Does Anyone Enjoy Being Single But Hate Dealing With People Trying To Make You Feel Bad

[Harina]

about being single?

Either trying to make it seem like you want their man or if it's the man himself that you want him or that there's something wrong with you or trying to project to you that you are lonely or in need of a man. It's a lot of passive aggressive, micro aggressive behavior in being single. I find being single stress free but find dealing with either gender as someone who is single to be somewhat stressful.

 

[Dee Raven]

I feel like this a lot. It's almost to the point where I don't want to even go to other people's life celebrations (weddings, baby shower, etc.) Yesterday I had a baby shower and wedding I attended and of course I had a good time with my friends BUT it was super awkward as well. My friend was like maybe you'll meet someone at the other event. Even just hanging out with married friends is hard because at some point the conversation always has to center on my lack of love life, what I'm doing or not doing about it. Is it really that serious that I need a pep talk at every encounter?

You'd think it was a disease to be single. Geesh.

 

[giigii613]

I feel like this a lot. It's almost to the point where I don't want to even go to other people's life celebrations (weddings, baby shower, etc.) Yesterday I had a baby shower and wedding I attended and of course I had a good time with my friends BUT it was super awkward as well. My friend was like maybe you'll meet someone at the other event. Even just hanging out with married friends is hard because at some point the conversation always has to center on my lack of love life, what I'm doing or not doing about it. Is it really that serious that I need a pep talk at every encounter?

You'd think it was a disease to be single. Geesh.

It is a disease they call it...FUN. I was just talking about this with my mom the other day because my friend who is married is trying to hook me up with someone and I'm like chill I have a lot going on right now let me get my situation in order. She is like well he is a good man and you might do yourself a disservice waiting around because he might be gone. When I told my mother this she laughed and said misery loves company. (I swear I love that woman) She supports me totally. My mother, father and aunt tell me all the time enjoy being single because relationships are hard work and you need to make sure your mind is clear and ready to properly vet your partner so when ya'll begin the relationship journey you are both prepared to do the work. Presently, I am in no rush to settle down I'm just happy living life.

I think those pressures are placed on single people because single people don't broadcast their enjoyment of singlehood like people in relationships broadcast their couplehood.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

@giigii613, thanks for sharing that was refreshing... Everyone in my life, are like what are you waiting on, albeit up there in age (35)... all I think is yall ****'s on assistance, and Baby fathers not in life... like why isnt the question when are you not getting married, are you in a relationship, nope just you need a baby, and stop traveling the world... Fam Bye

 

[Fine 4s]

Funny because I'm always envious of single women. It.is.stress.free.

 

[Ayesha81]

This is post is right on time. A coworker of mine have been nudging at me about my relationship status. Im not sure why she is so set on knowing if I I have a husband, boyfriend, dating. But I can tell she assumes Im single.

 

[LostInAdream]

Funny because I'm always envious of single women. It.is.stress.free.

Hello!!

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I've gotten this a little. I want a relationship but I'm willing to wait for the right one and not settle for anyone just to have one. My mom always tells me marriage/relationships are work so I'm living my life, getting myself together until that day comes. A couple women have been nosy about why I'm not in a relationship and am not in a hurry to get in one either. I'm like why do you care? I'm not complaining about being single, in fact I'm not even talking about my relationship status with you. Some men have asked me why but it's always because they're interested and are trying to figure out if there's some strange reason why I'm not taken.

 

[TinyBlu]

I've just learned not to fault those that don't know any better.

Despite it being 2017, in many ways, we are still conditioned to more "traditional" viewpoints when it comes to coupling up. Being single is still viewed as being a plague and single women are placed in a category quickly if left in "ME" status too long:

From men... "You're HOW old, single with no kids... WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

From women... "Tick, tock... tick, tock...." "Who's going to take care of you when you get old?' "Don't end up being the cat lady..."

From OLDER women (Love my nana) "Are you heterosexual?"

The list goes on. I just don't allow people to attempt to make me feel bad about my single status. Actually, no one can MAKE you feel anything. I just allow myself to "be". Single and happy, and at peace with the here and now.

If I should leave this world without a SO and children (I actually don't want kids), I wouldn't think my life was any less fulfilled. I won't let other people's view of happiness become mine. Being Single is AWESOME, and as others have said... quite stress free....

 

[caribeandiva]

I could've written this whole thread myself. I don't let it get to me anymore. Like someone posted upthread: misery loves company. Most of the people who are always trying to set me up with "someone who is just PERFECT for you" are not in relationships I'd want to be in. So If i take their advice I'll have their results. No thanks! The people i know who have the relationships I want rarely pressure me or try to make me feel bad about my singleness. They're usually telling me to live it up and not to worry about finding a man. The right one will find me when it's time. Besides I refuse to let fear drive me into a relationship that is unhealthy. Again no thanks

 

[lana]

I was just going to say that when people are in a happy relationship, they don't pressure you. When they're unhappy and slightly jealous they'll be all up in your business. Just be firm. Be confident in your contentment.

I'm married by the way and never pressure single friends to date. That is not my business. At. All.

 

[MD_Lady]

about being single?

Either trying to make it seem like you want their man or if it's the man himself that you want him or that there's something wrong with you or trying to project to you that you are lonely or in need of a man. It's a lot of passive aggressive, micro aggressive behavior in being single. I find being single stress free but find dealing with either gender as someone who is single to be somewhat stressful.

Some people REFUSE to believe that anyone could be happy without sharing their values and making their choices. I'm glad you aren't internalizing this and are seeing it for what it is- projection (and insecurity).

 

[itsallaboutattitude]

I am single. However, I am not alone. My social life is social. I spend most of my weekend time with my older sister. We are going to be like these two old Asian ladies we see. Pushing our walkers through our neighborhood. As it is, people ask about the other when they don't see us together at Kroger, CVS, movie theater, nail shop, favorite restaurants.

So I have someone who I go out to dinner and movies. When I want a change of pace I spend time with other friends who are married or in relationships.

I am also happy to just be alone. I'll get up and do my errands, movies or dinner by myself too.

I notice that I am not a person who calls. I get called. I try to be conscious of this and reach out to those who it seems to me always call me first.


I used to be in pursuit of a relationship. After my last one in my mid-30's, I just became mostly un-bothered. One friend used to bring it up. But she's now backed off. I told her I can do bad all by myself. I don't need to take on someone else's debt, mental problems, and the list can go on.

 

[mochalocks]

Yes. I hate it.
I have a cousin who is all "woe is me" because she's single, and I'm pretty content with myself right now. I'm not saying I don't want a man, but if I'm going to to do bad then I rather do bad by myself.