expand...


Goodness me :nono::lachen:

I'm sure you will read this so: Glad you got the answers you needed. I am sure once you "get a life" so to speak, if this guy is truly interested he will notice you haven't been around so much. He will do things to show you he wants you by his side. Good luck!!
 
lol your right I read the last point I thought "what now"
But seriously thank you to everyone who typed on this thread.
Originally when the "Rules" was suggested since I had no idea what that was about I assumed LHCF brought out some rule saying I couldn't dicuss personal problems or something. I never thought you were trying to direct me to a partcular thread called "Rules" untill some posts and a link later.

Again thanx
 
Chiba_revolution said:
I'm not sure what's wrong with me so I'll try to explain. I met this guy he's cute, funny and we share similar interests. We met at a club and have been txting everyday for a month untill we went on our first date on Friday.

We went to the cinema, pub and even Mcdonalds :lachen:
But not once did he offer to pay for anything he didn't even buy me a drink. I dunno...I was expected to be spoiled a bit. And another thing it's like I'm doing most of the chasing, I had to arrange the first date, I had to tell him how I feel first and even had to start asking him about a second date.

I don't get it, he says he really really likes me but it feels like I'm doing everything. I've even told him about this and he still thinks that I am going to arrange the second date.

Is he not that interested? Shy? Clueless? Immature? Opinions please he's making me mad. And I'm I wrong to feel a little resentful that he didn't even pay for anything?

**He did walk me home though**
Click to expand...

He not that interested.:nono:
 
Chiba_revolution said:
I'm not sure what's wrong with me so I'll try to explain. I met this guy he's cute, funny and we share similar interests. We met at a club and have been txting everyday for a month untill we went on our first date on Friday.

We went to the cinema, pub and even Mcdonalds :lachen:
But not once did he offer to pay for anything he didn't even buy me a drink. I dunno...I was expected to be spoiled a bit. And another thing it's like I'm doing most of the chasing, I had to arrange the first date, I had to tell him how I feel first and even had to start asking him about a second date.

I don't get it, he says he really really likes me but it feels like I'm doing everything. I've even told him about this and he still thinks that I am going to arrange the second date.

Is he not that interested? Shy? Clueless? Immature? Opinions please he's making me mad. And I'm I wrong to feel a little resentful that he didn't even pay for anything?

**He did walk me home though**
Click to expand...

My tips...

I'd be careful of guys that you meet at a club or a bar. Now not all are bad, and a few people on this board met their hubbies at a club or a bar, but for the most part, dudes are a little more "courageous" than usual because of the alcohol and are more willing to exchange numbers and talk a good game... but put you two in a situation in the daytime and he might not have even stepped to you.

But okay, so numbers were exchanged and that's fine. He should have paid for the date. When you saw that you had to pay for the first part of the date, then you should have nixed the second two parts. So whatever was first (McDonald's/pub/cinema) should have been the end of it when you learned that he wasn't going to treat this as a date.

Also, at 25, he's old enough to know better, so he's not really all that "young."

Don't go on a second date with him and I'd cut him off if I were you because he's not worth getting mad over. Just charge this to the game and take it as a lesson learned. Also, don't listen to what he says, look at his actions. His actions contradict him saying that he really really likes you... I mean, he very well could feel that way, but if he's not going to show it, then it's not worth you worrying about it.

Good luck and enjoy the Rules thread!
 
Sounds like he just isnt that interested. i am sorry but if you are paying for yourself on these outings, they arent dates and he doesn't like you...

Are you sure this was a date and not two ppl hanging out?
 
He is really not into you. Stop trying so hard to have a relationship with him and stop wasting your time.

If a man is not into you, unless you're the queen of seduction (and I doubt you are, it takes skills most American are not aware of), there is nothing you can do.
 
Book Suggestions:
The Rules

Why Men Love B**CHES

He's Just Not That Into You


Do not pass go, do not collect $200 until you read these books or get an idea of what they are talking about.

The ladies on the relationship board are brutally honest, that's what we need sometimes as women.
 
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