Gender Racism and Black women.

[softblackcotton]

Strange. When I dabbled in online dating for a little tiny bit, I got tons of responses from all races of men much more from white men than any. Older white men.

 

[londontresses]

I think this is an issue of preference. A race-related issue but not (on the whole) racism.

There are many racists in the world (including in online dating).

My eyes are open. Thanks.

 

[Raspberry]

The highlighted is something i'll never understanderplexed. Why would someone narrow their dating pool so restrictively? It makes no sense to me. Black is black, cultural differences can be worked on but if a black woman desires a black husband, I always say her best option is to be open to ALL black men from different cultural backgrounds

I personally agree but I can't completely cosign because if cultural sameness is high on a an AA black woman's priority list, a non-AA black men may seem just as culturally different as an american white guy in many cases. And honestly most non-AA black men would agree with me...

 

[Raspberry]

Well, reading the threads about online dating on here makes it seem like there are so many losers on the dating sites so even if this is true, it just means that the losers don't want Black women. A good thing, no?

Maybe, maybe not...online dating focuses more on ideals. When you're filling out a dating questionnaire you're most likely going to describe your everyday fantasy. However, in everyday life most of us at some point have liked, dated, or even married someone who doesn't fit our natural ideal physically, financially, etc. While it may be true that a lot of these guys don't see black women as their dream girl, in face-to-face interactions a particular black woman may have that irresistible appeal and change their minds..(plus too many men talk so much junk about preferences then come to find out...). Jade's post is a good example of this... yea it sucks that black women are often not naturally seen as the ideal choice but everyday life isn't straightforward like an online dating survey.

 

[Raspberry]

LHCF is PMS'ing...

I know I am

 

[Dragone]

Clicking is optional people.

I'm just saying...

 

[Syrah]

Hey my issue is with racism, not with anyone's dating preferences. Don't care who people do and don't want to date. As long as we all have our eyes open concerning racism. My comments were in response to the comments that said "what does this have to do with racism/it's just a preference."

How do you know when its a preference vs racism? And why waste your time figuring it out?

 

[MizAvalon]

I did online dating for years and this is true. If it is a site where they give you the option of listing your racial preferences, most of them will not list "Black".

 

[mischka]

How do you know when its a preference vs racism? And why waste your time figuring it out?

I don't, probably because I don't waste my time figuring anything out. Racism isn't so hard to spot, you see.

 

[Incognitus]

I think we have discussed this quite a bit. It can be disheartening to read these articles. But honestly IMO it serves black women better to focus on the positive and on the men who do want them. I have said this before, but unless you plan on writing a book or dissertation on dating preferences, some of this information is best left alone. Have you checked out the wedding forum? Black women date and get married all the time. Many of us are loved, adored, spoiled, and treated very well. If I were you I'd focus on that reality and expect the very best for my life. And not saying you aren't expecting the best. I just find that threads like these lead to a lot of negativity and unnecessary fear.

ITA. I absolutely love reading your posts. Your responses are always grounded and encouraging....