Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black women

[CarmelCupcake]

Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed by black men who choose to date solely non black women? Me personally, i think its very hurtful when a man of your own race says that he does not date black women. I have friends who have stated that they can never find a good black man. Do you ever feel that your chances of meeting a good black men, or educated black man is more slim due to interracial dating? What are your thoughts?

 

[Akemi]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

No. I don't feel hurt or betrayed. He's probably not the type of guy I would want to date, anyway. If he wants to only date non-black women, so be it. I wouldn't want to date a man who doesn't appreciate my type of beauty.

And I really don't give much thought to or worry about interracial dating affecting my options because it doesn't.

 

[ThickHair]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed by black men who choose to date solely black women?

Do you mean NOT DATE soley black women??? WHY WOULD I be mad at a black guy who choses to date soley black women?

 

[NaijaTroll]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

How is this thread any different from

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=520387

Im confused

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

During my dating phase (many many moons ago ) It never bothered me if a black man dated outside of his race.

Why would I let what another man do or another man's preference affect me that way?

I could care less who he dates. My focus was on me.

We gotta stop letting what black men do and what their preferences are upset us so much.

And when you find a man who's right for you and good to you, you could care less what anyone else thinks.

 

[frida1980]

Heck NO!

I wonder the self esteem of women who care about the actions of random black strangers. I date outside of my race all the time. It would make me a hypocrite. Even if I didn't, I'm not going to let the actions of a few men scare me into thinking that I'll never find anyone. The truth is we lose are men to crime and the system. Instead of crying over a black man with a white woman, why don't we focus on us and our needs for a while. Let's focus on men that want us rather than the ones that seemingly don't.

 

[hopeful]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

What you focus on expands. It may be a reality that a number of black men prefer non-black women. But it doesn't have to be a part of your reality. I personally don't want anyone who doesn't want me. It's like that person becomes invisible to me. But on a bad day, even though I'm married to a black man, it does bother me a bit, and get under my skin. Then I readjust myself and KIM and I keep thinking positive thoughts. Keep reminding yourself that most black men want us and only us , and those who don't, you don't want them anyway.

 

[NikStarrr]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

I won't lie. When I hear or see a guy that does that--I feel a slight sting. I'm not talking about a black man who dates all races, but specifically black men who ONLY date outside of their race (and I have a brother like this). I never think about it after that. I guess everyone is allowed their preferences. *shrug* I've dated interracially, so I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

What you focus on expands. It may be a reality that a number of black men prefer non-black women. But it doesn't have to be a part of your reality. I personally don't want anyone who doesn't want me. It's like that person becomes invisible to me. But on a bad day, even though I'm married to a black man, it does bother me a bit, and get under my skin. Then I readjust myself and KIM and I keep thinking positive thoughts. Keep reminding yourself that most black men want us and only us , and those who don't, you don't want them anyway.

Thank you for that, Hopeful.. No wonder your name is hopeful, because you are always so hopeful. That really helps.

 

[Love Always]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Why was I thinking the same thing . To answer the question though, no I don't feel hurt or betrayed if a black man choose to date outside our race if they genuinely enjoy the persons company. What I do have a problem with is the black men that bash us and act as though dating other races is a come up and speak negatively about us .

How is this thread any different from
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=520387

Im confused

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

What I do have a problem with is the black men that bash us and act as though dating other races is a come up and speak negatively about us .

This I don't like either.

 

[locabouthair]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

I try not to focus on it. I can see how it could be hurtful though. Like hopeful said you have to want someone who wants you. I had a crush on guy who only dated white and latina women. Did not want to date a BW at all but he wasn't no good anyway so no loss here lol.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Why was I thinking the same thing . To answer the question though, no I don't feel hurt or betrayed if a black man choose to date outside our race if they genuinely enjoy the persons company. What I do have a problem with is the black men that bash us and act as though dating other races is a come up and speak negatively about us .

Yes, i find this interesting, yet disturbing when men have this belief. How could a man find it to be a come up when they date non black women. It just seems so backwards to me.

 

[Imani]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

nope not at all. I'm not on their mind/radar so therefore neither are they on mine.

 

[Triniwegian]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Of course not...they're not dating me so why should I care?

 

[Charz]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Bitterness about other people's choices and/or preferences is not a good look.

 

[TrueToHair]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

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[TrueToHair]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

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[hopeful]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Yes, i find this interesting, yet disturbing when men have this belief. How could a man find it to be a come up when they date non black women. It just seems so backwards to me.

Because it is backwards. You don't want a backwards man do you? Focus your energy on happy black couples and on the men who love us. Focus your energy on how beautiful you are and on what a catch you are. I was at a Valentine's Day party with 99% black couples. It was so beautiful and affirming. One couple had been married for 55 years. If you are not seeing the love you need to see, seek it out, find it online, IRL, at church, somewhere, because love is still alive and well, black love is still alive and well too.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Bitterness about other people's choices and/or preferences is not a good look.

I didn't say i was bitter. I said it can be hurtful when a man of your own race says that he does not date the women in your race. Im sure if anyone, regardless of race was told that they were undateable because of their skin color, their reaction would not be looking like this banana right here

 

[snillohsss]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

no, I don't care. In the everyday world, more often than not, the women of the other race isn't all that attractive.

 

[NaijaTroll]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Wow, um, lol that was harsh. I think she's trying to work this out in her head and that's okay I think.

when you end up making the same thread asking the same thing (changing the titles dont mean anything) then it's a problem.

while you're (general you) busy giving the evil eye to one that is dating Yi Chu, you're missing out on the MANY that still date black women.

 

[TrueToHair]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

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[Etherealsmile]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

in the past, yes it did but now not at all. As i grew more comfortable in my skin and expanded my dating preferences to the global village, I could care less about those who don't look at me as an option. I have plenty of fish in my pool

 

[frida1980]

I definitely agree with this part (bolded). Numbers don't lie, and there are more than enough black men who'd want to be with OP.

I still think the hurt that people feel is that same historical pain that was in our culture for years (light skin/dark skin, good hair/bad hair). She's trying to resolve that so she should move on, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm a member on a couple of Asian forums (don't ask, lol, well okay I guess you can ask) and they have the same questions about people in their culture dating white people.

Anyway, I didn't read the other thread, so I'm off to go look at that now.

Ok, why are you on an Asian forum? Just curious.

 

[TrueToHair]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

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[jupitermoon]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

We as women can be very hard on each other. Sometimes I wonder why a woman can't admit to be being hurt about certain aspects of being single without being accused of being jealous, bitter, etc. by other women?

Perhaps the OP keeps making threads like this because this is a topic that really bothers her, and understandably so. If people dislike this topic so much why click on it and respond? Trying to shut someone up (I've seen this a lot on this forum lately) or act dismissive towards them for expressing their feelings isn't helpful.

 

[TrueToHair]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

...............

 

[TrueToHair]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

..................

 

[NaijaTroll]

Re: Do you ever feel hurt or betrayed when black men choose to soley date non black w

Anyway, I didn't read the other thread, so I'm off to go look at that now.

Lol please do. Im really not trying to play the OP but this is just weird. I mean after all those threads, it's like what exactly is it that you wnat to hear?