Does Your Man Have a Bank Account Or Contribute To A 401K Plan?

[SHEANITPRO]

I only ask, because I was on IM at work with my work crush a few days ago, and we were talking about the Tiger Woods situation.

My crush is a few years younger than me, but not a whole lot...He is over 30.

Anyhow, I asked him if he contributed to our company 401K plan and he said he does not contribute. He did not offer any alternate explanation, but ya'll it was like the thought just has never crossed his mind to contribute for his retirement.

I went on to tell him that it was like getting "free money" when you invest, because our company matches the contributions.

Low and behold...today, which is "payday", the elderly gentleman from the mail room "hand delivered" his paycheck! My crush was not at his desk, but I witnessed the delivery.

Dude has been working with our company for over 1 1/2 years, and I could only deduce that he doesn't have a bank account, because the majority of our staff have their earnings "direct deposited" and if they don't use a conventional bank they use our company credit union for all the benefits of membership.

On the real....he is fine in that manly athletic way that I like and I still dig him ! I just know I could help shape him up if I were his woman (sic)

In fact, I know now more than ever...he needs me!

How do you feel about a man who works everyday but is not putting anything away for retirement?

Or a working man who does not have a bank account, and uses check cashing places, etc.?

I know he can't be the only one!

Does Your Man Have a Bank Account Or Contribute To A 401K Plan?

One last thing! Using the "Rules" is soooo beneficial. If you wait long enough, "who a man is" will play out right before your eyes! I assumed he was a little on the lazy side, but now I am beginning to feel that he knows he is not fully qualified to step to me because of it.

 

[MizzBrown]

Sorry, I judge a man, or any person for that matter who still goes out to cash their check, not contribute to their 401K or IRA. At least SOMETHING.

He's not financially sound at all. How is he supposed to take care of you and your family if he's not?

 

[SHEANITPRO]

Sorry, I judge a man, or any person for that matter who still goes out to cash their check, not contribute to their 401K or IRA. At least SOMETHING.

He's not financially sound at all. How is he supposed to take care of you and your family if he's not?

Girl ain't that the truth!

I am a divorcee of 6 years, and my ex-husband was paid! He continues to take excellent care of our daughter and should I need anything he is there.

I own my on home, and love being independent in taking care of my household.

I would never put myself in the position of carrying this crush or any other stud, and was surprised to see that he is not sound financially.

That translates to deficits on many other levels as well to me! I don't feel a man has to be rich, but I sure don't look favorably at those who don't know how to make the most of what they have.

I am still marveling at how the "blinders" are coming off, but then again, I don't really know him. Prudence is a wonderful thing!

 

[pookaloo83]

I just know I could help shape him up if I were his woman (sic)

In fact, I know now more than ever...he needs me!

Yes. DH has a 401K account.

 

[VelvetRain]

I just can't understand people who don't see the need for either a 401k or a roth ira. At some point your going to need that money as you progress to the later stages of your life. Why have put yourself through a struggle at that point in your life? Hmm not me. Been contributing for as long as I have been working.

I wonder if this man is financially responsible in other ways? My ex made well over 6 figures and he still saw the need to contribute to his plan. He needs to get with the program real quick.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

But keep in my mind not everyone knows what a 401k is and how it is utilized...some people have to be taught. For example, my job does matching as well first 3% = 100% match and the next 3% = 50% match and you can grow that money depending on what you decide to allow your investments to grow in...which for me right now is 100% company stock...which I decide to do because my company's stock had split and has nowhere to go but up and let my financial advisor tell it I need to be putting some in International and some in Bonds...meanwhile only maxing out what the plan matches and the remainder of money I would like to invest goes into a RothIRA and the company keeps up with my pension...while I just roll my eyes and tell him to collect his check and kick rocks...

So...if I said said above conversation to someone who really just doesn't have the knowledge it means nothing to them. So you have to show and give examples like I do to folks at my job...So I'll tell them its like if I invest $40.00 the company is gonna give me $30.00 free and if this job isn't for me down the line then its mine to keep or should I ever need a down payment for a house I can borrow against and so on...Some folks genuinely doesn't know.

It doesn't mean that he doesn't have anything to offer there is just an opportunity for him to grow...also its an opportunity to teach someone and also for you to come across sexy smart, get a chance to flirt and find out his real financial situation...Tell him if he doesn't mind to allow you the opportunity to show him how a 401k works so that he can maximize the potential for his money. Just because he receives a check doesn't mean that he doesn't have a bank account because I still know plenty of BP that likes to receive their check in their hand at my job one of them is my BFF and she has 3 BANK accounts with a huge 401k (that I taught her how to invest in).

 

[Foxglove]

How do you not have at least a bank account in this day and age?

 

[NOEChic]

my hunny has abank acct but he does not contribute to tsp which we will rectify when he gets back from his deployment

 

[SUPER SWEET]

How do you not have at least a bank account in this day and age?

Ummm. I had a female friend that messed up so MANY bank accounts by over drafting. She COULD NOT open up a bank account for about 6 years. She had to use a check cashing place to get money or go to the bank the check was drawn.
Trust me, I've seen men and women not save a dime for retirement or in general. And retirement and unemployment bit them all in the butt! Some professional people have no clue on finances or how to manage money. It's the pay check to pay check thought process....oh I'll get money again in two weeks.erplexed

My DH was the only man I've ever dated that had stocks,bonds and several retirement savings accts. He vowed not be in the same boat as some of his family members.

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

I worked at a company once where we were told during orientation that they automatically took 4% of your check to invest in the 401k plan (as a company match)...I cannot tell you how many people were upset about this when they heard this news...they didn't want anyone telling them what to do with their money. All i could so was shake my headerplexed

 

[Chrissy811]

I worked at a company once where we were told during orientation that they automatically took 4% of your check to invest in the 401k plan (as a company match)...I cannot tell you how many people were upset about this when they heard this news...they didn't want anyone telling them what to do with their money. All i could so was shake my headerplexed

LOL My company starts out with 6% then it increases 2% every two years until it is at a certain percentage. But yep a lot of people were salty during orientation. Talking about they can't force you to contribute...and need I say these weren't 20 somethings talking either.

 

[KiSseS03]

I don't understand erplexed. This man is OVER 30 with no bank account?!

What in sam hill does he do with his money, put it in an envelope under his mattress?!

That, and the lack of retirement savings would be big ole red flags for me, I strongly believe in being a good steward; it's an important quality for myself and any potential romantic interest.

 

[Foxglove]

I don't understand erplexed. This man is OVER 30 with no bank account?!

What in sam hill does he do with his money, put it in an envelope under his mattress?!

That, and the lack of retirement savings would be big ole red flags for me, I strongly believe in being a good steward; it's an important quality for myself and any potential romantic interest.

That's what I'm saying!

 

[ladysaraii]

I'm single, but sorry nope, SO needs both a bank acct and retirement savings.

If he doesn't know, I have no problem enlightening him, but if some moves aren't made quickly, it's a no go. And I would really hesitate to marry someone who couldn't open an account.

I'm working hard to try and secure my financial future, I need a partner who is of the same mindset.

 

[kismettt]

i think that is just a lack of education.

my bf has a 401K but i dont. he tells me all the time there is not a lot in there, haha.

i feel like the majority of the women on here will say their SO has a 401K because there is a certain type of woman on here.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

i think that is just a lack of education.

my bf has a 401K but i dont. he tells me all the time there is not a lot in there, haha.

i feel like the majority of the women on here will say their SO has a 401K because there is a certain type of woman on here.

Explain that part if you don't mind

 

[SparkleDoll]

Many people I know personally like to receive a paper check and deposit it themselves. Most are up in the age and set in their ways. I have a good friend that said she will never use direct deposit and she has a checking and savings account. So that young man might have a bank account.

 

[kismettt]

Explain that part if you don't mind

idk i feel like there are a lot of questions posed on here looking for agreement & i feel, in general, the women on here are very similar in thought/values.

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

idk i feel like there are a lot of questions posed on here looking for agreement & i feel, in general, the women on here are very similar in thought/values.

Interesting you feel that way because I feel the exact opposite. I often see responses that range from far left to far right in most of the threads...usually in the ET or Relationship Sections

 

[kismettt]

Interesting you feel that way because I feel the exact opposite. I often see responses that range from far left to far right in most of the threads...usually in the ET or Relationship tSections

i feel like major topics that come up there seems to be pretty centered opinions on them:
dating
homosexuality
"baby momma"

etcetcetc

and maybe similar thought/values may be too much generalizing but i can basically predict the responses to most threads & be right. maybe predictable is a better word? i dont see anything wrong with that.


sorry to hijack your thread OP

 

[biancaelyse]

I think that finances are really important and 401k/bank accounts to be pretty basic. How a man hadles his money was always high on my list of must haves since I wanted to be with someone like minded.

We've both had retirement and savings accounts since graduating from college. I really coudn't see myself with someone that didn't have his money together when I was dating and it surely wouldn't happen now.

I guess I fall into whatever category of woman that has that as a standard and expectation.

 

[Xavier]

There are so many other options besides a 401k and IRA that would allow a person to save for retirement. As long as a man sees the importance of saving for retirement and is consistently doing so in some capacity I would be happy.

 

[MissYocairis]

How do you not have at least a bank account in this day and age?

THANK YOU. I really do not understand this one. I had a bank account at 8 and my son and daughter got theirs early too. How does a grown, working person NOT have a bank account? I never understood why check cashing places could be so lucrative when all one has to do is go sign up at a bank and deposit their checks there free. Why would you pay someone else to cash your check? How is there a check cashing place on every block in poor neighborhoods? Are banks requiring something I don't know about? Please, someone, help me understand!

OP, that would be a turnoff for me. The whole thing. You have gotten me to thinking though...are you willing to "clean up" or "help" a man be a better man before being his wife? Because you mentioned you can see that he needs you now more than ever. I have a close friend who loves fixer uppers...she thrives on it. They never work out. But, I'm sure there are success stories out there.

 

[SHEANITPRO]

THANK YOU. I really do not understand this one. I had a bank account at 8 and my son and daughter got theirs early too. How does a grown, working person NOT have a bank account? I never understood why check cashing places could be so lucrative when all one has to do is go sign up at a bank and deposit their checks there free. Why would you pay someone else to cash your check? How is there a check cashing place on every block in poor neighborhoods? Are banks requiring something I don't know about? Please, someone, help me understand!

OP, that would be a turnoff for me. The whole thing. You have gotten me to thinking though...are you willing to "clean up" or "help" a man be a better man before being his wife? Because you mentioned you can see that he needs you now more than ever. I have a close friend who loves fixer uppers...she thrives on it. They never work out. But, I'm sure there are success stories out there.

I only made that statment in jest!

The only person in my life that I'm willing to "clean up" behind or "help" is my 14 year old dd, and even that has its limits.

 

[SHEANITPRO]

Thank you ladies for the great replies.

 

[Rastafarai]

OP, that would be a turnoff for me. The whole thing. You have gotten me to thinking though...are you willing to "clean up" or "help" a man be a better man before being his wife? Because you mentioned you can see that he needs you now more than ever. I have a close friend who loves fixer uppers...she thrives on it. They never work out. But, I'm sure there are success stories out there.

I think black people, in general, lack the proper knowledge when it comes to personal finance and investment options. The amount of black folk (both young and old) completely oblivious to proper ways of saving and investing their money is a complete shame. Generally speaking, we (as black folk) only see what's in front of us, living paycheck to paycheck seldom if ever thinking long-term. And if we do decide to think longterm, we choose the safest options out there with the lowest returns: CDs and MMF. We feed off whatever these greedy banks say are the best options for us remaining oblivious to the annual fees and inflation rates that will eat away any and all gains made if we rely on banking institutions for our information.

We need to inform ourselves and not hesitate to share that information to others. And that's what I'm trying to do with my own family, friends and loved ones.

Fortunately, the person I'm currently interested in has a 401k and bank account set up and I'm happy to see he's thinking about his retirement at such a young age (mid 20s). I am also a young investor still learning the ropes and I'm more than happy to impart what little I do know. The next step is to encourage him to open up a target date fund and invest in stocks. Also want to encourage him to set up direct deposit because he still prefers to deposit his check in person.

So far he seems most enthusiastic about reading and informing himself and its great to know we can discuss these things freely and actually work with a plan.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

I think black people, in general, lack the proper knowledge when it comes to personal finance and investment options. The amount of black folk (both young and old) completely oblivious to proper ways of saving and investing their money is a complete shame. Generally speaking, we (as black folk) only see what's in front of us, living paycheck to paycheck seldom if ever thinking long-term. And if we do decide to think longterm, we choose the safest options out there with the lowest returns: CDs and MMF. We feed off whatever these greedy banks say are the best options for us remaining oblivious to the annual fees and inflation rates that will eat away any and all gains made if we rely on banking institutions for our information.

We need to inform ourselves and not hesitate to share that information to others. And that's what I'm trying to do with my own family, friends and loved ones.

Fortunately, the person I'm currently interested in has a 401k and bank account set up and I'm happy to see he's thinking about his retirement at such a young age (mid 20s). I am also a young investor still learning the ropes and I'm more than happy to impart what little I do know. The next step is to encourage him to open up a target date fund and invest in stocks. Also want to encourage him to set up direct deposit because he still prefers to deposit his check in person.

So far he seems most enthusiastic about reading and informing himself and its great to know we can discuss these things freely and actually work with a plan.

I mean those lines right there need a standing "O" cause I think that just went over alot of folks head right there...Wait let me enlarge it and reprint that...

We need to inform ourselves and not hesitate to share that information to others. And that's what I'm trying to do with my own family, friends and loved ones.

If we had more banking classes, financial classes and stock exchange/business and just so many more...classes as requirements before you graduate high school this wouldn't be a common topic amongst BP and a view of I'm better than this person...because I got stocks...

I blame the lack of financial education/knowledge on society as a whole and we have gots to do mo' betta...

Someone who is working at a decent job doesn't have a bank account/401k gives me the idea that they have no credit and doesn't know where to start (not gonna be a 100% scenario but I will say 85% of the time) which is better than my book than someone in debt...I will take someone who has lack of financial sense and everything else going for them vs. someone that doesn't have a job, 2 kids, BM, living with his momma and always trying to be hustling? We have gots to do mo' betta....

 

[Determined22]

Its very possible that growing up his parents/family never had a bank account, and therefore he doesnt know anything about banking, retirement saving, finances, etc.

My sorority does a program where we teach kids about banking, finance, etc and often the parents that bring their kids to these events are learning about it for the first time right along with their kids. I think a lot of us take bank accounts & stuff for granted because we've always had them, but for a lot of folks its a foreign concept.

 

[UmSumayyah]

There are so many other options besides a 401k and IRA that would allow a person to save for retirement. As long as a man sees the importance of saving for retirement and is consistently doing so in some capacity I would be happy.

What do you need when you retire? Money for shelter, food, clothing, healthcare, and hopefully some for entertainment. If your house is paid off and you have a serious garden going in the backyard, that's a major dent right there.
A 401K can be a great tool, but I wouldn't rule someone out for not having one. Are they making double payments on their house? Do they buy a non-flashy car, pay it off early and then drive it for 12 years? Do they invest in other things like precious metals, or stocks they study and pick on their on or with the hlep of an adviser? Do they make saving for a rainy day a priority? People at and near retirement age who relied too heavily on a 401K aren't doing so great right about now.

I don't know why one wouldn't have a bank account, though.

 

[biancaelyse]

What do you need when you retire? Money for shelter, food, clothing, healthcare, and hopefully some for entertainment. If your house is paid off and you have a serious garden going in the backyard, that's a major dent right there.
A 401K can be a great tool, but I wouldn't rule someone out for not having one. Are they making double payments on their house? Do they buy a non-flashy car, pay it off early and then drive it for 12 years? Do they invest in other things like precious metals, or stocks they study and pick on their on or with the hlep of an adviser? Do they make saving for a rainy day a priority? People at and near retirement age who relied too heavily on a 401K aren't doing so great right about now.

I don't know why one wouldn't have a bank account, though.

I agree that there are different ways to save but I can't get around not having a bank account. This is something that is pretty much a requirement nowadays. Many employers now require direct deposit and many services have gone electronic/paperless. How do you buy a car or a house with no bank account? I don't know how an independent adult can function in modern times without one.

I am all for sharing knowledge and teaching younger ones how to be wise with their money..........

but at my age, someone that doesn't have those fundamentals in place gets the serious side eye. Even if your parents didn't teach you about finances as a kid, how do you live as an adult going through your 20s and 30s and still not learn something?? I've never believed in treating men like projects or fixer uppers and that feeling has only intensified as I've gotten older.

I am 1/2 way to retirement and saving aggressively to send my kids to college so some dude that has no banking, no savings, no investments/retirement would not be the one for me. I wish him well and may he find the woman who is better suited to his situation.

I don't plan on working forever and would want a guy who has some idea how much he'll need to live in his later years and is saving up enough to get there.