Do you still get tested for HIV and other STDs after being married?

[michelle81]

^^This was taken from the CDC site here Honestly I assumed this based on what I have "heard" but since you asked I went to check.

As far as marrying men from other races, I would still take the same precautions.

And I can understand your pointe about with the analogy about cholesterol. But HIV is treatable as well, if found early.

I still don't think black men are at higher risk, I think it just means that black men engage in riskier activities that in turn lead them to have higher infected rates than other races.

To the women that get tested yearly, how long do you plan to continue it. Age 60? 80?

For me it wouldn't cost any extra and I get blood drawn routinely anyway, so no extra pain. It's just something I've never given a thought to since being married. Maybe I should?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Eye opening indeed!

Yes for sure.

I can appreciate though the notion that once you are married you can be free and breathe. But this day and age it seems you still have to stay on top of everything.

 

[frostydoll]

I'm a newlywed and I honestly didn't consider no longer getting tested, because I'm married now. It just has become a part of my normal routine and I wonder if my husband expects me to no longer get tested.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Not to make this go off track but is there anyone here who does/no longer continues to test and your partner is the opposite? How does that play out?

 

[hopeful]

I (wrongly apparently) assumed that married people would just continue getting tested as they did before marriage. Eye opening thread.

When I met my husband in college HIV AIDS was just starting to be discussed widely and at the time it was still seen as a primarily "gay" disease. In the early 80's when I began dating my husband using condoms and bc pills were pushed primarily to prevent pregnancy and to avoid other venereal diseases. Also I was a virgin so there was no reason to be tested "before" him. Everyone isn't sexually active before settling down. I know you know this but just stating as so many "assume" it's normal to be sexually active with various partners. If I had met my husband 10 years later, in the 90's, I would have been apart of a different culture where testing was normal, pushed, and openly discussed.

 

[michelle81]

Not to make this go off track but is there anyone here who does/no longer continues to test and your partner is the opposite? How does that play out?

Honestly, I could get tested and my DH would never know. I think I may ask him though, just to see where he stands on the issue.

 

[hopeful]

This though is why I love LHCF, always something to learn. Older teach younger, younger teach older, married teach singles, singles teach married, etc.

 

[alexstin]

I never have and we've been married for 16 years. The only times I've been tested were during pregnancy bloodwork. Oh, once my former GYN had me tested for gonorrhea without informing me and then came back and told me I tested positive for it even though that was not true.

I've read many threads on here, over the years, regarding this topic and I see both points of view.

 

[pookaloo83]

I never have and we've been married for 16 years. The only times I've been tested were during pregnancy bloodwork. Oh, once my former GYN had me tested for chlamydia without informing me and then came back and told me I tested positive for it even though that was not true.

I've read many threads on here, over the years, regarding this topic and I see both points of view.

alexstin how do you know it was not true? Were you retested?

 

[cheryl26]

I've been married 9 1/2 years and have never been tested, neither has a doc asked me about it. I probably won't start unless dh gives me any uneasy feeling.

 

[QueenAmaka]

I've been married for 6 years and have no plans of adding an HIV/STD testing to my yearly physical. #justbeinghonest

 

[alexstin]

alexstin how do you know it was not true? Were you retested?

Yes, I went to my primary and had them retest me since the nurse at my GYN said I was just in denial. Later that year I got pregnant and of course they do all the std screening then.

It was crazy, my GYN said I had gonorrhea and the board of health called me since by law they had to be notified and they were like, " no you don't have gonnorhea, you have chlamydia" . I started a thread about it in OT.

 

[pookaloo83]

Yes, I went to my primary and had them retest me since the nurse at my GYN said I was just in denial. Later that year I got pregnant and of course they do all the std screening then.

It was crazy, my GYN said I had chlamydia and the board of health called me since by law they had to be notified and they were like, " no you don't have chlamydia, you have gonnorhea" . I started a thread about it in OT.

Wow..!

 

[alexstin]

Wow..!

Girrlllll, that was a mess!

Oops, just went back and looked at that old thread. According to the doctor, I "had" gonnorhea and it was the health board that said it was chlamydia.

Let me go edit my initial post.

 

[AlekHidell]

To the women that get tested yearly, how long do you plan to continue it. Age 60? 80?

Sexual Activity and STD rate up among seniors - CNN.

New research published Thursday by the British Medical Journal shows that 80% of 50 to 90 years olds are sexually active. And with that, cases of sexually transmitted diseases have more than doubled in this age group over the past 10 years. [snip]



Numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicate that incidences of syphilis and chlamydia in adults aged 45 to 64 have nearly tripled over the past decade. Cases of Gonorrhea are up as well.

[snip]


Researchers are quick to point out that there’s a huge lack of data on STDs in older populations. The authors of the BMJ editorial also note that older women are more vulnerable physiologically. “Post-menopausal changes to the vagina, such as thinning of the mucosa, narrowing and shortening of the vagina, and decreased lubrication leave women more vulnerable to minor genital injuries and microabrasions that facilitate the entry of pathogens,” they write.


With age, as parents teach their kids, comes responsibility. So why are parents exposing themselves to these avoidable risks?


“They just don’t think it can happen to them” says Kuriansky. “STIs (sexually transmitted infections) really started making news in the ’80s and ’90s. The fears and the warnings didn’t hit their generation.” They also didn’t expect to be sexual. “It’s the Jane Fondas of the world and men in their 80s like John Glenn, who divorced his wife and married a younger woman,” she says.

[snip]


Experts purport more awareness from the media would go a long way. Kuriansky also suggests more questioning and counseling by physicians. “If you’re really going to do something about it,” she says, “you have to be tested for herpes and other viruses. Now, you have to request that. They’re not in routine blood tests. [They] should make it routine.”

 

[Theo]

oh this is interesting. even if i didn't work in the medical field, i would keep getting tested. i'm gonna tell my sisters to do the same.

IMO its like seatbelts. i always wear one, and make sure that everyone in the car with me is wearing one too. just b/c you put one on doesn't mean you don't trust your driving skills or feel like you're about to have an accident. you just do it b/c you never know. Accidents can kill and so can many STDs. most ppl don't go into marriage anticipating that their spouse is gonna cheat on them. granted, get tested isn't a classic preventative measure, but one could make an argument on how it can be seen like that in some ways.

 

[Theo]

oh yup Ehren

old ppl like to get it in... STD transmission is surprisingly a major problem in nursing homes.

 

[rufus12]

Married 16 years and we both get tested every yea

 

[PeaceFlow]

You can never trust another human being with free will 100%.

You can take a bet though. That bet is with your own health in this case. For some people I'm guessing their health is more important than even a seemingly "safe" gamble.

I see both points of view really because I have had relationships with those types of men with spotless references, always home, or always reachable, strict routine etc.. Tempting to just go on trust. However I'm not sure it's all about trust for some people.

It sounds like its a decision to make sure you are informed about every aspect of your health through life. Whether dating, in a relationship, or married. Whether with someone rough round the edges, or a straight goody goody. Just being the one that holds the answers to sexual health and not having to rely on another human being to give you the low down on whats going on in your body. I get the idealistic, romantic type view and the other more realistic "life is unpredictable" view too.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Most STD's are asymptomatic...so yes I would continue.

 

[NaturalEnigma]

So for the women that are getting tested for HIV and sexually transmitted diseases, are your husbands getting tested as well? I'm just curious, because if HIV is not as easily transferable as the media likes us to believe, wouldn't it be better if the husband found out he had the disease before giving it to his wife. I would rather prevent myself from getting the disease then to go get a test done just to confirm I have the disease. For example 2 single people dating would both get tested before having sex, to make sure that they don't have any diseases that they could potentially transmit. Whats the point of having one person get tested and the other person not get tested? I think I would feel more comfortable knowing that he's getting the test as well, because if he were to find something he could alert me in time so that I don't have to get the disease.

 

[Charz]

I still plan on getting tested when I'z murrrrried. I don't see a reason to stop. I would encourage him to keep getting tested as well. Some STDs (including HIV/Aids) don't show up on screens until years later.

Exactly which is why even while married testing makes sense. Get married today, you dont know if something that happened 8 months ago shows up a month after marriage..why would anyone gamble like that to proive some point

 

[MsSanz92]

This hits home to me, because I have an aunt who died of AIDS that she contracted from her husband who was used Heroin. I would definitely continue to get tested for HIV/STIs while married and obviously when I have children maybe not every year but definitely every couple of years. I totally agree with meesch post on the first page HIV is not as prevalent or easy to contract as the stats say. Many are skewed because a lot of health statistics come from a limited amount of sources, mostly lower income public health clinics/Planned Parenthoods which disproportionally provide services for Blacks. That's why it seems like WAYY more Black people have HIV/Herpes/other STIS or get abortions than actually do.

 

[cluelezz]

I still do as part of my annual exam and they check you when you're pregnant. It's no biggie. Not that I don't trust my husband, its like another poster said, I like to be in the know and have every base covered, just like going to my regular doctor and having a blood screening. Chances of me having high cholesterol or diabetes in my early 20s, with an active lifestyle, and being underweight are pretty slim, but why not check and be sure?

I'm 23 with high cholesterol... and I was under weight until a few months ago, and not inactive nor do I eat terribly. Cholesterol can be hereditary. My mom and grandmother have high cholesterol, so my doctors aren't surprised by it. I actually only had my first bloodwork done when I was 20 because my doctor thought I had lupus. I had my first STD screening the year prior though. I didn't even realize blood screening was routine until the cholesterol thing happened.


Back on topic though, Idk what I might do in the future. I'm leaning toward not being screened. The hypothetical Mr. and I'd do it before ever going sans condom but Idk if I'd continue.

ETA: When I've had STD screenings in the past, I never got it done with my regular doctor, so maybe I'm just not associating it with my yearly well visits. I've always just gone to Planned Parenthood, or on campus when I was in school.

 

[MD_Lady]

So for the women that are getting tested for HIV and sexually transmitted diseases, are your husbands getting tested as well? I'm just curious, because if HIV is not as easily transferable as the media likes us to believe, wouldn't it be better if the husband found out he had the disease before giving it to his wife. I would rather prevent myself from getting the disease then to go get a test done just to confirm I have the disease. For example 2 single people dating would both get tested before having sex, to make sure that they don't have any diseases that they could potentially transmit. Whats the point of having one person get tested and the other person not get tested? I think I would feel more comfortable knowing that he's getting the test as well, because if he were to find something he could alert me in time so that I don't have to get the disease.

And are their husbands wearing condoms? Testing and prevention of transmission go hand in hand.

 

[itsallaboutattitude]

In my mind, sexually active = gets tested. So if i were to marry, I would get tested.

I asked my GYN last year to test me and I got all kinds of looks from the nurses. It was extremely uncomfortable. Black women staring at me like, huh she must got it.

I refuse to continue to spend my money on gas riding to a clinic then paying the clinic to get the tests I want.

I am gonna ask her to test me again this year.

As a matter of fact, I stopped having my GYN test me years ago, because she made it seem as if my insurance would drop me for just getting the test. And the whole process was handled like it was a secret mission. Coded the blood work (my name was not on it). It was all very weird. I recall her nurse whispering the results to me. We were in a room with the door closed! This was the late 90's. Like 1999.

 

[curlicarib]

I spent 8 yrs in the Navy and annual std (incl HIV) screenings are mandatory. This is a practice that I took into my civilian life. I am tested every year without fail. Has nothing to do with my SO. It has to do with me being a responsible adult. I don't fool around and my conscience is clear, but, I'm not with that man 24-7 and while I trust him, he is only human and either or both of us can make a mistake. Saying "i'm in a committed relationship and he would never stray" is living in a fantasy land. If you or your man never strays, good for you both. But I'd hate to find out on my death bed, that I could have avoided a premature death with one simple blood test.

 

[Carolina Girl]

Our yearly physical tests for everything (we have the same gen prac) and my OB screens for stds as a general part of my pap smears. I didn't realize you could opt out of STD screening. I did get another screening for HIV/AIDS since I'm pregnant, otherwise we have to pay our physician for crap any way, may as well include everything we can get