Experiences Dating/Marrying a Mentally Ill Person?

[Lola28]

"I'm sure some of you reading are judging, but it can happen to the best of us."

Believe me I think a lot of us who are reading aren't thinking that. I'm thinking this explains a lot of dudes behavior. You know when we ask ourselves why is he doing this and that? Well it's because he's crazy. And not funny crazy but mentally ill crazy(and I do mean it in a bad way).I know about 3or4 ladies dealing with mentally unstable "men". Before I would say emotionally unstable but after my psych class a couple of semesters ago,I learned all about the personality disorders. And they are certifiable. And I wouldn't judge any of you. But I will give thanks to our Heavenly Father that you guys saw the light and removed yourselves from those situations.

 

[Supervixen]

I've been there. Ex would be nice and normal and then out of the blue be cursing and knocking things down. We would go out and have a good time , come home and the next morning he would give me the silent treatment. At first I would drive myself crazy trying to figure out what was wrong until I realized it was a game he was playing with my emotions. Everything was my fault, including when his ex took him to court for child support. He came home and threw things around the hose and called me names. The weird thing was he would deny this things and act liked it never happened. Even worse he would claim I was the one cursing and screaming. It makes me angry all over again just thinking about it. He was always craving female attention, but bascially used to ignore me. Run as fast as you can if you meet someone like this.

THIS IS A CLASSIC example of the that dude I used to date.

 

[Supervixen]

Lucky for you all that you didn't marry your SOs. I did!
Not only was he just like the man that Crystalicequeen dated but he went off to war and came back drinking and cursing (he never did either of these things before he left). He told me how much he hated the war and would never go back. Only to turn around and go right back by choice.

I'm currently in the midst of a divorce from him. He had me going crazy plenty of times, afraid to confront situations so I could avoid the drama, second-guessing whether or not the sky was really blue cuz he convinced me that I was crazy because it was really green while all the while I was looking at a blue sky.
Not really but that crazy sentence describes our crazy marriage. Our good times were great our bad times were devastating. We went to counselor and he showed her his true colors as well. The rest of the world sees him as perfect


How do you distinguish between an emotionally abusive man, a player, and a mentally ill SO?

Great question; I'm thinking they go hand-in-hand. I'm interested in others' thoughts about this.

 

[stormy07]

the last man I dated...long story short he was abused mentally, physically and sexually as a child and while he was the sweetest kindest man at times he was also a very manipulative little boy who absolutely refuses to get help for his problems....I do think he does have a mental illness that will probably unfortunately never be resolved....it scarred the hell out of me because I lost myself helping him and then when he start maniuplating me he hurt me very badly and I already had some issues myself from my luverly father...soooooo yeah not a pretty picture and I really dont' see myself truly dating or trusting someone for a very long time.... I tried to have compassion at first but right now I still have alot of anger because he has had opportunities to get help and he refuses to do it and it's just....ergh... It took me over 4 months the last time to completely get out of it.... and I've had to cut all contact with him and his sister...I miss him terribly but it's the only way to heal...

 

[daydreem2876]

How do you distinguish between an emotionally abusive man, a player, and a mentally ill SO?

Looking back at the situation, IMHO, it takes far too long to determine what the deal is. And really.... If I have have to ask that question about a man, that is my cue to KEEP IT MOVIN'

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Wow...this thread is EYE-opening!

I didn't know so many of us ladies have encountered some men who were not 100% well mentally. This is very encouraging and cathartic to just let this stuff out.

Lucky for you all that you didn't marry your SOs. I did!
Not only was he just like the man that Crystalicequeen dated but he went off to war and came back drinking and cursing (he never did either of these things before he left). He told me how much he hated the war and would never go back. Only to turn around and go right back by choice.

I'm currently in the midst of a divorce from him. He had me going crazy plenty of times, afraid to confront situations so I could avoid the drama, second-guessing whether or not the sky was really blue cuz he convinced me that I was crazy because it was really green while all the while I was looking at a blue sky.
Not really but that crazy sentence describes our crazy marriage. Our good times were great our bad times were devastating. We went to counselor and he showed her his true colors as well. The rest of the world sees him as perfect


How do you distinguish between an emotionally abusive man, a player, and a mentally ill SO?

Now that is a very good question!! Ha! Trust me, I have asked myself the same question over and over and over again!! I think emotional abuse and mental illness go hand-in-hand most definitely. If a man (or ANY person for that matter) is being emotionally abusive towards you (ignoring you on purpose, witholding affection or attention in order to "teach you a lesson", being emotionally and/or physically "distant", up & down with the emotions, etc) then more than likely, this person has SOME type of mental illness. It could be as simple and as common as depression, or it could be something deeper like bi-polar disorder, narccisisstic personality disorder, or borderline personality disorder, etc.

A "player" is a little different. A guy who is a "player" is not necessarily mentally "ill". But I'm sure there are mentally ill guys who are also players.

The guy I knew was definitely emotionally abusive. I think he's been emotionally-abusive with every woman he has been close to romantically. I know the way he would treat me, and I saw how he would treat other women who he was interested in. He also had a strong jealousy streak! Wow!! If he saw another guy flirting with me, he'd be quick to come by my side and lure me away. He would get moody if another guy seemed interested in me. Just sooo many things happened. It was crazy. These guys are going to eventually show you their "other" side if you get close enough to them. I don't think these guys can help it! People that don't know them closely probably think that they are the sweetest, greatest guys in the world. But those of us who know them closely know the truth!

I think I temporarily went a little "crazy" myself dealing with my "ex". I have sooo many books on relationships and emotionally unavailable men and why men don't commit etc that I could probably start my own book store! lol! Plus, I would get soooo down and depressed if he would treat me a certain way. Most of it was him, but I also know that part of it was due to my own relationship with my distant father as a child. My "ex's" mother is a little on the "distant" side too, which is why I think he craved female attention so much, but yet pushed away women who genuinely actually LIKED him and were nice for him. Sometimes you gravitate towards things in your romantic life that remind you of your past childhood life. They say that history likes to repeat itself. Boy I used to analyze him to death!! Not anymore! Those days are OVER!

Thank goodness most of those dark days are over. It's still hard though some days, but at least it looks like the worst is over.

"I'm sure some of you reading are judging, but it can happen to the best of us."

Believe me I think a lot of us who are reading aren't thinking that. I'm thinking this explains a lot of dudes behavior. You know when we ask ourselves why is he doing this and that? Well it's because he's crazy. And not funny crazy but mentally ill crazy(and I do mean it in a bad way).I know about 3or4 ladies dealing with mentally unstable "men". Before I would say emotionally unstable but after my psych class a couple of semesters ago,I learned all about the personality disorders. And they are certifiable. And I wouldn't judge any of you. But I will give thanks to our Heavenly Father that you guys saw the light and removed yourselves from those situations.

Thanks for your input. Especially the part in bold.

Yeah, I'm beginning to think that more and more people may suffer from bi-polar disorder (or some form of mental illness) than we realize!! I mean, I'm not one to diagnose, but since I was a psych major I've read a LOT about mental illnesses, so I know what to watch out for. Sometimes there isn't a logical explanation for why someone is acting the way they are other than the fact that they're "crazy"!! Sometimes though, the ones who are functioning "crazies" are more dangerous than the ones who are locked up in straight jackets in an assylum somewhere!

 

[Almaz]

When I was dating in Israel I went out with a guy that showed his true colours when I would not have sex with him on the first date. Mind you we are Orthodox Jews and we went for coffee he knew the rules. But when I declined he called me every type of B and Garden tool you could think of.

then the NEXT day he called and profusely apologised. Then when he asked me out again I polietely declined and then he went into this massive Tirade telling me to shut the F up you B and whatnot. How dare you refuse me do you KNOW who I am type of ish I asked him was he done then I told him to kick rocks and don't ever call me again. Click

This Idiot had the NERVE to go to my Mother and both sets of Grandparents and ask for my hand in marriage with his parents there too. Telling them the fabulous lifestyle he could give me. That I never had to work again he alwasy promised to be faithful and would make sure our children are all highly educated and secure with the top Private Jewish Schools. Saying that he would build a lovely home in Highland Park, Illinois since he lived in that area and I have lots of family there anyway. How he hobnobed with the rich and famous bought bling from him. How I would NEVER EVER had to deal with co-workers beckys bobs or working EVER again. Frequent trips to Israel and Europe with homes in Tel Aviv and Brussels (Diamond Hubs) How religious he was and how life would be sooooo grand for me. Fabulous Shabbat lunches and dinner. Great holidays spent in Israel. His parents were like to my mother yeah you have a Great daughter that has a great repuation in the community. Spotless. Our families are in the same business Blah Blah and she is a PERFECT match for our son. I was just finishing High school going into the army and he said that he would pay for my college and presented my mother with a fat check

I had already tipped them to the 411. My mother was like if you EVER come near my child and talk to her in such a manner again I will KILLLLLL YOU and wipe out your entire family. And all 4'8 of her meant that. My grandparents were like Yeah Mariam we got your back.

Well a year later he did get married and a few years after that when I married and moved to the Chicago area I was volunteering at the Shalva Home which is a battered women's shelter for Orthodox Jewish women and his wife came in all battered. But see this dude knew that we don't wear revealing attire so you never saw the bruises until she lifes up her skirt and long sleeved blouse. We are talking broken bones that healed badly cigaratte burns but never in the face.

This man was beating her six ways from the Sabbath. He was in the Diamond Business so his family has tons of Cash and he was nice looking the wife told me how the whole family was a whack job and she was itching to get out of this situation. Well she moved back to Brooklyn to be with her family and he tried to take the children away.

She told me that he was in a Mental hospital a few times but the family kept everything on the low low. That one time he threatened to kill his mother with a knife and he punched his father in the face on time and almost beat his brother into a coma. I asked her Why. She told me................................................................................

Because he did not like the way a certain dish was prepared so he went off. She also told me how he would be so charming when guests are around like a Jekyll and turn into my Hyde when they were alone. She told me about repeated Anal rapes and forced sex. She told me he forced her to have sex when her newborn was less than 3 days old. I guess the 6 weeks rule did not work for him. She told me how he would repeatedly call her a whore when she was tired from taking care of her children she was too tired to have sex so obviously she is having sex with other men. Then she busted out that he gave her gonnereah because whenever he travelled for business he would frequent prostitutes but yet when they divorced he was telling the Rabbis that she was having affairs. I tipped the Rabbis as to what was up because I know that he was not going to give her a GET(Jewish Divorce Decree) and that would make her life misable. Because without that she would not be able to remarry in the Jewish faith and if she did the marriage would not be recognised and her children that she had with her next husband would be a Mamzerim(Bastards) not able to marry another Jew. I told the Rabbis Everything and they decided that if you want to do this all you business will be out on front street. The father tried to pay the Rabbis off but they were like Naw is aight when I told them what really happened. He was like she is in Israel visiting her family then she walked through the door and told them EVERYTHING.

He got married again because he gots money and on paper he is all that and the same thing happened again. But now he tells everyone his wife is in Israel visiting her family. And I am looking at him like MAN I know you wife is in the shelter but I cannot say that because of the anonimoty of the shelter you don't know who works there so I could not say anything but I am looking in his face as he is telling a bold face lie.

But because he comes from such a rich and prominent family in our community everyone BELIEVES his lies and mess.

At first I was entranched by the money that I could have had access too and the props of being Mrs. Blah Blah who married into the illustrious Blah Blah family but man I am so glad that I listened to my gut when he turned into chuckles the clown. Cause he would have been dead and I would have been giving big Bertha a beat down for trying to mess with me. For real.

Like I said on paper but in real life Whoa and to make it worse his famiy enables him. So he is a clown and they let him be.

He would have been DEAD clown if he ever tried to lay a hand on me. Like James Brown said I dont' know Karate but I know Crazy.

And this man was supposed to be SOOOOOOO fregggin religious so you never know.

What may look good to you may not always be good for you

 

[TeeWhyAre]

he went off to war and came back drinking and cursing (he never did either of these things before he left). He told me how much he hated the war and would never go back. Only to turn around and go right back by choice.

This sounds like the movie The Hurt Locker. Kinda about why they go back. My ex is going to Afghanistan in October. He volunteered also

 

[TeeWhyAre]

He would call me names, ignore my calls, break up with me then the next week call me back like nothing happened. Then if I asked about it, he would act like I was actually crazy and making things up or he would make up some lie.

Giiiiirrrrllllll... My situation was similar but I'd break up w/ him & he'd call me like it never happened. It was so weird. It was long distance and One day I just stopped answering his calls, shut down my fb, unfortunately he knew my friends and would try to contact them and I cut them out as well bcuz they thought they were being helpful by giving him info on me. I'm actually JUST getting back into normal online life. I even used a completely new screen name here. I have no idea why GeeLove. But it's a shame I had to change even my online names.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

When I was dating in Israel I went out with a guy that showed his true colours when I would not have sex with him on the first date. Mind you we are Orthodox Jews and we went for coffee he knew the rules. But when I declined he called me every type of B and Garden tool you could think of.

Woooooowwww.... Omg... Thank GOODNESS you did not get yourself involved with this nutjob Almaz.

Now days I'm really starting to put into practice the saying: "When people show you who they are, believe them the FIRST time."

 

[LovelyRo]

How do you distinguish between an emotionally abusive man, a player, and a mentally ill SO?

...............................

 

[Supervixen]

IMO a Mentally Ill SO will be emotionally abusive and a player however, the other characteristics will be what actually makes them mentally ill. Just thinking back on my ex he would offen say that his mind races so much that he can't focus on anything. There were countless sleepless nights. There were times when he would lay in the bed just shaking because he was worrying about something. His life goals were extremely optimistic and not to rain on anyone's parade but they were unrealistic especially seeing as though he did NOTHING to make them happen. Then he would blame me for not motivating him...erplexed! His most recent thing was that I wasn't on his team.... My response to him was that I AM the TEAM!!! It was unreal! Everything was about him and what he wanted and how he wanted it. He went days without eating. Like I said before he stayed high... I guess it slowed his mind down some. Also if their mind isn't right and they can't focus of course it's going to be hard for them to focus on one relationship. It's amazing what I just discovered and it was in my face for 9 months!!!

Mine would tell me, "if you ain't with me, you're against me" all the time. What?! I don't agree with you, so I'm against you. That used to hurt me because I couldn't understand how he thought I was against him.

 

[LovelyRo]

^ I got that too. He asked me why I had to go against everything he said. And honestly I didn't... He only seemed to pay attention to when I didn't agree with him! It was crazy!!!

 

[Almaz]

Again it seems like these guy are not only mental they are sociopaths they know how to charm people with they wit and humour. Cause again this guy that I was talking about is good looking with everything right on paper but behind closed doors this man was a luntic and the thing that kills me is his mama that put up with that mess and she was still going around trying to find a Good wife for him. Knowing that her son could potentially kill someone one day. I mean was she in Complete denial as to the behaviour of her child. Did she not care about the other lives that she has put in ruin because of his behaviour. She is not thinking of the Grandchildren that she will never see again because of the way she had let her child slide into adulthood without help.

This man should not have married anyone he needed to stay single. I was wondering why his family was in such a rush to get married. The other 2 women that he married too were from poor families and their parents were like YEAH gravy train and our daughter has a secure life. Without thinking of the outcome you have to do your detective work and to see what was going on but again by looking at him and his family you think WOWWWWW I got it made.

Its not easy to discern

 

[SvelteVelvet]

So true @ Almaz sociopaths is a very good description for these men. Never accepting or dealing with their issues and problems, just turning on the charm and attracting more victims and going through the same cycle. These men need their own special institution to get locked up in.

 

[LovelyRo]

So true @ Almaz sociopaths is a very good description for these men. Never accepting or dealing with their issues and problems, just turning on the charm and attracting more victims and going through the same cycle. These men need their own special institution to get locked up in.

....................................

 

[daydreem2876]

Again it seems like these guy are not only mental they are sociopaths they know how to charm people with they wit and humour. Cause again this guy that I was talking about is good looking with everything right on paper but behind closed doors this man was a luntic and the thing that kills me is his mama that put up with that mess and she was still going around trying to find a Good wife for him. Knowing that her son could potentially kill someone one day. I mean was she in Complete denial as to the behaviour of her child. Did she not care about the other lives that she has put in ruin because of his behaviour. She is not thinking of the Grandchildren that she will never see again because of the way she had let her child slide into adulthood without help.

This man should not have married anyone he needed to stay single. I was wondering why his family was in such a rush to get married. The other 2 women that he married too were from poor families and their parents were like YEAH gravy train and our daughter has a secure life. Without thinking of the outcome you have to do your detective work and to see what was going on but again by looking at him and his family you think WOWWWWW I got it made.

Its not easy to discern

Some mothers... you can't tell them a thing about their sons. I tried to talk to my ex's mother about her child treating me the same way his father treated her and got cussed out before I could even finish my first sentence. They all treated me like I was the one with the problems and not doing enough for him... then again they wanted to keep me taking care of him so they would not have to. His own father even offered to take care of me with anything I wanted just to stay with him like I was some wh**e with half a brain that could be bought like a barbie doll. The family was in complete denial about him until I walked away and let them have him back.

That boy literally abuse and neglected his mother, who was ill with a drinking problem and cancer, until the state had to be called in. Then they had the audacity to want to contact me for more information so they could supposedly get him help, which they never did.

Don't even get me started on the families...

 

[Almaz]

This is what BOTH wives said to me that when they TRIED to talk to his mother she shut them completely down. Did not want to hear it and started blaming them for not being good wives and that is why he was acting like that. Look if the man is crazy he crazy period the boy has got mental issues. I saw the mother tonight in the Synagouge and she was all in her glory acting like nothing is wrong. I am like you second set of Grandkids is back in Israel with their mother, Your first set is back in Brooklyn you will never see those kids again. No amount of money you give the mother will make her come back and be a part of you so the only way to see you grandbabies is that you have to hop on a plane to NY becuase she is never coming back to Chicago again after that madness and here you sit up in the Shul in all your finery acting like everything is cool.

Some mama need to be locked up right with the sons they raised. Socieity does not need this mess.

Some mothers... you can't tell them a thing about their sons. I tried to talk to my ex's mother about her child treating me the same way his father treated her and got cussed out before I could even finish my first sentence. They all treated me like I was the one with the problems and not doing enough for him... then again they wanted to keep me taking care of him so they would not have to. His own father even offered to take care of me with anything I wanted just to stay with him like I was some wh**e with half a brain that could be bought like a barbie doll. The family was in complete denial about him until I walked away and let them have him back.

That boy literally abuse and neglected his mother, who was ill with a drinking problem and cancer, until the state had to be called in. Then they had the audacity to want to contact me for more information so they could supposedly get him help, which they never did.

Don't even get me started on the families...

 

[song_of_serenity]

My ex had the nerve to say *I* made him a sociopath...

It's scary how every single one of your stories is mine as well...! These people definately have the same MO and mindset and behavior pattern...twisted. Just sad, scary and twisted!!

What made me so upset was how he twisted everything I did for his backside, GOOD things to everyone else and made ME into the bad guy...the girls soon found out soon enough...but those not in a romantic situation just...*sigh* I shouldn't care, these people aren't cutting my checks, paying my bills or putting food on my table. But it grates my nerve sometimes that he did all of this stuff, TERRIBLE things and seems to be getting away scott free dragging girl's names in the mud.

Sick or not, his day will come. Had church people praying for God to heal him from cancer and it was a LIE. Oooh. I am just getting upset all over again!!

 

[brownbeauty196]

My Ex went out of his way to make me look like the bad guy espcially to his family who adored me. One day we were getting ready to go to his sisters house for dinner, he went into anther room and called his sister and said he couldnt come because I was refusing to go. A bold faced lie. I confronted him and he accused me of hating his family. Quite the opposite was true, me and his family got along fine. I believe deep down he hated his family and resented my relationshop with them. He would even go as far as telling his then 12 year old daughter details of our relationship, like when we would fight.
Also he had a huge problem with lying and with his memory. He was very secretive and never spoke about his childhood. Ever incident where he was abusive he would say never happened or his favorite line was I was exaggerating. He would never admit to doing anything wrong , ever. He even blamed me for him dropping out of school, even though that happened 8 years before he even met me. The smartest thing I did was get out and now I'm happily married.

 

[LiqueXX]

My ex definitely had mental issues and a lot of the characteristics you guys use to describe these men are on point.

All I can say to the poster who asked the difference between being mentally ill and having emotional or immaturity issues is how unstable is the person in their life. Example, my ex could not keep a job (he went through dozens during our relationship), he could not keep an apartment, and he owed everyone money. His behavior was erratic, I think he was manic depressive or borderline personality (he was never diagnoised and is dead now so I will never know). Another thing is, he was a pathological liar, he would lie for no good reason. He would get caught in a lie and then proceed to tell another and then get caught again. I once asked him if he felt any remorse for his behavior and he said he did but the behavior would continue. When he drank he was outta control, pulling knives on me, and then crying and apologizing when I would to leave. I could go on and on but don't have the energy.

I agree with the poster who said there is a lot of undiagnosed mentally ill people out there. My ex would lie about going to treatment (I could tell because there was no diagnosis or meds). It seems like people that need treatment are scared, ashamed, or blind to the fact that they need help. And a lot of times their family members don't care or don't know what to do to help the situation (his family basically wrote him off).

I broke up with him many times but he had to die for me to be totally free. I have so many mixed emotions about the situation but I do know that I am done with men like him.

 

[joy2day]

I too had an ex that I believed to be bi-polar. In fact, he was preliminarily diagnosed as being severly depressed, and he told me himself that he suspected that he could be bi-polar, but would not go back for help. He would get violently mad when you talked about him getting help...

I blocked a lot of stuff about him, but I remember this one day...we were laying on the floor, just chit chatting. Somehow the subject of breast implants came up. So, me being totally oblivious, I told him that I never wanted any type of plastic surgery, didn't want any "fake parts." I am what I am. Don't you know this fool became ENRAGED!!! He was like, "you wouldn't get breast implants for me, you know I like big breasts!" Now I am like, "ummm, you are with me, and I don't have them...why would you want to change who I am?" He promptly got up and moved away from me, pissed for the rest of the day. I mean he would not talk to me, he would not look at me...

...And then there was the day that we were wrestling on the floor. So he pins me down. I am like, "ok, stop playing." This look comes on his face like nothing I have ever seen in a man's eyes since. I can't even describe the look, other than to say it was evil. I tell him again, "ok, stop playin, let me up." But he would not let me get up. He kept me pinned on the floor while he stared with that evil look on his face for like 15 minutes. He just stared at me. He wouldn't speak, did not crack a smile, did not wince. Just stared. Mentally, I was going out of my head like, what the F is wrong with this dude. But everything was a mind game with him. And God forbid that I would disagree with him on any anything (like the breasts), he would become violently mad, but he never hit me. It was just a lot of verbal and mental crap, most of which I don't remember. 'Cause that was 11 years ago, praise God!

(edit - he also tried to isolate me from my family, he got pissed with me on Thanksgiving when I tried to leave him to go home for the holiday, so like a fool, I changed my plans and stayed with him to appease him. Really looking back, that could have been the day that he decided to really go off on me and kill me. I remember now, that weekend I put a leave-in hair moisturizer in my hair. He didn't like the smell of it. I had just stepped out of the shower, he forced me back into the shower to wash it off. Like I said, mind games. I never knew what he liked or disliked, or what was going to set him off.)

I really hope that a lot of sisters stop by this thread, because those of us who were in these crazy situations and walked away to tell it are abundantly blessed. Ain't no amount of "I need a man" on this planet worth the stories that the other women have told in this thread. Mine was minor compared to some of the stuff posted here.

 

[Minx]

Giiiiirrrrllllll... My situation was similar but I'd break up w/ him & he'd call me like it never happened. It was so weird. It was long distance and One day I just stopped answering his calls, shut down my fb, unfortunately he knew my friends and would try to contact them and I cut them out as well bcuz they thought they were being helpful by giving him info on me. I'm actually JUST getting back into normal online life. I even used a completely new screen name here. I have no idea why GeeLove. But it's a shame I had to change even my online names.

Ditto to the bolded.

My on again/off again boyfriend knows I frequent this forum.
In the beginning of our relationship, I used to share hair care tips with him (he has gorgeous hair) and he'd see me reading the boards so he knew my screen name.

Well, one day, during one of our break up periods, he apparently went through my posts on here......I just found out about this.

Some background:
One night I was in such distress from dealing with the drama of being in an emotionally abusive relationship with him for two years....I was truly, truly distraught and on the verge of a break down.....

So I went into the Christian forum, told my entire story and asked for prayer....I didn't know what I else to do (I was too ashamed to go to my family or to my pastor and let them know what I was going through)....
That is the post that he read.....which is now over two years old.....

Present day:
During a phone conversation this summer he confronted me with what I wrote in the Christian forum......I could not believe it...... he went and dug up that post!

I told him that post was old and informed him he violated me by invading my privacy...I was truly appalled that he would spy on me.....

He went into a tirade......cussed me out.....called me everything but a child of God...threatened to tell his entire family that I am no good, a liar,the devil, that I don't like him and his kids, blah, blah, blah.....

It did me no good to point out to him that I have hung in there with him all this time, that what I was writing about that night is now in the past..... that we supposedly have dealt with all that......I reminded him that I forgave him when he asked for forgiveness......

In any event, he just would not hear me.....but I asked him to forgive me for hurting him by posting what I did.....

Its very hard to be with a man who has psychological issues.....and yes, it does rub off on you and make you question your own sanity....

But yeah, I have just recently changed my name (I have been too afraid to post since I knew that he had snooped once and I was so scared he'd do it again.)

But I liked my old screen name.... its a shame that I felt so violated by what he did that I had to change my online idenity just to be able to converse with you ladies.

Sad, sad, sad.....

-Minx

 

[Supervixen]

Ladies, this is crazy, but my little brother (he's 21+, but still MY little brother) just told me that his ex was also clinically diagnosed Bipolar II. We also think my older sister's (now ex) husband may have Bipolar as well....long story but he seemed to be able to flip-flop his emotions alot.

Is mental illness just that rampant in the black community or do we (my sister, brother and me) have some affinity towards mentally ill folks?

 

[caltron]

Ladies, this is crazy, but my little brother (he's 21+, but still MY little brother) just told me that his ex was also clinically diagnosed Bipolar II. We also think my older sister's (now ex) husband may have Bipolar as well....long story but he seemed to be able to flip-flop his emotions alot.

Is mental illness just that rampant in the black community or do we (my sister, brother and me) have some affinity towards mentally ill folks?

People of all races and ethnicities suffer from mental illness. Though it's very stigmatizing, it's actually quite common. Unfortunately for black people, we tend to stigmatize mental illness more than other groups and probably for that reason, many people don't seek treatment who really need it.

 

[Bunny77]

Is mental illness just that rampant in the black community or do we (my sister, brother and me) have some affinity towards mentally ill folks?

I agree with Caltron, but I also think that the stressful situations that many black folks face throughout their lives (compared to others) could be triggers for the onset of mental illnesses.

I know that outside factors are not the sole cause of mental illness, but I've heard quite often that mental illness can be triggered by such situations.

 

[miss Congeniality]

My son's father is a paranoid schizo. It was great in the begining I was swept off of my feet, but when something triggered him it was crazy. I started to think that I was crazy. The ****ed up part was that everyone in his family knew and said nothing. Then on top of it they expected me to take care of him. When I felt that my son was in danger, I left.

 

[daydreem2876]

My son's father is a paranoid schizo. It was great in the begining I was swept off of my feet, but when something triggered him it was crazy. I started to think that I was crazy. The ****ed up part was that everyone in his family knew and said nothing. Then on top of it they expected me to take care of him. When I felt that my son was in danger, I left.

i know the feeling... even now, three years later, i still feel so betrayed. it makes me feel awful, but i can honestly say i hate those people (and hate is not a word i use lightly) because they sat back and watched the both of us suffering and did absolutley nothing, even after i reached out.

 

[ArrrBeee]

This is a really good thread. Bumping so other ladies can be enlightened.

 

[Ton 太太]

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