Dating/Marrying Older Men.
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Rastafarai
Well-Known Member
I attempted to and he was 15 years my senior. He was not big on showing affection, seldom if ever used terms of endearment, and would always make some reference to my age to indicate my lack of maturity. He was also stubborn and hardly compromised or met me half way. There was a significant lack in communication and I wasn't fully happy.
Would I do it again? I don't know.
Would I do it again? I don't know.
Blkrose
Well-Known Member
I am in a current relationship with an older man he is 10 years older i'm 29. He amazingly does not look it at all. He has his moments but most of the time those moments are filled with love he provides me with an emotional fulfillment that I have never ever experienced in this time with another man. Would I do it again.....with this man time and time again God knows I wish he would have been my first
bluediamond0829
Well-Known Member
I was just having this convo with my mom yesterday about me dating or marrying a older man(only be 10 years)--im 31 right now. And i would definitly do it, only bcuz most of the men around my age are not ready to settle and if i do find a man that is that age they are more ready to settle down and have kids. I want one that doesn't of course look his age so he has to take care of himself. And also the person maybe more settled.
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Optimus_Prime
Well-Known Member
Probably not. I used to think I was asexual, but now I am becoming interested in sex. When I finally start having sex, it wont be with someone so far past his prime.
MrsAriannaAmbers
New Member
Mine is 8 years older than me...yes, everythaaaannnnnnggg is better!
panama_princess6
New Member
I am... and i cant say i would do it again. My current boyfriend is 9 years older than me. I am 26. Hes stubborn, set in his ways, refuses to compromise, mean, and bitter... i have to tell him all the time I have a father... and you are not him... I see why men say they dont like to date older women.
panamoni
Well-Known Member
I do and regret it.
Though I've been told that I shouldn't let it jade me going forward. I don't know -- just don't like the potential father/daughter dynamic that could emerge. I guess the jury is still out on whether I would do it again for sure. Right now, I'm leaning against, but I'm keeping an open mind based on sound advice I've received and will reevaluate.
Though I've been told that I shouldn't let it jade me going forward. I don't know -- just don't like the potential father/daughter dynamic that could emerge. I guess the jury is still out on whether I would do it again for sure. Right now, I'm leaning against, but I'm keeping an open mind based on sound advice I've received and will reevaluate.
Rastafarai
Well-Known Member
This has been my experience. With this dynamic in place its hard to really grow with the person because they feel like they have "been there, done that."
panamoni
Well-Known Member
I totally saw this emerging as well.
Ozma
New Member
I can't seem to help myself; I just find older men so darned attractive. When I was 17, I dated a 31 y.o. Then, when I was 23, I met a 39 y.o. and we stayed together for 13 yrs. I am currently interested in an "old geezer" that I work with, lol. I think he's around 48-50, but he's just my type.
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
Generally, I do (10+ years) but I think I'm going to stop.
A FB friend of mine wrote a blog about women who only chooses older men because they have more, are more sophisticated, etc are stupid. He said they were stupid because these men usually date much younger because they are losers and no woman thier age will have them.
The more I tried to disagree, the more I saw his point. While the men I've dated have more than me, they were lagging compared to others in thier age group. They were conceited and had extreme character flaws. Then I think about the men my age whom I would never date, and they generally date women who are much younger...
I'm sure there are exceptions to the rules but the blog, along with my experiences and observations gave me something to think about.
A FB friend of mine wrote a blog about women who only chooses older men because they have more, are more sophisticated, etc are stupid. He said they were stupid because these men usually date much younger because they are losers and no woman thier age will have them.
The more I tried to disagree, the more I saw his point. While the men I've dated have more than me, they were lagging compared to others in thier age group. They were conceited and had extreme character flaws. Then I think about the men my age whom I would never date, and they generally date women who are much younger...
I'm sure there are exceptions to the rules but the blog, along with my experiences and observations gave me something to think about.
Ballerina_Bun
Well-Known Member
Interesting! I can see :scratchsc: , hmmmm. Nevermind ...
I'm sure this isn't true for all relationships like this. I had a longterm relationship with someone much older then me. The initial attraction to this type of relationship was because of a theory I had about men in their 30’s. I will spare you of having to read about that.
The other reason … I ASSUMED that older men had already put some other woman through the same “schtuff” that some younger men put women through. The older man would have learned his lesson, and you could by pass some childish things. Though this may be true in some cases, in the end, it depends on the man.
So, where is this blog. Sounds like it could be interesting to read.
Taliah
And I'm Dancing...
Intersting blog.
This is assuming that every woman who dates an older man exclusively is somehow always finding a man who also dates younger woman exclusively. Very rare if you ask me.
In his blog he can't seems to make a solid decision on who has the choosing power?
Is it younger women choosing older men or is he writing about older men choosing younger women?
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
http://edotdizzy.blogspot.com/searc...-max=2009-11-01T00:00:00-07:00&max-results=11
When I was in high school all my female friends dated older guys that wasn't in high school. I use to be mad as hell cause all the chicks I wanted to get with didn't date guys their own age! I always wanted to be the older guy who got all the *****es! Well now I am the older guy and I am sickened by *****s dating girls that are still in high school. My friend once dated a guy (22) when she was 14! That ***** got problems! This is for all the females that think their winning by dating older guys, news flash, you’re dating a loser! Why do I say that? Well no guy WANTS to date a younger girl; he is forced to if he does. Women their age or older women don't want his *** so he is forced to date you and you don't know any better. You're in high school so your standards of dating are at 0. If he has a car and out of high school, you think you’re winning because he is more mature then the guy that was in your English class. WRONG! How is it that females will date a older guy in high school, get out of high school and look down on guys who date girls still in high school? Women are some *** backwards creatures. I mean that in a nice way, don’t want to lose all my followers!
I honestly don't think women mature faster then men. I just think women try to be grown way before they have to. That's just my input.
When women get older, they date younger men (sometimes). Hm.. This is when I scratch my head. Didn't you date older men because they were more mature but now you’re dating younger men because they have better d***? I honestly think women think with their ***** just as much as guys think with their ****. You date older guys when you’re young because you want that older pipe then you date younger guys when you’re old because they got that lasting pipe. If you date older men when you’re young because they are more established then guys your age. You’re an idiot because women their age aren't ****ing with them because they aren't as established or mentally able to hold on a relationship. So in the long run does age really matter? NO!
I often feel like women treat love like long lost treasure and spend their entire life looking for it in all the wrong places. Men and women are different. We men spend our childhood and teen years, having fun. Women never seem to have fun in the dating game until they get their heart broken. It just amazes me that women go through these stages of men they date as they get older. Guys just date and we catch a lot of slack for not having the same filters but O well. We experience a lot less heartache. Just date because age has nothing to do with stability and mental state. You run around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to find love and keep running off cliffs. The moral of this blog is, stop being so stupid thinking you’re being smart. It isn’t working and hasn’t worked. Peeeaaaaaaaaace!!
When I was in high school all my female friends dated older guys that wasn't in high school. I use to be mad as hell cause all the chicks I wanted to get with didn't date guys their own age! I always wanted to be the older guy who got all the *****es! Well now I am the older guy and I am sickened by *****s dating girls that are still in high school. My friend once dated a guy (22) when she was 14! That ***** got problems! This is for all the females that think their winning by dating older guys, news flash, you’re dating a loser! Why do I say that? Well no guy WANTS to date a younger girl; he is forced to if he does. Women their age or older women don't want his *** so he is forced to date you and you don't know any better. You're in high school so your standards of dating are at 0. If he has a car and out of high school, you think you’re winning because he is more mature then the guy that was in your English class. WRONG! How is it that females will date a older guy in high school, get out of high school and look down on guys who date girls still in high school? Women are some *** backwards creatures. I mean that in a nice way, don’t want to lose all my followers!
I honestly don't think women mature faster then men. I just think women try to be grown way before they have to. That's just my input.
When women get older, they date younger men (sometimes). Hm.. This is when I scratch my head. Didn't you date older men because they were more mature but now you’re dating younger men because they have better d***? I honestly think women think with their ***** just as much as guys think with their ****. You date older guys when you’re young because you want that older pipe then you date younger guys when you’re old because they got that lasting pipe. If you date older men when you’re young because they are more established then guys your age. You’re an idiot because women their age aren't ****ing with them because they aren't as established or mentally able to hold on a relationship. So in the long run does age really matter? NO!
I often feel like women treat love like long lost treasure and spend their entire life looking for it in all the wrong places. Men and women are different. We men spend our childhood and teen years, having fun. Women never seem to have fun in the dating game until they get their heart broken. It just amazes me that women go through these stages of men they date as they get older. Guys just date and we catch a lot of slack for not having the same filters but O well. We experience a lot less heartache. Just date because age has nothing to do with stability and mental state. You run around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to find love and keep running off cliffs. The moral of this blog is, stop being so stupid thinking you’re being smart. It isn’t working and hasn’t worked. Peeeaaaaaaaaace!!
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Dh is seven years older than me. I've always dated older men, one as much as 10 years.
The one thing I've noticed in being with someone older is there is a chance to be manipulated if you don't know who you are and as you grow "up" and older the older partner has to grow with you. The manipulation isn't intentional at times, it's basically a superiority like "I'm older, I know better", etc. I met dh when I was 21 and I'm a much different person 13 years later. Luckily he was never insecure and accepted my growth as a person as a positive change.
The one thing I've noticed in being with someone older is there is a chance to be manipulated if you don't know who you are and as you grow "up" and older the older partner has to grow with you. The manipulation isn't intentional at times, it's basically a superiority like "I'm older, I know better", etc. I met dh when I was 21 and I'm a much different person 13 years later. Luckily he was never insecure and accepted my growth as a person as a positive change.
Highly Favored8
Well-Known Member
Even after reading his blog I still do not see his point. He said that "older men are losers" b/c they cannot go after women thier own age who would put up with his behind. Yes, and no. It goes both ways I can date a man my age and the problem would be some men my age are losers some younger men are losers. It is all about balance and finding whats right for you.
Now if he is speaking of girls in high school who dated older guys, well shoot that is me. However, I date guys my own age who were not mature enough. Who broke down when it came to responsiblity. JMHO
Highly Favored8
Well-Known Member
I can go from 3-12 years older than me. I have done that before. I dated men my own age and a year or two younger and they were not on the same level/field as me.
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
The majority of my exes who are older aren't considered "losers" at all but most(that I've dealt with) are lagging behind thier peers in thier respective age group in regards to establishment, maturity, etc.
Also, I think it is easier to pick out "loser" when the guy is your age because you are better able to measure him against yourself and your peers.
A friend who is 12 years older than me introduced me to her cousin who is 10 years older than me and while he isn't a loser at all, he is no where near her level, even though they are only 2 years apart, he is closer to mine. He is really just getting established and stable, like many of my peers but he has that "I'm older so I know more" superiority complex, also.
erplexedBut in the end, do what works for you
phillycocogirl
New Member
I am in a relationship with someone that is 10+ years older than me and this is sums up how I believe my he feels. This is my first serious relationship but he's been in a few serious relationships before me that haven't worked out so well and while I know he loves me sometimes it feels like hes not as enthusiatic, for lack of a better term. I tell him all the time that I don't want to be a footnote in your life.
Other than that I feel we have a great relationship. He doesn't try to act like my father and at the same time I feel like I can learn from him withou feeling like i'm being "molded".
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Vanity1
Well-Known Member
My husband is the youngest guy I have ever dated, and he is 5 years older than I am. When I dated older men in the past, I can't say I ever felt that any of them tried to act like my father, nor that they came at me with a been there, done that attitude. If they did, it was to teach me things that have proven to be beneficial to my life in the long run, not to simply rub their age and so called wisdom in my face. If an older dude turned out to be a jerk, he was simply, well, a jerk, and I have met my share of jerks young and old. Either they are old jerks or young jerks.
Regardless, I feel like there is a tradeoff with everything when it comes to relationships and dating and marriage. Some are less dramatic than others. Some people are the exception to the rule. Just know what you are getting yourself into and know what your dealbreakers are.
There may be benefits to dating younger men, just as there may be to dating older ones. You just have to make sure that you can come to some kind of level ground when it comes to the major things and be reasonable in your expectations.
Regardless, I feel like there is a tradeoff with everything when it comes to relationships and dating and marriage. Some are less dramatic than others. Some people are the exception to the rule. Just know what you are getting yourself into and know what your dealbreakers are.
There may be benefits to dating younger men, just as there may be to dating older ones. You just have to make sure that you can come to some kind of level ground when it comes to the major things and be reasonable in your expectations.
chocolat79
Well-Known Member
I completely agree. When I was 23, I dated a man who was 37. Everything SEEMED great, but I definitely lost myself. He was naturally opinionated while I am not, then add the age and it was for the best that it didn't work out. But, I had a lot of fun with him and it was not a bad relationship actually. We broke up though, because we really didn't have much in common.
My SO now is 7 years older and he's wonderful. He is one of the best guys I've ever dated. I would definitely do it again, but I also know that age is nothing but a number.
LadyLeoSmile
New Member
I've dated a couple of older men, and the last one totally turned me off the idea, well for a while at least. He was 8 yrs older than I and he acted like my father sometimes. It was crazy because the overbearing attitude/general manliness that attracted me to him at first is what did us in. The last straw was when one day he wanted me to bring him something from his room. Football day, house full of people (mostly his friends), and I'm upstairs talking to his best friend (Who was dating my best friend and one of the best people I've ever met). Here's how it went down:
Ex: (yelling from downstairs) Meeeeks
Me: (in a playful laughing voice) whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Ex: Girl don't what me -- he was serious as a heart attack
his friends downstairs: (hysterical laughter) Well what she sposed to say
Ex: Yes, or huh or something
Me: (wtf look on my face)
Ex: Bring me my (whatever it was) off the dresser in my room
I was so embarrased, and being the type of person I am, I don't do confrontation. So I took it at the time, but later I told him never to do that to me again. I guess that was the straw that broke the camels back because it just slowly went downhill from there. I wasn't the same towards him after that.
So, will I do it again, not right now. I don't know about the future though. And older men appeal to me because of the fact that they normally don't want kids. I have one and don't want anymore.
Ex: (yelling from downstairs) Meeeeks
Me: (in a playful laughing voice) whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Ex: Girl don't what me -- he was serious as a heart attack
his friends downstairs: (hysterical laughter) Well what she sposed to say
Ex: Yes, or huh or something
Me: (wtf look on my face)
Ex: Bring me my (whatever it was) off the dresser in my room
I was so embarrased, and being the type of person I am, I don't do confrontation. So I took it at the time, but later I told him never to do that to me again. I guess that was the straw that broke the camels back because it just slowly went downhill from there. I wasn't the same towards him after that.
So, will I do it again, not right now. I don't know about the future though. And older men appeal to me because of the fact that they normally don't want kids. I have one and don't want anymore.
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