CONFUSING & HURTFUL SITUATION! HELP LADIES PLEASE!

[GoingNatural]

BC why the hell do you want him?????? is that the kind of MAN you want?

 

[luvn_life]

What's wrong with that? They aren't blood nor view the other as a brother/sister. I know plenty of people who have married the sibling of their spouse.

I know Dina and Caroline from Real Housewives of New Jersey.... (Sorry one of my favorite shows)

But, it's kinda messed up that the sis let you think it was all good even though she knew the deal. I know that's her brother but I would've just told you if that was me. Not in a rude way but in a just to let you know way.

 

[MuseofTroy]

Girl don't get caught up in the Devil's trick bag. Leave him alone! You deserve better. Don't waste your time on someone will bring chaos and drama into your life. If it was meant to be then it will happen without you forcing the issue.

 

[in_di_vi_du_al]

I know Dina and Caroline from Real Housewives of New Jersey.... (Sorry one of my favorite shows)

But, it's kinda messed up that the sis let you think it was all good even though she knew the deal. I know that's her brother but I would've just told you if that was me. Not in a rude way but in a just to let you know way.

That`s what IM saying. Some friend. Hm.

 

[MissYocairis]

See that's the problem with women, they tell us they don't want a relationship, but we still want to hang around JUST IN CASE he needs a bootie, I mean shoulder to cry on.

nah you was right the first time, just in case he needs a ..."a bootie to cry on"

 

[Freespirit02]

Girl leave him alone! NO man in his right mind would be hanging around a crazy Ex like that..and they sure wouldn't be holding her hand.

 

[v2.0]

Did you brother and his fiance know he was still involved with the chick or did he tell them he wasn't? Because if they knew...

 

[JinaRicci]

I recently (April `09) started "talking" to my brothers-fiances-younger brother. And he's a really sweet guy! Very respectable, and a hard worker! We hit it off from the start. Until, apparently he was visiting his ex-girlfriends house...They don't have ANY kids together, but not long before they got together she had twin girls that he became very close too, so he goes and see's them from time to time, or takes them out. This last time, the ex-girlfriend started going through his cell phone and noticed MY number in there. She flipped out and ended up smashing his windshield in- and since then has attempted to stab him. Should I feel indirectly responsible for this? Should I miss out on an opportunity to get to know a good guy because she wants to be crazy? ​

So sorry you went through this. Your own bolded made me pause- Should you miss out on a good guy because she wants to be crazy? Yes. In my experience, women don't usually go crazy like that over nothing. I have a good friend who had to put up with a crazy ex-gf she would stalk her, flatten her tires, just real crazy. Couple yrs later when my own friend started acting mean to the guy's current gf, she said she finally understood why the girl was acting like that. That the guy would drive any woman to act that way. I'm not excusing any crazy behavior but to me it is never worth it. Smashin windshields?.... nah- life is too precious.

The next time you see this, run. There are real good guys out there who will not put you through this & will really want to be with you. Consider yourself lucky- you are undeserving of such drama- & blessed.

 

[in_di_vi_du_al]

Did you brother and his fiance know he was still involved with the chick or did he tell them he wasn't? Because if they knew...

Funny you ask that:

The day before, my brother joked around and said "So and so has a new girlfriend blah blah blah" But he said it in a jokingly manner so I felt I had no reason to believe him. He's my brother, we joke & kid like that- but apprantly I should've taken that to heart. Wow. So yeah, I guess they did know.

 

[Zaynab]

See that's the problem with women, they tell us they don't want a relationship, but we still want to hang around JUST IN CASE he needs a bootie, I mean shoulder to cry on. I'm not totally directing towards you, but I've always wondered why we do that? We want them to be honest and when they are we don't listen. Why do we have that mentality that makes us think, that we have to make a guy want us, even though he clearly doesn't? Why is being rejected a sign for some women, to pull out all of their tricks in the bag to pursue the guy even harder?

Girl stop making sense, just stop

 

[Zaynab]

I know Dina and Caroline from Real Housewives of New Jersey.... (Sorry one of my favorite shows)

But, it's kinda messed up that the sis let you think it was all good even though she knew the deal. I know that's her brother but I would've just told you if that was me. Not in a rude way but in a just to let you know way.

I'm surprised but then not. Women still have this thing that they can "get a man from a woman" or they think "not married? oh he's single and therefore free game" I don't get the competition women create with other women. If you know someone has a man, leave him alone and don't put your homegirl on to him.

OP I'm sorry you're going through this. You're not loosing out on a good guy, you never had him. Most guys end up in shady situations b/c men really don't want to be the "bad guy" so they let things evolve and aren't able to communicate things sometimes. When he stopped showing up and stopped communicating, he was trying to "tell" you via actions w/o being hurtful.

 

[locabouthair]

OP, I've been int he same boat you. I would hold on to a guys every word and then when he stopped calling, I didnt wanna believe he wasnt interested..If I knew then what I knew now I would move on from the moment he stopped showing interest.

Move on so you can find someone who wants to be in a relationship.

 

[in_di_vi_du_al]

I'm surprised but then not. Women still have this thing that they can "get a man from a woman" or they think "not married? oh he's single and therefore free game" I don't get the competition women create with other women. If you know someone has a man, leave him alone and don't put your homegirl on to him.

OP I'm sorry you're going through this. You're not loosing out on a good guy, you never had him. Most guys end up in shady situations b/c men really don't want to be the "bad guy" so they let things evolve and aren't able to communicate things sometimes. When he stopped showing up and stopped communicating, he was trying to "tell" you via actions w/o being hurtful.

That is very true. He wasnt with anyone when we started dating. I do think its bogus that his sister & my brother didnt say anything..but idk Im just glad its over.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

[3 words] Too much drama.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Over, done, move on. You are twisting yourself into a knot wondering why her, not you, you are giving real estate in your head to a situation the man seems very content with. Your man is out there amongst the 300,000..be patient and think about how wonderful you are and who some man will have to be to earn your love.