Do you approach or pursue men you are interested in?

[Puddles]

People are confusing "approach" and "pursuit." A smart woman knows they're not the same.

Newsflash: Men can leave regardless of who initiated the relationship.

I agree.

 

[Puddles]

this is the exception and very rare.

In my case....I feel it worked cause talking to them back then....I found out they were interested in me to begin with.
As in my hubby....he was just done messing with the women he worked with.(he was my boss.) He said it was too much trouble dealing with women on the job. So I pursued him.
Plus he says I seemed too much for him at the time....cause I'm "very" outgoing and assertive.

 

[Covergirl5906]

Hey girl. I was the one who made that comment, so I should probably explain what I mean.

I used to pursue men and NONE of those situations ever came to fruition. What I've come to realize -- whether I like it or not -- is that if a man wants you, he will do whatever it takes to get you. In your other thread, I said that you shouldn't have pursued that guy because he was showing through his actions that he didn't want to get involved with you for whatever reason, and you ended up wasting valuable energy on someone with his own issues who was in no place to be dating you. If he wanted to be with you, he would have made a way without you having to lift a finger.

No excuses, no rationalizations about being too "busy," too hurt by exes/divorce or too "shy" -- he will find a way. It's just in their nature to hunt, and I think they value what they have to work for moreso than something that just comes to them.

If you do the pursuing, you ALWAYS end up being the one taking the lead, and that begins to irk you. You wonder if you'd even have the relationship if you hadn't done anything. When I pursued men, I'd go out on dates with them and do fun activities, but after a while, I wondered why they never reciprocated, never told me I was special or anything like that. Frankly, they just weren't interested in me like that for whatever reason, even though I darn near rolled out the welcome mat and told them to come on in!

And yet, I find out later that they were busy asking OTHER women out while telling me they were "too busy" to meet when I'd try to initiate something.

Now... I DO think that you can do things to be more proactive in getting men. Flirt a little more. Drop some hints. Put yourself in a place where you'll meet a lot of single men and chat them up. Hey, one time, I handed a guy my card and said, "Next time you're in town, give me a call."

He didn't, but whatev... the point is, I showed my interest but put the ball in HIS court so he could then take over.

I just know that looking at all my female friends who are married, engaged, in long-term relationships, EVERY LAST ONE said that the man pursued HER. At the most, the woman might have asked him out on the first date, but he took the lead after that. My male friends say the same.

Hope that helps!

I totally agree with everything you said...I dont believe in women persuing men