Don't Go Natural

[Country gal]

ITA...I went natural because I wanted to. Not because of history, but I felt it was best for my hair. My mindset hasn't changed much from my relaxed days. I still like straight styles, length, and more shine. My biggest hang up is having patience for length, shrinkage, and frizz, not texture. Should I have stayed relaxed ? I think not. I love being natural, I'm just not comfortable with natural short hair, which makes my journey more challenging. Everybody is different and like africa said, people go natural for different reasons. People should decide what's best for them whether natural, relaxed, texturized, etc.. It's their choice.

I think CG should have maybe said that your natural journey will be more difficult or challenging if you don't have the mindset, but definitely not impossible.

Of Course they can do whatever they want it is their hair. I am just giving advice because I constantly read a running theme with folks concerning going natural and transitioning. Someone was kind enough to tell me early on, what's wrong with wearing the hair God gave you. She told me don't let others hangups get to you, because it is the hair that grows out of your head.

 

[Country gal]

I agree with you totally. My natural hair has a nick name, “baby”. After chemo I decided along with my doctors to grow my hair back naturally. I wanted to avoid the chemicals in perms. I had my head shaved (because of all of the bald patches) and went natural. In the beginning I hated my natural hair. I did not know how to take care of it at all. Yes, it was an ugly mess everyday until I decided to learn to care for my hair. Now two years later it is healthier than I can ever remember. I am just as proud of my hair as I am of being cancer free for two and a half years. I don’t care when someone that I knew before cancer tell me that they dislike my natural hair and that I looked better with a perm. I love my natural hair.

:bouncegre :bouncegre :bouncegre wonderful news about being cancer free. My mom had cancer so I know how hard it is with the hair. I am glad you are doing fine.

 

[africa]

Africa,

This is a forum. You are entitiled to your opinion regardless if it agrees with me or not. I am not of the mind that we all have to be on the same page. It is all in the interpretation. You are interpretating my post one way where someone else may interprete differently. I am not of the mindset that we all need to think alike.

Serious thinking needs to be involved when you make a change such as perming your hair or Big chopping or transitioning. Folks would say it's only hair but look how much time we spend on a "hair board". I am helping sistas out. I wished someone did a post like this two years ago when I was transitioning. The hardest part of going natural for me and many others is hearing negativity from folks use to seeing you one way or the "percieved negativity". When I first started I thought I would only have to date outside my race because I was told brothers don't like nappy hair. I look back to the that time and laugh becasue lots of black men are feeling me and my hair. When it starts in your mind the rest will follow. If you start off thinking majority of people are not going to like your hair, you give off that vibe. I went to work thinking everyone would hate it to the point I was insecure. Once I started confidently coming into work with my puffs and wearing my fro, folks was feeling it.

If my post comes off harsh, I apologize because that was not my intent. I just don't want folks under a false pretense. I vaquely remembered my natural hair from childhood. I realize it was very thick and healthy. I would see beautiful heads of natural hair on the board. I just refused to get in the mind set that I wanted hair like so and so. I wanted my natural hair to be the best it can be. Going natural was a very freeing experience. I absolutely love being natural. Sometimes it didn't always feel so wonderful. LHCF will set you up in thinking you would have nice hair like member A but member A may just take very good care of their hair. So I don't want members to think their hair is bad becuase it doesn't curl like Member A. This board has shown me how beautiful and healthy black hair can be regardless of texture or chemical process.

Completely understood. I know exactly what you meant in your original post. And yes, not all people will interpret it the way I think I would have when I started to transition. My intention was basically to let people know that having trouble internally or externally along their natural journal is okay. Folks are bound to be scared along the way (as you and I were) so they shouldn't feel that there is something wrong if it is something they can not wrap their heads around.

They should still give it a shot. Perhaps this is where are opinions diverge and that is okay. We can respectfully agree to disagree .

- love

 

[Southernbella.]

Completely understood. I know exactly what you meant in your original post. And yes, not all people will interpret it the way I think I would have when I started to transition. My intention was basically to let people know that having trouble internally or externally along their natural journal is okay. Folks are bound to be scared along the way (as you and I were) so they shouldn't feel that there is something wrong if it is something they can not wrap their heads around.

They should still give it a shot. Perhaps this is where are opinions diverge and that is okay. We can respectfully agree to disagree .

- love

ITA with your first post. Nobody wakes up and says, "I think I'll go natural today!" Everyone goes through a journey, and some people's journeys may take longer than others. Some women may try to transition 4 times before they go all the way, but they may learn something each time.

I was transitioning when I came here, but once I saw all the healthy relaxed heads, I decided to give my relaxed hair one more shot, and I'm glad I did. I did learn a lot while trying to transition though, and now I know that when I do go natural, I'm BC'ing, because transitioning is not for me.

 

[Dee-Licious]

I've noticed this as well Pooh. This type of rating is on all the natural threads!!

This is a great topic. I enjoyed reading all the responses. Very positive and motivating.

Like most of you I have also been made fun of by family and friends. Especially when Cinnabuns & I did the BC the whole family cracked down on us!! Because all of my aunts, girl cousins, and grandmothers are permed they figured the reason we cut off all our hair was because WE weren't treating our hair right. I just say this is the way God made me and they are making fun of His creation.

I am relaxed, and I don't plan on going natural because just my new growth gives me hell. This is just me though. I enjoyed reading this entire post, and I don't think the low rating came from relaxed heads, but maybe from naturals thinking she was discouraging people from going natural. I admire all that was said by the OP.. and if one is really serious about going natural, a post by one will not truly discourage them only enlighten them.

 

[so1913]

Interesting post, Curli. I haven't seen pictures of a straight 4B member.

I'm not sure how many are on this board that post or share pictures, but in the Fotki world there are PLENTY "4b's" with beautiful and desireable hair. I mean their hair and styles are off the hook! The support and admiration for ALL hair types is awesome outside of this board in other internet settings such as "Fotki". Not saying it's not present here! Just that the level is much higher in other settings , I know I visit, comment, and compliment them regularly along with numerous other people.

Although this board is GREAT when it comes to haircare, tips and ideas, when it comes to natural hair, there's so much more to see as far as acceptance and "love", info and support outside of this board. Honestly, I'm not too sure how comfortable "4b's" feel on this particular board when you have so many people stating that it is because their "4b" hair type they would NEVER stop relaxing or wear their hair natural, or that they would change their hair type in a second if they could at the drop of a dime. Before I get attacked, No I'm NOT saying this is the attitude of all relaxed ladies here, because it isn't. But some have opennly stated this, and if that's their reasoning, hey, that's cool. Doesn't affect me any. We all have our own reasons for wearing our hair and doing to our hair what we do. No one said we all have to think alike Honestly, most of my natural hair talk and sharing of info happens off this board.

Sorry for all the edits, but lately I just feel I (we) have to put disclaimers on everything I (we) say or else things are interpreted to the extreme and taken completely out of context.

 

[Parvathi]

.
Although this board is GREAT when it comes to haircare, tips and ideas, when it comes to natural hair, there's so much more to see as far as acceptance and "love" outside of this board. Honestly, I'm not too sure how comfortable "4b's" feel on this particular board when you have so many people stating that it is because their "4b" hair type they would NEVER stop relaxing or wear their hair natural, or that they would change their hair type in a second if they could at the drop of a dime. No I'm NOT saying this is the attitude of all relaxed ladies here, because it isn't. (before ya'll jump on me for pointing out what is in fact evident on this board)

PREACH!!!

Very good observation! Not all forms of natural hair types are desired and lauded here, from both relaxed and natural members

 

[CityGirl]

Love the Judy Garland quote;as well as your confidence and style.

 

[caligirl]

It is always better to be a first rate version of yourself than a second rate version of someone else.”

I LOVE this quote! I think I do a better job of making my natural hair look good then trying to make my hair look like something it's not.

 

[so1913]

PREACH!!!

Very good observation! Not all forms of natural hair types are desired and lauded here, from both relaxed and natural members

But it's cool, because you just have to find where you feel most comfortable. This board isn't a "bad" place, far from it! I love it here! There is sooooo much info, and great ladies to network with! But as with anything else, like schools, clubs, greek organizations which have similar goals and purposes, they have an overall tone and it may not fit "everyone".

 

[PaperClip]

I am relaxed, and I don't plan on going natural because just my new growth gives me hell. This is just me though. I enjoyed reading this entire post, and I don't think the low rating came from relaxed heads, but maybe from naturals thinking she was discouraging people from going natural. I admire all that was said by the OP.. and if one is really serious about going natural, a post by one will not truly discourage them only enlighten them.

So, MsDanele.... would I be wrong to question the credibility of your information by inquiring about your natural hair status (meaning that either you wear your hair natural or if you ever experienced your hair as (full) natural?), esp. if you are giving advice about natural hair?

Here's my point: it's probably better for folks to not ask me about cooking 'cause hey, it's not my best skill (Yikes! ) but I can tell you a lil' something about going to graduate school and getting overdrugged with anesthesia during a breast reduction surgery and ending up in intensive care because I'VE BEEN THROUGH IT....

And this is not to say that a relaxed hair person can't tell me anything.... I am open to different perspectives...but I cannot lie...I am in REHAB , and just like somebody who's addicted to something (of course hair isn't as SERIOUS as a drug addiction, for example) therefore, I have to be careful so that I enter not into temptation, if you will . That was my main reason for supporting the idea of a separate hair board....

 

[mscounselor]

You ladies are right....there aren't many pictures of 4b ladies...I do believe there was a post in the haircare forum on people posting 4a/b albums...it was very inspirational to see.

I dont think you need to be natural to caution someone against jumping before looking. Some may prefer to hear it from someone who is.... Just my opinion.

 

[Cheleigh]

[Most natural pictures I've seen on this board highlight some degree of curl definition -- I never heard anyone compliment another for having "nappy" hair. Which implies to me that among naturals there is still an "ideal" look.

That may be the case on this board (which is unfortunate if so), but not the case on some other boards and forums, thankfully.

Nappy hair is the least desirable hair type, so it's pretty clear why it gets the fewest compliments. I love nappy hair, but it wasn't instanteous--it took time, and still takes time. I think CG's post is on point. I have a BFF who is also natural (her scalp cannot tolerate chemicals), and wearing braids in part to grow out her hair. She says to her hubby: "I can't wait for my hair to get longer so it can look like Cheleigh's hair." Now, my hair ain't all that. It's nappy. Coily, yes, but nappy all the same. No one will ever mistake my hair for "good hair." But I can tell already that her hair is not going to have the same texture as mine. She will have hair advantages: she will show length faster than I ever will; she will be able to wear big cottony afros and beuatiful pony puffs must faster than I will; her hair is a stunning jet black color; if she wants some additional texture definition, she will be able to wear fierce twists and twistouts.

BUT, if her heart is set on her hair looking like mine, instead of transitioning her mind to realize that her hair is just as beautiful and as much of a blessing...then she will face unnecessary stress and disappointment about her hair. Some of the responsibility is mine--I have to encourge her, share how beautiful I think her hair is, and help her care for her hair to it's fullest advantage and health. The rest, though, is up to her.

When I was transitioning, I though my hair would grow down. It doesn't. It grows out like most type 4s. While I loved my hair, it did take me a minute to comes to grips with the fact that I would be wearing an afro a whole lot. I'd wanted to avoid afros because I didn't think I liked them much.

Well whattya know--I love afros now, especially shrunken afros. I changed my mindset once I realized that I'd be hating my hair a whole lot if I don't like afros.

I don't think you have to jump up and start loving your hair from the moment of the BC. But, I do think you have to be willing to continue your mental transition and the first step is to realize--it's NOT just hair. Sometimes we don't want to leave the house on a bad hair day, so I won't minimize the emotions that are tied to how we view, and others view, our hair, be it relaxed, natural or somewhere in between.

 

[so1913]

That may be the case on this board (which is unfortunate if so), but not the case on some other boards and forums, thankfully.

Nappy hair is the least desirable hair type, so it's pretty clear why it gets the fewest compliments. I love nappy hair, but it wasn't instanteous--it took time, and still takes time. I think CG's post is on point. I have a BFF who is also natural (her scalp cannot tolerate chemicals), and wearing braids in part to grow out her hair. She says to her hubby: "I can't wait for my hair to get longer so it can look like Cheleigh's hair." Now, my hair ain't all that. It's nappy. Coily, yes, but nappy all the same. No one will ever mistake my hair for "good hair." But I can tell already that her hair is not going to have the same texture as mine. She will have hair advantages: she will show length faster than I ever will; she will be able to wear big cottony afros and beuatiful pony puffs must faster than I will; her hair is a stunning jet black color; if she wants some additional texture definition, she will be able to wear fierce twists and twistouts.

BUT, if her heart is set on her hair looking like mine, instead of transitioning her mind to realize that her hair is just as beautiful and as much of a blessing...then she will face unnecessary stress and disappointment about her hair. Some of the responsibility is mine--I have to encourge her, share how beautiful I think her hair is, and help her care for her hair to it's fullest advantage and health. The rest, though, is up to her.

When I was transitioning, I though my hair would grow down. It doesn't. It grows out like most type 4s. While I loved my hair, it did take me a minute to comes to grips with the fact that I would be wearing an afro a whole lot. I'd wanted to avoid afros because I didn't think I liked them much.

Well whattya know--I love afros now, especially shrunken afros. I changed my mindset once I realized that I'd be hating my hair a whole lot if I don't like afros.

I don't think you have to jump up and start loving your hair from the moment of the BC. But, I do think you have to be willing to continue your mental transition and the first step is to realize--it's NOT just hair. Sometimes we don't want to leave the house on a bad hair day, so I won't minimize the emotions that are tied to how we view, and others view, our hair, be it relaxed, natural or somewhere in between.

I like your post

 

[Poohbear]

I'm not sure how many are on this board that post or share pictures, but in the Fotki world there are PLENTY "4b's" with beautiful and desireable hair. I mean their hair and styles are off the hook! The support and admiration for ALL hair types is awesome outside of this board in other internet settings such as "Fotki". Not saying it's not present here! Just that the level is much higher in other settings , I know I visit, comment, and compliment them regularly along with numerous other people.

Although this board is GREAT when it comes to haircare, tips and ideas, when it comes to natural hair, there's so much more to see as far as acceptance and "love", info and support outside of this board. Honestly, I'm not too sure how comfortable "4b's" feel on this particular board when you have so many people stating that it is because their "4b" hair type they would NEVER stop relaxing or wear their hair natural, or that they would change their hair type in a second if they could at the drop of a dime. Before I get attacked, No I'm NOT saying this is the attitude of all relaxed ladies here, because it isn't. But some have opennly stated this, and if that's their reasoning, hey, that's cool. Doesn't affect me any. We all have our own reasons for wearing our hair and doing to our hair what we do. No one said we all have to think alike Honestly, most of my natural hair talk and sharing of info happens off this board.

Sorry for all the edits, but lately I just feel I (we) have to put disclaimers on everything I (we) say or else things are interpreted to the extreme and taken completely out of context.

Me too! I've seen a lot of 4b natural albums and 4b hair texture is beautiful to me! I like to see all natural hair textures...straight, wavy, curly, and kinky. There's no ideal texture within the realm of naturals. Its all about embracing and loving your natural hair texture as is. Trying to make it look like a different texture all the time or wishing it was a different texture will set you up for failure.

 

[MzTami]

Of Course they can do whatever they want it is their hair. I am just giving advice because I constantly read a running theme with folks concerning going natural and transitioning. Someone was kind enough to tell me early on, what's wrong with wearing the hair God gave you. She told me don't let others hangups get to you, because it is the hair that grows out of your head.

ITA..that people can do whatever with their hair, and I'm not attacking your advice. It's just that your advice to me seems as if you are telling people Don't go natural if they are not ready for x,y,z. Which in my opinion is not the case. You can still go natural while learning x,y,z, not necessarily unless you're ready for x, y, z. My comphrension isn't the greatest but the paragraph below states your advice. I was only giving my opinion of the message. I apologize if I don't agree with all your advice.
BTW...I love your confidence and attitude! I hope to get there soon.

unless you are ready to make the commitment. The commitment is learning how to properly take care and style your natural hair, trading out the relaxed mind for the natural mind (trust me it is a difference, even in the way we talk) and pushing through any negativity or mental hang ups.

 

[Parvathi]

And this is not to say that a relaxed hair person can't tell me anything.... I am open to different perspectives...but I cannot lie...I am in REHAB , and just like somebody who's addicted to something (of course hair isn't as SERIOUS as a drug addiction, for example) therefore, I have to be careful so that I enter not into temptation, if you will . That was my main reason for supporting the idea of a separate hair board....

notworthynotworthy

Where/when did you get REHABILITATED?

 

[blazingthru]

Countrygal,

I do not disagree with anything you said and have a probelm with the natural only if its good hair mentality as well, but I do take issue with your adivce to not go natural until you are prepared to do so. It kind of comes off like you are saying don't do it until you think like this, feel like this, etc. Like you have to have a specific mindset to join 'the club'.
Its' often hard to know what you are getting into until you are already there. If I had known all of it , I definitley would have hesitated. Some will try being natural not confident of their final decision, and that is their perogative. If they try, and they fail then that is for them to deal with in their life. The unfortunate reality is that its' hard for black women to go natural for a variety of reasons (self, friends and family, etc). As sisters trying to grow our hair out natural, healthy, and long, I think it is more productive when we support each other with specific advice on how to overcome these hurdles. )

I agree totally, I only decided to go natural because of all the benefits I heard and I keep hearing others experience that encouraged me to take that step. Before I found this website, it never ever occurred to me to even consider going natural. I didn't think natural was cute or attractive. Eventually, I started seeing how beautiful our hair really was in all its textures. but I learned that through everyones experience here on this forum. I am 100% natural and I had no clue what type of hair I had and I needed a lot of encouragement, because I had no support - none whatsoever- It turns out that I did have curly, soft wavy hair and my hair is easy to manage. Still it was not something I was use to or found easy to deal with until my cousin - encouraged by me chopped off her brastrap length hair and needed daily encouragement to get through it. We have the same hair textures except hers has more 4a in it then mine. I have atleast three different hair textures on my head. The front and back is I'ld say 2C and the rest is 3c and on the top sides might be 4a. Not sure about the coding. I have very loose curls in the front and back, tight curls on the top and sides but the side closes to my face is very difficult to curl up at all. We encourage each other daily. I love being natural but everyday its a challenge to find a style that would look attractive on me and make me still look professional for the work place and to live with the constant questions and strange looks. Everyday I learn to appreciate my natual beauty. As I learn to deal with my hair.

 

[PaperClip]

notworthynotworthy

Where/when did you get REHABILITATED?

Girl, I'm STILL IN REHAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't take no chances....

 

[so1913]

Me too! I've seen a lot of 4b natural albums and 4b hair texture is beautiful to me! I like to see all natural hair textures...straight, wavy, curly, and kinky. There's no ideal texture within the realm of naturals. Its all about embracing and loving your natural hair texture as is. Trying to make it look like a different texture all the time or wishing it was a different texture will set you up for failure.

I agree with you girl as far as sharing this feeling. My bestest Fotki friend (who will be joining us soon ) has the most AWESOME tightly textured, thick, dark BEAUTIFUL, natural hair!!!! I mean GEORGEOUS!!! But you gotta put in your disclaimer . The truth is, as many people will point out I'm sure in response to your comments, even all of us naturals don't, infact think this way, . It's all good though. It all comes down to how YOU feel about YOU!

 

[Parvathi]

ITA..that people can do whatever with their hair, and I'm not attacking your advice. It's just that your advice to me seems as if you are telling people Don't go natural if they are not ready for x,y,z. Which in my opinion is not the case. You can still go natural while learning x,y,z, not necessarily unless you're ready for x, y, z. My comphrension isn't the greatest but the paragraph below states your advice. I was only giving my opinion of the message. I apologize if I don't agree with all your advice.
BTW...I love your confidence and attitude! I hope to get there soon.

Perhaps CG can clarify this but I think she is talking about a mental state of being PRIOR to doing the BC or transitioning to natural.

Usually folks who are not mentally prepared for the stigmas attached to being natural jump off the natural hair bandwagon and returns to relax. Or they return because they thought their hair would look like Tracee Ellis Ross or Cree Summers but realize their hair can never be that texture.

Of course I am not speaking about the women who go natural for medical reasons or for those who like versatility and have intentions of going back and forth from being natural to being relaxed.

I'm speaking about the women who plan on maintaining nappturality but because of they weren't prepared for social stereotypes/discrimination returned to what they knew.

And IMHO, women who went natural, didn't like their natural hair texture, and decided to texturize is as mentally enslaved as the natural who returned to being a permie because of social stigmas.

 

[Incredible1ne]

Great post. I went natural basically on a whim about two months ago. I knew my hair texture from when I was a child and I know that the natural texture was extremely coarse, kinky, and very tightly coiled. So I wasn't expecting my hair to look like Kelis or Mya or somebody w/ that texture, that's just not me. I know that and I accept that and it's fine by me. The one thing that is annoying to me is when I do go to my best friend to get my hair done (she's a stylist) she's throwing all kinda goop in my head to "bring out the curls." The first time she said that I said girl, what curls are you seeing I'm satisfied with the texture of my hair but my family and friends are not.

 

[Country gal]

Completely understood. I know exactly what you meant in your original post. And yes, not all people will interpret it the way I think I would have when I started to transition. My intention was basically to let people know that having trouble internally or externally along their natural journal is okay. Folks are bound to be scared along the way (as you and I were) so they shouldn't feel that there is something wrong if it is something they can not wrap their heads around.

They should still give it a shot. Perhaps this is where are opinions diverge and that is okay. We can respectfully agree to disagree .

- love

I agree. If anything I was hoping to point out to them some of the challenges they may face. Some naturals don't face any negativity. For me it really was my family who had a hard time dealing with it. My grandfather would look at my hair and say all that pretty black, straight hair is gone. I just want them to be prepared for some static so they won't be surprised by it. I had a harder time with older folks than younger folks. That was just my experience. My title is worded that way to get folks to read. Ya'll know I am sales so I know how to get attention.

 

[MzTami]

Perhaps CG can clarify this but I think she is talking about a mental state of being PRIOR to doing the BC or transitioning to natural.

Usually folks who are not mentally prepared for the stigmas attached to being natural jump off the natural hair bandwagon and returns to relax. Or they return because they thought their hair would look like Tracee Ellis Ross or Cree Summers but realize their hair can never be that texture.

Of course I am not speaking about the women who go natural for medical reasons or for those who like versatility and have intentions of going back and forth from being natural to being relaxed.

I'm speaking about the women who plan on maintaining nappturality but because of they weren't prepared for social stereotypes/discrimination returned to what they knew.

And IMHO, women who went natural, didn't like their natural hair texture, and decided to texturize is as mentally enslaved as the natural who returned to being a permie because of social stigmas.

You know it's really not a big deal, and I'm not trying to make it one. So lets just move on.

 

[Country gal]

Perhaps CG can clarify this but I think she is talking about a mental state of being PRIOR to doing the BC or transitioning to natural.

Usually folks who are not mentally prepared for the stigmas attached to being natural jump off the natural hair bandwagon and returns to relax. Or they return because they thought their hair would look like Tracee Ellis Ross or Cree Summers but realize their hair can never be that texture.

Of course I am not speaking about the women who go natural for medical reasons or for those who like versatility and have intentions of going back and forth from being natural to being relaxed.

I'm speaking about the women who plan on maintaining nappturality but because of they weren't prepared for social stereotypes/discrimination returned to what they knew.

QUOTE]

The text above is what I was trying to say. Remember in the nineties folks would do the fingers pointed at someone else eyes. You and I are on the same page above.

 

[Soleado]

ITA with the OP. I told my sister flat out that I did not think that she was going to make it as a natural because she was too hung up on the good hair/bad hair mentality. She consistently uses such terminology as good hair, bad hair, good grade of hair, etc. When I am around she is always tugging on my coils and saying if she wonders if her hair will look like mine. I totally think that when she cuts off the remainder of her relaxer and if her hair does not have the curls/coils that she is wanting she is going to go right back to relaxing.

It is nice to be inspired by naturals, but that inspiration should be garnered from the creative styles that they might be doing, like comb coils, twists, puffs,etc. It should not be because they have a certain hair texture. I can admire Amel Larrieux and Cree Summer's hair, but I know full well that is not my hair type and never will be.

I also agree with one of the posters that some naturals have jacked up attitudes regarding hair texture as well. If I had a dollar for how many times people have come up to me asking what I used on my hair to make it coil, or what I did, I would be Bill Gates rich. I try to be as nice as I can and accomadating of their questions, but sometimes it is annoying because folks act like it is rocket science. Some also have made negative comments regarding their own hair texture.

 

[StartinOvah]

i must admit before i big chopped, i was confused by this mental change i was supposed to have prior. i had the time and the resources...i didn't know i needed anything else. i wanted to go natural because i wanted to stop breakage. and i was very curious about my texture. i didn't really know what it looked like.

when i big chopped, i didn't recognize myself. it was me with really short hair. it was me with an afro. it was me with hair that isn't straight. and i admit, i was scurred. i couldn't undo it. i questioned myself whether or not to texturize "back" to a place i thought i was familiar with. i fought the temptation all week. i kept asking myself, "what did you expect?". i saw that my expectations weren't accurate. at all.

funny enough, i didn't hide my hair. i wore my then uncomfortable afro to work everyday. a little gel and some miss jessie's and i was out the door. like cg said, i was faking it! people either gave me a compliment or said nothing at all. and the whole time i wondered what people really thought about me.

now, i'm not usully one to get a reality check so easily, but after a week of being natural, i put braids in. not because i got tired of faking it. but because i wanted to gain more length thru the c&g method and go back to the quick and easy morning routine. also the braids keep me from a serious case of hand-in-hair disease. as the days passed, i began to recognize the chick in the mirror. lord knows i spent enough time in it! i started to admire the reflection and she didn't look half bad after a while. i guess that why they call it a transition.

i love my texture now. and i'm estatic with the health of my hair. no breakage! and i have hair in the nape. woohoo!! but my road to transitioning was paved with lofty ideals of what my hair would be like. it was hard to accept me for me. i almost wish i hadn't seen as many great hair albums when i was a lurker. i wouldn't have had anything to compare it to, thus loving what i saw instead of wishing it was something else.

i'm fine now but don't get me wrong. i still want length like parvathi by yesterday. and i still sometimes wish my coils weren't so dern tight. but its alright with me.

i still don't know if that was the infamous mental change or me just being nervous at the newness of it all. i guess i'm a work in progress.

 

[PaperClip]

i must admit before i big chopped, i was confused by this mental change i was supposed to have prior. i had the time and the resources...i didn't know i needed anything else. i wanted to go natural because i wanted to stop breakage. and i was very curious about my texture. i didn't really know what it looked like.

when i big chopped, i didn't recognize myself. it was me with really short hair. it was me with an afro. it was me with hair that isn't straight. and i admit, i was scurred. i couldn't undo it. i questioned myself whether or not to texturize "back" to a place i thought i was familiar with. i fought the temptation all week. i kept asking myself, "what did you expect?". i saw that my expectations weren't accurate. at all.

funny enough, i didn't hide my hair. i wore my then uncomfortable afro to work everyday. a little gel and some miss jessie's and i was out the door. like cg said, i was faking it! people either gave me a compliment or said nothing at all. and the whole time i wondered what people really thought about me.

now, i'm not usully one to get a reality check so easily, but after a week of being natural, i put braids in. not because i got tired of faking it. but because i wanted to gain more length thru the c&g method and go back to the quick and easy morning routine. also the braids keep me from a serious case of hand-in-hair disease. as the days passed, i began to recognize the chick in the mirror. lord knows i spent enough time in it! i started to admire the reflection and she didn't look half bad after a while. i guess that why they call it a transition.

i love my texture now. and i'm estatic with the health of my hair. no breakage! and i have hair in the nape. woohoo!! but my road to transitioning was paved with lofty ideals of what my hair would be like. it was hard to accept me for me. i almost wish i hadn't seen as many great hair albums when i was a lurker. i wouldn't have had anything to compare it to, thus loving what i saw instead of wishing it was something else.

i'm fine now but don't get me wrong. i still want length like parvathi by yesterday. and i still sometimes wish my coils weren't so dern tight. but its alright with me.

i still don't know if that was the infamous mental change or me just being nervous at the newness of it all. i guess i'm a work in progress.

Hi, StartinOvah.... Looks like I'm right behind you in terms of time since your last relaxer.... It will be exactly 10 months tomorrow! WOW!!!!!

I commend your courage for doing the BC and wearing it out.... I have not been brave enough to do so...yet....

 

[Country gal]

So1913- Girl, I am not even going to touch the hair typing issue with a ten feet pole. The desire of a certain hair type is crazy but I promised not to go into that.

I need to see more fotki. Sometimes I don’t know someone is a 4b too. The whole typing is confusing to me. I typed my hair because I had to ask another LHCF member what I was. I know some of us like the hair types of other members.

Citygirl and caligirl- I know it sounds corny but the Judy Garland quote really hit home one day in college. Every since hearing it I took it to heart.

Ms Tami- I am not upset with you. I welcome the dialogue. My personality is just strong. So I do come off as strong in my text too.

Jlove- Thanks, sweetie.

Ladies most of all I wanted to start an intro to a conversation. I am enjoying the dialogue.

Startingovah- The newness is what I am talking about. Sometimes change can be very scary but if you push through you may like what you see. I do see naturals perming their hair again. What I notice is sometimes they have a better understanding of their hair.

 

[Tene]

I'm glad you started this post CG, this is a wonderful post and I agree with everything you and some others have said.