Dating Men of Other Races in Alabama

[Nature'sWay]

Is it just me or is it harder in Alabama to date outside of the black race being black? I have only dated black men and I feel like I need a change. Lately when a guy has asked me for my number, he never wants to go out and doesn't show a whole lot of interest in me the way I know I deserve. I have encountered a guy who did and he was a caucasian male but he was engaged so we couldn't go far with it (his fiance was blk too). When I worked in the restaurant business I noticed this too that caucasian men were the only type of guys genuwinely interested in me but I never dated one. They were just my friends. I have noticed this in my present job too. I would like to date someone of another race. I am just at a stage where I want to date a nice guy who is interested in who I am and would like to get to know me and understand me and me him. Do yall think that I am expecting too much?

 

[Hidden_Angel]

No I dont think you our asking for much and peronal I thnk you SHOULD GO FOR IT..

its not written in stone that you have to marry the guys you date but you can still enjoy yourself and have fun! just give it a try see how things work and report back to us!

 

[mango387]

Hello. I was born and raised in Alabama. I have never dated a white man (no particular reason), BUT I know for a fact that it depends on you, the person you are interested in, and what part of the state that you are (to a certain degree). I visited Mobile for a family reunion, and I had never received so much flirting from white men nor seen so many interracial couples in the state (both BW/WM and BM/WW).

Are you new to Alabama?

 

[Divine Inspiration]

There's nothing wrong with your expecatations, but I would not attribute your issues to living in Alabama. I was born and raised in Alabama, and I didn't have a problem with finding respectable black men or respectable men of any race for that matter.

And if these white guys have been interested in you, why haven't you dated them? I'm not sure I'm understanding the problem. If you want to date outside of your race, and white men are epproaching you, what's the matter? That's an opportunity to get to know different people and see what's out there.

While some regions are typically more accepting of IR dating, I don't think it's impossible or unrealistic to date outside of your race in AL. I agree with mango387; it depends on you. Settle for nothing less than you what you want/deserve.

 

[Nature'sWay]

Hello. I was born and raised in Alabama. I have never dated a white man (no particular reason), BUT I know for a fact that it depends on you, the person you are interested in, and what part of the state that you are (to a certain degree). I visited Mobile for a family reunion, and I had never received so much flirting from white men nor seen so many interracial couples in the state (both BW/WM and BM/WW).

Are you new to Alabama?

No I'm not new. i have been living here my whole life.

 

[mango387]

No I'm not new. i have been living here my whole life.

Cool! Well, I am sure the right person (black, Latino, white, etc.) will come along. When he does, see if he has a brother for me. I'll be moving back to AL in August.

 

[justsimply]

I live in the desert and I think it's about 12 black men are here including my ex and my son (lol) ... it's just too hot here. I know I'm running back to civilization when I retire. I miss that "swagger" black men have, even when they have nothing to "swagger" about.

But seriously... I don't have a problem dating in or out of my race; I've done both. I think men, like women, are individuals. If a man treats you well (and you should settle for nothing less), it's who he is and has absolutely nothing to do with his race.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

You would probably have more luck with online dating to pursue an I/R relationship in your area. I've visited Huntsville AL and for the most part, I was the only black woman in company of white men and that was for business. I just didn't see any places where people intermingled so I could see that as a hindrance.

 

[seraphinelle]

Serious question.

Do black women (not necessarily this poster) have to ask for permission to date non-black males? LOL?

 

[MissJ]

I'd like to know about dating guys of other races in Alabama as well.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Serious question.

Do black women (not necessarily this poster) have to ask for permission to date non-black males? LOL?

I don't think permission is necessary. I think black women who are interested in dating I/R may not know how to do so, especially those who come from homogenous backgrounds.

As a sidenote, for alot of women, myself included dating isn't intuitive and when I first got on the scene I was clueless when a black man was showing interest, let alone anybody else.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Serious question.

Do black women (not necessarily this poster) have to ask for permission to date non-black males? LOL?

No ma'am.

 

[newflowers]

I am curious about IR dating in the South as well. Having been born, raised, and living in So Cal for my entire life, the only intimate information I have about the South is from family members who live(d) there. I know when I was young, my relatives from the South were scandalized when they met my white boyfriend at a family reunion. My grandfather, who was from Alabama stopped speaking to me when I had IR child - until the day he died, he refused to speak to me even if he was at my parents house.

I think IR dating really depends on the person and, sometimes, on the geographic region in terms of what is culturally acceptable.

 

[mango387]

^^^I think it depends upon the individuals WITHIN the region. One fact that is a ultra-embarrassing is that Alabama was one of the last states to repeal a NONENFORCEABLE ban on interracial marriages in 2000. The vote was really close. What a lot of people assume is that it was only racist white people voting in favor of the law staying in place. What I have discovered is that there are some African-Americans as well who truly do not believe in interracial marriages. This is not the case just in the South (AL, MS, GA, etc.), but elsewhere.

Off topic-Now, that I am living in CA, I know that interracial marriages and dating are more accepted here. What that statement does not tell you is that there seems to be just as many racists here as in AL. I think Californians tend to be more sophisticated about it though.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Off topic-Now, that I am living in CA, I know that interracial marriages and dating are more accepted here. What that statement does not tell you is that there seems to be just as many racists here as in AL. I think Californians tend to be more sophisticated about it though.

I have to agree. There's a different kind of racism here...if that makes sense. As with other areas, you have to be discerning and choose "friends" carefully.

 

[UmSumayyah]

OP may want to pm rozlips.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I can't speak about Alabama, but I was just in Jackson, MS this weekend, and I saw more BW/WM couples than I have ever seen there. The strange thing is that I don't even remember seeing that many BM/WW couples in Jackson. (Especially not like they are in TX!)

Maybe I'm paying more attention to the BW/WM because of all the talk about interracial relationships on this site.

When I lived in Jackson, I went out with a white guy a few times, but nothing ever came of it. We studied together and he asked me out, but I met a black guy that I liked better after a few weeks. I was only there for 3 years, but I had a lot of offers from white guys. They just weren't really the type of white guys I was attracted to. I'm still hoping for black love, but it seems like the dirty south is becoming much more open to interracial love.

 

[EbonynIvory]

^^^I think it depends upon the individuals WITHIN the region. One fact that is a ultra-embarrassing is that Alabama was one of the last states to repeal a NONENFORCEABLE ban on interracial marriages in 2000. The vote was really close. What a lot of people assume is that it was only racist white people voting in favor of the law staying in place. What I have discovered is that there are some African-Americans as well who truly do not believe in interracial marriages. This is not the case just in the South (AL, MS, GA, etc.), but elsewhere.

Off topic-Now, that I am living in CA, I know that interracial marriages and dating are more accepted here. What that statement does not tell you is that there seems to be just as many racists here as in AL. I think Californians tend to be more sophisticated about it though.

I have lived in Alabama all my life. I grew up in Cullman county (predominantly white and pretty sure they still hold KKK rallies). I have been married going on 9 years this May to a white man. While we were dating we had our share of threats when we lived in Cullman county and we chose to move to Huntsville after we got married.

There are places in Alabama that are still racially tense, especially Cullman county. I lived in an area that we had a school 5 miles from my house, but because the "white folks" in the area didn't want black people in their school, we were bused 15 miles away to another school and it's still like that to this day. The black people that live in that area don't even stand up for their rights, they just bow and take what's given them.

Oh, and when they repealed that interracial law, my husband and I got all kinds of questions about our marriage. I told them that when we were getting our marriage license, the only question they asked was "Are you cousins". We laughed and was like, "lady look at us, do we look like cousins?"