Experiences Dating/Marrying a Mentally Ill Person?

[ThickHair]

I dated a guy who had extreme Narcassistic Personality disorder. I should have ran when he told me that woman don't leave him, he leaves them. That was light weight stuff. I came to my senses within 6 weeks and got out before it turn really wacky. I saw glimpses of his personality and he acted like it was as normal as combing your hair. It was always what everyone else has done to him and for him. He never took any responsibility for what has happened in his life.

He actually believes that some woman made him an epilieptic because she wouldn't stop talking. Negro was dead serious. That was my final straw and I gave him the old "It's me not you story". Then he calls himself telling me off ie breaking up with me.

 

[Supervixen]

perplexederplexed
This thread is more than a little unsettling for someone who actually has a personality disorder.

Wow.

Amanhecer, please do not feel like we are shunning you. If you're willing to share, which PD do you have? How are you dealing with it? How do your romantic relationships go? I think it will give us bits of the other side.

 

[Bunny77]

Amanhecer, please do not feel like we are shunning you. If you're willing to share, which PD do you have? How are you dealing with it? How do your romantic relationships go? I think it will give us bits of the other side.

Piggybacking off this... I also think there can be a big difference in a person's romantic relationships if their disorder is acknowledged and therefore, managed.

It seems that most of the women in this thread were dealing with men who didn't acknowledge that they had a mental illness and weren't being treated for it in any way.

 

[daydreem2876]

perplexederplexed
This thread is more than a little unsettling for someone who actually has a personality disorder.

Wow.

i can understand why you feel that way. But the intentions of this thread is not to attack people with mental illnesses. i think the women on this board tend yo be the most empathetic and supportive group when it come to addressing mental illness.

In my opinion, this thread has been an opportunity to express and support others who are directly on the other side of someone dealing with mental health issues.

 

[ArrrBeee]

I agree with the above posters. This thread is not meant to attack someone with a personality disorder, but serves more as a heads up to behavior that you just can't put a finger on.

 

[Almaz]

Amenhecher:

This is in no way being disparaging of the Mentally ill. These are the experiences that a lot of us went through.

Hopefully people that are reading this and are not posting can learn a few things

1. If you are dealing with a person whether they be a family member a Best Friend or a love interest maybe they can see the signs and get this person help

2. If the situation has become abusive try to find a way out if the other party refuses to get help

3. If someone recognises these traits within themselves maybe that person will seek help so their lives will be better for themselves and those around them.

This is in no way to shun or to disparage but there are people out there like that and they need the help

 

[LovelyRo]

I hope I didn't offend anyone. As I stated before, my mom is bi-polar and I've witnessed her ups and downs all my life... she's also been on meds since I was very young and she sees her therapist on a regular basis. I was speaking of an individual that isn't on meds and hasn't admitted to even having a mental illness... that's not a good sign for an unstable person. I know that even with meds it's still a struggle, but at least they're getting help!

 

[metro_qt]

Piggybacking off this... I also think there can be a big difference in a person's romantic relationships if their disorder is acknowledged and therefore, managed.

It seems that most of the women in this thread were dealing with men who didn't acknowledge that they had a mental illness and weren't being treated for it in any way.

To me,
and you all correct me if i'm wrong,
but it seems like it would be more likely for men to go undiagnosed, because it's "machoness" and "Manliness" that makes them act that way,
while women (not all) are more prone to visiting doctors and inquiring about their health... including mental.

I remember my dad, who would never EVER visit a doctor... he felt that either his body would heal itself, or that whatever was ailing him wasn't that serious anyway...

Now, an undiagnosed mentally ill man in a relationship sounds like a recipe for disaster...

 

[daydreem2876]

To me,
and you all correct me if i'm wrong,
but it seems like it would be more likely for men to go undiagnosed, because it's "machoness" and "Manliness" that makes them act that way,
while women (not all) are more prone to visiting doctors and inquiring about their health... including mental.

I remember my dad, who would never EVER visit a doctor... he felt that either his body would heal itself, or that whatever was ailing him wasn't that serious anyway...

Now, an undiagnosed mentally ill man in a relationship sounds like a recipe for disaster...

I do agree with you to a large extent, but I also think the symptoms often manifest differently in women than in men. From what i have seen, women are not nearly as aggressive, destructive but tend to act out more. Also, bi-polar behavior in women more likely to be explained away by hormones.

 

[metro_qt]

I do agree with you to a large extent, but I also think the symptoms often manifest differently in women than in men. From what i have seen, women are not nearly as aggressive, destructive but tend to act out more. Also, bi-polar behavior in women more likely to be explained away by hormones.

Thank you so much for your insight, as I was just speculating and speaking off the top of my head and in no way an expert in these matters...

 

[Browndilocks]

This is such an interesting thread. I have so much to say but then again I'm speechless.

 

[Browndilocks]

perplexederplexed
This thread is more than a little unsettling for someone who actually has a personality disorder.

Wow.

Do you know that something is wrong with you but refuse to get help? Are you knowingly the source of someone else's emotional distress? That's the only way I can see someone being unsettled by this thread. This is a topic on a specific behavior pattern in a specific relationship setting. People are just comparing notes on their own personal experiences and nobody has been singled out.

 

[Supervixen]

Do you know that something is wrong with you but refuse to get help? Are you knowingly the source of someone else's emotional distress? That's the only way I can see someone being unsettled by this thread. This is a topic on a specific behavior pattern in a specific relationship setting. People are just comparing notes on their own personal experiences and nobody has been singled out.

Ms. Browndilocks, don't go too hard.

I think admitting to a PD to LHCF is a big step. Let's hope that she's getting help since she at least knows she has a PD. I think she was saying it's unsettling because she may have scarred someone in the past. At least, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

ETA: I checked her stats and she's a newbie. She also could've been saying that we went too hard, and could actually hurt another member who has a PD.

 

[Ton 太太]

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[Ton 太太]

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[Supervixen]

bump........................

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

i ain't read all da responses cuz for one, i done ran outta newports and gotta run down to da sto n git some right quick, but befo i go.... i can tell u this briefly and dis hea is my opinion.

hell to da dayum no would i marry or date a man who has a mental disorder...are u kiddin me? omg...bi polar? i ono bout dat. nawww. can't do it. and he gotta take meds? nawww. but one has to wonda if he can get what i call a "nut check" for such disability to supplement income.

and puleez dont have no chirren. see, das why i've said it befo n i'll sait it again. u gotta go pass grandma's n dem house and look thru dem family albums to see what uncle ray ray, aunt letha, and cookie n dem look like and git all da family history cuz sometimes "crazy" can skip a generation. u mess round n have a kid by someone wif a "disorder", den tag, ur it..... ur kid could get da gene....den its a wrap. gotta watch who u mix dna wif....i seen it in my own family..dem some simple phuckas, but das anotha story.

plus, if u start hangin round dem long enuff...shyt yo azzz'll start lookin n actin crazy too....

my $0.02.

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

..................................

 

[ArrrBeee]

Sexually he was a scary man. He had been with prostitutes, sex with minor(that's the kind of thing you tell someone before marriage), a cheater (without condoms) and first class liar and if I took at sleeping pill around him, I always had to worry about waking up with a raw butt or ... , and being told that I wanted it. He tried to get me involved with swingers. He wanted to see me with a dog and ... I wish his family knew how messed up he is sexually. His last request before I got out of it was a golden shower ... for me to do it to him ETA ... NO NO NO ... I never ended up doing the Swinger, dog ... or Shower thing. NOOOOOOOOO. It sometimes felt like my boundaries were constantly being tested and assaulted.
It was as though he had NO impulse control sexually. It SEEMED like he was willing to try anything at least once … ANYTHING … never thinking of the consequences: legally, emotionally, spiritually … just do it, and then think afterwards.

I'm lucky I got out of that so-called legal union without ending up having to take AZT or whatever the drug cocktail is now. I wish I had known all of that about him, before the so-called legal union. There are just some things you tell people before hand. But I had to "check" myself and take some personal responsibility and ask myself if there were warning signs that I missed and/or ignored. And, if so, why was I so blind or where was I at spiritually or emotionally at the time to end up with such a pervert. BUT IT STILL DOES NOT EXCUSE HIS ACTIONS. HE'S SICK!

He would say one thing and then later try to claim that he never said it. Some of his BS was even recorded on the answering machine a “few” times, so I have proof. These kind of people will have your head spinning if you don’t get away from them ASAP! They need help, so they don’t screw up your life and their own life. But unfortunately, sometimes … the ones that are undiagnosed, if you spend too much time with them, you’re the one that ends up on medication just trying to cope with dealing with them and on the outside, because people sometimes don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors, thinks he’s the normal and sane one. Amazing how that works!

He is DEFINATELY undiagnosed. But what all of his diagnosis would be, I don't know. It's not my problem anymore. I just wake up every morning now doing the happy " I'm Free At Last" dance and feeling an incredible amount of gratitude every time I see the beautiful sun in the morning and realize, WOW ... I don't have to waste my day talking to him. My time is MY TIME!

There is someone here that knows everything that degenrate did and has even heard his BS for herself. I do NOT like the "N" word ( you know which N word I'm talking about too), but one day this particular girlfriend of mine said, " There's a Norwegian 'N' in Norway and he isn't black."

I am so glad you got out with your sanity and values in tact.

 

[Bublin]

Just read through the wholen thread and yes, i am/was experiencing the same thing.

I kicked him out just 5 days ago and i'm
Not going to look back. I swear the devil is in the man.

What kind of illness makes u want to rain such terror on another human being?

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

Just read through the wholen thread and yes, i am/was experiencing the same thing.

I kicked him out just 5 days ago and i'm
Not going to look back. I swear the devil is in the man.

What kind of illness makes u want to rain such terror on another human being?

I'm glad that your intent is to not turn or look back!

 

[LunadeMiel]

I dated a guy for 3 months who I believe was bipolar. I found a prescription of Abillify in his medicine cabinet and when I asked him about it he said it was for depression. The thing is, he was taking the highest dosage available (which is usually prescribe manic depressives)....

 

[Enyo]

Hmm.

That's all I'm going to say.

 

[Skyfall]

Hmm.

That's all I'm going to say.

no uh!not so fast.. what is it?

 

[Mortons]

I have a mental illness, so yes I would. I wouldn't demonize them either.

 

[Skyfall]

I have a mental illness, so yes I would. I wouldn't demonize them either.

but see there's a different in admitting you do, these men don't think they do and wreak havoc in people's lives, what are we supposed to, stay with him until he realises he has a problem?

I would date a guy, if he knew of his illness and was being treated for it and basically if I could handle it.
I don't think I would be able to handle frequent suicidal episodes and constant drastic mood swings. I don't look down on ppl that do, I was depressed and suicidal, but I admitted it and didnt try to con men into staying with me by pretending everything was fine destroying their lives.

 

[Mortons]

but see there's a different in admitting you do, these men don't think they do and wreak havoc in people's lives, what are we supposed to, stay with him until he realises he has a problem?

I would date a guy, if he knew of his illness and was being treated for it and basically if I could handle it.
I don't think I would be able to handle frequent suicidal episodes and constant drastic mood swings. I don't look down on ppl that do, I was depressed and suicidal, but I admitted it and didnt try to con men into staying with me by pretending everything was fine destroying their lives.

No one is required to do anything Everyone may do exactly as they please

 

[Skyfall]

No one is required to do anything Everyone may do exactly as they please

hmm never knew I had an option...

 

[Supervixen]

but see there's a different in admitting you do, these men don't think they do and wreak havoc in people's lives, what are we supposed to, stay with him until he realises he has a problem?

I would date a guy, if he knew of his illness and was being treated for it and basically if I could handle it.
I don't think I would be able to handle frequent suicidal episodes and constant drastic mood swings. I don't look down on ppl that do, I was depressed and suicidal, but I admitted it and didnt try to con men into staying with me by pretending everything was fine destroying their lives.

I totally agree with this. If you know you have a mental illness and are vigilant about being treated for it, and you stay on your meds, cool. The UNDIAGNOSED are the ones that I am weary of.

 

[Shinka]

i ain't read all da responses cuz for one, i done ran outta newports and gotta run down to da sto n git some right quick, but befo i go.... i can tell u this briefly and dis hea is my opinion.

hell to da dayum no would i marry or date a man who has a mental disorder...are u kiddin me? omg...bi polar? i ono bout dat. nawww. can't do it. and he gotta take meds? nawww. but one has to wonda if he can get what i call a "nut check" for such disability to supplement income.

and puleez dont have no chirren. see, das why i've said it befo n i'll sait it again. u gotta go pass grandma's n dem house and look thru dem family albums to see what uncle ray ray, aunt letha, and cookie n dem look like and git all da family history cuz sometimes "crazy" can skip a generation. u mess round n have a kid by someone wif a "disorder", den tag, ur it..... ur kid could get da gene....den its a wrap. gotta watch who u mix dna wif....i seen it in my own family..dem some simple phuckas, but das anotha story.

plus, if u start hangin round dem long enuff...shyt yo azzz'll start lookin n actin crazy too....

my $0.02.

I hope this is a joke....seriously. That's like basically saying most physically and mentally disabled people don't deserve companionship because of their genetic makeup.

I am not trying to dismiss the experiences of the women here and have personally experience the "reality" of mental illness from both side of the coins.