Do you ever choose your future spouse based on hair texture or skin colour?

[SleekyHair]

One thing about this board, you can't say you prefer light skinned anything. You can't say anything favorable about anyone lightskinned without someone thinking the only reason is because that person is lightskinned with good hair. You can't even post in the fashion forum and ask for opinions on a light and black bag without skin color coming into it. Are we really this sad?

I've noticed this as well. You also can't call any dark skin person/celebrity unattractive or people will accuse you of having self hate issues.

 

[Kindheart]

I defintley dont care about skin color or hair type but I do tend to be more attracted to tall men .

 

[kmn1980]

When I was single, as long as he was brown (as in not white) I didn't care. Just so happens that I married a guy who is African-American and cocoa-colored but has type 3a/3b hair but I definitely didn't go looking for that.

ETA: Here is a chart with all of the shades of "Chocolate". I guess this is what Heidi Klum meant when she said we are all shades of brown.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate_(color)#Tones_of_chocolate_color_comparison_chart

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Not off hair texture or skin color, but moreso FEATURES.

It's really important that our features blend well together. I also need to see pics of mama, daddy, aunts, uncles, siblings, children (f they have any), children's mom (cause you know her features come into play as well) to get an idea of what might "skip a generation" and happen to land on "our" kids.

I want cute kids. I'm not gonna be sexing someone like Mike Tyson without birth control, because his features and mine won't blend well together. All of his kids look like him. As babies it's a cute look, but I don't want my daughter taking after him. Nor someone like Lebron James.

The hair, skin color doesn't really matter, because you could have someone with beautiful skin and looser textured hair, but their features won't blend well with yours. Like, I don't find Indians or Pakistanis attractive at all, but yet they have great skin coloring and beautiful hair. Most have dark circles under their eyes, huge long noses and funny looking big eyes. They're just not an attractive group of people (well, most of the men anyway).

Michael Jai White and I might have some cute kids together, but some of his features are a bit strong and might overpower mine. He's ruggedly handsome, not handsome handsome. lol

This is my sentiments exactly! And I don't care who don't like it! Say it to my face.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

I was like "Did anyone even look at their faces?" And my hubby's wise self goes "No, they're going after what they think they're supposed to like." Seriously, the blonde hair and pink skirts told men that they were attractive. Sad.

Your husband really is a wise man.

I want cute kids. I'm not gonna be sexing someone like Mike Tyson without birth control, because his features and mine won't blend well together. All of his kids look like him. As babies it's a cute look, but I don't want my daughter taking after him. Nor someone like Lebron James.

The hair, skin color doesn't really matter, because you could have someone with beautiful skin and looser textured hair, but their features won't blend well with yours. Like, I don't find Indians or Pakistanis attractive at all, but yet they have great skin coloring and beautiful hair. Most have dark circles under their eyes, huge long noses and funny looking big eyes. They're just not an attractive group of people (well, most of the men anyway).

Praise Jeezuz! But you know you're wrong for wanting your chirrens to be cute.

As for the second bolded - dem ah bleach! Fairness creams and "face packs" can't be used around the eyes, and that's why you see indo-pak people of all ages who appear to have dark circles.

Anyhoo, I look at any future mates based on height. Is that just as bad?

Yes! Just look at this article! It's evil to want your children to have a social advantage. Why would you want your children to be taken seriously and earn more money just because they're tall. I bet you hate short people like yourself My people, my people!

If it makes them feel better to have a light skinned child with good hair and green eyes what's the problem? We all seem to end up messed up anyway so why not be a messed up person that looks like what society considers beautiful.

I do think it's important to consider the way someone looks IF that's important to you. Why have babies with a dark skinned black man and make the child feel bad because you consider them black and ugly?

First bolded: the world ain't changing for the better anytime soon. America is changing, however, and blacks who love to assume we have solidarity with brown and red and yellow peoples will be in for a tragic awakening as the next generation is forced to interact more with TRULY colorstruck people from latin america and increasingly powerful asian nations.

Second bolded: I am 25 and I have seen tooooooooo much of this in my lifetime. There are women who are completely self hating and to them black = ugly is internalized. Black = Mandingo is also internalized. When it comes time to mate selection we see them acting on: more ugly=more authentically black = more mandingo-like.

That's the real reason that the same chicks who worship kim kardashian and amber rose and aishwarya rai are excited to procreate with beanie siegel and shabba ranks.

Unless some of these confused, self hating negroes plan to practice female feticide, they need to hold similar standards for male and female beauty. I have been to children's birthday parties where little Lebronisha watches her mother fawn over all the light & curly little girls asking : "whose baby is this? she's so pretty! " with hurt and confusion.

 

[jada1111]

Do you ever choose your future spouse based on hair texture or skin colour?

I haven't read the responses yet. I didn't but for those that do I don't see anything wrong with it. If it makes them feel better to have a light skinned child with good hair and green eyes what's the problem? We all seem to end up messed up anyway so why not be a messed up person that looks like what society considers beautiful.

We seem to have a problem with everything. You can't admit you like your light skin, don't like black men with white women, don't want a black woman to have kids with a light skinned black man.

Everyone has a preference and that' just what that is. The OP likes dark men, a man skin color doesn't matter to me but the next person may only date black men with green eyes.

I do think it's important to consider the way someone looks IF that's important to you. Why have babies with a dark skinned black man and make the child feel bad because you consider them black and ugly?

One thing about this board, you can't say you prefer light skinned anything. You can't say anything favorable about anyone lightskinned without someone thinking the only reason is because that person is lightskinned with good hair. You can't even post in the fashion forum and ask for opinions on a light and black bag without skin color coming into it. Are we really this sad?

Yeah, I noticed that too, but I'm still gonna call Fannie and Diddy ugly regardless of what anyone thinks.

 

[qchelle]

Hmm...well I guess some people can just negate facial features.....or atleast put them on the back burner...and do their genetic mixing based on skin tone and hair texture. Because to them, the skin tone and hair texture is what makes someone attractive moreso than their facial features. I'm not saying that it's the only thing that matters in attractiveness, it just matters more. I get it.

I knew some people did this with adults (girl+light skin+curly hair+ugly face=attractive; boy+dark skin+ugly face=attractive), but I didn't know this line of thinking was so prevalent in what makes attractive children, as well. I wonder if it's just the childs parents who would consider the children attractive (with the above mentioned features)...and everyone else would look at the child and see an ugly face (sorry if that's too harsh)...and that's it. ??

But I agree with jada1111. The first thing that cathes my eye is how their facial features are arranged and if they would look good blending with mine. Maybe when we're sexing I'll make a comment about the color of their penis and give it a name accordingly (chocolate bar, skrawberry pop, etc). But that's about it for me as far as color goes

And people, calm down about the self hate thing. Stop acting surprised when people equate preferring lighter skin with being white and better and blahhhh. And stop harping on disproving this proven theory. We live on Planet Earth. This is how we do things. Hopefully we have all accepted this. Maybe on Mars green skin on women is more represented than purple skin. If it is, hopefully everyone in their society accepts it, and dates who they want regardless.

 

[dlewis]

Hmm...well I guess some people can just negate facial features.....or atleast put them on the back burner...and do their genetic mixing based on skin tone and hair texture. Because to them, the skin tone and hair texture is what makes someone attractive moreso than their facial features. I'm not saying that it's the only thing that matters in attractiveness, it just matters more. I get it.

I knew some people did this with adults (girl+light skin+curly hair+ugly face=attractive; boy+dark skin+ugly face=attractive), but I didn't know this line of thinking was so prevalent in what makes attractive children, as well. I wonder if it's just the childs parents who would consider the children attractive (with the above mentioned features)...and everyone else would look at the child and see an ugly face (sorry if that's too harsh)...and that's it. ??

But I agree with jada1111. The first thing that cathes my eye is how their facial features are arranged and if they would look good blending with mine. Maybe when we're sexing I'll make a comment about the color of their penis and give it a name accordingly (chocolate bar, skrawberry pop, etc). But that's about it for me as far as color goes

And people, calm down about the self hate thing. Stop acting surprised when people equate preferring lighter skin with being white and better and blahhhh. And stop harping on disproving this proven theory. We live on Planet Earth. This is how we do things. Hopefully we have all accepted this. Maybe on Mars green skin on women is more represented than purple skin. If it is, hopefully everyone in their society accepts it, and dates who they want regardless.

Ya know, qchelle alot of people consider you at least cute if you're light skinned and ugly with good hair. One of friends use to say that all the time until I corrected her and she admitted that she was taught that light skin = at least being cute. I would be looking all sideways at these people wondering how she came to the conclussion that they were cute.

Skin color was an issue in my home. Being the darkest one in the house and my father constantly saying that a child should be no darker than the darkest parent. Though he never meant for me to take it that I might no be his and I never really thought that but that did something to me. He still believes that and I remember him pointing that out to me in an article. When he sees two parents a shade of brown with a dark child, in his mind, that man is not the father of that child. I can tell you that he has be right about that alot. Alot of the time it comes out that the child is not that man child.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

To answer the OP's question: NOPE!

Never have...and never will! If a man is handsome, treats me right, and we "click" and have chemistry, then no I really couldn't care less what skin tone he is or what type of "texture" his hair is. Most guys shave their hair down so low that you can't even tell these days anyway. Crazy! lol

Honestly, I really don't care. That's pretty vain IMO. I wouldn't want a guy to choose me solely based on my skin tone or hair texture, so why would I do that to a guy? Plus, I'm sorry, but skin tone and "good hair" isn't going to matter when the times get rough and you and your husband have to learn how to get along together and solve problems as a couple. Idk....stuff like that is just so trivial to me.

 

[dlewis]

I defintley dont care about skin color or hair type but I do tend to be more attracted to tall men .

I love tall men also. That just does something to me.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I love tall men also. That just does something to me.

+2
Yea...add me too on the list of liking tall men. They just seem so much more MASCULINE to me. I don't think I could be w/a short man. I'm already kind of "short" for a woman (5'6), so I don't think I want a man who is my height. He has to be at least 5'11 for me. He doesn't have to be 6'4 or anything, but a guy who is 6'0 or 6'1 is fine. So hot!

 

[dlewis]

+2
Yea...add me too on the list of liking tall men. They just seem so much more MASCULINE to me. I don't think I could be w/a short man. I'm already kind of "short" for a woman (5'6), so I don't think I want a man who is my height. He has to be at least 5'11 for me. He doesn't have to be 6'4 or anything, but a guy who is 6'0 or 6'1 is fine. So hot!

I know what you mean.

My DH and my boss say I have a thing against short people. Women can be short but a man needs to be tall.

My brother's children mothers are short. His DF is really short and they have a son together. I'm always telling him to eat his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and get plenty of rest. I hope he's not going to be short. All the men in this family are 6'-5" and up.

 

[qchelle]

+2
Yea...add me too on the list of liking tall men. They just seem so much more MASCULINE to me. I don't think I could be w/a short man. I'm already kind of "short" for a woman (5'6), so I don't think I want a man who is my height. He has to be at least 5'11 for me. He doesn't have to be 6'4 or anything, but a guy who is 6'0 or 6'1 is fine. So hot!

That is NOT short for a woman! Is it?! Cuz if it is, I must be a midget!

 

[qchelle]

Ya know, qchelle alot of people consider you at least cute if you're light skinned and ugly with good hair. One of friends use to say that all the time until I corrected her and she admitted that she was taught that light skin = at least being cute. I would be looking all sideways at these people wondering how she came to the conclussion that they were cute.

Skin color was an issue in my home. Being the darkest one in the house and my father constantly saying that a child should be no darker than the darkest parent. Though he never meant for me to take it that I might no be his and I never really thought that but that did something to me. He still believes that and I remember him pointing that out to me in an article. When he sees two parents a shade of brown with a dark child, in his mind, that man is not the father of that child. I can tell you that he has be right about that alot. Alot of the time it comes out that the child is not that man child.

1st paragraph: I get that. I cannot, for the life of me, wrap my brain around that line of thinking...but I certainly get that others feel that way.

2nd paragraph: Woooow. So what if both parents were dark and they had a light child? Would he still think it wasn't the mans child? Or does this only apply to two lighter (ish) people who produce a dark(er) child? What if the grandparents were dark and the parent was light and the child just took after the grandparents?

These are alot of questions You don't have to answer any. I'm just mulling this over in my mind, because I had never heard this before.

 

[misspriss]

I have found I have a preference for light brown skinned men, with dark 3c-4b hair - but that's only because of my narcissism - I want my kids to look like me. I also have a preference for tall men (6'1"-6'5") and that's because I'm super short and I want my sons to be tall. So I guess I'm in the camp of wanting cute (taller) mini-me's. But looks are pretty far down on my "list". As long as I find him attractive and we have harmonizing features, there are WAY more important things to consider when choosing a spouse...