isawstars
Well-Known Member
Like I told him, I am totally blindsided by this. We are 24, a lot in common, physical attraction, our families are happy we are together, we talk things out when we are upset, we support each other's interests, etc. There's nothing not to like about our relationship.
But, and of course there's a "but".... Lately, I've been needing him more than ever. I've been experiencing anxiety and depression. My grandma is sick and the hospital has sent her home with hospice. I haven't really been able to talk about it with anyone and i realized it's just building up inside of me so I texted my boyfriend that a lot of stuff is going on and I really would like us to start talking about it. His response was that he also thinks we should talk and that he has been feeling detached from everything.
A few hours later I go see him at his home. Red flag, he was drunk. He said he was a little buzzed but I've been dating him for 9 months now... he was definitely drunk. He asked me what was going on with me and I told him that he should go first... I don't know why I did I was just really curious. I figured he was feeling depressed. Turns out he felt detached and that his heart wasn't in the relationship and that I deserved so much better. This is the part I cannot stand. "You are an amazing girlfriend, you are the most beautiful and sweet person I have ever met and you deserve so much better. I cannot be the guy you want me to be. You deserve someone who will give you more attention." Wait WHAT????
I asked him if I have pressured him in anyway. He says no. I asked him if it felt like I was forcing him to not be himself in this relationship, he says no. He said that I am perfect and he doesn't deserve me. He said recently he hasn't felt a connection between us. I asked him if he wanted to try and find it again... I don't know what I was thinking when I said this but I guess I was thinking how I've been so caught up in my own problems that I didn't try to make sure we spent a decent amount of time together. But no, he said that he can't. He can't even try! I made a comment regarding how he's told me he loved me. He says he cares about me a lot in return. "That's not the same" I told him.
I truly thought this guy was the one. I've never felt this way about anyone before in my whole 24 years of living. But ya know, I don't feel sad. I am so FREAKING angry. Maybe the tears will come later, but seriously, yall I stopped at a gas station because I was shaking so much with anger.
I go to his house thinking I was gonna vent about my family's difficulty coping/grandmother dying and instead he tells me he wants to break up. This guy is DRUNK when I come to his house. He tells me that our relationship has been perfect "BUT...." Oh and not to mention this came out of LEFT FIELD. OH and how about I was hanging out with his family last night! I feel like an idiot!!!
Gawd! I just am so angry right now. I can't believe he is throwing away a good thing and not even willing to try to sort through these feelings he recently has been having. It's really going to be hard for me to come back from this. I am tired of guys telling me that I am "too good for them." This is getting old and as more and more of my friends get married, I feel hopeless.
Okay, I'm ending this now and going to sleep so I don't have to think about this anymore (temporarily).
But, and of course there's a "but".... Lately, I've been needing him more than ever. I've been experiencing anxiety and depression. My grandma is sick and the hospital has sent her home with hospice. I haven't really been able to talk about it with anyone and i realized it's just building up inside of me so I texted my boyfriend that a lot of stuff is going on and I really would like us to start talking about it. His response was that he also thinks we should talk and that he has been feeling detached from everything.
A few hours later I go see him at his home. Red flag, he was drunk. He said he was a little buzzed but I've been dating him for 9 months now... he was definitely drunk. He asked me what was going on with me and I told him that he should go first... I don't know why I did I was just really curious. I figured he was feeling depressed. Turns out he felt detached and that his heart wasn't in the relationship and that I deserved so much better. This is the part I cannot stand. "You are an amazing girlfriend, you are the most beautiful and sweet person I have ever met and you deserve so much better. I cannot be the guy you want me to be. You deserve someone who will give you more attention." Wait WHAT????
I asked him if I have pressured him in anyway. He says no. I asked him if it felt like I was forcing him to not be himself in this relationship, he says no. He said that I am perfect and he doesn't deserve me. He said recently he hasn't felt a connection between us. I asked him if he wanted to try and find it again... I don't know what I was thinking when I said this but I guess I was thinking how I've been so caught up in my own problems that I didn't try to make sure we spent a decent amount of time together. But no, he said that he can't. He can't even try! I made a comment regarding how he's told me he loved me. He says he cares about me a lot in return. "That's not the same" I told him.
I truly thought this guy was the one. I've never felt this way about anyone before in my whole 24 years of living. But ya know, I don't feel sad. I am so FREAKING angry. Maybe the tears will come later, but seriously, yall I stopped at a gas station because I was shaking so much with anger.
I go to his house thinking I was gonna vent about my family's difficulty coping/grandmother dying and instead he tells me he wants to break up. This guy is DRUNK when I come to his house. He tells me that our relationship has been perfect "BUT...." Oh and not to mention this came out of LEFT FIELD. OH and how about I was hanging out with his family last night! I feel like an idiot!!!
Gawd! I just am so angry right now. I can't believe he is throwing away a good thing and not even willing to try to sort through these feelings he recently has been having. It's really going to be hard for me to come back from this. I am tired of guys telling me that I am "too good for them." This is getting old and as more and more of my friends get married, I feel hopeless.
Okay, I'm ending this now and going to sleep so I don't have to think about this anymore (temporarily).
Unfortunately he’ll be back....one day.
I could never trust him again. Who does that? It's just selfish IMO.
