Calling in the One Challenge

[Crystalicequeen123]

Ok, I bought this book on a whim...maybe it wasn't a whim since I saw this thread first

Either way, I just finished reading the intro and already had an epiphany. I feel self conscious about it, but I'm gonna share anyway for the sake of trying something different.

I keep harping about how much I want a serious bf and blah, blah, blah, but cringe at the thought of being held responsible for the things I do/say. I can be fickle/indecisive and my feelings on a matter can change from one day to the next. In a rlshp I will have to be sure about things, and real about my feelings.

There, I said it. Yes, it was hard

@keyawarren

Awwww..... thank you for sharing!

You're right, I can already tell that this self-reflection part is going to be hard for me.... erplexed

I'm so glad you opened up and shared that with us though.

I almost wish we could make a "Calling in the One" Private Group here on LHCF where members can join in and share their epiphanies and "a-ha!" moments on there w/out any judgement.

I feel like sharing some things I've already been thinking about since I read the intro, but Idk if I want just anybody reading it on these boards if they aren't doing the exercises/reading the book... erplexed

Idk...what do you ladies think???

@Crystalicequeen123 I read this book when I was tired of my relationship with my SO circa 4 years ago and BAM, I had so many dates lined up and men came up to me and said the weirdest things (Swedish men don't really approach women in general, so this was extra weird) like how beautiful I was etc etc.

However, SO was also drawn in by whatever charm this book gave to me and confessed that he wanted us to stay together and move forward and have a baby. And here I am.

But if I'm ever in that situation again...I'll be dusting off that book and do it all over again. I'm not going to lie, those exercises were difficult for me. I guess they asked the right questions.

@FlowerHair WOW!!! That's AWESOME!! You know, your experience isn't too rare. A LOT of reviewers of this book on Amazon.com said that within a month or two after reading this book, not only were men coming out of the woodwork, but HIGHER quality men, AND they found "the ONE!" I'm really impressed. Also, did you do the LOA stuff in the book?? (ie. buying things that signified "coupledom" & unity, clearing out a closet for your beloved, building a shrine, etc... ) I'm just wondering how to the LETTER people did the suggestions, and if you have to follow it to a T in order to get good results.

When is everyone starting?? I wanted to start on Monday (yesterday), but I haven't even started reading Week 1 yet. Were the daily exercises hard to do?? How extensive were the readings/exercises to do everyday/week? I'm just wondering how much TIME I'm going to have to devote to this every day because my time is kind of limited. erplexed I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if I can just do Monday AND Tuesday today and be caught up in time for tomorrow (Wednesday's reading and exercises)???

 

[Kimbosheart]

*** it I'm in. I need to get my mind right and maybe this will help me get out of this relationship I'm in.

I'm sick of hoping and grasping at straws and LOA. I just want it to flow. I'm tired.

I really hope this can be a no judge zone. I just want to vent. I know my situation and I'm capable of managing my life. It will be quite clear when I'm asking for specific advice and input on any subject.

 

[tigerrose]

I am currently on Lesson 3 and will work on writing the letter to myself from
my ideal lover tonight.

I am enjoying the posts in this challenge. I hope everyone will feel comfortable enough to be transparent and honest during this challenge. I don't care who reads my posts because this is about my growth and accomplishing one of the most important goals for my life...marrying my soul mate. If my transparency helps just one woman with her growth as she prepares for her husband, then it is worth it to be so open in this open forum.

I am having a harder time than I expected with releasing the guy I believed was The One. Today my spirit felt sad because I keep telling myself that I need to let him go so he can grow and get ready; as I am growing and getting ready for my husband. I don't want him to distract me from receiving my husband if he is not The One for me. The problem is I had a strong spiritual connection with this guy. I decided to trust God and let the guy go and let God handle our situation if God has truly brought us together.

I have been praying for God to remove all counterfeits from my life so I can create the space needed in my life and heart to allow my husband in. Usually when I ask God to remove counterfeits, the wrong guys will eventually leave my life. With this guy it seems like when I say that prayer he shows up and it looks like he is not leaving. But I know that right now this guy is not The One because he needs to do his own self work before he will be ready to marry me. To be honest, this relationship made me realize I have a lot of my own self work to do too before I will be ready to marry.

So I am using this book as part of my process to get ready to become a wife.
I truly feel that if God brought me and this guy together, that if I let him go so I can focus on getting myself ready and he can focus on getting himself ready, that he will come back into my life when he is ready for me. If he is not The One, then my husband will be able to come into my life at the appointed time because I won't be distracted by any counterfeits.

I think I may need to do a releasing exercise daily until I can get this guy completely out of my heart and spirit. I released him in love because he is truly a wonderful guy, but I just can't handle distractions right now. This guy has been harder to release though because of the strong spiritual connection.

So for the ladies who are still having a hard time letting go after so many years, I understand your pain. It is hard but necessary to let go. If the guy really is The One I believe he will come back when he is ready. Or you will create the needed space in your heart and spirit for The One to come into your life.

I know the importance of divine timing, but sometimes I want to say: Hurry up God!
But I know that God is waiting on me and not the other way around.

 

[theRaven]

I will try to buy this book off Amazon sometime this week. I definitely want to join this challenge, so I'm in. I don't mind being personal and transparent because I want to be open and honest.

 

[ClassicChic]

I wish this was a private group. I'm not really an "open book" person. I will try.... I'm on day 2 ..... So today in my office, I'm daydreaming about wedding songs and the "big day". Then I imagine myself in my wedding gown about to make my entrance. Then my dream stops and I start to cry. Yep. I stop my dream because I can't even dream of being a bride. Depressing I know. I know I would be a great wife. However, I can truly see how I was not ready to be married in any of my past relationships. Also, I found out an ex who treated me VERY BADLY recently got married. I have no feelings for him. However, I dont feel the universe was fair. Why does he get to be happy?

 

[theRaven]

tigerrose

I understand completely in letting go is very difficult. Some people really occupy a space in our heart and mind, and when we don't let go they still occupy space they no longer deserve.

I am doing my darn best not to dwell on the past and guys I still think about.


Now I know the book centers on "the One" but I like to believe their are several "ones" and you find one compatible with you to settle down with
I know not as romantic but I can not get past their being only one specific person for me.

For me personally I wholeheartedly desire to be in love and be consumed by love. So much that I checked out a complete book of poems by Pablo Neruda at my campus library Honestly I have had two relationships one ended on mutual terms the other somewhat sucky terms, but I still am amicable with both men. Honestly though neither relationship was a love relationship. Good relationships with good men but it just was not enough. I didn't really understand myself or what I wanted so I don't believe I gave myself wholly.
After making my list for my future Husband I really centered on what aspects I need to sustain a relationship.

I am not scared to fall in love in fact I am very much a romantic. However I am scared that I myself am not ready for what I truly want/need. I am scared that the woman I want to be will take too long that I will bypass guys or I won't be ready to accept them.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Wow......I'm loving reading everyone's experiences on here.

I see nobody wants to make a private group board where anyone can join and post about this book lol. That's cool. I don't mind being candid at all on here. MY only concern was that SOMETIMES people take what you've said on other posts and use your previous posts against you. And since this book gets really DEEP and we'll be posting a lot of personal stuff, I just didn't want that to happen to anyone of us, because that has actually happened to me on here before.

But whatever. ..... If everyone else is posting on here then I will go ahead and be candid and post my experiences in here as well.

 

[Kimbosheart]

So, I purchased the book. Read the intro chapters and did exercise one.

I like the premises, and the intro was speaking to me about changing and trying again.

I think the thing that spoke to me most were:

1. Intention v. expectation
2. Letting go of victimhood because you don't think you've been understood and heard

I have an expectation of him and how our life should go. Those expectations are based on everything but reality. Despite all the noise- that after 2 years you should be married, you should be X or Y. We aren't. It's been slower for us for a lot of reasons. But he's a good guy. He isn't out there disrespecting me. We both have our communication issues but they haven't gotten in the way of us having fun together and being best friends.If it's the 80/20 rule, I admit that the majority of the time we are more like 90/10. So, I'll work on that over the next 7 weeks. Intentions for the things I want, not material things, but more a quality of conversation and a commitment in a relationship.

Which is the other thing, I need to let him go mentally and emotionally because that level of commitment with me may not be what he wants.

 

[Kimbosheart]

FTR: I don't mind a private group board. She made some great suggestions in the book for how to conduct a group and meetings. Maybe someone who knows how to set that up could do that.

 

[girlonfire]

Not sure if anyone has said this already but the book is available on the Google App Store. Its 11 12 dollars give or take. It's weird but it's a little bit more expensive than the Amazon version on Kindle but hey, it's there.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

FTR: I don't mind a private group board. She made some great suggestions in the book for how to conduct a group and meetings. Maybe someone who knows how to set that up could do that.

I know how to create a private group...

You can create a group on here that you can send or leave the link here to, and then people can go to the group and post there if they wish.

In some groups you can make it so people have to join (Private Locked Group). But with most of the groups on here they are open to ALL. That's all I'm talking about. That way, if people want to discuss deep DEEEP things they don't want to share on here, then they can go to the group. It could be like a support group.

I'm all for either or (it doesn't matter too much to me), but I think a Private group away from the boards would be nice.

 

[sapphire74]

Great testimonies! Thanks to all the ladies that have shared there stories so far! Please add me to the challenge and private group. I will purchase my book this weekend. Can someone post the link the original "Calling In The One" thread? I have looked for it but it is not coming up for some reason.

 

[ClassicChic]

Hey

Last night, I remembered that one could create groups on yahoo. I created one using the name "Callinginthe1". I set it to private and once it's private, that setting can't be undone. However, email addresses are not hidden.

I was just trying this out however this is an option. It allows for different "conversations" aka threads also.

Just a suggestion .....

 

[ClassicChic]

Today is my Day 3 ....

I decided to revisit Day 1 and Day 2. I just feel that my "energy" is not in the right place. I'm not 100 percent focused. The past couple of days have been hectic.

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

Thanks for sharing ladies! I read this thread and the one from 2012. I'm going to buy the book and participate

 

[Kimbosheart]

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=579321&highlight=calling+in+the+one

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hmmm.... I'm thinking that it might be a little better (and just easier) if we keep the group on this site lol...

If anyone is interested, I started a support group on here at LHCF. I'm surprised there wasn't one already!

Anyway, if you're interested in posting more "private" info or want support on the daily/weekly exercises, just PM me and I will send you an invite.

 

[tigerrose]

tigerrose
Now I know the book centers on "the One" but I like to believe their are several "ones" and you find one compatible with you to settle down with
I know not as romantic but I can not get past their being only one specific person for me.

I agree that there are several "ones" for us. I used to have the limiting belief that there was only one soul mate for me and it was depressing to think that I missed him somehow and would never get married. Fortunately, several years ago I started listening to and studying Myles Munroe's teachings on marriage and relationships. He explained that we have more than one soul mate, and that it is up to us to choose our spouse from those soul mates.

I have had some good relationships with good men, but they were not my soul mate and I didn't have that "consuming love" for them that would sustain a marriage. I have waited too long to get married so I refuse to settle now. I want a good man who I'm compatible and equally yoked with, but he must be my soul mate.

 

[tigerrose]

I know how to create a private group...

That way, if people want to discuss deep DEEEP things they don't want to share on here, then they can go to the group. It could be like a support group.

Thanks for setting up a private group on here. If more privacy will help everyone share the deep stuff that will help them grow and attract their One...then that means we will have more testimonies in this group!

I'm really looking forward to all of your testimonies about meeting your One, becoming engaged and getting married!

 

[Sarophina]

I would like to join as well. I love the idea of having a private group and really being open & honest.

 

[Avyn]

Wow......I'm loving reading everyone's experiences on here.

I see nobody wants to make a private group board where anyone can join and post about this book lol. That's cool. I don't mind being candid at all on here. MY only concern was that SOMETIMES people take what you've said on other posts and use your previous posts against you. And since this book gets really DEEP and we'll be posting a lot of personal stuff, I just didn't want that to happen to anyone of us, because that has actually happened to me on here before.

But whatever. ..... If everyone else is posting on here then I will go ahead and be candid and post my experiences in here as well.

Crystalicequeen123
How do you create a private group on here?

Eta: I see you did already! Thx! I prefer more privacy, too.

 

[Xaragua]

I want to participate, I just let go of my ex this past Sunday. I want to start over with a better mindset and a new outlook on life.

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

I'm not going to lie, those exercises were difficult for me. I guess they asked the right questions.

Me and a friend of mine did this book together a number of years ago. It became so painful and difficult that I quit about half way through.

It's funny this thread popped up because a few weeks ago I was over my friend's house and found this book (I sold my copy years ago) and was like "Calling in the One! Oh my God! Do you remember when we did this book together?" At which point she got irritated and reminded me I bailed out on her Anyway, I swiped it off her shelf, not really committed to doing it, but it just gave me a sense of nostalgia.

So now I see this thread and that book is in my line of vision pulsing and taunting me like the tell tale heart.

I'm not sure what I want relationship wise, but I do want to be more open in general and have more integrity in my relationships. I think I have a deep fear of abandonment and I act unstable because of it. I'll confess my undying love and then not call for 2 weeks.

I could certainly use the introspection this book forces and maybe I'm more ready to confront my issues in my early 30s than I was mid 20s

 

[LaBelleLL]

Can someone helps understand the premise of
This book?

Does it help you to be more open so that you can allow the One to come into your life?

Or does it help you find the One?

 

[girlonfire]

Hey ladies,

I've been feeling really down since I shared that story about me and that guy. I think I'll be purchasing the book. Tearing myself up about him is not good for my mental health or self esteem. I'll update when I've received the book and read at least 1 chapter.

 

[Avyn]

Can someone helps understand the premise of
This book?

Does it help you to be more open so that you can allow the One to come into your life?

Or does it help you find the One?

LaBelleLL
It helps you to uncover and remove your own mental and emotional blockages to giving and receiving lasting love.

 

[Avyn]

Hey ladies,

I've been feeling really down since I shared that story about me and that guy. I think I'll be purchasing the book. Tearing myself up about him is not good for my mental health or self esteem. I'll update when I've received the book and read at least 1 chapter.

girlonfire
So glad you decided to jump in!!!

 

[LaBelleLL]

LaBelleLL It helps you to uncover and remove your own mental and emotional blockages to giving and receiving lasting love.

Oh this is wonderful and right on time. I will be looking more into this.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Thanks for setting up a private group on here. If more privacy will help everyone share the deep stuff that will help them grow and attract their One...then that means we will have more testimonies in this group!

I'm really looking forward to all of your testimonies about meeting your One, becoming engaged and getting married!

You're welcome! I'm excited too!

@Crystalicequeen123
How do you create a private group on here?

Eta: I see you did already! Thx! I prefer more privacy, too.

Avyn You're welcome! Thanks for creating this thread and forcing me to take a look at this book!

Me and a friend of mine did this book together a number of years ago. It became so painful and difficult that I quit about half way through.

It's funny this thread popped up because a few weeks ago I was over my friend's house and found this book (I sold my copy years ago) and was like "Calling in the One! Oh my God! Do you remember when we did this book together?" At which point she got irritated and reminded me I bailed out on her Anyway, I swiped it off her shelf, not really committed to doing it, but it just gave me a sense of nostalgia.

So now I see this thread and that book is in my line of vision pulsing and taunting me like the tell tale heart.

I'm not sure what I want relationship wise, but I do want to be more open in general and have more integrity in my relationships. I think I have a deep fear of abandonment and I act unstable because of it. I'll confess my undying love and then not call for 2 weeks.

I could certainly use the introspection this book forces and maybe I'm more ready to confront my issues in my early 30s than I was mid 20s

Oh wow... That bad huh?? erplexed

*takes a deep breath*

It seems like this book will definitely open up some old wounds, but...I'm READY!

I'll send you an invite to our group!

Hey ladies,

I've been feeling really down since I shared that story about me and that guy. I think I'll be purchasing the book. Tearing myself up about him is not good for my mental health or self esteem. I'll update when I've received the book and read at least 1 chapter.

girlonfire Good for you... I know it's not easy.

I'll send you an invite to our group.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I want to participate, I just let go of my ex this past Sunday. I want to start over with a better mindset and a new outlook on life.

Xaragua I'll send you an invite to our group