Do You Sleep Well With Your So/dh?

BillsBackerz67

BillsBackerz67

Well-Known Member
so my friend is having severe insomnia and she’s trying everything under the sun to help (melatonin, weighted blanket, etc) . Thanks to my investigation of probing questions she is now realizing that her husband might be the cause. Her doctor was recommending ambien for sleep but I told her to sleep in the other room before she resorts to habit forming drugs. Obviously most would have an issue with this because folks in relationships are supposed to sleep together right? So that’s her concern with sleeping in the other room is how he would feel about it:rolleyes:
IMO when it comes to a good nights rest you gotta do what you gotta do. I hate when I’m sleep deprived I look and feel like crap. What say you?
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
so my friend is having severe insomnia and she’s trying everything under the sun to help (melatonin, weighted blanket, etc) . Thanks to my investigation of probing questions she is now realizing that her husband might be the cause. Her doctor was recommending ambien for sleep but I told her to sleep in the other room before she resorts to habit forming drugs. Obviously most would have an issue with this because folks in relationships are supposed to sleep together right? So that’s her concern with sleeping in the other room is how he would feel about it:rolleyes:
IMO when it comes to a good nights rest you gotta do what you gotta do. I hate when I’m sleep deprived I look and feel like crap. What say you?
Click to expand...
I feel like there's more to the story. Is he a heavy snorer? Using a CPAP machine? Tossing and turning?

If she just can't sleep comfortably with him next to her then something deeper may be going on.
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
so my friend is having severe insomnia and she’s trying everything under the sun to help (melatonin, weighted blanket, etc) . Thanks to my investigation of probing questions she is now realizing that her husband might be the cause. Her doctor was recommending ambien for sleep but I told her to sleep in the other room before she resorts to habit forming drugs. Obviously most would have an issue with this because folks in relationships are supposed to sleep together right? So that’s her concern with sleeping in the other room is how he would feel about it:rolleyes:
IMO when it comes to a good nights rest you gotta do what you gotta do. I hate when I’m sleep deprived I look and feel like crap. What say you?
Click to expand...
There's gotta be more to the story. How big is the bed? Does her DH snore? Does he move a lot? Is he a heavy sleeper and your friend a light sleeper? Are there noises in the house? I know your friend pinpointed her husband as the cause but is she stressed about something? I mean, how is her relationship with her husband? :look:

I took Ambien last year to help me sleep but that was temporarily, and because I was stressed out about taking the bar and under psychiatric supervision of course. I agree with you, she shouldn't go on drugs that could be habit forming.

I actually sleep better on the nights I spend at SO's house even though my mattress is more comfortable than his and he's a heavy sleeper who snores and I'm a very light sleeper lol. :giggle::giggle:
 
Black Ambrosia said:
I feel like there's more to the story. Is he a heavy snorer? Using a CPAP machine? Tossing and turning?

If she just can't sleep comfortably with him next to her then something deeper may be going on.
Click to expand...
Maybe but I didn’t want to poke too much. I know he snores at time. I know for myself, I like having full range of motion while I’m sleeping and being cognizant of someone else next to me the entire time sucks. Regardless of how much in love I am with some one I know for a fact that I sleep best alone.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
There's gotta be more to the story. How big is the bed? Does her DH snore? Does he move a lot? Is he a heavy sleeper and your friend a light sleeper? Are there noises in the house? I know your friend pinpointed her husband as the cause but is she stressed about something? I mean, how is her relationship with her husband? :look:

I took Ambien last year to help me sleep but that was temporarily, and because I was stressed out about taking the bar and under psychiatric supervision of course. I agree with you, she shouldn't go on drugs that could be habit forming.

I actually sleep better on the nights I spend at SO's house even though my mattress is more comfortable than his and he's a heavy sleeper who snores and I'm a very light sleeper lol. :giggle::giggle:
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You’re right. I personally can’t stand him so that’s why I said sleep in the other room to confirm or rule out my diagnosis. :abducted:
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
Maybe but I didn’t want to poke too much. I know he snores at time. I know for myself, I like having full range of motion while I’m sleeping and being cognizant of someone else next to me the entire time sucks. Regardless of how much in love I am with some one I know for a fact that I sleep best alone.
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Some people just sleep better alone. People don’t sleep well with me because I like the room to be as warm as possible and I get up a lot. And I don’t sleep well with others because I am a light sleeper. I can fall sleep with a man, but can’t sleep all night with one. Folks snatch covers, take over the bed, snore, etc..
 
DH snores like a freight train to the point that I wear earplugs at night, but I sleep great with them in. We have a king sized bed. He is working on losing a few pounds to hopefully help with the snoring. I also live my best life with a heated mattress pad on my side of the bed while he sleeps on top of his side of the cover.
 
My bf is over 6 ft and he has a king size bed. I never sleep well because he hogs the entire bed! I'll wake up in the middle of the night, and he's diagonally laying across the bed, completely spread out while I'm relegated to the corner almost falling off the bed. First I would get up and move to the other side if it had more space, then I would move him off my side, and finally I got up and took my butt home to my own bed. He hated that I leave without him knowing, so now I text him when I leave and when I get home safely. My bed is a queen so that's too small for him.

Also, he's always hot, so in the winter I need a blanket and comforter and that's way too much for him.
 
MACGlossChick said:
My bf is over 6 ft and he has a king size bed. I never sleep well because he hogs the entire bed! I'll wake up in the middle of the night, and he's diagonally laying across the bed, completely spread out while I'm relegated to the corner almost falling off the bed. First I would get up and move to the other side if it had more space, then I would move him off my side, and finally I got up and took my butt home to my own bed. He hated that I leave without him knowing, so now I text him when I leave and when I get home safely. My bed is a queen so that's too small for him.

Also, he's always hot, so in the winter I need a blanket and comforter and that's way too much for him.
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Awww there is no way I’d be able to do this for eternity. That sounds like an exhausting night lmao.
 
I used to have really bad nights with my husband. I'm a light sleeper, so any move he would make would wake me up. Also, he snores. One day I finally said enough is enough, and I moved to our guest room. I started sleeping like a baby! That was years ago and I continue to sleep in the guest room. Fortunately, our guest room is just as big as the master, so I don't feel put out. It's my sanctuary.

On occasion we still sleep together, but inevitably I end up having a bad night of sleep and I remember why we stopped. If we go on vacation, I make it a point to bring ear plugs.

In the beginning it felt kind of odd that we didn't sleep together because couples are supposed to sleep together, right? But I got over that. Life is too short and good sleep is to important to one's health to be having sleepless nights. We still cuddle in one another's beds and talk and :bdance:, but then it's a kiss goodnight and see ya!
 
At the moment I have a separate bedroom which is mine so its gone beyond tiptoeing off to the "spare room" when I can't sleep. There are plus's and minus's to both for me, but being well rested is for the benefit of our relationship lol. We both have health issues that can be triggered by lack of sleep, so when the decision was first made it was for health above romantic ideals. it He wasn't 100% happy at first, but now he appreciates the sleep benefits.

I'm a bit of a bedroom dweller also - always have been. When I get into the house my clothes come off, I get into bed and open my laptop lol. Its nice to have a completely feminine space with just my stuff and decor for my solo lounging.

**Only child, not a sleep snuggler, insomniac tendencies/night owl
 
nope. i love when one of us is traveling for work. i sleep like a rock when i'm alone. it's the total opposite when we're together.

he likes to be up under me or on top of me, he snores, he talks in his sleep, he likes the room cold and he wants the tv on. all of this is problematic for me.

i also have my issues. i prefer to sleep diagonally or parallel to the short edge.:rofl:
 
Nay said:
I used to have really bad nights with my husband. I'm a light sleeper, so any move he would make would wake me up. Also, he snores. One day I finally said enough is enough, and I moved to our guest room. I started sleeping like a baby! That was years ago and I continue to sleep in the guest room. Fortunately, our guest room is just as big as the master, so I don't feel put out. It's my sanctuary.

On occasion we still sleep together, but inevitably I end up having a bad night of sleep and I remember why we stopped. If we go on vacation, I make it a point to bring ear plugs.

In the beginning it felt kind of odd that we didn't sleep together because couples are supposed to sleep together, right? But I got over that. Life is too short and good sleep is to important to one's health to be having sleepless nights. We still cuddle in one another's beds and talk and :bdance:, but then it's a kiss goodnight and see ya!
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See this would be me. I’m sure of it! There’s so much behind a good nights sleep! I can’t imagine trying to conform to someone else’s sleep routine and depriving myself of rest because we’re married. I know he sure as hell would not lol.
 
Most couples won't admit that sleeping in the same bed is not conducive to a good night's sleep. My husband and I still sleep in the same bed but if we are cuddling, I sleep terribly. For me to be 100% comfortable I need to be laying on my stomach with no hands, feet, ANYTHING touching. It causes a lot of disagreements because he feels like we should sleep arm in arm every night like folks on TV. I CANT!
 
Evolving78 said:
Some people just sleep better alone. People don’t sleep well with me because I like the room to be as warm as possible and I get up a lot. And I don’t sleep well with others because I am a light sleeper. I can fall sleep with a man, but can’t sleep all night with one. Folks snatch covers, take over the bed, snore, etc..
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I love when a room is warm! I hear that a lot of people like the room to be on the cooler side and being snuggled under the blankets. Sounds great in theory but when I have to go to the bathroom there is no way I can uncover myself and step into a polar vortex on the way to the bathroom. I would die. :lachen:
 
My friend and her husband are both doctors. She has a more 9-5 job, he works crazy hours. She has mentioned several times that he goes and sleeps in another room (they have a little child) to get some sleep. I understand it. He needs to be sharp and well rested for his job.

We all need our sleep. If her husband is the issue, then something has to give.
 
Mai Tai said:
Most couples won't admit that sleeping in the same bed is not conducive to a good night's sleep. My husband and I still sleep in the same bed but if we are cuddling, I sleep terribly. For me to be 100% comfortable I need to be laying on my stomach with no hands, feet, ANYTHING touching. It causes a lot of disagreements because he feels like we should sleep arm in arm every night like folks on TV. I CANT!
Click to expand...

Yeahhh. DH and I don’t sleep cuddled up. We will cuddle before bed, but when it’s time to sleep, I go to my side and he goes to his. Since we have a king sized bed, it’s essentially like sleeping alone (except for the snoring). I am a stomach sleeper also, while he is a back sleeper. I don’t even think I could fall asleep cuddled up. Especially given that that would mean he’d be snoring in my ear al night. Ugh.
 
SO snores like a freight train. He’s over six feet tall and will shake the bed with his snoring. Plus he’s hot box that loves to fall asleep spooning or squishing me so he snores IN MY EAR. I feel like my skull is vibrating. We’re both habitual cover snatchers. He also wants the tv on. I prefer the tv off or very very low with a show I don’t wanna watch, I need to swaddled in blankets, and I need the room warm enough that I can get out of bed without freezing immediately. Plus when my allergies are bothering me (or my IBS :look:) I’m self conscious sleeping with him

We don’t live together and he has a queen but needs a king for sure

My mom keeps talking about wanting to sleep in her own bed but my dad is in his feelings about it. I get where he’s coming from. But #priorities
Good sleep should be paramount
 
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