Is anyone else afraid of getting older?

[aribell]

^^^ Gosh, you could not pay me to be 18 years old again! Maybe 22, but even so, prob'ly not. I think the only people who feel that way (like they want to go back to a certain age) are those who are discontent with the choices that they've made and want a do-over. A lady at my job was talking about how great it would be to be 25 again, but from my perspective, there's so much uncertainty at this point--everything is a question mark. I think if you could go back with all the insight and wisdom of older age, then reliving youth might be fun; but otherwise, just enjoying the present for what it is, using wisdom, and embracing the future is the way to build a life without regrets.

 

[Imani]

.......................

 

[Nina_deF]

^^^ Gosh, you could not pay me to be 18 years old again! Maybe 22, but even so, prob'ly not. I think the only people who feel that way (like they want to go back to a certain age) are those who are discontent with the choices that they've made and want a do-over. A lady at my job was talking about how great it would be to be 25 again, but from my perspective, there's so much uncertainty at this point--everything is a question mark. I think if you could go back with all the insight and wisdom of older age, then reliving youth might be fun; but otherwise, just enjoying the present for what it is, using wisdom, and embracing the future is the way to build a life without regrets.

I hear ya!

Sometimes I think that it would be fun to relive a weekend from my early 20's, just to party hardy alll night n day but then I would want to come right back where I am now.

I'm so much more secure with myself
I understand myself so much more
I accept myself so much more
I have so much more bank
My body is still banging.... or at least getting there

Life at 40+ is goooood!

 

[RossBoss]

Isn't getting older one of the curses that God put on the human race because of Adam and Eve? Weren't humans (Adam and Eve) promised eternal youth/eternal life but after the Apple incident we began to age and die? If this is the case, I don't understand how what began as a curse is now a good thing. lol.

 

[janda]

Getting old doesn't have to bad ( especially when you consider the alternative). After my grandfather died, my grandmother had male suitors well into her 90's. She looked good until the day she died.

 

[TrueBeliever]

Really? So the body of a 70 year old is "better" than that of a 30 year old? Really?

Depends on what the 30 year old is doing to take care of herself and what the 70 year old did when she was 30.

Aging a is blessing since the alternative is death and tomorrow is not promised.

 

[HauteHippie]

Nope, I'm not afraid of getting older. It's the alternative I'd rather not deal with for quite some time. I believe there is beauty in each stage, a lot of which comes from inside and how you carry yourself. I also lead an active, healthy lifestyle, so I'm not worried about health issues so much. If they arise, they'll be caught early (I hope!).

Also, I'll see something graceful or elegant and think, "Ooh, when I'm __ age, I'll wear that," or wear my hair like this or flaunt XYZ shoes and bags. I think one of the most outwardly aging thing a person can do is try to look young in clothing or style and/or wear clothing that doesn't fit. Another thing that ages women is our choice of lipstick. Why wear the same "signature" lipstick you wore in the 80s? Yes, the shade will come back around and be in again, but what about all the in between time?

 

[RossBoss]

Depends on what the 30 year old is doing to take care of herself and what the 70 year old did when she was 30.

Aging a is blessing since the alternative is death and tomorrow is not promised.

Okay let's say that both the 30 year old and 70 year old took good care of themselves (good diet, regular exercise, enough sleep, etc..), which would be the better body? I can't believe this is even up for debate. lol..There is a reason why at 80/90 you've "fallen and can't get up" whereas when you are younger, you can easily pick yourself up from a tumble.

 

[Imani]

Getting old doesn't have to bad ( especially when you consider the alternative). After my grandfather died, my grandmother had male suitors well into her 90's. She looked good until the day she died.

Yes, my grandmother (widowed) remarried in her sixties to a very nice, kind man.

 

[Imani]

Nope, I'm not afraid of getting older. It's the alternative I'd rather not deal with for quite some time. I believe there is beauty in each stage, a lot of which comes from inside and how you carry yourself. I also lead an active, healthy lifestyle, so I'm not worried about health issues so much. If they arise, they'll be caught early (I hope!).

Also, I'll see something graceful or elegant and think, "Ooh, when I'm __ age, I'll wear that," or wear my hair like this or flaunt XYZ shoes and bags. I think one of the most outwardly aging thing a person can do is try to look young in clothing or style and/or wear clothing that doesn't fit. Another thing that ages women is our choice of lipstick. Why wear the same "signature" lipstick you wore in the 80s? Yes, the shade will come back around and be in again, but what about all the in between time?

Absolutely. I'm from a very small/rural area and so many older women just let themselves go around here. I visit Atlanta a lot and I always see the jazziest older ladies out of all races. I mean, just classy and sophisticated, dressed the nines and looking good. I'm like, now THATS how I want to look when I get older.

 

[HauteHippie]

I'm actually really looking forward to my 30s. For some reason I think they are going to be the bomb.com. Looking good, having my money on point, having my head on straight, being more confident, and loving life.

Early twenties/undergrad was lots of fun. But mid/late 20s for me and most of my friends has been very confusing and stressful; just trying to figure it all out, discover who you really are, getting ur ish together, etc. Almost everyone I know is having or has had a quarter-life crisis, lol.

Yep, I agree with what Nicola.Kirwin said, too. I turned 25 in the fall and everything has a question mark on the end of it. New degree, new city, new friends, new job, same old economy that scared me last year. New job, new city again, big question mark. I won't even date seriously until there are more !s and .s, instead of ?s.

I've had a lot of adult life experience. I always felt like I was catapulted into being an adult early, made the best of it, and enjoyed the confidence that came along with good decision making and great experiences. I hadn't anticipated the confidence questioning mid-twenties. It's still major decision making time.

I've almost always equated getting older with gaining more freedom and control over your own life. I looked @ 32 the way my friends looked @ 21. 32 will be golden. When my Gma turned 90, I said, "Okay, NOW you can be old." The way women in my family age, old is nothing but a point when you stop experiencing life.

 

[Carrie A]

Okay let's say that both the 30 year old and 70 year old took good care of themselves (good diet, regular exercise, enough sleep, etc..), which would be the better body? I can't believe this is even up for debate. lol..There is a reason why at 80/90 you've "fallen and can't get up" whereas when you are younger, you can easily pick yourself up from a tumble.

Ok I see you're determined. You know not everybody has the same belief about the origins of man and the whys of aging. Every species that I'm aware of has a life cycle and aging and death is a part of it. But since we can't go back in time and have a do over with God, why go through life feeling doomed about the aging process. (Shrug) You can maximize the quality of your twilight years through what you do right now.

 

[RODI]

It's not the getting older I worry about, it's the way I will look. I have always looked young for my age, so now I worry that I am starting to look my age. I think there is some truth to older men wanting a younger woman, but it is for all the wrong reasons. I have a cousin who is 41 and all he wants is a woman in her early 20's who has never had children, has the perfect figure and never traveled anywhere. He wants all of her first experiences (travel, etc..) to be with him. I think that will make him feel good for a little while, but for the long term...I just don't know.

My problem with older men like that is why would they think younger women would want them. I believe you should have to offer exactly want your are looking for. If he don't have youth to offer why look for it in a partner. When I was in my 20's, older men would irk me when they came on to me. I would be like find someone your own age ugh.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

Nope cuz I thought I would die at the age of 30, or maybe I wished it... erplexed... Either way I am living my life NOW, not in future or pat, and like another poster, FEAR, ha, I laugh at FEAR....

To God be all the Glory with resolving issues like this of the heart...

 

[JFemme]

Nope..

I was thinking bout this very topic early this morning. This nation is obsessed with denying death.erplexed

We can talk about everything under the sun but AGING...erplexed

(not too include the pursuit of staying "youthful") ya know PC topics and such...erplexed

 

[JFemme]

A lot of cultures do appreciate older women because they are not a threat sometimes it is because they are older and know things

But even some other societies people still crave younger women.

In America everything is so centered around youth. There is allure about being young anyway. But once the bloom is off the rose most of these people dont' have substance. Cause it is a terrible thing to see older women who have always gotten by on their looks and youth now older and cannot say for instance pull a man like before or keep a man or use her looks to get things. Cause pretty young people lets face it sometimes gets a slide. EVERY day in the world some young girl is turning 18 and another on is turning 21. Hell they are looking at you at 24 thinking that YOU are old. I remember when I was like 16 and I thought my 25 year old cousin was OLD.

Look at the TV and the magazines for plastic surgery working out until you are a size negative zero. Older women trying to act and dress like their daughters Pathetic. With Daffy duck lips and skin strecthed to the max.

Older women walking around in leggings and Yoga pants

IM SORRY when I can see you labia minora and your Labia Majora and you are fully clothed PLEASE go home and change. Moose knuckles and Camel toes are not fashion

It sends a message to younger women that getting old is bad. I makes older women feel like getting older is bad. It isn't it is life. LIfe your life to the fullest each and everyday.

THE orgasms get better with age It just seems like to some people when a women hits 40 her life is supposed to stop. and Sex is only for the young.

It sickens me to see older men running after young and VERY young girls because they are too insecure to find someone age appropriate.Cause they feel the need to have someone look up to them. Or they feel that they can take advantage of younger women because they have been around the block but I have seen in my day younger women that gave older men hell and left them broke busted and disgusted. Just becasue she young she is not necessarly stupid or naive cause she probably had some older chick under her wings like me saying NAW Baby don't believe that man he is talking mess. He is just trying to run game on you

Here is what you do for that>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

But that is okay

But when a older woman is with a younger man people are all up in arms about it.

Don't even sweat it. Embrace the age that you are in.

I remember many years ago my DH joked that it was time to trade me up for a younger model.I said OKAY

Then I will find me a younger man better looking with a bigger Dykc. AND MO MONEY THAN YOU

He was like

He was like with the confidence you have you probably would too. I am like TRUST. OKAY TRUST.

If you keep living you are going to get older there are things about getting older that are not pleasant but LIVE baby LIVE.

TAKE care of YOU.
Handle your money and your business
Build your credit
Save your money
Get as much education as you possibly can
BE careful who you marry lay down and have children with.
Travel and see the world as much as you can.
Develop a character and confidence Humbly that NO man or women can match.
Be true to yourself.
Dont' let anyone steal your dreams
BE around exciting women who want to do exciting things

BE like my friend Patricia Laplante-Collins here is a women that moved from Atlanta to Paris back in 1987. OH yeah she had a few I hate to overuse the word "Haters" but she made it and now she is like one of the most popular society women in the Ex-pat community. Yeah now let admite that she came from one of those Talented Tenth families in Atlanta she could have just stayed there and lived her life married to a minister or someone in her community but she chucked it all and took a chance to move to Paris. Oh Patricia but you are OLDER WHY would you want to do something like that. WHY not. Oh you will be back. WELL 22 years later she is STILL there happily doing her things as an OLDER women. She did not sit back as some people would hope and let the world go by she grabbed life by the balls and made it coptiulate the HER whims.

Paris Soirees, About Patricia


This is the time to since you are 24 to make the right decisions in your life so you will have few regrets so I won't see another thread talking about the wrong life choices one has made.

There is NOTHING wrong with getting older and believe me Men like that are nasty. They just want one of 2 things

They screwed up their lives and they are looking for someone to take care of them.

Also they looking for someone to take care of them because THEY are getting older too. Men are just as insecure about getting older as women but society will give them a pass so you CAN look like the Crypt Keeper and have a 24 yo on your arm.

You don't want to die right now and that is the only solution they have right now for not aging. Not unless they could come up with some star treak stuff. And white folks would be on that like Stink on Doo Doo talking about see with this new method I am 78 but I look 48 so I am like a black woman also. I don't crack either. Oh what is your secret Oh I can't tell you. Cause YOU black lady are 98 you look 60 and with this new method that I can't tell you about you will look 24. NOOOOO I can't have you win NOOOOO.

YOU are the architect of your destiny
Make your life a masterpiece.

With much love

From an Older woman

Almaz

Wow, amazing post Almaz!!!!

love it !!!!!

 

[Kash]

Why are you worrying about something you can't change? You're going to die or get older. There is no third option so there's no need worrying yourself about it. And if you pick the right man he will love your wrinked up self even more. My parents have been married over 50 years and my Dad is still about my mother. Poor lovestruck man runs around doing her bidding 24/7 Please don't put another iota of your energy into this thinking because it's pointless and potentially destructive.

Yep yep! I never understood the stupidity of worrying about something that I have no control over. If you don't want to get old then die young and be done with it. Case closed!

 

[ebonylocs]

I'm not in love with the idea of aging. But then I don't care for the idea of dying young, either, so *shrug* What can you do?

If I were able to go back, I would go back to 16. Not to be young again, but to be able to do a few things differently.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Yes, why doesn't our society embrace older women like other cultures?

Because we tend to be selfish. And our society has not encouraged (or taught) the younger ones to show respect to their elders.

*sigh* That's pretty much it in a nutshell.

Why are you worrying about something you can't change? You're going to die or get older. There is no third option so there's no need worrying yourself about it. And if you pick the right man he will love your wrinked up self even more. My parents have been married over 50 years and my Dad is still about my mother. Poor lovestruck man runs around doing her bidding 24/7 Please don't put another iota of your energy into this thinking because it's pointless and potentially destructive.

^^Can't thank you enough for this!

I don't see the point in worrying about something you alone don't have the ability to change.

I wasted SOOO much time in my mid-20's worrying so much about what could happen, or WHY things were a certain way, and I found myself wasting my life away! Let whatever is going to happen...HAPPEN.. But in the meantime, just live your life, enjoy it while you can, and stop wasting your headspace with things outside of your control.

 

[newme2003]

Before I turned 40 (April) I always said I wasn't worried about it. It's a normal progression and there is nothing I could do about it. I was just going to take it in stride. Well along came my birthday and the feeling of being out of my 30's hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt old. But then it took me about a week to get over that. I am in the company of some great women. I not only look at some of the fabulous celebrities who are in their 40's but some of the women around me who have their stuff together.

From a relationship standpoint, I am not worried about the possibility of my husband wanting a younger woman. He has a damn good woman now and I am sure he knows it. BUT, if he did choose to go for a younger woman so be it. I don't need him or any man to validate me. I would do just fine on my own. Seriously.

 

[Syrah]

I don't fear getting older. To be completely honest, I fear what having children will do to my body. I will be in my 30's when I have kids, and I worry about that.

 

[TrueBeliever]

Okay let's say that both the 30 year old and 70 year old took good care of themselves (good diet, regular exercise, enough sleep, etc..), which would be the better body? I can't believe this is even up for debate. lol..There is a reason why at 80/90 you've "fallen and can't get up" whereas when you are younger, you can easily pick yourself up from a tumble.

Ah, I missed this post.

They'd be about equal because it's not a guarantee that the 30 year old will live to be 70.
Like anything, taking an interest in health is an investment with good returns that are not guaranteed but very probable.
The goal is not to fall at ANY age. At 30 you might not be able to get up either.
Speaking aesthetically, that is individual. The way young black women take care of themselves these days; their bodies look bad for any age.

 

[ebonylocs]

They'd be about equal because it's not a guarantee that the 30 year old will live to be 70. .

That's a good way of looking at it.

 

[FeelinIt]

Ever since i turned the age i am now, which is 24, i am so scared to get older!! Today, this 44 year old man told me that men his age would love to have a woman my age. This scares me for when i get older. When i'm 40, I don't want my future man/husband wishing he had a younger women. You guys i am just so scared of getting old!! Does anyone else feel this way?

There's always a way to stay young forever.....die young....


I know harsh BUT the only real problem I have with getting older are the physical changes. That ish pisses me off. I hate feeling old. Feeling like you are dissappearing from the world and you are no longer relevant....like VHS tapes and CD players...LOL

People start calling you "old" at 27 and your sane mind is saying that's Bull but your other side is believing it....

 

[FeelinIt]

Hey it can be done.

YouTube - Ernestine Shepherd: Building a Better Body at Any Age - CBN.com

I bet her body is better than mine. Have you seen the 30 year olds walking around as of late. We are a lazy overweight bunch!

 

[Britt]

I don't fear getting older. To be completely honest, I fear what having children will do to my body. I will be in my 30's when I have kids, and I worry about that.

Same here...
I also sometimes feel like i'm 'running out of time' b/c I don't want to be mid 30s just getting married and then starting a family a few years after that. I'd love to see myself married in the next 1.5 truthfully. I don't want anymore relationships that's not heading towards that direction.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Yes, why doesn't our society embrace older women like other cultures?

I'm moving to Paris when I get older.

On a more positive note... I find that women that maintain a youthfulness about themselves...body fit-tight-firm, skin clear, hair done, teeth straight and white, dress classy, and positive attitude are always desirable.

 

[Misseyl]

No I'm not afraid of getting older because being older means I have lived. I don't want to die particularly young, or as my Mom use to say "I pray to god that I live long enough to see you pass the worst". Now that I'm a Mom I know exactly what she means. So if I have anything to do with it, I intend to live a very long time.

 

[JFemme]

Yes, why doesn't our society embrace older women like other cultures?

b/c we fear women in possession of themselves...

 

[Papoose]

Same here...
I also sometimes feel like i'm 'running out of time' b/c I don't want to be mid 30s just getting married and then starting a family a few years after that. I'd love to see myself married in the next 1.5 truthfully. I don't want anymore relationships that's not heading towards that direction.

My mom always reminds me of one of my grandma's sayings,"Baby, you're not getting older...you're getting better." Keep that in mind as you continue through this journey called life. You'll be fine. Tomorrow's not promised to any of us, so you might as well enjoy every moment.

I'm 32 now, unmarried with no children and I'm not upset about it. Sure, I thought I'd at least be married by now, but that wasn't a part of my plan. When older women used to tell me that 30s are better than 20s, I doubted it. Now I'm a believer. When you hit your 30s, you focus more on pleasing yourself and fulfilling your dreams. You will be comfortable in your skin and have a better sense of who you are. I have enjoyed my single years and I think I'll be a better wife and parent when the time comes. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to live my life to the fullest.