Would You Rather Have Damaged Relaxed Hair or Healthy Natural 4b Hair?

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this is like "the lesser of two evils" question.. i dont think that 4b hair is an "evil" at all, its one of the most beautiful types in my opinion. i think people are afraid of having 4b hair cause they are ignorant about the care/opt to honestly be (in my opinion) lazy and just relax it as a way to get out of the effort 4b hair (or natural hair period) takes.


to answer. i would take damaged or healthy natural hair over relaxed hair (damaged healthy, butt length, flourishing, whatever) any day.
 
march87 said:
It's a shame that people will not listen. They will eventually learn hopefully.
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I know right! Chemically altered or natural hair, who doesn't want that full head of healthy hair? But I think the sad thing is...I have done this b4 tho, especially in the 8th grade oh my goodness my childhood days!....would let the relaxer :sad:sit in my dogg on head for the full 15-20 min...:perplexed...to get my nappy *** 4b hair...:blush:...straight, b/c that kept me out of the nappy-head police's way...ahhhh:nono:! And when grown folks think this is okay b/c their achieving the bone straight hair...wow! There's nothing wrong with relax hair but like most have said, folks will perfer straight hair. I think We need to (re)educate our young'ns on hair period b/c this is time when good and bad habits start.
 
vlucious said:
this is like "the lesser of two evils" question.. i dont think that 4b hair is an "evil" at all, its one of the most beautiful types in my opinion. i think people are afraid of having 4b hair cause they are ignorant about the care/opt to honestly be (in my opinion) lazy and just relax it as a way to get out of the effort 4b hair (or natural hair period) takes.


to answer. i would take damaged or healthy natural hair over relaxed hair (damaged healthy, butt length, flourishing, whatever) any day.
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ITA I too would take natural hair then damaged relxaed hair, it just doesn't look too good
 
march87 said:
I know that all relaxed heads are not damaged to the extent where it really shows. I'm talking about those relaxed heads that refuse to listen to any helpful healthy hair tips. Their hair is tore up. Examples: Edges are non-existant, tweety bird ponytail, dry hair all the time, long stringy hair, etc.
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lol at the tweety bird ponytail:lachen:
 
okay the question you ask is pretty obvious. most people on this hair board would choose healthy natural hair over damaged relaxed hair... who wants damaged hair. but the reality is before a a person with damaged relaxed hair will jsut jump and go natural.... they would basically cut off my bad relaxed ends and start takign better care of it first. Now if that still didnt work then maybe they go natural. i guess your getting the responses you are getting because you say damaged relaxed hair as a option as if theres no way to fix that damage when there is... i maybe wrong but thats my opinion.. much love...
 
JustKiya said:
I think it's a common piece of understanding that most black women would rather have STRAIGHT hair - no matter what it's state of health, than nappy hair, no matter it's state of health.

I mean - really, isn't that the root of all the good hair/bad hair thought patterns? Better hair is straighter hair, not necessarily healthier hair.

*shrug*

I don't think LHCF is the right place to ask this question - anonymity of the internet aside, not many people will be willing to own up to that much adherence to the good hair/bad hair beliefs.

IRL however, I suspect the deck would be stacked on the side of straight hair. Heck, when it comes down to it, it's not even a suspicion - having seen the heads I've seen, and the chemical damage on those heads.... yeah.

Straight hair wins.
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You're right about that one. And I also agree with the rest of your post.
 
JustKiya said:
I think it's a common piece of understanding that most black women would rather have STRAIGHT hair - no matter what it's state of health, than nappy hair, no matter it's state of health.

I mean - really, isn't that the root of all the good hair/bad hair thought patterns? Better hair is straighter hair, not necessarily healthier hair.

*shrug*

I don't think LHCF is the right place to ask this question - anonymity of the internet aside, not many people will be willing to own up to that much adherence to the good hair/bad hair beliefs.

IRL however, I suspect the deck would be stacked on the side of straight hair. Heck, when it comes down to it, it's not even a suspicion - having seen the heads I've seen, and the chemical damage on those heads.... yeah.

Straight hair wins.
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this may be true to some extent but i say why not ask the question. Thats what the hair board is for. I agree some may lie but some wont becasue everyone doesnt have those beliefs believe it or not. how can we every learn and grow without questions like this.. we just need to put everything out in the open in a mature manner of course. and wherever you go on the web this question will be biased anyway.. go to a natural website you already know wat the answer gonna be... go to a relaxed one you know the deal..
 
Inches411 said:
okay the question you ask is pretty obvious. most people on this hair board would choose healthy natural hair over damaged relaxed hair... who wants damaged hair. but the reality is before a a person with damaged relaxed hair will jsut jump and go natural.... they would basically cut off my bad relaxed ends and start takign better care of it first. Now if that still didnt work then maybe they go natural. i guess your getting the responses you are getting because you say damaged relaxed hair as a option as if theres no way to fix that damage when there is... i maybe wrong but thats my opinion.. much love...
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I appreciate your opinion. It's not a option because they refuse to accept any common sense haircare practices. Some people are stubborn like that. For instance, the girl that I talked to said she likes going to male hairdressers because she thinks they grow her hair. She cut me off when I was trying to refute that claim.
 
march87 said:
I appreciate your opinion. It's not a option because they refuse to accept any common sense haircare practices. Some people are stubborn like that. For instance, the girl that I talked to said she likes going to male hairdressers because she thinks they grow her hair. She cut me off when I was trying to refute that claim.
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oh ok... i just learned from being on this site when you make statements you have to be very clear and specific beyond belief.. cause people will find a way to attack you every time... and make you feel bad about asking you question.. so i was just saying maybe thats why ... ya know.. but i guess yes ur right some people wont learn and it is sad.
 
I would take exactly what I have: Natural 4B. You couldnt pay me any amount of money to go back to damaged relaxed hair. I left that in 2005. I can guarantee that my natural 4B rivals alot of relaxed heads out there.
 
Give me natural hair, healthy or damaged anyday over damaged relaxed hair. I've had damaged natural hair and only the people that knew it was damaged were the ones that knew I didn't relax. I ran into an old classmate this week and she said "you grew out your relaxer!" :grin:
 
march87 said:
I know that all relaxed heads are not damaged to the extent where it really shows. I'm talking about those relaxed heads that refuse to listen to any helpful healthy hair tips. Their hair is tore up. Examples: Edges are non-existant, tweety bird ponytail, dry hair all the time, long stringy hair, etc.
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I don't think that this is a matter or relaxed versus natural, her hair is messed up because she doesn't know how to take care of it properly period. Proper techniques aren't going to magically seep into her brain just because she changed her hair texture. Honestly transitioning in itself can be a complicated process, and if this person hasn't taken out the time all these years to figure out why her hair is so damaged relaxed do you really think she would take time out to educate herself about natural hair. Please! I am just really annoyed with this theory that natural hair is a quick fix to solve all hair problems. Basically women need to educate themselves period about haircare and then make the appropriate decision that works best for them not for everyone else. I am starting to get a vibe of one hair type being better then another and that is just not right this is a matter of personal choice. If you want your hair to be natural that's fine, relaxed or texlaxed then do you. We shouldn't be looking down on or ridiculing people for their personal preference but instead working to help each other achieve healthy hair.
 
march87 said:
I have seen some relaxed heads irl that looked damaged beyond repair. (thin edges due to relaxers, straggly ends, etc) They relax at every chance they get. They absolutely refuse to follow healthy hair techniques.


I asked one girl why don't you lay off the chemicals for awhile and go natural. Her response," I don't have that type of hair. I have nappy hair". "It won't look good".I was like :eh:. You would rather look like a chicken attacked your head rather than have thick healthy natural hair just because you don't like the natural hair that grows out of your head. I think that your approach to this young lady's hair could have been handled a lot more tactfully and delicately. Most people respond more favorably from an empathetic approach.


So my question is, would you rather have damaged relaxed hair or healthy natural 4b hair? It's sad to say but some women would actually say they would keep the damaged relaxed hair just because of their natural hair type.

Disclaimer: I know every natural head is not healthy.
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I think that this is an extremely biased question in my honest opinion. Now if you had asked a 3rd question like "Would you rather have healthy, well-maintained relaxed hair", then you would get a lot better responses from relaxed heads like myself.

What I would like to know is why do most, not all, but most naturals get all "bent out of shape" with the ladies who chose to relax, texlax, and texturize their hair? Don't you understand by now that one size doesn't necessarily fit all. One method does not work for all considered. I can guarantee you that I, along with countless others who relax their hair, do not look like chickens. (It almost sounded like an assumption you were making here about ladies who relax their hair by the way the question was posed). Granted there are many who do not know how to care for their hair, whether relaxed or natural.

I chose not to use hot tools as a means to straighten my hair and even if I was natural, this is something I would be doing.....everyday! That my dear, is just too much work for me. I relax my hair for easy manageability. I stretched my relaxer for almost 5 and a half months to see what my natural hair would look like, and to be honest, it looks pretty darn good. But that was not enough for me to keep it that way.

Just as proof to what I am admitting here about my hair, here are a couple of pics - the first one is a pic of what my natural looks like at 5 and a half months relaxer stretch and the others are my previously and recently relaxed hair:


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Now if anyone with 4a/b hair can wear their hair natural, for sure it would be me and I'm sure many others as well. We just chose not to. And as you can see, since coming to this board, my hair is obviously healthier looking and thicker and I thank each and everyone of you for all your imput and support. Now we are all here for the purpose of obtaining and maintaining healthy natural or relaxed hair, let us please stop bashing each other for making individual choices.
 

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healthy relaxed hair or healthy natural hair. It does not matter to me as long as long as the word healthy is attached to it.
 
Aggie said:
I think that this is an extremely biased question in my honest opinion. Now if you had asked a 3rd question like "Would you rather have healthy, well-maintained relaxed hair", then you would get a lot better responses from relaxed heads like myself.

What I would like to know is why does most naturals get all "bent out of shape" with the ladies who chose to relax, texlax, and texturize their hair? Don't you understand by now that one size doesn't necessarily fit all. One method does not work for all considered. I can guarantee you that I, along with countless others who relax their hair, do not look like chickens. (It almost sounded like an assumption you were making here about ladies who relax their hair by the way the question was posed). Granted there are many who do not know how to care for their hair, whether relaxed or natural.

I chose not to use hot tools as a means to straighten my hair and even if I was natural, this is something I would be doing.....everyday! That my dear, is just too much work for me. I relax my hair for easy manageability. I stretched my relaxer for almost 5 and a half months to see what my natural hair would look like, and to be honest, it looks pretty darn good. But that was not enough for me to keep it that way.

quote]

I still don't understand why some think that going natural will cure everything. Not all natural heads are healthy and look great just because they are natural.

Its like you gave her one choice to have healthy hair. GO NATURAL. That is the only way to have healthy hair?

That's like telling a crack addict to just get off cold turkey. She has no rehabilitation program whatsoever. Just go Natural and all your hair issues will be solved.

She can go natural and her hair is still gonna look like hell with bad edges and nape, no retention, no moisture or protein, etc.

It's like no one around here has seen a head of damaged natural hair before...
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HEALTHY NATURAL 4B HAIR! :yep:
If I really wanted the straight look, I'd just reach for the flat iron.
Right now, I'd rather have healthy natural hair over any kind of relaxed hair...period, hence the transition that I'm going through right now :look:.
 
MizzBrown said:
Aggie said:
I think that this is an extremely biased question in my honest opinion. Now if you had asked a 3rd question like "Would you rather have healthy, well-maintained relaxed hair", then you would get a lot better responses from relaxed heads like myself.

What I would like to know is why does most naturals get all "bent out of shape" with the ladies who chose to relax, texlax, and texturize their hair? Don't you understand by now that one size doesn't necessarily fit all. One method does not work for all considered. I can guarantee you that I, along with countless others who relax their hair, do not look like chickens. (It almost sounded like an assumption you were making here about ladies who relax their hair by the way the question was posed). Granted there are many who do not know how to care for their hair, whether relaxed or natural.

I chose not to use hot tools as a means to straighten my hair and even if I was natural, this is something I would be doing.....everyday! That my dear, is just too much work for me. I relax my hair for easy manageability. I stretched my relaxer for almost 5 and a half months to see what my natural hair would look like, and to be honest, it looks pretty darn good. But that was not enough for me to keep it that way.

quote]

I still don't understand why some think that going natural will cure everything. Not all natural heads are healthy and look great just because they are natural.

Its like you gave her one choice to have healthy hair. GO NATURAL. That is the only way to have healthy hair?

That's like telling a crack addict to just get off cold turkey. She has no rehabilitation program whatsoever. Just go Natural and all your hair issues will be solved.

She can go natural and her hair is still gonna look like hell with bad edges and nape, no retention, no moisture or protein, etc.

It's like no one around here has seen a head of damaged natural hair before...
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YaY! someone understands me!!!!!!!
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march87 said:
Even though a person doesn't have a knowledge to care for their natural hair, it is still better because you don't already have the chemical damage that a relaxer will do to your hair.
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I don't agree with this statement as damaged hair is damaged hair, whether natural or relaxed. Neither looks good.
 
sunnydaze said:
You know..I hadn't looked at it like that...but now I do..and I agree. Would this same question have been posed if 3b was inserted instead of 4b or is that just so understood that everyone would want that?:perplexed
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Girl, errbody would be in here voting for those "pretty silky curls."
 
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