ANYONE SINGLE MORE THAN 2 YEARS?

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

I've been single and celibate for about 4 years now. Prior to that, I was in a 10/11 year relationship and I needed time to find myself again, put things in perspective, live FREELY and a bunch of other stuff.

I haven't dated because I didn't want to be bothered with dealing with another person and everything it entails. I just needed to breathe. I didn't even want to get married or anything.

NOW, like the pass two months. I'm waiting and praying for a date. I go out (but is limited due to monetary problems, as of today). But I want to go out and be around people and men and date and just really enjoy myself.

I'm also ready to get married, so I'm picky about the type of men I want to be bothered with.

girl I remember I use to pull up to the club and sit in the car & study! I knew I had to get to where I had to go.... but i missed the men! the lights, camera, ACTION of it all ! Get out there!!! Church singles parties are actually really great! If dating is on the brain find more men as "friends" fewer women around helps me most!

being a social bunny is the best

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

Too refreshing.



That's me. I get a lot of guys looking at me from a far but they never say anything. I am working on my confidence most of all, which means growing my hair back to at least BSL and losing some more weight. I'm down 17 lbs and one dress size. I'd like to lose at least 20 more pounds and get down to a size 6.

Are you guys afraid to say something? NOT ME!! in drake's voice "I JUST NEED YOU TO SAY SOME BAAAAAAABY! SAY SAY SOME BAAAAAABBBBYYYYYYY!"

 

[Bunny77]

But if it's 2 years by force, I find it to be a problem. That's the beginning of being single by force for 5+ years.

Well, I still say it depends on the situation... like if you were in a relationship, it's not necessarily a good thing to always go right into another. Again, it depends... but maybe in certain cases, it's good to be "forced" into not having a boyfriend for 2 years.


Jumping from relationship to relationship isn't the healthiest thing.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I've been celibate and single for seven or eight years now. Its been tough and I've been hit with a ton of emotions maybe I'm unnattractive, boring, not good enough, etc etc etc). Its tough when the entire world around you has someone to share their life with.

 

[cheetarah1980]

I've been single for 11 years, but I've been dating the entire time (with the exception of an 18 month hiatus without a date). Some men I dated for months but an exclusive, committed relationship never came of it. I wouldn't say I'm happily single. While I am content with myself and like my life I do want to settle down and am actively pursuing finding a man to spend my life with. I just met a few new guys this past week so only time will tell if anything develops from any of them.

 

[MissJ]

I was just thinking about this the other day. I have been single for three years. I also spent those three years pursuing my legal education. Now, that I am done, I would like to find a nice man or men to get to kwow. I did get to know a couple guys during school breaks, but they were wack as h*ll, pressuring for sex so soon that I could not take them seriously. I did meet a nice guy toward the end of my stint in the college town. Unfortunately, I was moving the last time he asked me out. The times before those that he asked me to do something, I was busy with school stuff. He probably thought I wasn't interested or that I was just crazy and giving mixed signals. Oh well.

 

[phynestone]

I've been single for several years now. I haven't met anyone worth my while. Dated here and there, but no one of major interest.

 

[Dee Raven]

I just got out of a relationship but before then I was single for 3 years. I love being single. I love being able to not have to compromise and share. It's me time all the time. For me to give that up, I really have to meet the right one. The last guy I dated obviously was not and I felt completely smothered with him, so I foresee being single for several more years now. But you never know.

 

[NaturallyGraceful]

Single & celibate for 5 almost 6yrs.

My focus on my kids sucked up most of those years where I really didn't feel like being bothered with anything or anyone else. And then after they got out the way, I felt I needed to work on myself.

Now, I'm ready, but not really proactive about it. I'm a homebody & like it. I like the solitude.
I was told just today by my ex mother in law, that I'll probably never get married or if so, he'll be old & understanding because I'm so set in my ways. (I disagree-can't stand older men.There is a very special man out there who'll love the fact that I'm somewhat detached & need a lot of space lol)

The quality of men I've encountered in the last few years was beyond disappointing. I'm in no way confused about who I am & what I deserve, and the attitudes of these men was one of arrogance & selfishness. I was told by one that it was a "man's world" since women outnumbered men & he could find a woman to put up with whatever he was dishing.
My response was "do you-somewhere else".

I'm older & wiser. I'd rather be alone than put up with foolishness.

 

[LivingDol1]

i am coming up on being single for 3 years... and celibate because for me, those things go hand in hand. casual sex is a no-no in my book. and no casual coloring buddies either.

i am okay with being single... but i don't want to be. i think i just accept it because if i didn't, i'd be hating life right now. plus, i'd rather be single than settling.

i think after having been single for a long time, i am ready to date again. i just haven't met anyone who keeps my attention or anyone who isn't a prick. nice guys who have their life together are far and few between...

i'm not worried about starting a family as it is no secret that i don't want to have children. but i don't want to spend the rest of my life being single.

HI LADIES? HAVE ANY OF YOU BEEN SINGLE FOR MORE THAN 2 YEARS? WHAT DO YOU ATTRIBUTE TO THIS ROMANTIC PAUSE?

ARE YOU HAPPILY SINGLE?:bouncegre:bouncegre
OR READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP?

HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING BACK OUT THERE?
OR JUST A HARD TIME FINDING "THE RIGHT MAN"???:alcoholic

ANYBODY AGING AND WORRIED ABOUT STARTING A FAMILY ..... ?

 

[Enyo]

you sound very driven, god bless sis! taking stock of your life is a big BIG part of success! many blessings!!

Thank you. I feel like I haven't gotten the chance to really enjoy life. Being in a serious relationship requires more than I'm ready to share at this point. I would casually date just for something to do, but people always end up thinking they are special and I will change all my plans just to be with them. Humph!

 

[Demi27]

I've been single for about 2 years now. I always have large gaps of time between being in relationships, so this is nothing new. I've never been the type of have a lot of men approach me either. Before, I used to be bothered by that, but I don't mind too much these days.

 

[Duchesse]

This July I'll be single/celibate for exactly two years. I've purposefully put myself off the market. I told myself after my last mishap that the next man I have any sort of relations with will be my husband. I'm not ready to get married yet, nor am I interested in casual dating at the moment, so yeah.

 

[Mena]

single almost 3 years... celibate 1 year

 

[keykee]

I am ready for a relationship. I think I have this fantasy of the man that I want and I have heard its not good to expect so much, but i don't care.. I will compromise a little but I've been with enough Dbags to know that I will not settle for less anymore.

I think its really hard to find the right guy.. esp when you have so much criteria. Its kinda annoying because I keep meeting the wrong guys.. so it makes me wonder if its ever going to happen. I am also aware that it could possibly not happen. I've realised that there are women and men who look for a partner their whole lives and never find one.
Not really worried about aging because i know I don't want children.

 

[jwhitley6]

i was single for 4 years before my current SO... and it was definitely because i wasn't meeting the right people for me... i dated during that time and some i dated for months, but those never developed into what i would call an exclusive relationship... i knew what kind of man i wanted and something in the people that i ran across during those 4 years told me that those men weren't it....

Wow...sounds like I wrote this!...Co-sign.

 

[Determined22]

My last relationship was in 2006, I've been single for almost 4 years.

The first 2 years right after my relationship ended, I was enjoying just having fun and dating. Over the past 4 years I've dated a lot, met a lot of men, but it wasn't until this year that I discovered that I really want to be in a serious relationship again. So now I'm dating with a purpose. We'll see what happens.

 

[caribeandiva]

I've been single for 3+ years but by choice though. I date but I don't let them get serious.

 

[azuquita_morena]

I've been celibate/abstinent and single since the beginning lol. I've never been in a exclusive relationship. At this point, I really don't want to date, because I don't feel the best about myself right now. Due to the recession, I've suffered from some setbacks in my career/finances, so I'm trying to get back on the right track. My focus in on my career/finances, and until I can get back on track, I don't see myself dating for a while.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

I have never been in a LTR but I have dated here and there... Iunnno thread like this make me feel like I am a monster... I just turned 29 yesterday.... erplexed

 

[Kiadodie]

I was totally single and celibate for 2 years but then met a guy that I was interested a month ago...it didnt work out BUT it gave me hope and fuel to keep going.

 

[sky_blu]

Single for a long time, dating, talking....I can never make it to exclusivity. Not sure its because Im not meeting the right guy or that I truly want to be alone. Honestly, I want to get married...or at least I think I do...but relationships are alot of work. He has to be really special for me to want to spend my time on him. My attention span is short and I have no time for foolishness, especially when there are so many men on the planet.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I have been single and celibente for 5 going 6 yrs..I know for the first few I was really deep dark and depressed..didn't take care of myself while at school..then I still wouldn't let go of this piece of man in my mind my love for him would be all I needed..but it wasn't..Now Im getting old no offense ladies Im much older in the mind than whats on my birth certificate 25 this nov..I mess being acknowledged by a man,being hugged and kissed,being desired sexually..and yes Im a christian but that doesn't stop those things..I miss dressing up for a man even though I dress up for me..it just something when you have your man who says baby you look good just for me..man Im a lucky fella..I sometimes think as I was tonight while crying will I ever have a man to go home to..will I ever get that embrace a man who wants to work hard to care for me and a family..I can see past a man pocket book..I can see into a man heart and soul..why can't a man see past my darkness,rolls and see the heart and soul and love..

 

[Enyo]

Is anyone in a support group? I'd like to be celibate for the long term (maybe life). It's hard because lots of people don't understand it and I feel like I'm alone.

 

[LongHairNWaiting]

I've been single for a very long time....longggg Now days, it seems like men are just looking for a booty call! (and not offense women), but some sistahs are giving it sooo easy that it is allowed. The respect is gone! Dating\Courting\Respecting a person...what happened to all of that in our culture? We really have to teach out daughters about respecting ourselves and not letting men define us by our bodies! (physically...for sure)

I am an educated women, with a good job and I have my own home. I only have 1 son, who's now grown. But when it comes to dating men...all I can say is I DONT DO THE DRAMA THAT THEY BRING!

It's like they forgot all the ground rule. 1. Respect a woman 2. Court a women 3. Learn a woman freak'n last name..lol (Yes, there is more), but I find myself saying W-T-F!!! to most men have having simple conversations and being ready to move on!

Ladies when you see those "Red Flags", don't stick around thinking he will change; or you can change him! Accept him for who he is, because he may not be for YOU!

<I've said enough...going to crawl back under my box and be perplexed a little more as to why our men are sooo sad in soooo many ways> Yes! I am judging because no woman wants to be alone for the rest of her life...lol I don't believe that God created us for that reason.

 

[Kiadodie]

I have been single and celibente for 5 going 6 yrs..I know for the first few I was really deep dark and depressed..didn't take care of myself while at school..then I still wouldn't let go of this piece of man in my mind my love for him would be all I needed..but it wasn't..Now Im getting old no offense ladies Im much older in the mind than whats on my birth certificate 25 this nov..I miss being acknowledged by a man,being hugged and kissed,being desired sexually..and yes Im a christian but that doesn't stop those things..I miss dressing up for a man even though I dress up for me..it just something when you have your man who says baby you look good just for me..man Im a lucky fella..I sometimes think as I was tonight while crying will I ever have a man to go home to..will I ever get that embrace a man who wants to work hard to care for me and a family..I can see past a man pocket book..I can see into a man heart and soul..why can't a man see past my darkness,rolls and see the heart and soul and love..

I just wanna say, I feel your whole post..especially the bolded.

 

[jem_mcmillan]

Last relationship ended the beginning of 2008 because I got accepted to grad school. I decided to put dating off to focus on school and love myself. I graduated and will start dating once I get a job. lol

 

[Makenzie]

My divorce was final in 2007 and I dated a rebound guy. That relationship ended in 2008. He was a loser. Plain and simple. Because of that I was pretty scared to get involved again. My judgment was so poor I knew I needed to make some personal changes.

Anyway, since then I've dated but nothing serious. Now I feel I have my act together and am looking for a LTR. However, because I have standards and criteria for my future relationship, I do not run into a lot of possible options. This is ok with me, because I do believe it will happen for me. In the meantime I am enjoying my life. I've been married and I have been single. Each one brings their own trials and tribulations. I need to be happy in my current life in order to be happy in my future one. At times I do feel life is getting away from me. I will be 37 this year, but I'm able to talk myself through it and focus on the many positives I have going on now.

 

[Skyfall]

I've been single pretty much my whole life, but that's due to the fact that I had no idea who I was, what I was about,what I stood for, what I believed in...you get the point. So I've been using this time to get to know myself and I most say I am pretty damn cool, whenever the time comes, I know he'll come to me; I won't have to go looking for him.

 

[EccentricRed]

OR READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP?


OR JUST A HARD TIME FINDING "THE RIGHT MAN"???:alcoholic

ANYBODY AGING AND WORRIED ABOUT STARTING A FAMILY ..... ?

All three I left up there...Ready. Very Ready. Haven't had a boyfriend in so long, I've gotten used to it. I've had so much ME time, I'm tired of myself!

Lord knows I try to be patient. I like to be social! I also know it takes two to tango, and that he (whoever he is...if he exists) would have to be interested in me as well.

I asked some of the dudes that Im friends with or have dated (and are still friends with ) if there was something wrong with me, or some constructive criticsm they had for me. All of them said there was nothing wrong with me at all, and some even threatened that if I changed we would have a problem! One said he worried about my esteem sometimes(mostly because I'm single and I don't know why), but otherwise, he doesnt know why I'm single either. With no clear answer...I'm not sure what the problem is...it is SO frustrating!

As the years have gone by, I've watched men that I've dated become husbands and/or fathers with women who as they have said to me "aren't as good as you." I've gotten the "You're too good for me." the "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you." the "I see you as a good friend." the "I love my ex, and I think we are getting back together." I could go ON...and ON! One just got married 2 weeks ago!

But, alas...I continue the waiting game...I pray someday someone will give me a shot.