Bringing The Mistress Around The Family...

[Almaz]

So what if she works a lot or is "stuck up" that does not mean he is supposed to cheat on her. Maybe there are reasons. But anyway if the family knows it is a mistress believe me the wife knows too. I've seen parties where the Husband showed how with his side piece and the wife after many years of being humiliated showed up with hers.

Do you know this bastard got the nerve to get angry.

Go figure.

I don't know - sounds like a whole lot of people 'stay out of other peoples business' because they don't want to be involved in 'drama' - even if it's their dear friends 'drama' and or lives on the line.

If hubby is a 'Golden Child' in the family, and wifey is 'that stuck up heifer working all the time instead of taking care of house and man' - - I can see a whole lotta families being close-lipped about it - or being persuaded to keep their mouths shut by Granny. Damn shame the ish we perpetuate.

 

[JustKiya]

So what if she works a lot or is "stuck up" that does not mean he is supposed to cheat on her. Maybe there are reasons. But anyway if the family knows it is a mistress believe me the wife knows too. I've seen parties where the Husband showed how with his side piece and the wife after many years of being humiliated showed up with hers.

Do you know this bastard got the nerve to get angry.

Go figure.

Oh, nah, nah, nah, not implying that it should be he is supposed to cheat on her - but I've heard the bullish filled excuses that some families (including my own) will give about the reasons why it's 'excusable' to have some sidechick, and that's been reason number 1 many a time - esp. with the older generation.

 

[*5+5]

This has happened in my family but my relative wasn't happily married or close to it. My cousin wife was doing dumb ish like hiding his medication, tried to run over our Auntie, took papers out on his brother (17yrs old) and had him arrested for something he didn't do. Made a video cursing out the family, telling us to bring it and all.

Okay so when he showed up with his mistress our family was rejoicing b/c we were happy to see him happy for once. I know that wasn't right b/c he was still legally married but aye...sorry.

 

[Highly Favored8]

]I don't know - sounds like a whole lot of people 'stay out of other peoples business' because they don't want to be involved in 'drama' [/SIZE]- even if it's their dear friends 'drama' and or lives on the line.

If hubby is a 'Golden Child' in the family, and wifey is 'that stuck up heifer working all the time instead of taking care of house and man' - - I can see a whole lotta families being close-lipped about it - or being persuaded to keep their mouths shut by Granny. Damn shame the ish we perpetuate.

I see where you are coming from HF. I would not be ugly to her; but I would go out of my way to extra friendly with her knowing what's up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hairpy............Am I looking at this situation wrong? Let me put the situation out there like this. (and tell me if this is what you are sorta talking about okay.)

My Uncle Glenn shows up to a family reunion with Gladys Ann. BUT Glenn is married to Pauline. The whole family knows Gladys Ann is sleeping with Glenn and she is there with Glenn. Now, the question is should I be nice to Gladys Ann??????

ANSWER: I wouldn't be rude to her. But I wouldn't have jack to do with her knowing she is at our reunion with my Uncle and my Uncle's wife is at home resting because she is working to darn much. Man, bump Gladys Ann. I will greet her because I am suppose to. (I wouldn't go out of my way to greet her though.) But that is about it.

ITA with both of you. I know this for a fact and can't say nada about it. So, what do I do when someone invites me to events where I know mistress goes I do at times decline. IMHO it is just all fake! I could go on however, I will stop for now!

 

[discobiscuits]

HAIRapy, does the wife know? I mean she works a lot but does she know about the side piece? If she does and she is allowing this to go on then I don't know what to say.

 

[HAIRapy]

HAIRapy, does the wife know? I mean she works a lot but does she know about the side piece? If she does and she is allowing this to go on then I don't know what to say.

I don't believe she does. She found out years ago that he cheated and she gave him holy hell. She kicked him out, eventually she took him back, so I don't think she'd take that laying down. Also, she is churchy-churchy... and he's a deacon- I didn't mention that. They go on multiple vacations a year, are kissy-kissy and stuff... I don't think she has any idea. I kinda wish he would get caught on Cheaters.

 

[TCatt86]

I don't believe she does. She found out years ago that he cheated and she gave him holy hell. She kicked him out, eventually she took him back, so I don't think she'd take that laying down. Also, she is churchy-churchy... and he's a deacon- I didn't mention that. They go on multiple vacations a year, are kissy-kissy and stuff... I don't think she has any idea. I kinda wish he would get caught on Cheaters.

Oh hell no!!! And I bet the sidehoe is a member of the church. He needs to be demoted because he is being blatant about his disrespect to him wife and his church.

 

[natural2008]

OP - Huuuuum girl. Someone needs to call the wife and tell her to come to the event anomyous or something. Take pictures and send them to her anomyous or something. This is just not right and his wife is a deacon. STD's are deadly and he does not care. Do you think she (the wife) knows and is just oaky with it? He is so bold.

 

[HAIRapy]

Oh hell no!!! And I bet the sidehoe is a member of the church. He needs to be demoted because he is being blatant about his disrespect to him wife and his church.

From what I've heard, she's a skank from the street and not his church. Atleast that's 1 good thing.

 

[HAIRapy]

OP - Huuuuum girl. Someone needs to call the wife and tell her to come to the event anomyous or something. Take pictures and send them to her anomyous or something. This is just not right and his wife is a deacon. STD's are deadly and he does not care. Do you think she (the wife) knows and is just oaky with it? He is so bold.

I don't think she knows.

 

[TCatt86]

From what I've heard, she's a skank from the street and not his church. Atleast that's 1 good thing.

nono:Couldn't he have cheated with someone that wasn't a skank. Wait nevermind mistress and skank are synonomous.

 

[discobiscuits]

Okay, I see. Well, if it were me, I'd video or take pics and then I'd tell the wife. But that is just me. Then I'd print out the scriptures that reference the character traits of church leaders and send it to the Bishop and let him know one of his deacons is messing up.

 

[HAIRapy]

nono:Couldn't he have cheated with someone that wasn't a skank. Wait nevermind mistress and skank are synonomous.

Yeah, she could be the CEO of a company and walk around in the finest clothes and shoes for all I care. hoe/skank/mistress/chickenhead/smallheadbaldhead/nasty/homewrecker- are all the same to me.

 

[v2.0]

No. I feel so bad for her. I've told this fam member about himself before about this type of trifling crap.


ETA: I wonder why this thread was moved to the relationship forum, this is not a relationship issue... not with me atleast. I started this thread in the OT section.

Are you going to tell the wife?

 

[v2.0]

Because she works A LOT. I don't know if she'll be working or if she's just resting, but she decided to pass on the event.

I would've went and picked her up without telling anyone.

 

[v2.0]

I don't know - sounds like a whole lot of people 'stay out of other peoples business' because they don't want to be involved in 'drama' - even if it's their dear friends 'drama' and or lives on the line.

If hubby is a 'Golden Child' in the family, and wifey is 'that stuck up heifer working all the time instead of taking care of house and man' - - I can see a whole lotta families being close-lipped about it - or being persuaded to keep their mouths shut by Granny. Damn shame the ish we perpetuate.

Are we related?

 

[v2.0]

I'd curse her out and make her feel like the trash that she is. I'd embarrass everyone for accepting and condoning this nonsense. Y'all betta not say nothing when I'm done either.

 

[natural2008]

Girl that is a mess.

 

[Highly Favored8]

I'd curse her out and make her feel like the trash that she is. I'd embarrass everyone for accepting and condoning this nonsense. Y'all betta not say nothing when I'm done either.

I really want to do this however, I was told not too. I want to do it so bad. Sorry OP for hijacking! Good thread though!

 

[HAIRapy]

Are you going to tell the wife?

No, I'm not going to tell her. I've had a bad experience telling someone that their man was cheating on them. I believe what you do in the dark will come to light, it's just a matter of time. I can't make any promises that I won't curse her out... I mean... at some point, I may have a drink... or two. You know what they say about the likka brinin' out the truth.

 

[JustKiya]

No, I'm not going to tell her. I've had a bad experience telling someone that their man was cheating on them. I believe what you do in the dark will come to light, it's just a matter of time. I can't make any promises that I won't curse her out... I mean... at some point, I may have a drink... or two. You know what they say about the likka brinin' out the truth.

Drunk dial the wife!!!!!

 

[BlkHoneyLuv2U]

Your immediate family member is "happily" married, but brings his mistress to the family get-together. You're not best friends with the wife, but you like her. How do you treat the mistress?

them words right there in bold dont go together, oxymoron.......

 

[HAIRapy]

them words right there in bold dont go together, oxymoron.......

ITA... heavy on the MORON!

 

[v2.0]

I really want to do this however, I was told not too. I want to do it so bad. Sorry OP for hijacking! Good thread though!

Who told you not to and why?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I'd snitch. There is no way that would be allowed in my house and EVERYONE in the house would know how I felt if that were to happen at an family event.

That did happen once and the woman was asked to leave the family event (not my house).

 

[michelle81]

No, I'm not going to tell her. I've had a bad experience telling someone that their man was cheating on them. I believe what you do in the dark will come to light, it's just a matter of time. I can't make any promises that I won't curse her out... I mean... at some point, I may have a drink... or two. You know what they say about the likka brinin' out the truth.

If your family member had a guy on the side instead of a lady, would you then tell?
I personally don't think I'd "tell", but I would anonymously call her when the "couple" showed up, and just let her see for herself.

 

[HAIRapy]

If your family member had a guy on the side instead of a lady, would you then tell?
I personally don't think I'd "tell", but I would anonymously call her when the "couple" showed up, and just let her see for herself.

Good question. I don't think he would be so eager to bring the dude around fam if that were the case. As far as I know (because you never REALLY know) I don't have any gay males or females in my family, so for him to bring a guy around would probably cause an uproar. If it were the case, I probably would somehow let her know. I know... That double standard is terrible right?

 

[blasianbeauty]

Hairapy how would you feel about leaving an anounomys note for her? I would tell her that she really, REALLY needs to show up at the family gathering this weekend because you all have a surprise for her.

Oh yeah, and tell her not to tell her husband either because the surprise is REALLY for him -that way, she'lll be tight lipped about the letter because she thinks yall will be doing something so sweet for him.

Tell her that she needs to be there at such and such time (when you know everyone will be leaving) because OF COURSE no one is going to let her in.

 

[tilati]

I would not allow it in my house, and I would definitely let the wife know erplexed I don't play with that ish


ETA: and I would leave if it was not in my house...

 

[Highly Favored8]

Who told you not to and why?

Well, it is a female friend of mine-brother. Who is doing this exact same thing to his wife =(. I was told not to get involed b/c it is none of my business. I am very good friends with all of them expect the mistress. So, now I distance myself from them b/c I do not want to be and or feel like a hypocrite.